Northern California is Now Bereft of Revolving Restaurants – Let’s Get the Equinox Spinning Again!

What’s up with the former Equinox Restaurant way up high down at the foot of Market Street? It don’t revolve no mo. What’s the deal? Does it need a new motor? Cause my stepbrother is parting out a Subaru –  he has a flat four boxer with a recent rebuild that could totally be used to spin that place like a record, baby.

I believe that this City should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a diner on the revolving restaurant known as Equinox, spinning him as he dines, and returning him safely to the Earth.

Now don’t talk to me about how it’s never gonna revolve ’cause the Hyatt Regency people are dead-set on continuing with their “sorry hemispheres” concept. What do the rich people do up there anyway in the Regency Club Lounge? They sure as heck don’t revolve – seems a waste, doesn’t it? What the richers do up there is watch cable TV without being disturbed by the hoi polloi, such as yourself.

See the idiot box flickering away up in there? That’s what they’re doing with the Big E these days:

IMG_8074 copy

Click to expand

This boxy turntable was perched atop Embarcadero Five for one reason, and only one reason: to separate tourists from their money by serving them bad food with a nice view. And it was available to all comers – as long as you had $30 for rubbery chicken, you were welcome to take a ride.

Those were the days.

We should fix up the motor, lube the spindle, and get her turning again – we could re-open the Equinox in time for NewYear’s Eve, December 31st, 2009.

Then we’d party like it’s 1999. (Will Smith rapped a Rock the Casbah cover? Wow.)

We choose to go to the Equinox. We choose to go to the Equinox in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”

Evict the Richers, Free the ‘Nox!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments are closed.