OMG, from Ukraine with Love, It’s a Nuclear-Capable Soviet Tu-95 Bear Bomber on eBay! Just $3 Mil. – Or “Buy It Now” for $5 Mil.

Here’s the news of the day:

Check out TU-95MS – Soviet Bomber, yours for $5,000,000 (plus shipping) http://r.ebay.com/tQ5kOQ  via @eBay Kyle Mizokami Matthew Doye ‏@MatthewDoye

Click to expand

Basically, the Tu-95 is the Soviet version of Boeing’s iconic B-52 bomber, except it has turboprops (instead of jet engines)and it’s a narrowbody, you know, for speed.

One wonders why our Ukrainian comrades don’t offer to just fly the thing to the highest bidder. Oh, what, it’s not in flying condition? Uh oh.

Anyway, have at it, buy it and see just how big of a drain this обтяжливе майно (l’oliphant blanc) will be on your finances.

All the deets:

 “Dear Bidders,

We are a company with locations in Switzerland , Germany and the Ukraine. Our field of activity includes the production and distribution of goods and raw materials from Ukraine and the rest of the world, headquartered in Lucerne, Switzerland.
Our partner in the Ukraine have acquired an aircraft of type the

TU- 95MS

A Soviet Era strategic bomber (demilitarized with all documents in order and ready for shipment).

Which we would like to offer you for sale.

All the shipping costs to the Harbour of Nikolaiev or Odessa are included in the final sell price.

If there are any more questions, you can reach us at any time at the following phone number:

Germany
+49178 / 3330077

We can therefore dissamble the Plane so u can get one or all of the turbines exclusively. Or the Plane without the Turbines sperate.

Just write a message or call us about further information or the price.

Please only serious bids

Have Fun bidding”

Aboriginal flavor packet in pocket of the Raider jacket, Soviet issue
Potato basket, sadomasochistic, lipstick thespian
Jada Pinkett Smith versus Wesleyan
Wealthy friends, failed Marxists, stale heartless
Hailed artists, frail, sensitive, pale sales targets

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2 Responses to “OMG, from Ukraine with Love, It’s a Nuclear-Capable Soviet Tu-95 Bear Bomber on eBay! Just $3 Mil. – Or “Buy It Now” for $5 Mil.”

  1. Andrew says:

    A Bear bomber is all fine, but what I really want is one of these bad boys:
    http://jalopnik.com/5490236/the-nuclear-warhead-equipped-ekranoplan-soviet-invasion-machine

    Can’t you see that cruising around SF Bay?

  2. sfcitizen says:

    That’d be a challenge, trying to not crash into things…