Archive for the ‘billionaires’ Category

Free Advice for Mark Benioff, Who’s All Kinds of PR-Sensitive These Days – The “Ron Burgandy of Tech”

Friday, April 18th, 2014

Well, here it is:

The Benioff Doctrine – Marc Benioff has a message for his rich tech friends: Give back or get out. A candid conversation with the Salesforce CEO and philanthropic alpha dog.

Um, but I think Bill Gates is the philanthropic alpha dog, right? And others in the Bay Area have given more as well, and they did it, um, more quietly.

This is part of a coordinated push from Benioff’s PR people. One supposes the San Francisco Chronicle is too hostile a journalistic environment for this type of message, so San Fran Mag and the San Francisco Bidness Times will have to suffice

All right, here we go.

1. Don’t just look at the title, read all or part of this bit here:

Marc Benioff Is the Ron Burgundy of Tech

This is how others perceive you, MB. Is this perspective totally wrong? Is it from Crazy Town?

2. Now here’s MB in his own words:

They are using the Ellis Act during this unbelievable boom time, to toss everyday residents out of their homes. I think is unfair and I think it has to change. I think that our government, our industry leaders and everyday citizens — all three stakeholders — need to come together in a conversation and change that. I think these buses — which if you hang out in the Mission, [they come] every five minutes — they’ve got to be massively regulated, we have to get them off our streets”

All right, Mark. Well, why not just throw a couple hundred grand at every Ellis Act evictee in SF County? You could afford that, easily. I “call upon” you to do it, how’s that? And there’s a reason why we have the Ellis Act – it helps to make rent control constitutional. Do you know that, MB? And since when do you care about the Ellis Act, MB? You’re a follower and not a leader, huh MB? And since when are the streets of San Francisco your streets?

3. Here’s his 1-1-1 plan. Hey Mark, I call upon you to upgrade this to the 5-5-5 plan. C’mon! I’ll hector you the way you hector Zuck. Let’s dream into action. I’m the best person in philanthropy because I say I’m the best person in philanthropy! It’s as simple as that.

4. Sean Parker. Whoo boy, aren’t you supposed to temper the Billionaire Boys Club, Mark? Isn’t that your role? No, you’d rather add fuel to the fire, you’d rather encourage them?

“Amazing post by Sean Parker. One of the great visionary leaders of our time. I could not agree more with his view. http://techcrunch.com/2013/06/27/weddings-used-to-be-sacred-and-other-lessons-about-internet-journalism/

Here’s what you could have told Sean Parker, you could have told him that having a wedding like that in that location is HARD. It takes a lot of work, which is why most people don’t attempt something like that. But why do a half-assed job on it, why didn’t Sean Parker know enough to do things the right way? He’s not stupid, right? He just lacked perspective. Kind of like you, MB.

5. Mission Bay fiasco. Oh, that’s right, you’ve moved on, after all that bluster, you’ve moved on. Fair enough, enough said.

6. America’s Cup fiasco. Why not call upon your great pal Larry Ellison to pay our general fund about $11,000,000?

7 Twitter Enterprise Zone. Why not call upon Twitter to pay its taxes under the old rules? Shouldn’t Twitter “give back” as well?

Well, those are a few recent things ever since you became almost famous by giving big bucks to UCSF the first time. People applauded you for it, as did I. But you, Mark Benioff, aren’t the King of Philanthropy. Not yet, anyway.

So it’s sort of funny to hear you spout off like this.

That’s all.

(But oh, if you want to start doing something, why not start with Jimmy’s Old Car Picnic, which has recently been fee’d out of existence by the very government you so admire. Or why not do things like that in addition? You know, instead of criticizing those who don’t line up behind you like ducklings just because you ask them to?)

 

San Francisco’s Best Billionaire, Marc Benioff, Donates Half a Million for the 2012 Holidays – Marc and Lynne Benioff Foundation

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Marc Benioff > Larry Ellison.

Marc Benioff > Republican Ron Conway.

Am I right, people?

So who’s left?

Anyway, this is becoming an annual tradition for Lynne and Marc Benioff – deets below.

