Twitter + Jane Kim + Randy Shaw + Douglas Shorenstein = San Francisco Corruption = Corporate Welfare

Hey Twitter, it’s me, San Francisco. You know what would really help right now would be if you all wrote a kind of fake ransom note, a letter threatening to move away from the 415 unless we carve out a tax break just for you and a few other select corporations. Kind of an extortion-between-friends kind of thing.

Twitter: You mean like this?

Sure, that’s it, that hits the spot. We’ll have our people change a few of the lines, just a little editing. And then we’ll add that on top of this bullshit report that assumes things that just aren’t going to happen and then we’ll call it a day, we’ll say it’s good enough for government work.

Wow, man, like wow.

Hey Twitter, don’t you want you to see if you can make it without government subsidies?

Who knows? Maybe you would be happier in San Mateo County.

Who can turn the world on with its smile?
Who can take a nothing site, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it’s you Twitter, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all (with a little bit of 8-figure* corporate welfare)
You’re gonna make it after all (with a little bit of 8-figure corporate welfare)

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, Twitter this time you’re all alone
But it’s time you started living
It’s time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all (with a little bit of 8-figure corporate welfare)
You’re gonna make it after all (with a little bit of 8-figure corporate welfare)

*Seven, Six, Five, who knows? But Twitter, you will never employ 6000 people in San Francisco, even if you count in all those “some college” people you say you’re going to hire… (OTOH, WiFi for Civic Center, ooh that’d be nice! Don’t screw up that implementation, Twitter.)

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One Response to “Twitter + Jane Kim + Randy Shaw + Douglas Shorenstein = San Francisco Corruption = Corporate Welfare”

  1. sfmike says:

    It really is rather disgusting, isn’t it?