This is it, the whole thing.
As seen from Balboa betwixt 6th and 7th:
Click to expand
Of course The Nevius Incident is still fresh in people’s minds, but the healing has begun.
Bonus: The super-long lines are gone.
NB: You see, CW Nevius? There IS a sign out front. It says Tekka.
どうもありがとうミスターロボット (dōmo arigatō misutā Robotto)
Tags: 2013, 537 balboa, ave, avenues, bay area, c w nevius, california, chef, chronicle, cook, district, fish, himtsu, inner, inner richmond, izakaya, Japanese, mr robot, nazi, Nevius, restaurant, San Francisco, Seafood, sign, soup nazi, street, sushi, sushi nazi, tekka, Tekka Sushi, Writer
Offer an air of exclusivity, petite space, non-conformist attitude (like Sam Wo’s) and you’ll get the followers-by-the-nose in line. Hope the food is actually good. More rules that should be enforced:
No looking at servers
No looking at anything/anyone except the morsels on your plate
No bowing except to accept the 2 squares of toilet paper before entering the stall
No saying “thank you” or “thanks”; a scowl would be in order if the green tea is too bitter
No ordering green tea
No casual verbal references to how this tastes just like in Japan
No wondering if the owners are or are not or could be or probably are or probably are not Japanese; if fact no wondering is allowed or you will get a fork
No rubbing the chopsticks to smooth them out; that brands you as an outsider and outsiders do not belong inside
No discussing Balboa as the next Valencia Street in 10 years
No eating while chewing and no swallowing while discussing any of the above rules
No exclaiming how healthy the food is; no food is healthy; it’s just necessary to live
No talk about the mercury in tuna; tuna’s mercury is released only when the fish is flash-cooked to 650 degrees; they don’t do that here because the live tuna do not allow it; don’t even ask (even nicely)–
Speaking of which do not ask nicely; it’s uncool and also not cool
Of course, do not even pull out your phone at all during the meal–before or after. Only do so, when at least 50 feet from the front door. If you reach into your pocket or purse, declare loudly with vocal fry tones that you’re not reaching for your phone.
Don’t slurp anything; that’s highly over-reported; only the Symbionese Liberation Army did that after kidnapping Patty Hearst and reports were that she never ate Japanese while at UC.
Finally, don’t make any references to the Soup Nazi. His place failed in SF and this place might unless you stand in line for hours on end and encourage others to do so. If you can’t wait go to Swan on Polk St. and stand in line there; then you can imagine what it’s like for cattle to be in line waiting to be stunned before their throats are slit.
Oh and another finally: post any comments on YELP–positive or negative–and every social media account of yours will be hacked within 26 hours.