Standing in front of the half-billion UCSF Mission Bay children’s hospital with their name on the front:

Click to expand

All the deets, released this AM:

“Marc and Lynne Benioff are making the following donations:

· $250,000 to Catholic Charities CYO’s Star Community Home to provide temporary housing and assistance to families in need. This will be executed as a challenge grant, whereby contributions by the public to support Star Community Home will be matched dollar for dollar by the Benioffs, up to the amount of their gift.

· $230,000 to Hamilton Family Center’s First Avenues program to provide temporary rental subsidies to help at-risk families from becoming homeless.

· $70,000 to the San Francisco Chronicle’s Season of Sharing Fund to provide one-time temporary assistance to families experiencing unexpected crisis.

“Marc and I want to further our partnership with the City to break the cycle of homelessness for children and families in San Francisco,” said Lynne Benioff. “We hope that others will join us this holiday season to ensure the health and safety of every child in the City.”

For more information about the Catholic Charities CYO’s Star Community Home, go to: www.cccyo.org.

For more information about the Hamilton Family Services’ First Avenues program, go to:www.hamiltonfamilycenter.org.

Keep on keeping on, Marc and Lynne Benioff

Risky Business: What It’s Like to “Take The Lane” on Masonic Avenue While Cycling Downhill

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Going uphill, cyclists use the ridiculously wide sidewalks of poorly-designed Masonic Avenue, but going downhill, people don’t really have that option.

Click to expand 

There’s a reason why Masonic is here, why it’s a major north-south route. The alternatives for cyclists are a half-mile to the west (Stanyan) and a half-mile to the east (newly “improved” Divisadero with extra small lanes, which were sacrificed for an embiggened median).

Our City Family has a plan for changes, sometime, but it costs $30,000,000 per mile…

Recession, What Recession? San Francisco’s Very Own SalesForce.Com Continues to Kick Ass, Take Names

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

See?

Salesforce.com Announces Fiscal Second Quarter Results

First Enterprise Cloud Computing Company to Exceed $2.1 Billion Annual Revenue Run Rate

– Record Quarterly Revenue of $546 Million, up 38% Year-Over-Year

– Raises FY12 Revenue Guidance to $2.22 Billion – $2.23 Billion

– Deferred Revenue of $935 Million, up 37% Year-Over-Year

– Operating Cash Flow of $83 Million, up 9% Year-Over-Year

– Company Record 6,300 Net New Customer Additions

– Total Customers Rise to 104,000, up 21,600 or 26% Year-Over-Year

SalesForce saved our bacon, you know, after our somewhat misguided BioTech Uber Alles approach to Mission Bay bit the dust.

Plus, CEO and Fouder Marc Benioff just kicked in nine(!) figures to build a new UCSF Childrens Hospital.

See? What it will look like:

See you at DreamForce 2011!

And at that big concert too, the one with Alanis and will.i.am and Jay Leno and MC Hammer and

All the deets:

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 18, 2011 – Salesforce.com (NYSE: CRM), the enterprise cloud computing (http://www.salesforce.com/cloudcomputing/) company, today announced results for its fiscal second quarter ended July 31, 2011.

“We’re expecting over 40,000 people to register for Dreamforce which takes place in San Francisco later this month. It’s the cloud event of the year where attendees can learn how to supercharge their relationships with employees and customers using social, mobile and open cloud technologies,” said Marc Benioff, Chairman and CEO, salesforce.com. “We hope to see you there.”

Salesforce.com delivered the following results for its fiscal second quarter:

Revenue: Total Q2 revenue was $546 million, an increase of 38% on a year-over-year basis. Subscription and support revenues were $509 million, an increase of 38% on a year-over-year basis. Professional services and other revenues were $37 million, an increase of 44% on a year-over-year basis.

