“FIREWALL” Starring Political Operative Nicole Derse, AirBNB, and Supervisor David Chiu – FIREWALL. FIREWALL, FIREWALL

October 20th, 2014

Messrs. Matier and Ross once again, Automatic For The People, Baby:

“Now we’ve learned that Chiu’s campaign consultant, Nicole Derse, is a partner in the consulting firm 50 + 1 Strategies. The firm was hired by Airbnb to recruit people who rent out their homes to lobby supervisors to support a bill friendly to the company. Derse tells us she’s never discussed Airbnb with Chiu and didn’t work on the lobbying effort. “We have a firewall between the two operations,” she said. For his part, Chiu said that “50 + 1 are not lobbyists. Early on, we sat down and set up a firewall…”

And here’s the movie poster:

Firewal

Today’s post was brought to you by the letter “F” (which stands for … FIREWALL. FIREWALL, FIREWALL, FIREWALL. FIREWALL, FIREWALL!)

Your new mantra is … FIREWALL!

Not “Chinese Wall,” oh no, that phrase is out with the trash, which was fucking news to me back in the Aughts, back about ten years ago. You see, it’s considered racist because, you know, I still don’t get why. The Great Wall of China stood the test of time right? Cf. Maginot Line, right? Oh, now I see why – it’s cause one judge decided to go off on the issue about a decade ago. Hey, Yick Wo v. Hopkins, now I can see how that was racist, you know some policy instigated by the SF Board of Supervisors because it was politically expedient, something David Chiu might sympathize with, but anyway. Actually, I still don’t get why Chinese Wall is racist.)

So fine, pick a different phrase. ANYTHING BUT “FIREWALL.” When you’re colluding about the Message of the Day, about How To Deal With Matier And Ross, work it out so that PERSON A says firewall and PERSON B says, I don’t know, ethics wall or sacred division, or something.

Just saying.

(Also, “50 + 1 Strategies” should probably change its name to 51 Strategies - why make people do math unnecessarily?)

Now, Ode to Firewall, that magical cure-all word what makes the pain go away

In India we`re all the rave
Discovered that its great as aftershave
Dropped in the sea just off Japan
Swapped 20 bottles for an aqua-walkman
Immunity from ridicule
Improves your brains if you`re a fool
And I read in the Middle East
They traded some for a hostage release
Now if you`re bald it`ll give you hair
If you got straight trousers it`ll give you flares
Feeling up you`ll get depressed
Out of style here`s a brand new dress

It was really vile weather
When we got to tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

The stuff we sell is just the best
Passing all consumer test
Days of heaven nights of sin
Voodoo stick and sharks fin
When all around you seems like hell
Just one sip will make you well
Multipurpose in a jar
If you ain`t ill it`ll fix your car
In days of yore for all bad feelings
Washing socks and stripping ceilings
Nowadays its used medicinally
For all known human malady

It was really vile weather
When we got to tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

Guaranteed don`t you know
Money back?
You`ll get a no!
It`s the one and only medicine show

Mid-Market Update: Marinello School of Beauty Declares WORLD’S SMALLEST DRUG-FREE ZONE – Just a Five Foot Radius

October 20th, 2014

This photo came from longtime SoMA resident Bluoz:

“New sign in the doorway of Marinello’s School of Beauty in Mid Market, San Francisco, where all this takes place

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He continues:

“Help us have four more years of this. Vote for Randy Shaw Jane Kim for District 6 Supervisor in San Francisco.”

High-Heeled Shoplifter Frogmarched by Three Paramilitary-Looking Dudes Through Area Whole Foods

October 20th, 2014

Past the ‘nanas, and the organic apples, and the avocados, five for five dollars:

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And then through the EMPLOYEE’S ONLY door next to the deli counter and then, no doubt, into a little room to play the latest episode of Let’s Make a Deal.*

This small store appears to be more heavily-patrolled than the Korean DMZ…

*I’m thinking a solemn promise to never again darken their door would carry some weight with the Whole Foods Police Squad, but that’s just a guess.

Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is… well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime**
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four

Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over

**”I saw this and it’s clever and cute, but I’m appalled by the ignorantly misunderstood lyrics. “My only weakness is a list of crimes” doesn’t even make sense. “My only weakness is a listed crime” puts the rest of the song in context, and provides a little history lesson about sexuality in England.”

FREE DENTAL EXAMS for Children from UCSF at Potrero Hill Festival – SATURDAY, October 18, 2014, 11:00AM – 3:45PM

October 17th, 2014

FREE DENTAL EXAMS FOR CHILDREN AT THE Potrero Hill Festival

UCSF Pediatric dentistry residents in training and dental students will offer free oral screenings and apply fluoride varnish for children with parental/guardian consent. The purpose is to provide dental education for children and their parents and/or guardians while provide a positive early experience for children with the use of fun games in a friendly setting for oral screening.

JOIN Supervisor Malia Cohen and UCSF at the Pediatric Dental Clinic for a free exam. All children welcome under 18 years of age.
Date: SATURDAY, October 18, 2014
Time: 11:00 am—3:45 pm
Location: 20th St. at Arkansas St”

Our Addled SFMTA Has Decided To Burden the Intersection of Fell and Masonic Even More: A Mandatory Left Turn Lane?

October 17th, 2014

(You want addled? Try this on for size, from the SF Weekly’s Joe Eskenazi re: SFMTA Commish Cheryl Brinkman.)

Moving on…

Hey, what problem is this going to solve?

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I can think of problems it will create, but what’s the purpose of this, right?

We know you’re going to do it, SFMTA, so why not tell us why, you know, instead of inviting people to give input you’re going to ignore anyway?

Are you going to add a left turn arrow?

Is this a safety thing?

I’m baffled…

SFMTA, you should be basing your decisions on these two factors:

1. SAFETY

2. flow

That’s it. Not aesthetics, not ideology, not “comfort,” not “liveability,” not any of that.

So, how will this proposal, you know, considering your horrible record so far, improve safety and/or flow?

Tell us.

(Oh, if only you had a blog what wasn’t focused upon getting Prop A passed next month…)

Wow: High Voltage Hummer, San Mateo County

October 17th, 2014

And yet, this rig is prolly running at around 14 volts, same as everyone else.

Arresting:

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Click to expand

My Small Beef with Nike’s Very Expensive, Very Stylized San Francisco Photo Shoot from Summer 2014

October 17th, 2014

Now when I say stylized I mean non-naturalistic, ala Soviet Realism or some old propaganda poster series.

But instead of selling The Revolution, Comrade, we’re selling shoes (and the Nike Lifestyle) to women.

Man, I can just see the crew coming up from Los Angeles* County, scouting out the locations, hiring the fitness models (not just models, fitness models, who don’t look very 415 at all), checking the weather forecast and then heading out all over the City, and then it’s clickety clickety at 11 frames per second on a full-frame SLR camera* (Canon or Nikon, one or the other) after telling the fitness bunnies to hop ever higher, and to pose this way and that way until it’s time for post, when some other crew picks out the “perfect shot” out of thousands and thousands and then we end up with this series of “aspirational” shots.

Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

2

 

Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

1

 

I can see Photoshop being pushed to its limits here, not that it’s bad or anything. The model on the right almost looks like a cartoon, almost like a female Jumpman

14

 

Does Nike really “run” SF? Mmmm… I’m thinking these shots are from some other photo shoot. Very stylized, nevertheless:

13

 

Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

12

 

More of the same

11

10

 

N’sync! Did somebody have a clapper metronome to keep all the models in sync?

9

 

What’s this?

8

 

Don’t real people look straight ahead or down when they’re jogging? Yep, but not in the Nike Motherland, Comrade. We’re Looking Forward, Towards The Future!

7

 

Very SF, but not a real runner

6

 

Very SF, but not a real runner

5

 

Not SF

4

 

And here we go again, in triangle formation, to fulfill some dude‘s vision

3

 

IDK, perhaps this aspirational fantasyland looks great Down South en LA or Up North in Oregon, but it looks a bit funny, stylized, over the top to somebody from the 415.

Why not use real women from San Francisco next time, Nike?

