Oh Wow: Tony Robles, Former Doorman at the Pricey Presidio Landmark Apartments, Unloads in the Pages of Poor Magazine

Oh wow, man. Former Presidio Landmark Apartments doorman Tony Robles tells his tale in Poor Magazine (aka Prensa Pobre).

Alls I can say is that it’s an interesting mix of fact and opinion. One of the first grafs is below and the whole thing is in the link above.

Anyway, I guess a lot more people are living there these days – here’s what’s on Yelp about this building.

And here’s the place itself, way on the right, from the deck of one of those nearby multi-floor townhomes:

Click to expand

Here it is:

“The edifice I refer to is the Presidio Landmark Apartments, located in the city’s Presidio on Wedemeyer St. near 14th Ave.  I was working at this insular, hermetically sealed, self-aggrandizing, pseudo palace—home to CEO’s and hedge funders—in the capacity of door attendant.  My brown face was the first you’d see when walking through the French doors.  There I would sit, donning a somewhat comical habiliment of tan dockers, innocuous (save for the itching) cotton candy blue shirt, bottomed off with clunky Timberland shoes.  The Presidio Landmark—an ideal locale for one of those obnoxious Lexus Christmas commercials—home to some of the city’s highest rents–nearly $3000 a month for a “junior” one bedroom, $3200-3800 for a one-bedroom, upwards of $4000-5000 for a 2 bedroom, and $7000+ for a multi-floor townhome located in the periphery.  The building casts an ominous presence when approached.  It is situated on a grassy slope, adorned with foliage including succulents, native plants, African varieties—underneath canopy-like palm trees, impassive and pale, stripped of their natural skin.  One gets the impression when approaching this fortress-like structure that something is terribly wrong.  This home of the upwardly mobile, the hedge funders, gentrifiers of neighborhoods—this colonized place sits on the ancestral home of Native people.  It is the structure that was once known as the Merchant Marine and Public Health Service Hospitals.  It was a place that provided free care to native people, including native Hawaiians, people with leprosy, merchant marines and people who didn’t have access to decent healthcare.  It is part of the 42 acre Public Health Service District.  It is the place that was abandoned in the mid 80’s when it was decommissioned by the Reagan administration.  It is a place whose cries can be heard, a place where ancestral spirits cry out for justice against land grabbing developers like Forest City, who, with the Presidio Trust, took the sacred Ohlone land to satisfy its voracious corporate hunger.  The Presidio Landmark: home to the 1%.”

But what’s this, here’s an ad for just $2150, so maybe they’ve lowered their asking prices lately:

*Junior One Bedroom, One Bathroom available for move in 2/8/2012 
*Brand New Luxury Apartment Home 
*Presidio National Park address 
*Beautiful finishes including hardwood floors, granite countertops and stainless steel energy efficient appliances 
*Bosch full-size, in-suite washer and dryer 

Presidio Landmark Features:
LEED Gold Certification 
24-hour Door Attendant
Concierge Services
On-site Maintenance Team 
Massage Room and Spa Services
Private Dining Room with Wine Cellar 
Jacuzzi Hot Tub
Fitness Center/Yoga Room
Beautiful Interior Gardens with Fire Pit and breathtaking views
Parking available at $150/month

Live in luxury at the Presidio Landmark where there is plenty of room to stretch out and enjoy the great outdoors; you will have immediate access to the Marina, Laurel Heights and Presidio Heights. Nowhere else in San Francisco will you find an historic building that has been sustainably renovated with modern comforts and conveniences built right in. Host a private dinner party in our Dining Room or catch the MUNI to the Financial District for a night out. 

And there you have it.

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4 Responses to “Oh Wow: Tony Robles, Former Doorman at the Pricey Presidio Landmark Apartments, Unloads in the Pages of Poor Magazine”

  1. Mr. Kurtz says:

    With an attitude like that, I can’t imagine why he lost his job.

  2. sfcitizen says:

    I hear you.

    But it’s an interesting read, especially for anyone who might want to live way out there…

  3. jenwriter says:

    I really enjoyed this entire story. Thanks to linking to it. While it’s certainly has it’s embittered moments it was also funny and overall great to read. I love the “New York Style Doorman” commentary.

    When I just searched on Craigslist they show a range of prices, the lowest being $2600 for a “one bedroom” that is 450 sq ft, and doesn’t include parking. It looks from Google Maps like this is the only place in SF you can find parking. Prices go up from there.

  4. Anon says:

    Amazing how much contempt this person has for the people who are paying his salary, especially since apparently the only thing “wrong” with the residents is they can afford to live in the building where he’s employed.