Archive for the ‘crime’ Category

How the San Francisco Giants are LYING When They Say “Ticket Scalping is Illegal” in San Francisco

Friday, October 24th, 2014

C’mon focus, look at the sign, as seen this morning by Stanley Roberts of People Behaving Badly and KRON-TV

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Now it could be that this is what the San Francisco Giants organization wishes Police Code Section 869 would say, but this aint what it says.

Comes now SF Weekly writer Joe Eskenazi:

“…according to the police code cited on the sign (Good Ol’ No. 869) scalping is not strictly illegal: This is a code that prohibits folks from selling wares on the street without a peddlers’ permit. This means folks who sell their tickets online or out of their homes or offices are not violating the law. And your humble narrator was unable to find anything within the police code stating that people who buy wares from unlicensed peddlers are subject to arrest…”

So, Giants, why don’t you take these signs down, or change them? 

(more…)

Mid-Market Update: Marinello School of Beauty Declares WORLD’S SMALLEST DRUG-FREE ZONE – Just a Five Foot Radius

Monday, October 20th, 2014

This photo came from longtime SoMA resident Bluoz:

“New sign in the doorway of Marinello’s School of Beauty in Mid Market, San Francisco, where all this takes place

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He continues:

“Help us have four more years of this. Vote for Randy Shaw Jane Kim for District 6 Supervisor in San Francisco.”

High-Heeled Shoplifter Frogmarched by Three Paramilitary-Looking Dudes Through Area Whole Foods

Monday, October 20th, 2014

Past the ‘nanas, and the organic apples, and the avocados, five for five dollars:

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And then through the EMPLOYEE’S ONLY door next to the deli counter and then, no doubt, into a little room to play the latest episode of Let’s Make a Deal.*

This small store appears to be more heavily-patrolled than the Korean DMZ…

*I’m thinking a solemn promise to never again darken their door would carry some weight with the Whole Foods Police Squad, but that’s just a guess.

Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is… well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime**
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four

Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over

**”I saw this and it’s clever and cute, but I’m appalled by the ignorantly misunderstood lyrics. “My only weakness is a list of crimes” doesn’t even make sense. “My only weakness is a listed crime” puts the rest of the song in context, and provides a little history lesson about sexuality in England.”

Words You Don’t Want to Hear Shouted from Inside the Panhandle Park Bathroom: “Knife!” – “Protect Yourself!”

Thursday, October 16th, 2014

This is about as close as I usually get to the infamous half-million dollar bathroom that we paid for back in the aughts.

But it’s close enough to hear the following:

“Knife!”

“Trying to get myself clean!”

“Just trying to protect yourself!”

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Note that these dudes were conversing inside the women’s bathroom on the east side of the building.

One assumes somebody pulled out a knife, because he felt threatened.

On It Goes…

“Wi-Ki-Bi-Thi!” – Militant Cyclists Lounge About the Panhandle to Intimidate Clavicle-Breaking Robbers – “WE KILL BIKE THIEVES”

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Perhaps I’m jumping to contusions, but this large crew of aggressively-lounging bike riders certainly appeared to be trying to send a message to a pair of area bike robbers making the news lately.

Strike a pose:

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And what does that T-shirt say? It’s all, “WE KILL BIKE THIEVES.”* How charming!

(I’ve seen lots of bike meetups in the Panhandle, but usually people ride off or start picnicking. Instead, this crew just sat around and glared, for hours, kind of like the guy on my JetBlue flight to DC a couple weeks after 9/11, arms crossed, standing near the cockpit and just staring at everybody just waiting for somebody to try something.)

I’l tell you, I’ve ridden the Panhandle bike path thousands of times in the early morning hours, after zero-dark-thirty, and I’ve never seen or heard of anything like this. Similar attacks occurred on the McAllister bike route in the projects / projecty Friendship Village Apartments near Webster, about ten years back, purportedly with a “lead pipe” (that probably wasn’t made of lead, but anyway).

Who knows, perhaps news of this kind of meet-up will spread, through word-on-the-street, until it reaches ears of these strong-arm robbers.

In any event, this small series of crimes certainly now has the attention of the SFPD – we’ll see how it goes. I’ll tell you, it’d be nice to have a retired/out-on-disability cop monitoring a network of London-style, high-def** crime cameras for the night shift of Park Station, but I don’t see anything like that happening soon. Oh well…

*$35! Take an aggressive stance against rampant bike theft with this bold, reflective graphic statement”

**I suppose we already have a kind of video network, what with local business cameras on 24-7 plus the low-def SFPD cams, but this is nothing like the high-def cams what a town like Stockton***, CA has…

***The cops over in Stockton laugh, just laugh at the SFPD’s low-def crime cam setup. 

Electricity Parasite, 94117

Friday, October 10th, 2014

I see people like this all the time.

Poor devils:

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Myself, I got a couple of these (if necessary, though usually they are not) (and while we’re at it, one of these, too) for my years-old mobile, so you won’t catch me trying to look under your bus seat for an outlet or, as here, siphoning juice, the precious juice, from outside the Lucky Super.

