Grand Opening of “Summit 800″ Condos This Weekend – Parkmerced Adjacent – Too Far South, Too Far West

August 21st, 2014

Well, this is news to me. Hater notes in brackets:

“Model Grand Opening At Summit 800 In San Francisco This Saturday & Sunday, August 23 And 24!

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 21, 2014 /PRNewswire/ — It’s time you experienced a higher level [I DON'T THINK LIVING WAY DOWN THERE IS HIGHER ANYTHING, IMO] of living. This Saturday, August 23 and Sunday, August 24, you’re invited to the highly anticipated Model Grand Opening of Summit 800 in San Francisco! With spectacular amenities, a peaceful community atmosphere and new single-family homes and attached condominiums priced from the low $1 millions, Summit 800 invites you to discover a new side [THE FAR WEST SIDE! THE FAR SOUTH SIDE! THE FAR SOUTHWEST SIDE] of San Francisco living. This is your chance to be among the first to tour the new models, enjoy refreshments and find a home that redefines everything [OF COURSE, EVERYTHING!]. Visit the sales office this weekend from 10:00 am to 5:00 pm and explore a community where elevated living [I DON'T THINK LIVING WAY DOWN THERE IS ELEVATED ANYTHING, IMO] starts here.

Nestled along a climbing hill [AS OPPOSED TO A NON-CLIMBING HILL?] in true San Francisco fashion, Summit 800 presents a long-awaited new residential opportunity in an unprecedented [IT'S IN THE PARKMERCED AREA, RIGHT? THAT PLACE HAS BEEN THERE FOR DECADES] location. Here, three-story single-family residences and attached condominiums are designed to fit your needs. Five unique floor plans range from 1,547 to 2,133 square feet and offer as many as three bedrooms, two-and one-half baths, private and shared two-car garages and stunning architectural styles. Plus, each residence comes equipped with solar power systems, embracing all the qualities you look for in a new home.

Designer-selected features and open living spaces create enough room for relaxation and comfort throughout [I'LL CEDE THIS POINT, SUMMIT. I'M SURE YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONDOS ARE NICE INSIDE] Magnificent kitchens include energy-saving appliances, well-appointed cabinetry and granite slab countertops, while spacious master suites offer sumptuous bath havens, boasting solid-surface vanities, luxurious soaking tubs, separate spa-like showers and stylish mirrors. Additional community conveniences include a two-acre park, tot lot and dog park [AND THE CLOSEST PLACE TO SHOP IS A CONVENIENCE STORE WITH DRUG DEALERS HANGING OUT OUT FRONT?]

Situated in desirable San Francisco, Summit 800 presents an incredible opportunity to experience a new side of life in the city. A premier location [AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!] minutes from downtown [20 MINUTES? 40 MINUTES? 50 MINUTES? 60 MINUTES? 70 MINUTES? I MEAN IT DEPENDS ON IF YOU'RE WALKING OR DRIVING OR RIDING A BIKE OR, AT A LAST RESORT, RIDING MUNI, RIGHT?]  and steps [3000?] from MUNI transit embraces rich culture, energy and style, offering access to the iconic Golden Gate Park, historic Japanese Tea Garden [SO IF SUMMIT 800 OFFERS ACCESS TO THE JAPANESE TEA GARDEN, THEN ANY PLACE IN DALY CITY SIMILARLY OFFERS ACCESS TO THE JAPANESE TEA GARDEN, RIGHT?] and city landmarks as well as world-renowned shopping, dining and entertainment destinations, from Union Square to Stonestown Galleria [YES, OUR "WORLD RENOWNED" MALL AT STONESTOWN - IT'S ALL THEY TALK ABOUT IN PARIS].

Summit 800 is located at 71 Summit Way, San Francisco, California 94132, off the I-280 S freeway and Geneva Avenue [OH FUCK, GENEVA? THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER] exit. The sales office is open daily from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm. For more details, please visit Summit800.com or call (415) 587-8800.

Summit 800 is a new home community by Comstock Homes and Maracor Development in San Francisco. Situated near San Francisco’s Lake Merced area, the 7.7-acre site is owned by Real Capital Solutions, a nationally focused investor of work-out and value-add properties.

Bicycle Thieves Under the I-80 – Ineffectual Mayor Ed Lee Powerless – An Industry That “Employs” Hundreds

August 21st, 2014

On It Goes…

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Day In…

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…and Day Out.

Here’s some of the inventory:

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Some bike thieves are homeless and some aren’t. I mean, if you have an unregistered RV filled with stolen bicycles, are you homeless? IDK.

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Some are quite industrious:

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And comical:

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Oh no, we’ve headed too far to the west, so we’re out of the chop shop zone:

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If you want to see for yourself, start at Costco and then head west under the freeway…

Just as San Francisco Taxi Drivers Hate Uber, the SFPD Really Really Hates the Longtime “Patrol Special Officer” Program

August 21st, 2014

Here’s the wiki entry.

And here’s what the SFPD has to say about Patrol Specials, below. I’ll note that the bolded parts are in the original, and really, that’s my whole point –  the bolded parts are what the SFPD wants to emphasize, in high relief, as if we, the General Public, are failing students who Just Don’t Get It.