Earnings per Share: Q2 GAAP net loss per share was ($0.03), and non-GAAP diluted earnings per share increased 3% year-over-year to $0.30. These GAAP and non-GAAP results include a one-time charge of $0.04 per diluted share associated with the legal settlement disclosed in the Form 8-K filed on June 15, 2011. The company’s non-GAAP results exclude the effects of approximately $55 million in stock-based compensation expense, approximately $19 million in amortization of purchased intangibles, and approximately $3 million in net non-cash interest expense related to the company’s convertible senior notes. Non-GAAP EPS calculations are based on 143 million diluted shares outstanding during the quarter, including approximately 4 million shares associated with the convertible senior notes and warrants. GAAP EPS calculations are based on a basic share count of approximately 135 million shares.

Customers: Net paying customers rose approximately 6,300 during the quarter to finish at approximately 104,000. This was a quarterly record for the company. Since July 31, 2010, the company added 21,600 net paying customers, an increase of 26% on a year-over-year basis. As discussed on May 19, 2011, the company will no longer provide the customer metric on a quarterly basis, but expects to provide periodic updates on achievement of customer milestones in the future.

Cash: Cash generated from operations for the fiscal second quarter was $83 million, an increase of 9% on a year-over-year basis. Total cash, cash equivalents and marketable securities finished the quarter at approximately $1.3 billion.

Deferred Revenue: Deferred revenue on the balance sheet as of July 31, 2011 was $935 million, an increase of 37% on a year-over-year basis.

As of August 18, 2011, salesforce.com is initiating guidance for its third quarter of fiscal year 2012. In addition, the company is raising its prior full fiscal year 2012 revenue guidance and updating its projected full fiscal year 2012 GAAP and non-GAAP EPS guidance previously provided on May 19, 2011.

On it goes

(more…)

Who’s the Better Bay Area Billionaire: Is It Marc Benioff of SalesForce.com or Larry Ellison of Oracle?

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Well let’s see here, now of course, Marc Benioff of Salesforce.com is spending 8 figures to pay for the UCSF Children’s Hospital they’re building at Mission Bay right now.

See?

OTOH, Larry Ellison of Oracle wants us to pay him and give him land so that San Francisco can be forced to watch his little boat race:

Oh, wait, that’s not Larry Ellison, here he is, flipping off the competition as he sails by on his little boat.


“I win! I win! I’m King Larry.”

Hurray Larry! We all love you, Larry! All your ex-wives let you down, but it wasn’t your fault, Larry, it was all their fault, you’re the greatest, Larry!

Mmmm.

When Eric Cartman saved South Park he wanted just one reward – he wanted to play with his toy truck, but, also, he wanted another child to be forced to watch. See?


In this image, the toy truck is the America’s Cup, Cartman is Ellison, and Kyle back there, he’s the people of San Francisco, sold down the river, once again.

So, if you’re getting pressured to “donate” to Larry’s little boat race to “help the town” or whatever, that’s fine, do it if you want. You’ll be sure to get access to the “V.I.P.” tent or whatever and you’ll get some swag like a souvenir windbreaker or something, that’s fine.

Or, instead, you can do something real and donate to UCSF Mission Bay. (Last I heard, they needed something north of half a bil., all told)

It’s your choice.

Anyway, the results are in: Marc Benioff is the Better Bay Area Billionaire.

What Does Former Sponsor BMW Know About the America’s Cup That San Francisco Doesn’t?

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

Looks like BMW got out of the America’s Cup in the nick of time:

“On the design and engineering front, BMW engineers set new benchmarks in terms of intelligent lightweight design,” said Ralf Hussmann, General Manager BMW Sports Marketing and Brand Cooperation. “In winning the 33rd America’s Cup, we achieved all of our ambitious goals.*”

Let’s get a reading here:

Oh Larry, will you ever win?

*In response to your request for another dinner/movie, I’d just like to say that our evening at the Stonestown Olive Garden followed by that midnight showing of Harry Potter 7 set new benchmarks in terms of memorable evenings. You must agree that we’ve “achieved all of our ambitious goals,” so let’s see other people. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.

Resolved: The Organizers of Hardly Strictly Bluegrass 2010 Could Have Done a Better Job with Bicycle Parking

Friday, October 8th, 2010

Writer Matt Baume has a great follow-up today on What Went Wrong This Year Again with bicycle parking at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival 2010.

