Beer Kickball is Now All the Rage in Golden Gate Park

Look at these boozehounds playing beer kickball in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.

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Tecate, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Coors and Miller Genuine Draft are all utilized on the field of play.

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(Stupid men. How juvenile! Is this why our grandfathers fought the Second World War, and spent their weekends on the Jersey shore? I think not.)

All the womenfolk were merely spectators at this point in the bucolic bacchanalia. One was seen holding a can of nonregulation Pepsi.

Here are the rules of Beer Kickball Club:

  • Don’t talk about Beer Kickball Club.
  • Don’t talk about Beer Kickball Club.
  • A beer must be in-hand at all times during gameplay (i.e. while fielding and batting).
  • Dropping your beer while batting or running the bases results in an automatic out. This does not apply if your beer is intentionally knocked out of your hand.
  • If a beer is dropped by a fielder, the base runner may not be called out until the fielder reclaims his/her beer.
  • A beer check may be performed on an individual of the opposing team at any time. If the beer is found empty, game play will stop and the player must chug a full beer. If the player with the empty beer happens to be a batter/base runner, the player will be ruled out.
  • What’s next, Beer Hooverball? Heaven Forfend.

    “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion of never playing beer kickball than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.”

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    One Response to “Beer Kickball is Now All the Rage in Golden Gate Park”

    1. salsa says:

      It’s called sloshball, kids, now drink up!