Attention Phone Book Companies: San Francisco Does Not Want Your Product

Here’s the problem – you phone book companies just assume that people want your product. En realidad, nobody wants phone books anymore.

What’s that? People like the coupons? Well, then just mail them the coupons, fine. What’s that? People can always call these 800 numbers to opt out of this whole meshugenah process? And then what? Get put on hold and then “press 4, then 5, then 2…” Srsly

Maybe most everybody in Witchita, Kansas likes your five pound paperbacks, but not out here on the west si-iiide of the country.  

The horror – unwanted, soggy phone books. Click to expand:

And do you realize what people are doing with your pulped up dead trees? Setting portable toilets on fire, that’s what. Really. It’s supposed to be a secret, but do with this information as you will.

To review, nobody wants your product. All souls living in the 415 want to opt out of home delivery.

In the alternative, just put your books directly into the recycling bins out front to save us the trouble.

Please make a note of this for next year. Kthanxbye.

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7 Responses to “Attention Phone Book Companies: San Francisco Does Not Want Your Product”

  1. Chris Rusak says:

    Two words: Rainbow coupons.

    (I am one of the douchebags that give everyone 24 hours to claim their phone book, and after that, any left on the sidewalk are fair game to complete my collection of coupons for groceries for the year. Do you know how much those coupons add up to at the end of the year? It’s crazy.)

    Wholeheartedly agreed that the books are a TOTAL waste of paper, recycled or not, waste of resources and completely unhelpful… and if Rainbow can off a 20% off coupon for every shopping week of the year, then they could just lower their damn prices in the first place. Alas…the cycle continues.

  2. sfcitizen says:

    Last time I saw those coupons they were only good for six months of the year, but I’ll agree that Rainbow shoppers should keep a look out for these phonebooks.

    Stick it to the Man!

  3. Just a thought…. every time you bring one of these coupons into Rainbow you convince them that the money spent with the phone book companies is worth it. So they spend more (and then raise prices). The phone books will continue to pile up on doorsteps until they’re no longer profitable.

  4. Melissa Griffin says:

    Sing it, brother. There’s a phone book dogpile in my apartment lobby right now. Argh!

  5. elly says:

    yes. it makes me SO incredibly angry how much paper and fuel was wasted to spam the entire city with phone books that nobody wants.

  6. kenc says:

    so the nearly $1 trillion in commerce those books generate for millions of small businesses in addition to 75,000+ jobs involved in the business are a waste of “paper and fuel”???

  7. sfcitizen says:

    IMO, if telephone books were banned tomorrow, we wouldn’t lose a trillion dollars in commerce.

    The people involved in the industry could do other, less wasteful things.

    It’s not my job to tell you how to police your industry, but it’s not looking good in San Francisco right now. It’s in your interest to work this problem out.