Here’s Why You’re a Sucker for Not Getting a Handicapped Parking Placard Now: Free Parking Won’t Last Forever

Hey look, here’s seven in a row, as recently seen on the streets of San Francisco:

Click to expand

All right, here’s what NOT to do:

Borrow Nana’s handicapped-placarded Crown Vic to drive to a Giants game to park for free close to the ballpark, like you’re a rock star.

NO NO NO! ‘Cause if you do that, somebody will stake out your nana’s car just waiting for you to return. And then it’ll be, “Where’s your nana, where’s your nana?” And then you’ll get a ticket or two, worth a grand or two.

What you need to do is a little doctor shopping. It’s not too hard to find a CA doc to sign your DMV form because NO DOCTOR IN THE HISTORY OF CALIFORNIA HAS EVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE FOR SIGNING ONE OF THESE DMV FORMS.

But even if you don’t know a doctor, that’s OK because you can have a chiropractor or a nurse or a physician assistant or a midwife sign the form as an alternative.

Now, what handicap should you claim? Well, everybody has something, right? Alls I know is that most handicapped placards used for parking on the streets of San Francisco are being used as a free parking scam. So therefore, lots of people have lies on their DMV forms.

Once you get your “legal” placard, that’s it – nobody in SF will question it.

Of course, you can’t “pull a CW Nevius” by parking in the towaway lane during rush hour, oh no – you’ll get towed. But you will be able to park for free all day all day at meters just like the tens and thousands of others.

Now you’re on the trolly!

One last note – you gotta move quickly, cause this game is getting too big, it’s becoming farcical, too many newcomers are ruining things for the fraudulent placard holders of the world. Check it, Illinois is having a crackdown these days but California is not, not yet anyway.

Why? Well, because no California legislator has stepped up to sponsor a bill to change the law to allow for charging handicap placard holders for parking, that’s why.

They’ve been asked, but they’ve said no.

They’re too chicken!

Oh well.

But someday, this free parking scam will end, the gold rush of free parking will end.

Someday.

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