Single Rainbow All The Way – This is What It Looks Like When a Team Transports a Giant Balloon Rainbow by Bicycle

June 29th, 2015

As seen on the Golden Gate Park Panhandle Bike Path:

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Middle of the Block, Middle of the Road – Here’s Why Vision Zero 2024 Will Never Work

June 29th, 2015

You know what “Vision Zero” 2024 is about? It’s about “comfort.” Check it – lots of hits, huh?

The problem with comfortable pedestrians, is that they become overconfident pedestrians.

And that might be all right on a flat stretch of the “traffic sewer” known as Post Street…

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…but as you get more comfortable with this game, you move on to hilly Masonic and this is where people get hit and this is where people die:

Who set up this arrangement, with a very popular Trader Joe’s with a very small parking lot on the left with a ready supply of free street parking on the right? SFGov, the same outfit that is promising to beat Sweden to a “Vision Zero” level of zero transportation deaths by more than a quarter-century, mostly by simply saying that’s what will happen, or that’s what might happen.

And speaking of which here’s the news of the past week – here’s an 8-figure settlement that arose from SFGov not competently performing its job re: traffic safety and here’s a 7-figure verdict that arose from the vaunted SFMTA’s vaunted taxi system.

If the SFMTA wants to eliminate transportation-related death and injury, it will need to eliminate transportation. To think that it has an an one-in-a-billion chance of attaining its ostensible goal by 2024 is to engage in fantasy.

Hanging Ten, But on a Skateboard in Golden Gate Park

June 29th, 2015

Bro was cruising right along…

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Hanging ten is when the surfer positions the surfboard in such a way that the back of it is covered by the wave and the wave rider is free to walk to the front of the board and hang all ten toes over the nose of the board.

Another Kind of FIFA Corruption: Take a Look at the 1999 US-CHINA Women’s Final – One Weird Trick (Called Cheating)

June 26th, 2015

Americans will play soccer, particularly when we’re young,* but we don’t want to watch, ’cause we think it’s boring. Sorry, World.

Now the reason we think watching televised soccer is boring is partly due to this game right here, from 1999, a BFD, with President Bill Clinton showing up. But regulation and overtime play was a “tepid affair,” non? It ended in a 0-0 tie. And then the game was won on penalty kicks. Start watching at 9:00.

Liu Ying was China’s third-round shooter, but her shot was saved by United States goalkeeper Briana Scurry.”

Boy, that was a nice high-def vid I gave you, huh? Anyway, did you notice this?

This is how the U.S. won the game. If the Chinese shooter chooses to go to the right, as she did, then there was a futbol’s chance in Hell the ball could go into the net.

Oh, so the FIFA refs didn’t call it, so it’s all right? Well, what if the goalie kept on charging and kicked the ball before the shooter had a chance to and the refs didn’t call that either? There comes a point where you simply go too far trying to attain your “goal,” or non-goal in this case.

Anyway, I’m not taking away your victory, USWT99, I’m a just putting a big, fat asterisk in the record book.

Let’s hope USWT15 cheats less today, 16 years later.

*In my part of SF, the Western Addition, you can start you kid on soccer at an RPD park at 18 months old, for like $50 a session. 

SFMTA Update: New Market Street Turn Restrictions to be “Enforced by SFMTA Parking Control Officers and the SFPD?”

June 25th, 2015

1. Well, here’s the news:

“The paint crew began restriping at Hyde Street in preparation for the turn restrictions yesterday (June 23rd), just a week after board approval. The paint crew will continue their work through July along with the sign and meter shops, to install the turn restriction signage and loading zones respectfully. It is expected that the work for the turn restrictions, loading zones, and painted safety zones will be complete by early to mid-August. The signs will be bagged until all are complete, at which time the turn restrictions will go into effect, and will be enforced by SFMTA parking control officers and SFPD.”

I can sort of see how the SFMTA is able to enforce CA’s “block the box” law, as the drivers cited are literally parking in intersections, sometimes for as long as a minute.*

But, I can’t see how the SFMTA is going to be able to “enforce” the coming turn restrictions on Market Street.

What am I missing here?

Is this simply the clumsy SFMTA talking bad agin? We’ll see.

2. And since we’re here at the above link, look at what the SFMTA considers an example of a “news article” – it’s some dude on Medium. What the SFMTA means to say is here are some news articles plus links to fawning supporters, those who’d never pointy out that we operate the slowest, least-efficient big-city transit system in America. I mean how wude for ppl to say that, right?

3. Ah, what else. Hey, SFMTA! Why not now ban SFMTA taxis from making the turns you just banned Uber, Lyft and the other TNC’s from making? Hear me out – we’d be doing it for safety. And actually, the actual position of Uber and Lyft is that taxis should be similarly banned from making these restricted turns. SFMTA board members complaining about the “nightmare” of enforcement should be placated – if you see a taxi making this turn, give it a ticket just like you do with all the other cars. Easy peasy. Oh what’s that, you don’t want to, you’d have to change some rule? Well, then why not do that? Don’t you care about safety?

4. And, what else. Oh yeah, what about handicapped drivers? They’ll be getting four new spaces to park on Market betwixt 3rd and 8th (or between 8th and 3rd, as most people like to phrase it, so I guess my brain’s not hooked up right) but then they won’t be able to make the turn onto Market to get to the spaces? Or, maybe you can make these turns? But then you’d be in a private vehicle, right? I don’t get it. The SFMTA of 2014 wasn’t afraid to discuss this issue, but the SFMTA of 2015 is, apparently.

5. And hey, what about MUNI’s accidents along this stretch of road? Let’s find the stat here, direct from the SFMTA. Oh what’s that, Gentle Reader, is your link busted too. Well, who busted it – the SFMTA itself? Why’s that? In fact, the info on that web page is gone forever from SFMTA.com – it’s down the Memory Hole, Comrade. So let’s go way back, via the Wayback Machine:

“Between 2012 and 2013, there were 162 reported injury collisions on Market between Van Ness Avenue and Steuart Street, including 2 fatalities. 33% of collisions involve Muni.

So, help me out here. What percentage of vehicles on this part of Market are MUNI vehicles? I’m thinking it’s way less than 10%. (You ever wait for the outbound buses? Just count the number of cars and taxis and cyclists what pass you by.) And yet, a third of the collisions involve MUNI? Hey SFMTA, don’t you have a problem here? Hey SFMTA, aren’t you yourselves a part of the problem?

Just asking…

*Now this is kind of stupid, as SFGov is profiting off of an intersection that it’s in control of, an intersection near the foot of Bush Street what’s managed, by SFGov, poorly, IMO. Nevertheless, the oblivious suburbanites heading home shouldn’t be blocking the box light cycle after light cycle.

TNK DFNT – The Apple Fans of Pacific Heights

June 25th, 2015

Sometimes stock options can warp your tnking

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Jst sying…

This Four-Decker Cell Phone Antenna is Beautiful – These Should Be Erected All Over Frisco, Starting with Telegraph Hill

June 25th, 2015

You dig? Cause cell phones are modern-day telegraphs / semaphores right?

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And then, when semaphores are no longer useful, we took them down.

And then, when cell phone towers are no longer useful, we’ll take them down.

Promise.