Oh No, SFPD Chief Greg Suhr Bans Flair! – SF Weekly Covers “Sticker Purge” – Here’s What Excessive Flair Looks Like

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Well, here you go:

Sticker Shock: A Corporal Punishment Joke Triggers a Police Decal Purge by Joe Eskenazi @EskSF

“A goodly number of sports team decals, Grateful Dead imagery, shamrocks, college mascots, skateboard brand insignias, and family crests have since been disposed of.”

All right, now let’s see the kind of thing that wouldn’t survive a flair audit.

First, check out the stealie logo stuck on the magazine floorplate of this SFPD officer’s SIG Sauer P220 automatic. Is he assigned to Terrapin StationVia Xian:

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The above bit of flair could help to conveniently ID different mags, I suppose.

Now, check this out. What do you see?

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Can SFPD officers wear hoop earrings while OTJ?

The fashion police say NO:

“5JEWELRY AND ORNAMENTS (also see DGO 11.08, Grooming Standards). On-duty officers shall not wear jewelry or personal ornaments that are visible except:

a. A wristwatch.

b. A total of 2 rings that are consistent with officer safety. An engagement and wedding ring set will be considered as one ring.

c. A conservative tie bar or tie tack.

d. Female officers may, in addition, wear the following:

1. Hair clips or pins that match the color of the hair.

2. One ear post in each ear. The post must lie flush with the ear and be plain metal, gold or silver colored. The face of the post is not to have a diameter of more than three-eighths (3/8) inch. Nothing shall hang from the post.”

Moving on.

Hey look, the SFFD takes a different approach: Flair has been institutionalized.

This was on a ladder truck parked on Fulton in in front of the former “Gabin” prostitution house in the NoPA Western Addition:

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It’s bad-ass, as you can see.

Steal Your Face” or “Stealie” skull: Perhaps the best-known Grateful Dead art icon is a red, white, and blue skull with a lightning bolt through it. The lightning bolt skull can be found on the cover of the album Steal Your Face, and the image is sometimes known by that name. It was designed by Owsley Stanley and artist Bob Thomas, and was originally used as a logo to mark the band’s equipment.

And oh, feel free to get a tattoo with this logo, if you feel you’ve earned the right. I mean, they can’t take that away from you, correct?

OK, thanks for strolling down memory lane…

APAWToMV! The Attractive Pensive Alleged Watch Thieves of Mountain View, CA – Not the Best Photo, But Good Enough for an ID

Monday, October 6th, 2014

I’m thinking this Bay Area woman will be ID’ed for the Mountain Police Department in about five minutes

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Don’t Go Postal, Else the “Postal Police” Will Come and Get You With This Pontiac G6

Monday, September 15th, 2014

These days, the best you can hope for is a new car merely something like a G6, like a G6.

But in my day, the car brand Pontiac was still alive and it made actual G6 cars.

See? Perhaps they were rushing to meet up with the Mint Police

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And postal inspectors (they call themselves police? OK fine) still drive them around, apparently.

And those people on Oprah still drive them as well, I s’pose…

If You Think This Rec & Park Pickup Moved a Foot and a Half in These Two Photos, Then It Was Speeding in GGP

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Is there a 5 MPH speed limit for RPD vehicles on paved paths in the parks of SF?

I think so.

All right, here are the two photos – they were taken at least a sixth of a second apart, you kids do the math:

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Oh wait, Gentle Reader, I’ll do the math and I’ll do it without Roman numerals. Today’s lesson is brought to you by the numbers Nine, Five and Six:

Nine feet per second > Five miles per hour, right? [Trust me, Gentle Reader.]

And my aging SLR camera takes shots at Six frames per second maximum.

So Nine feet per second divided by Six frames per second equals one point five feet of movement per frame, exactly.

See how that works? If this truck can be seen to be moving more than 1.5 feet per frame then that means it was moving more than 9 feet per second and that means it was moving more than 5 MPH and that means that it was speeding per RPD policy, right?

I’ll note that this is the Panhandle “bike path,” which some people don’t even consider a part of Golden Gate Park – perhaps the rules are different here? IDK.

And perhaps “GPS records” would indicate that this truck was merely going 3 MPH. If that were the case, then I’d know that RPD was mistaken. Or lying. Again.

Your pick, Gentle Reader.

Of course, nobody died here and it’s not like this truck was going 15 MPH down the Panhandle bike path on a rainy night. But RPD workers violate RPD rules all the time, right? So, what to do?

Some race car drivers have a speed limiter button to use while pitting. As long as it’s engaged, then a racecar can’t go more than, say, 15 MPH or something, you know, for crew safety, even though the gas pedal is mashed all the way down. Could something like this work for the speeding workers of the RPD? IDK. Implementing a program like this would be expensive, but, of course, letting RPD workers speed along has been expensive and problematic and tragic (in many ways, in many ways) up ’til now, right?