Archive for the ‘crime’ Category

Don’t Go Postal, Else the “Postal Police” Will Come and Get You With This Pontiac G6

Monday, September 15th, 2014

These days, the best you can hope for is a new car merely something like a G6, like a G6.

But in my day, the car brand Pontiac was still alive and it made actual G6 cars.

See? Perhaps they were rushing to meet up with the Mint Police

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And postal inspectors (they call themselves police? OK fine) still drive them around, apparently.

And those people on Oprah still drive them as well, I s’pose…

If You Think This Rec & Park Pickup Moved a Foot and a Half in These Two Photos, Then It Was Speeding in GGP

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Is there a 5 MPH speed limit for RPD vehicles on paved paths in the parks of SF?

I think so.

All right, here are the two photos – they were taken at least a sixth of a second apart, you kids do the math:

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Oh wait, Gentle Reader, I’ll do the math and I’ll do it without Roman numerals. Today’s lesson is brought to you by the numbers Nine, Five and Six:

Nine feet per second > Five miles per hour, right? [Trust me, Gentle Reader.]

And my aging SLR camera takes shots at Six frames per second maximum.

So Nine feet per second divided by Six frames per second equals one point five feet of movement per frame, exactly.

See how that works? If this truck can be seen to be moving more than 1.5 feet per frame then that means it was moving more than 9 feet per second and that means it was moving more than 5 MPH and that means that it was speeding per RPD policy, right?

I’ll note that this is the Panhandle “bike path,” which some people don’t even consider a part of Golden Gate Park – perhaps the rules are different here? IDK.

And perhaps “GPS records” would indicate that this truck was merely going 3 MPH. If that were the case, then I’d know that RPD was mistaken. Or lying. Again.

Your pick, Gentle Reader.

Of course, nobody died here and it’s not like this truck was going 15 MPH down the Panhandle bike path on a rainy night. But RPD workers violate RPD rules all the time, right? So, what to do?

Some race car drivers have a speed limiter button to use while pitting. As long as it’s engaged, then a racecar can’t go more than, say, 15 MPH or something, you know, for crew safety, even though the gas pedal is mashed all the way down. Could something like this work for the speeding workers of the RPD? IDK. Implementing a program like this would be expensive, but, of course, letting RPD workers speed along has been expensive and problematic and tragic (in many ways, in many ways) up ’til now, right?

Tracking That Stolen Bike Owned by The Today Show: From The Mission to the Mid-Market to 1729 McKinnon Ave in The Bayview

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

I’ll tell you, I actually got around to watching that five-minute clip from the Today Show about bike thieves in the West Coast Capital of Bike Thievery, San Francisco.

And I says, “1729, huh?” You see, that was the street address on the front door that that Today Show guy knocked on. And they showed the street itself, so I guessed a 94124 zip code and then excluded the first two hits (1729 Geneva and 1729 Sunnydale because they both didn’t make sense) by making this Google search: “-Geneva -Sunnydale 94124 1729 .”

And, lo, up pops 1729 McKinnon in the Lower Third:

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It’s sort of funny how the bike thief made a bee-line to the Thieves Market at Civic Center – that’s what you could see when they showed the GPS track. Anyway, the next stop was a shed in the Bayview.

SF, you have a problem with bike theft – deal with it. Like, it’s national news, literally.

Nice: The Tenderloin Gets an Unofficial (Yet Official-Looking) Blue and White Sign for Tourists

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Bro was ON when he made this one

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Thx, badmonkey0001.

So many requirements!

Arrow pointing the direction from the sign to the district
White/grey text on a blue field with red accents (colors came from the spec if I remember)
Images of landmarks and/or features of the district on the left side of the sign
Name of the district written in US English with a native translation below
Signmakers marks in the lower right within the blue field
Relative dimensions (aspect ratio)
Location of mounting holes
Pattern and type of reflective material (which I imitated)
A border around the sign with a certain width (the grey border)

Illegally Riding Your Bike Across the World’s Most Expensive Span – Bay Bridge from Oakland to TI – Video

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

Stanley Roberts has the deets on this video from Davet Mohmmed:

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What It Looks Like When a Passerby Starts Climbing Up Our Chinese Consulate Building

Monday, September 1st, 2014

It looks like this:

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Bro* was like a monkey, a tall, lanky monkey. He made it up to this garage door roof with a quickness. I wouldn’t have thought that this would be so easy:

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I didn’t see where he went after that, but he was standing on the garage roof when I last caught sight of him. People with desks 20 feet above Geary might have been surprised to see him peering in, if they were working, which I don’t think they were, as this was Labor Day Weekend on the visa side of the compound, not the spycraft side of the compound

Speaking of which, here’s the scene last Saturday at the very same time on the Laguna side of the building – eight people were trying to figure out how best to fix the damage from that fire bomb attack perpetrated by a Chinese national earlier this year:

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It seems there’s always something going on at this place – protests, SFFD calls, numerous SFPD Bomb Squad calls, etc.