*One assumes. Prove me wrong!

Nike is Going to Tow Your Car This Saturday Night If You’ve Parked on Certain Blocks of Gough, GG, Webster, Fulton, Scott, Fell…

October 17th, 2014

I’ve already made this post, but I’ve just come across the route map for 2014′s Nike Women’s Half Marathon, and if this tiny blog can prevent just one unnecessary tow-job this weekend, well that’s blogesse oblige, mon frere.

Capturehg copy

If I were Nike, of Beaverton, Oregon, I’d refund the $500-$1000 tow fees that a bunch of San Franciscans are going to be getting come Sunday morning, on a case-by-case basis.

If I were Nike…

All the deets on street closures:

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The Towman Cometh: That AutoReturn Co. Will Make a Ton of Money Tomorrow Night on Fell – Nike Women’s Half-Marathon

October 17th, 2014

Well, this is new, the routing of this year’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon San Francisco.

Nike, Inc is going to blow through Fell Street like an autumnal version of the Bay to Breakers historic street party and fun run.

Take a look – here are the new signs DPW just put out, like a string of pearls through the Panhandle:

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Note the timing of the mass towings has recently been altered. Can you see the 5 AM hiding under the white sticker what says 11 PM? I’m sure there’s a story behind that.

Anywho, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.

What’s that, “outreach?” Oh yeah, Nike sent out a ton of letters to residents, customized for each mile of the route. I myself got one, but then forgot about it until I saw all these signs.

Nevertheless, even with the letters, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise. 

You’ll see.

R.I.P. Moss Room Restaurant – Now Here’s the Outdoorsy, More Casual “Terrace” at the California Academy of Sciences

October 16th, 2014

[UPDATE: So I've been looking for any kind of support for The San Francisco Chronicle's objections to Sodexo, but I'm not finding much. Throw in this rewrite from well-trafficked EaterSF of the Chronicle bit linked below and see that the obviously-well-trafficked Chron got a total of four comments on the matter.

And, oh look, The Terrace is now officially approved by District One Supervisor Eric Mar and District Four Supervisor Katy Tang.

And here's what the place looks like on a foggier day.

And now we've also got these posts:

Academy of Sciences opens “The Terrace” cafe for garden dining from The Richmond District Blog

New academy restaurant maintains Bay Area culinary trend by David Boitano, Steinhart Aquarium[!] Examiner

And here’s the new menu of The Terrace

So that’s a wrap on the Academy’s new eatery.]

Or The Terrace, if you prefer, at our California Academy of Sciences

Believe it or not, this is a color photo:

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Oh, this is better:

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Comes now the San Francisco Chronicle’s Paolo Lucchesi to complain about the choice of vendor for this eatery (and BTW, it’s also the new vendor for  Academy Cafe, about which more anon). 

So I don’t know – basically what’s happening is we’re losing the subterranean fine dining Moss Room but gaining the more casual Terrace. I’ll tell you, I was invited to sample the food twice at the Moss Room, both for the first iteration a while back and then for one of the more recent efforts, and I declined because I’m not really competent to judge food, frankly. (But at the time I wondered how the place would do considering its location, which aint good for several reasons…)

Anyway, I don’t get the beef over the new vendor. I assume that everything will work out fine.

Speaking of which, here’s the new menu from the Academy Cafe, which just started up October 1st or so:

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Now back to the Terrace – here you go, some bites with goat cheese. It was yummy:

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And here’s a salad:

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And here’s what’s in the salad:

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And here’s the pizetta:

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And so on…

Do you see what I mean here? The Terrace isn’t a replacement for the Moss Room – it’s just what came next after the Moss Room didn’t work out. And the basement location of the Moss Room would appear to make a great semi-hidden event space…

(I can recall how upset some people were about getting a new vendor at the nearby Stow Lake Boathouse a few years back. The “local” vendor basically responded to the RPD beauty contest with a real half-assed attitude – he thought he deserved the contract no matter what. I didn’t agree with that either.)

Anyway, if the food writers of the Chronicle want to head out to the Park to see the set-up, I’m sure they’d be welcome to do so…

All the deets:

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