Archive for April, 2011

It Ain’t Easy Being Cheesy – One Reason Why People Hate Lawyers – But At Least There’s No Gold Pak

Friday, April 29th, 2011

How many elements of cheesiness can you spot on the back of this poorly-screwed-together ride.

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The first thing we do, etc…

Cops, Meet the Twitterloin – Twitterloin, Meet a Whole Bunch of SFPD Cops Just Walking Around

Friday, April 29th, 2011

This kind of scene is new to me, with a bunch of cops just milling about the Mid-Market recently:

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Changes are afoot…

Not Too Many Takers in the Twitterloin for SOBER LIVING IN SAN FRANCISCO, But at $655/Mo, It Could Be Woise

Friday, April 29th, 2011

O.K. then:

“We are a group of recovering men and women who are voluntarily dedicated to our sobriety.

From $655-$1050.

Call Paul for Details. 510 612-7310

As seen on Market Street:


Most Electric Cars Lie to You, But Not the ZapCar Zebra

Friday, April 29th, 2011

It is what it is, and that’s refreshing:

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And look at all those CDs. Hurray!


David Perry Sells Out to Anti-Gay “Christian Billionaire” Philip Anschutz: Crappy, Official Bay to Breakers Website

Friday, April 29th, 2011

Let’s see, I got to pay off on that headline. All right:

1. David Perry & Associates is sort of famous with members of the national media for being overwhelmed and understaffed during the Olympic Torch run fiasco back in aught-eight, but around town this outfit is known for slapped-together websites and YouTube videos extolling the virtues of whatever local government has on its mind – like cancelling Halloween in one place and promoting it at another, that kind of thing.

2. Anti-gay Christian Billionaire Philip Anschutz is the prime mover behind AEG’s annual Bay to Breakers fun run / party.

3. And here’s the crappy, official website for B2B. (Can’t imagine Sam Singer had anything to do with it, but who knows…)

4. And I don’t think that DPA is doing this for free, so there’s the sell-out.

O.K. then. Let’s see here, let’s note:

1. Unlicensed photography (David, do you think you have a license to use this shot on any of your for-profit websites? You do not.)

2. Crappy greenscreen videos (that get watched mostly by people who made or starred in said crappy green-screen videos), a DPA hallmark.

3. And, oh yes, for some reason he’s posted an official seal of the City and County of San Francisco. For some reason. Oddly.

Now, I’m not saying that you couldn’t slap together a similar crappy website in a shorter amount of time, cause it doesn’t matter – even if you underbid DPA by 50%, you’d still lose out ’cause you lack his guanxi (Chinese for corruption/influence, something like that).

Now, the message that DPA’s website means to convey is that “We Are Serious” about the enforcing the rules. So:

“People attempting to enter the race with a float, open-alcohol containers or without pre-paid registration will be removed and subject to criminal prosecution. We’re serious.”

I don’t know about all the “subject to fines and prosecution” they have in there. I mean, I could follow you around and point out how you could be “subject to fines and prosecution” for jaywalking and stuff like that, right? But you’d never get arrested for that kind of thing, right? Not unless you get drunk and start hitting people…

And what’s this?

“….no headphones and no wheeled objects of any type, such as baby joggers, strollers, grocery carts, pets, roller blades, skateboards, or bicycles, are allowed…”

Harsh, man.

And if you just paid $85(!) to have them mail you a numbered bib and then maybe your plans change or maybe you get sick, you’re not supposed to sell it and you can’t get a refund:

“Registration fees are non-refundable, non-transferable…”

That kind of sucks, huh?

Oh well, the A in AEG didn’t get to become “The Christian Billionaire” by playing  Mr. Nice Guy.

Now, I know why gay people would take money from AEG to help put on the BtoB. You know, for the money.

But why would gay people volunteer to work for the Bay to Breakers in light of A’s support of Colorado’s anti-gay Proposition 2 back in the day?

Oh well.

And oh yes, the site has an icon of a man wearing a tutu. Isn’t that kicky! Isn’t that spr srius?

All right, let’s get the party started….

And oh, this year, the SFPD will have “sobering tents” for you. They’ll have water and juice and maybe a free ride home. Bonus!

And oh, here’s what the SFPD is really up to on gameday.

On no, an unpermitted “bandit” on the spr srius “racecourse!” Honey, you are “subject to arrest.” What’s that? Why yes, it is a Harley. Sure you can sit on it. Upsee daisy:

And so on…

…and so on.

All right, let’s get the party started

Mayor Edwin Lee Tweets About “How to Support SM in San Francisco”

Thursday, April 28th, 2011
Gd question-how to support sm in SF. One thing we are doing is JobsNow2. Providing funding for sm biz to hire the unemployed.”

If Twitter is soon going to get a load of corporate welfare,* then there’s no reason why Kink. com (kids, ask the ‘rents before clicking) shouldn’t too, I s’pose…

*How Twitter Extorted a Desperate City

NB: Politicians might be able to give you employment, but they don’t, they can’t “create jobs.”

Scott Beale / Laughing Squid

It’s Twitter’s world. We’re just living in it…

Why Don’t You Go On the “San Francisco Ghost Hunt” for Just $20 – It’s Guaranteed!

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Whenever you see this kind of scene on the Streets of San Francisco, odds are it’s just local Ghostbuster Jim Fassbinder and his nightly San Francisco Ghost Hunt.

This highly-rated three-hour tour of the Victorians around Lower Specific Whites Pacific Heights is guaranteed, in a way, and for $20 you can’t beat that.

As seen California Street for the past 13 years. Which one of these people is the ghost?

Here’s your guarantee:

“I really can’t guarantee ghosts. But I can guarantee the San Francisco Ghost Hunt will be nearly three hours of unearthly fun! You’ll see wonderful Victorian mansions and learn the city’s haunted history, be touched time and again by the magic of supernatural beliefs, and hear documented authentic ghost stories presented with passion and drama. You will be amazed to learn a few ways to directly encounter a ghost yourself…if you dare. You will get exercise, fresh air, and have an outstanding good time. The San Francisco Ghost Hunt is: humor and history, emotion and education; with supernatural spookiness! You will be entertained, enlightened and enchanted. That’s absolutely GUARANTEED!”

And they’re baaaaaa-ack for 2011! See?

See you there!

Burning the Midnight Oil: When You Get Home, Turn On Every Light in Your Place – Why Not? You Deserve It

Thursday, April 28th, 2011


As seen in the Western Addition:

And leave your refrigerator door open as well – there’s a light in there too!

More lux! Moar! Hang those who talk of less!

Former Mayor Gavin Newsom’s Former V8 SUV Limousine: It’s Now Working Undercover for the SFPD?

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

That’s what you might conclude after seeing a tableau such as this on Market Street:

Seen being driven by a uniformed member of the San Francisco Police Department:

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(Couldn’t tell if there are still holes in the roof from the television antenna installation.)

Or maybe Gavin’s former limo is down in the batcave, fueled up and waiting for the Next Great San Francisco Disaster?

Don’t know…

On Sale at a Mission Street Walgreens: Belts! Sexy Belts! Berry Sexy Belts! Berry, Berry Sexy Belts!

Thursday, April 28th, 2011


They have a whole assortment:

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