Oh Chinese authoritarian regime, will you ever win?

*Here’s his ninja shirt

The Death of Mi’yana Gregory: Grading Matier & Ross, the SFDA, the SPPD and Others

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

I suppose we as a society have all failed Mi’yana Gregory.

What can we learn from this?

m

Matier and Ross: A+

Continued excellence. They are the Un-Nevius. Before, I was wondering why the aunt was getting charged, but not anymore after reading that M&R piece. Speaking of CW Nevius, he would have taken the same info and came out with something maudlin and/or something packed with all his biases.

SFDA: A

All the DA’s office can do is process what the cops give them so it’s still a bit early, but this is the proper tone:

“It’s truly a tragic situation,” countered Alex Bastian, a district attorney’s spokesman. “However, we don’t make the facts – they come to us as they are.”

SFPD: B

If I know that that white Toyota product isn’t a Honda then so does the average SFPD cop, so it’s funny how the car’s initial description went out. Anyway, IMO, the horrible screen-grab photo from the video camera shows a 1990′s Lexus ES300, based upon what looks to be white on the taillights and also the dark-colored rocker panel (but I can’t really see what the C-pillar looks like and presumably the  SFPD has seen a bunch of other images from other cams on Mission). I still don’t think the car could be a 1992-1994 Camry but oh well. What makes it distinctive are the dark wheels and that was emphasized, so that’s good. Why not drive an old Camry down that same stretch of road at night and see if you can see any white at all on the taillights? Just asking.

StreetsBlog SF: C

Check it out, it reads like Pravda, Comrades. The term jaywalking is put in quote marks because, because…

Walk SF (aka That Chick From Punahou High): D

What you should do, when talking about this accident, is to talk about this accident. What you shouldn’t do is to ride your hobby horse all over the place.

Defense Attorney F:

The “real killer” defense didn’t work for OJ either, right? The cell phone issue really hurts your client, of course, but crossing through traffic with a couple two year olds at night on Mission is a tough job under any circumstance. Perhaps that’s a better angle than talking about happened after the fatal injury already occurred, The defense might want to think about that.

So that’s it so far. (If I were the SFMTA, I’d be wondering why yet another employee is up on charges for the death of a pedestrian. Why not emphasize safety in your operations, SFMTA, since you don’t seem to be all that interested in moving people around efficiently? Why don’t you give us something back in exchange for all that money we give you?)

Just as San Francisco Taxi Drivers Hate Uber, the SFPD Really Really Hates the Longtime “Patrol Special Officer” Program

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

Here’s the wiki entry.

And here’s what the SFPD has to say about Patrol Specials, below. I’ll note that the bolded parts are in the original, and really, that’s my whole point –  the bolded parts are what the SFPD wants to emphasize, in high relief, as if we, the General Public, are failing students who Just Don’t Get It.

Information: Patrol Specials

WHAT IS A PATROL SPECIAL OFFICER?

Patrol Special Officers and their Assistants are NON-SWORN private patrol persons and are NOT members of the San Francisco Police Department. The Police Commission appoints Patrol Special Officers and has oversight responsibility over the entire Patrol Special Program. Patrol Special Officers were created under the City Charter and are defined as private patrol persons who contract to perform security duties of a private nature for private persons and businesses within a geographical boundary set forth by the Police Commission.

WHAT ARE THE DUTIES OF A PATROL SPECIAL OFFICER?

Private businesses hire Patrol Special Officers to provide security services. They are private patrol officers who enter into a personal services contract with clients for security services. Typical responsibilities of a Patrol Special Officer’s include: unlocking or securing doors to a business, making checks of residences or businesses, conduct perimeter checks at burglar alarms, providing a physical presence at businesses and providing security consultations.

WHAT AREAS OF SAN FRANCISCO DO THESE OFFICERS PATROL?

Patrol Special Officer’s “Beats” are divided throughout San Francisco. A Patrol Special “Beat” owner can purchase the rights of a specific area to patrol. The purchasing process is regulated by the Police Commission and Police Department. All parts of San Francisco have Patrol Special “Beats”.

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The Least SFPD Cop-Looking SFPD Cop I’ve Ever Seen, I Think – What Kind of Police Uniform is This?

Monday, August 18th, 2014

So what’s this, yellow for visibility instead of SFPD blue? No seven-pointed star? No oro en paz, fierro en guerra screaming chicken on the shoulder patch, which I don’t know about since I couldn’t see any patch from the side anyway.

I’m forced to assume* that you’d be able to tell dude’s SFPD from the front.

Here he is, on Randy Shaw’s traffic sewer, the first block of troubled Turk Street, in the twoubled Twitterloin:

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I approve not, Gentle Reader.

*Or maybe he’s BART? I’m still not sure. In all my years, I’ve never had this much trouble ID’ing the SFPD.

This “McAllister Street Car Vandal” is Mesmerizing – Anyway, the SFPD is Looking for Him, Apparently

Friday, August 15th, 2014

Word on the street:

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Word to your mother.