I don’t know, when I was there, tons of cars (or, more literally, tens of tons of cars) with Friends and Family passes were getting waived-through the NO BIKE ZONE on JFK, although, admittedly, this was early on. (I’m sure most of the Friends and Family people ended up parking closer to the Banjo Stage, where their tents were located.) 

And since We’re All About Safety and whatnot, what’s up with the gasoline-powered ClubCar drivers, how fast are they allowed to go on the dusty sidewalks of JFK? 20 MPH? 25 MPH? I don’t know.

All’s I know is that I couldn’t keep up with them when I was pedalling downhill on the slopey part of JFK. But I was able to enjoy the dust clouds they kicked up, the ones that spread all over JFK:  

Click to expand

And, HSB people, if you’ve cured the BICYCLE HAZARD by not letting bikes go through on JFK, then there is no more BICYCLE HAZARD, right? So what are the signs supposed to be telling people?

Now, I’m not one to criticize people or nothing, but if I were, I might say something about putting them ClubCars into speed-limited “golf-cart mode” next year.

And, HSB people, you have so much money, right? You’re swimming in resources. So why not put out some more bike racks next year? Just have them stretching to the horizon, you dig? T’wouldn’t cost that much at all…

Can’t Billionaire Philip Anschutz Afford a Few More Porta-Potties for Bay to Breakers 2009?

Sunday, May 17th, 2009

Hey, Colorado Billionaire Philip F. Anschutz! Did you the just run the Bay to Breakers footrace today, as you have so many times before? You’re like 70 years old and you’re clocking six-point-something-minute miles uphill and downhill? My grandmother would need to rest after just walking through the SoMA part of the course. DoOd, you’re a stud.

But what’s up with the race? I mean, you have/had an ownership interest in it, right? And you’re still the ”A” in AEG, I believe. So isn’t it YOUR race – isn’t that what people mean when they say B2B is “privately owned?“ Well, let’s take a look see:

What’s wrong with this picture? Each Porta-Pottie has like at least a dozen people waiting in line. You can’t afford to have enough?  FAIL! Click to expand:

Aren’t you a “B” as in “boy” billionaire? Let’s check your Wiki:

“Philip Frederick Anschutz (born 28 December 1939 in Russell, Kansas) is an American businessman and supporter of conservative Christian causes. With an estimated current net worth of around $7.8 billion, he is ranked by Forbes as the 31st richest person in the USA.”

Your race is undercapitalized? Just can’t afford an appropriate amount of temporary bathrooms?

Here’s the reverse angle:

And here’s the result of mismanagement of resources. See? It’s the other side of the toilets. Is this the end of the world? No, it’s not. But your Smitherseses from New Yawk at AEG always place 0% of the blame on themselves, and that’s not right.

(Not sure what’s up with this. Some people should behave better, of course. Oh well.)

Do you think that I’d ever dream of buying up a storied civic event in Colorado like Park County Cow Days or something? I wouldn’t even if I could. But if I did, I’d make sure there were enough Porta-Potties for all, incuding those melon farmers who didn’t bother to register, stealing MY MONEY!!! I’d say fix this issue, make it so, inform my banker of any additional needs. But that’s just how I roll. (I also wouldn’t impose big town San Francisco values on small town Colorado neither, like making nudity mandatory at Cow Days or requiring all the doods to kiss each other, or something.)

How do you roll, Philip? How will you be remembered after you escape this mortal coil? You know back in the day, San Francisco had a general vote to tell Andrew Carnegie to cram it with walnuts when he wanted to donate money for libraries about town. Well, good thing that election turned out the way it did in 1912, because the legacy of AC is a brace of Carnegie Libraries in San Francisco. Like this.

What’s your legacy going to be, Philip Frederick Anschutz? Becks and Posh moving to L.A., Narnia movies, and being the kind of guy who was too cheap to properly finance and manage the Bay to Breakers? 

Is that right?

Gotta make a change

For once in my life

It’s gonna feel real good

Gonna make a difference

Gonna make it right.

P.S. Thank you for not asking us to pay for your windpower projects, the way that Pickens guy is doing. Srsly.