Information: Patrol Specials

WHAT IS A PATROL SPECIAL OFFICER?

Patrol Special Officers and their Assistants are NON-SWORN private patrol persons and are NOT members of the San Francisco Police Department. The Police Commission appoints Patrol Special Officers and has oversight responsibility over the entire Patrol Special Program. Patrol Special Officers were created under the City Charter and are defined as private patrol persons who contract to perform security duties of a private nature for private persons and businesses within a geographical boundary set forth by the Police Commission.

WHAT ARE THE DUTIES OF A PATROL SPECIAL OFFICER?

Private businesses hire Patrol Special Officers to provide security services. They are private patrol officers who enter into a personal services contract with clients for security services. Typical responsibilities of a Patrol Special Officer’s include: unlocking or securing doors to a business, making checks of residences or businesses, conduct perimeter checks at burglar alarms, providing a physical presence at businesses and providing security consultations.

WHAT AREAS OF SAN FRANCISCO DO THESE OFFICERS PATROL?

Patrol Special Officer’s “Beats” are divided throughout San Francisco. A Patrol Special “Beat” owner can purchase the rights of a specific area to patrol. The purchasing process is regulated by the Police Commission and Police Department. All parts of San Francisco have Patrol Special “Beats”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Know Your Lesser Corporate Shuttle Buses: “SF Minibus” – SFMTA Code # 13 – White Ford Econoline Van in SoMA

August 21st, 2014

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Trigger Warning at DPW’s Official SoMA West Skate Park: “Squaw”

August 21st, 2014

Squaw:

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Skate park
In March 2009, Public Works initiated the conceptual planning phase for the skate park by meeting with the community and the designer, Newline Skateparks, Inc. Guided by community input, Newline presented three design concepts to the community in April 2009. Meeting attendees requested the designer fuse selected features from each concept into one final design and in May 2009, Newline presented the final skate park design to the community.”

Here’s the Trouble with Phil Ginburg’s Rec and Park: The Soul is For Hire, And They’ve Sold the Heart – Two Examples

August 20th, 2014

Here’s one example:

After 30 years, medieval archery event leaves Golden Gate Park due to fees

And here’s another:

After 25 years, steep permit fees shut down Jimmy’s Old Car Picnic in GGP

Instead of those events, we now have corporate events, because they provide thousands of dollars to Phil Ginsburg, no questions asked.

Like this tent going up in the Panhandle now. What’s this, Jimmy’s New Car Picnic, sponsored by Ford?

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Prolly not, but this tent is from some entity that has effectively outbid all those community events that Phil Ginsburg’s new-school approach has literally chased out of town.

Oh well.

The Traffic Speedometers the SFMTA Installed on Masonic Don’t Work Very Well

August 20th, 2014

Masonic is a crazy street with a crazy history. Like, 4 Masonic is more than 1000 feet away from 5 Masonic, for instance – what’s up with that? And on the other end of this street, up around the 1000 block, well, that’s where mayoral wives have lived, like Blanche Brown, you know, our First Lady up until ten years ago, the woman  that most people in town weren’t aware of, and, more recently, Jennifer Newsom, who moved away to Marin just months after husband Gavin was hectoring families to NOT move to Marin County, oh well.

Anyway, there have been three pedestrian / cyclist deaths on Masonic* in recent memory, so that’s part of the reason why the SFMTA installed a pair of speedometers to tell drivers how fast they’re going.

The problem is that they don’t work very well.

Like here. Moments before, it was indicating 24 MPH, but then it jumped up to 32 MPH all of a sudden for no reason. All the cars were moving about the same pace uphill and there was no traffic traveling down the hill:

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Speaking of which, the speedometer for traffic heading downhill is even less accurate. Sometimes it’s spot-on, sometimes it wildly optimistic, and other times it’s blank.

What’s the value in these speedometers if they don’t work?

Oh what’s that, MUNI / SFMTA? You don’t care, because you’ve moved on to other things?

Oh, OK.

*Two were due to very drunk drivers, who both kept on going (one ended up crashing into St. Mary’s and the other got busted near USF) and the other was due to a Trader Joe’s shopper jaywalking across Masonic north of Geary – this kind of jaywalking still happens hundreds of times a day even now.

Here’s the East Bay’s Giant “Left Coast Lifter,” Or What’s Left of It, After The Big Barge Went to New York

August 20th, 2014

So the barge was the Left Coast Lifter and not the crane part?

As seen just a couple months ago in Oakland:

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Remembering Mayor Gavin Newsom: “Please Stay in San Francisco and Don’t Move to Marin!

August 20th, 2014

2007:

“Assessing the demographic in the room, the mayor then made a request of these parents who, while able to afford private school, are also potentially able to help support the city’s public schools: ‘Please stay in San Francisco and don’t move to Marin!‘”

2011:

Gavin, Jennifer Newsom moving from S.F. to Marin

Springfield Has Three-Eyed Fish, But San Francisco Beats That with Four-Eyed Fish, At Your California Academy of Sciences

August 20th, 2014

Three-eyed fish, Springfield.

Four-eyed fishCalifornia Academy of Sciences:

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