Graffiti Tagging Brightens Up Otherwise Dreary Octavia Boulevard Dwelling

I don’t condone this spray paint vandalism, but the bigger crime here is on the bottom – that’s part of San Francisco’s Octavia Boulevard/Onramp/Offramp/Idling Car Parking Lot, a relatively new public policy failure. Interestingly, this 133-foot-wide, quarter-mile-long Scar Upon the Land does not benefit motorists or transit users, or cyclists or pedestrians. Isn’t that funny?

Why not just get rid of this monstrosity, take the whole shebang down going all the way back to Mission and then just alter the excessively-wide boulevard part? That would benefit motorists, transit users, cyclists AND pedestrians. Is Octavia really a Great Street? Really, like in real life? I’m sure the Boulevard Movement looks great when it’s just plans drawn up in an Ivory Tower somewhere, but is anybody obligated to visit the resulting mess to see what’s been wrought?

And you may find yourself/ living in a shotgun shack near the Octavia disaster. HTF did we get here?

Can you imagine me walking my grandmother across Octavia Boulevard? All right Grandmere, we’ve just started, you’ve only got 100 more feet to go to get to the other side. At 2.5 feet per second, we’re talking about more than 40 seconds. Do you think The Man would allow precious Octavia to be redlighted for that long a time, with the “DON’T WALK” signal counting down? Think again.

Of course the bottlenecks are at the start and finish, so drivers are oftentimes staring at a green light but unable to move due to the heavy traffic that maxed out capacity about week after the ribbon cutting. This blocks cross traffic, including buses, peds and cyclists. To what end? So we can try Something New for the sake of trying Something New?  

We ought to Bring This Mother Down, shatter the lens and grind it into sand.

What is the Legacy of Octavia Boulevard?

“Octavia has severely impacted traffic on Laguna at all times, not just peak.”

Octavia is a mess for bicyclists and there are tons of vehicle accidents.”

What has Octavia taught us? Stopped cars/slow idling cars seem to pollute more.”

And what do the Yelpers have to say?

“Who’s the dip-shit that designed this Octavia Street nightmare between Market St and Fell St?”

“1) It’s a freeway offramp – slash – playground. Kids and cars!! Who’s the genius??
2) It doesn’t take you across Market Street but rather has you wait at the light — filling the above-mentioned park with your exhaust as you idle along.
3) The “local access” road is a perfect place to die while crossing the street, as some confused driver makes a right hand turn.
4) It got voted in after at least three failed initiatives. During the boom. When the population was more passionate than informed and the Hayes Valley Merchant’s Association could sweet talk them with this park bullshit. ”I like parks not freeways! I’ll vote yes!” The old Fell Street offramp was ugly and the dark sidewalks underneath were full of pee. It’s been replaced by a classic San Francisco compromise that essentially works well for no one but makes some smug mofos feel like they discouraged driving when all they really did was put more smog on the street. And now the sidewalks are sunny, but they’re still full of pee. I wonder why an offramp didn’t solve homelessness…?”

“The poster child for stupidity in San Francisco. STILL not finished after 25 or so years???

“Unsafe at any speed for:

OHMiGOD are you kidding?? Wow, I looked up this review expecting to see half a star and a lovely littering of ‘fuckity fuck motherFUCKER,’ wowwweee…everyone i talk to in person HATES this addition…

Why we hate the new Octavia Blvd:

1. It is confusing. What is with the extra mini-side lane next to the regular lane? Are you allowed to switch back and forth at liberty? What is the purpose of this mini lane?

2. Why are there traffic lights AND stop signs in front of the mini-lane? When there’s a traffic light and a stop sign, which one wins?

3. The traffic on Octavia Blvd, coming from the freeway, is always atrocious. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is. Something about it’s ingenious design allows it to remain backed up 24 hours a day.

4. If you don’t play your cards right, you WILL get forced onto the freeway. You just think you’re along for an innocent ride, and then , BAM, Octa-Nazi Blvd has you marching along in its gigantic oppressive middle lane and it wil NOT let you out, no matter how much you beg.

I don’t get it, I don’t get it! What’s going on with this street monster?”

“This is NOT the haven for cyclists and pedestrians the city touts it as being. Whose idea was it to build the off ramp at street level? It should be RAISED and go over Market or they should build some kind of blockade so that people coming east on Market absolutely can’t try to make a right onto the highway and clip pedestrians and cyclists. That single spot is a death trap.

It’s pretty and it’s great that it’s not a shithole anymore but this is seriously some urban planning gone awry. The shared bike/car lanes on the outside would be great if the cars that drove in them weren’t complete idiots. Sharrows mean it’s my lane too, buddy, so don’t honk at me and tell me to get on the sidewalk, don’t rev your engine behind me, and don’t speed up to 20 to squeeze by me. The middle lane is for fast driving of cars, not the outer lanes. Unfortunately people are unable to grasp this concept and choose to terrorize pedestrians and cyclists who are trying to enjoy the sections of the project supposedly designed to make things better for us.

And the light/stop sign combo… what the hell? It’s maddening. If this is supposed to benefit cyclists, why make it so difficult to make a left onto Market? One must cross Octavia and go onto the sidewalk then cross Market and make the left there, or cross Market then cross the on/off ramp via Market. That second option wouldn’t be so bad except for the fucktards coming down Market who don’t understand what NO RIGHT TURN means and repeatedly take out cyclists at the same spot as they try to turn onto the highway.”

And on it goes.

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One Response to “Graffiti Tagging Brightens Up Otherwise Dreary Octavia Boulevard Dwelling”

  1. fsharp says:

    I agree 100%. Octavia is a fail.

    I think you are the first to give the argument it’s full glory!