The San Francisco Citizen

Full-service public relations and public affairs consultancy Hill and Knowltonannounced today that former vice president Al Gore, upon his death, will be encased in carbonite and then buried. This type of carbon capture and sequestration (CCS) was only made possible this year through the use of nanotechnology.

Until recently this was our understanding of carbonite, made famous in Star Wars V - The Empire Strikes Back:

“By the rules of chemical nomenclature, the formula for a “carbonite anion” would be CO22-, which is thought to be an impossible formation (methanoate being preferentially formed instead).”

Impossible no longer.

Artist’s conception of the former vice president encased in the densest form of carbon known to man:

Just one treatment of this double carbon material will take the equivalent of 1200 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. The only downside will be the expense of a slightly oversized coffin. The upside is that Al Gore, Jr. will be the most severely carbon negative person in recorded history.

A relieved Hill & Knowlton spokesperson confided to one reporter that this announcement will lay to rest the controversy over the greenhouse emissions of Al Gore’s house, for some reason an issue of almost daily concern to the D.C.-based House of Flack.

If only Han Solo were alive to see this day…

Apparently, the freeways of California are open to scooters, if they’re the right kind. Like this Suzuki Burgman for instance, seen on the 101 heading north in Marin County.

Read all about these fast scooters here (and discover the set up for the Chronicle’s off-colour moped joke here). Maybe this is your new set of wheels?

You already know about the Good of B2B 2008. A good time was had by all.

But what about the Bad? Muni didn’t appear to be working very well north of Golden Gate Park in the afternoon following the big race. It wasn’t like all the buses were packed with people, it was like there didn’t seem to be any buses around at all throughout the Richmond. Must be tough to get drivers working on a Sunday.

And finally, the Ugly. Garbage everywhere, and more so than usual. Check the Flickr to see Drunken Douchebags Trash the Panhandle. Reopening Fell Street was such a chore that the DPW’s Mohammad Nuru called the cops to get some help.

Heading back uphill to the acme of the race course in Golden Gate Park (which is no where near Hayes Street Hill, the purported highest point on the race route): 

The cold dawn of day reveals a lot of trash still out there on the Streets of San Francisco. Maybe the people from Dutch financial institution and B2B sponsor ING could come down from their aerodynamic house and lend a hand with the cleanup? Just asking.

Hopefully, things will go more smoothly next year. Speaking of which… 

See you next year!

[The Panhandle is much cleaner now around 11:00 AM Monday morning. Yay.]