Archive for the ‘food and drink’ Category

OMG, National Pancake Day is Coming to Your Local IHOP – FREE PANCAKES TUESDAY, March 3, 2015!

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

I’ll tell you, the last thing I need is free pancakes, but you, you deserve it.

Enjoy:

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I’ll tell you, I remember the first National Pancake Day. I saw the press release and told my uncle about it. So him and his buddy went to a local IHOP.

It went a little something like this:

So what would you like? 

Short stack.

Anything else? 

Nope.

Anything to drink?

Just water, thanks.

And then, they hopped on their road bikes and went to next IHOP and then they spent the rest of the day IHOP-hopping for the free pancakes and I think they stopped by a 7-11 for a 99-cent Big Gulp of diet soda and that was their day.

(And I asked him if they left any donations. Apparently, they did not.)

Remarkable!

ASSIGNMENT DESK: “Corrective Education Company” Now Operates in SF – Shoplifters Pay $320 to Take Course, Avoid SFPD

Friday, February 27th, 2015

Gentle Reporter, get a load of this, from Slate*:

Let’s Make a Deal – A startup helps stores like Bloomingdale’s and Whole Foods give suspected shoplifters a choice: Pay $320, or we’ll call the cops. By Leon Neyfakh

CEC is straight outta Texas, as is Whole Foods, you dig? Well guess where the shopliftingest Whole Foods in all Christendom is located – that’s right, at Haight and Stanyan. Oh, here it is. I’ll tell you, this woman, you can barely see her** here, stood out amongst the shoppers even before she got frogmarched past the deli counter by four(!) dudes:

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So what happened? WF checked its records, checked her for warrants and then set her up with CEC?

“Enquiring” Minds Want To Know.

Here’s what you do, you contact WF and/or the other bidnesses cited by Leon, and then somebody at the SFPD, and maybe somebody at the DA’s office, and then of course Jeff Adachi, you know, for the outrage, and then an actual CEC graduate, and THIS ONE WRITES ITSELF.

*Wow, “alleged” shoplifters, Slate? Like the paramilitaries at Whole Paycheck*** frogmarch away the wrong shoppers all the time? Well, if something like that happens to you, Gentle Reader, then you should tell WF, “I’ll take my chances with the SFPD,” right?

**Purple stockings over tattoos, huge clunky heels, clip clop clip clop…

***I don’t spend a great deal of time at WF but I’ll tell you, man, they have cheaper prices now, like they’re trying to match TJ’s, on organic milk, for example. I applaud.

Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is… well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime**
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four

Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over

I saw this and it’s clever and cute, but I’m appalled by the ignorantly misunderstood lyrics. “My only weakness is a list of crimes” doesn’t even make sense. “My only weakness is a listed crime” puts the rest of the song in context, and provides a little history lesson about sexuality in England.”

Forget About $4 Toast, Here’s a $16 Burrito from a Food Truck in the Financial

Thursday, February 19th, 2015

How far have taco trucks traveled from their original Mission!

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KomeTruck, aka rice truck:

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Cf. JapaCurry

The Perpetually Wet and Smelly Alley Behind the Michelin-Starred Michael Mina Restaurant Gets a Boost from This Fellow

Thursday, February 19th, 2015

Let’s call this place 50 Halleck, 94111.

This fellow took his full 21 seconds to wetten the ground in the Michael Mina delivery area, with an enviable flow and velocity, just whip it out in the middle of the street:

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Hurray. Hurray for Halleck!

Feel free to travel from the front room at Michael Mina on California through the kitchen to its back door on Halleck, but do it slowly, else you’ll get the Bends

Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream at Haight and Ashbury Doesn’t Trust Us to Not Steal Their HAIGHT and ASHBURY Signs

Wednesday, February 18th, 2015

These signs are held in place by the world’s tiniest padlocks – you can see one on the right:

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That’s not too groovy, is it, man?

The Semi-Secret Parking Spaces for Trader Joe’s Masonic Shoppers

Tuesday, February 17th, 2015

Here you go, a place to park on Masonic for free while shopping at TJ’s #100, right in front of the Lucky Penny, assuming it’s not between 3:00 PM and 7:00 PM:

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Sometimes the Great Line of idling cars goes almost all the way back to Euclid, so this option certainly seems preferable.

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Just saying

Cake Tableau: Lucky Supermarket in the Western Addition Takes a Surprisingly Pro Seattle Seahawks Stance

Friday, January 30th, 2015

These were all the cakes on display, not a Niners or Patiots cake in sight:

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United Nations Plaza Update: These Naughty Grannies are _Still_ Selling Food Given to Them for Free and Meant for Hungry People

Thursday, January 29th, 2015

They used to hang out on Market near 7th, but now they’ve been pushed north, closer to the Tenderloin Crime Containment Zone:

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This is what happens when you give food to a food bank.

Oh well.

North Korea’s “Dear Leader” Lords Over the Fulton and Masonic Starbucks

Monday, January 26th, 2015

Or is it the Great Leader?

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I can’t tell.

Forget About 40’s, Anchor Steam Beer Has 50’s: SF Giants World Series Victory 2014 Magnum

Monday, January 19th, 2015

Or 1.5 litres, if you prefer:

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