Word for the Day: A “Sailbag” is a Douchebag Who Comes to Town to See the Staged America’s Cup Boat Race

Here’s the view from the front, complete with fake Euro-style Front License Plate* and handicapped placard** allowing said sailbag the right to park wherever the Hell he wants however long he wants, for free:

Click to expand

And here’s the rear view what gives the game away. See? It says right there “SAIL BAG.”

And dude’s from Marin County of course.

And there’s a yacht club logo in there as well, of course.

All that’s missing is the CHP 11-99 Foundation scam license plate holder, of course, you know, to get out of those sticky situations involving the police and the CHP, you know, because you’re a Eurotrash sailbag from god damn Marin County so you drive like a bat out of Hell.

Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.

And more are coming, soon enough.***

In closing, sailbag.

*Is this a legal setup in California? NO, not at all – the DMV gave you an FLP for a reason. I’m not sure if other states still require front license plates, but CA sure does. Peace officers and meter maids both will cite you for this.

**Is this a legal use of a handicap placard? Probably. But do I think that said sailbag deserves to park for free all day on the streets of San Francisco? No. What dude’s doing isn’t exactly illegal because nobody ever gets in trouble for it. You could get a handicapped placard as well, why not? If the first doctor says no, then keep on looking, there’s nothing stopping you from doctor shopping. And then eventually you will find one to sign the DMV form. And actually, the people that have handicap placards consider you a sucker for not having a placard. Hurray! Free parking for me, the sailbag! 

***Do I have objections to rigged boat races on San Francisco Bay in general? No, not at all. But instead of us paying a sailbag like Larry Ellison eight or nine figures to host his little boat party here why don’t we reverse that and have sailbag Larry Ellison**** pay us eight or nine figures for the right to host his little boat party here? See how that works? One little oversight like that makes all the difference.

****Speaking of which, here’s what it looks like when Chief Sailbag Larry Ellison hisself comes to town to nosh on the prime rib. See his Toyota LFA there parked on Van Ness?

Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.

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4 Responses to “Word for the Day: A “Sailbag” is a Douchebag Who Comes to Town to See the Staged America’s Cup Boat Race”

  1. Rick says:

    “Technically” a Lexus LFA. And yeah, Larry truly is above the law.

    Yesterday I was running the Lyon Street steps by his house and noticed his garage door was open with one of his goons standing out front. The garage was completely empty – except for a set of loafers. “Strange”, I thought.

    Turned out Larry was right down the street and nearly took me out when I was crossing Broadway and Broderick. See, Larry doesn’t stop at those red octagon things that the rest of us do. And he certainly didn’t care about the two other cars in the intersection OR the pedestrian.

  2. Nancy Ewart says:

    That car probably belongs to one of my ex-bosses – all of whom sailed, all of whom had the most utter contempt for the “common” man (or woman) and never lost an opportunity to screw the public. OH – and they all lived in Marin County and worked for a huge medical/university complex which shall go unnamed. Keep up the heat on what the realities are behind the America’s cup. What a rip off.

  3. Slider says:

    I like S bag’s wheels personally, being the last of the air cooled porsche’s, except for the fake turbo look and the fake euro license, but a 15 year old porsche with a KBB of 18k aint going to impress the diggers and divorcees at the St. Francis YC. Frankly, sounds like a d-bag who made a little cash during the bubble, bought a porsche, developed a serious xanax/oxy habit, and is now “disabled”from lower back pain.

  4. My favorite of your writing so far I am old and a native SF-er disabled with time to photo document the Strybing Arboretum atrocities frequently

    My thanks you with musical response

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