Archive for the ‘media’ Category

MANSPLAINER: Uh No, Conde Nast, Barack H. Obama Was Not the 44th President of the United States – IRL, 44 was 43rd

Tuesday, October 17th, 2017

(Mansplaining is telling stuff to ppl who didn’t ask you to tell them the stuff you’re telling them, right?)

So Conde Nast, I’ll just note that my man Stephen Grover Cleveland was both 22 and 24, so that means that 44 was 43rd, non?

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And DJT 45 is 44th.

One Simple Trick, huh?

And I know, you didn’t ask me to tell you. Sry.

But TMYK 🌈

(People ask me where I saw this. I think it was at the Lucky. But it’s gone now, long gone. A collector’s item in this Day and Age, I’m afraid.)

Freeway vs. Highway – Libel vs. Slander – Shotgun vs. Rifle – Accident vs. Collision – Blog vs. Post – Jumbo Jet vs. Regular – Gas vs. Fuel

Monday, August 7th, 2017

We’re in Cali, right? So you know what a freeway is. So don’t call a freeway a “highway.” In California, a highway is any old street. For example:

CVC 21201 (d) A bicycle operated during darkness upon a highway…”

This use of highway in this context means any public street. I guarantee it. (But you can ride your bike on many sections of California freeway – see below.) So you can’t say that Frisco only has two highways (but if you do, people will know you mean freeway through context, I guess.)

What I’m saying is that you use highways to get to a freeway, how’s that?

Libel and slander don’t necessarily mean what you think they mean 100%, sry. Your rule of thumb will keep you out of trouble almost all of the time, but things can get tricky when you get down into the weeds. So yes, you’ve got the dictionary definition right, but there can be exceptions, the same way the duck-billed platypus is an egg-laying species but also a mammal. The solution is defamation and defamatory. 

Let’s try it out. “Dear Sir, your words are defamatory. I shall contact my solicitor to begin an action for defamation.” That works, baby. (Or, you can call yourself an “editor” of an online entity what’s called “Beyond Chron” and then threaten to sue the real Chronicle. Like you’ll say “I’ll consider my options” of suing the real Chronicle for defamation, something like that. And then people will chuckle because they know you’ve already decided not to sue our local paper of record.)

And really, this difference doesn’t really matter. It’s like what’s a fruit and what’s a vegetable. There’s no reason to get into the distinction most of the time.

(But feel free to mock those who confuse these terms, or use the term “liable,” – I won’t take that away from you.



Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference betwixt a shotgun and a rifle, especially from far away. So the term you use is long gun. Easy peasy. I saw the use of this term exactly once in our local Paper of Record, and I thought, wow, that’s how you do it. But then the hed was changed an hour later, presumably because readers were confused. Or maybe the issue had been cleared up by then, IDK.

Another thing is that a rifle can kill you from 500+ yards away and a shotgun can’t.

An accident is something what occurs not on purpose and a collision is when two or more things hit each other, more or less. (And let’s not get into allision.) But you see, they’re not really substitutes for each other. Sometimes collisions are accidental and sometimes accidents involve collisions. Most accidents involving cars are the result of negligence and some are the result of recklessness. Most bike accidents are the result of pilot error, you know, just falling down, but some involve hitting or getting hit by a car and that may or may not be the bicycle rider’s error. You need to look at each case to find fault.

Now if a tennis pro who’s into crystals starts running people over on purpose in the Mission, well, that’s not an accident, but later on you might say that you have a trick knee now due to a traffic accident even though this guy targeted you, that’d be OK. If you have reason to believe that some car crash was committed on purpose, you can say, “That was no accident.” And then it could be attempted homicide or vehicular manslaughter or battery – it could be a lot of things, but not an accident. Anyway, if a collision was the result of negligence or recklessness, then it quite rightly can be called an accident. (And of course, I’m more of a San Francisco bike rider and more of a San Francisco pedestrian, measured any way you would like, by miles, hours, years, decades on these streets of San Francisco, than anybody who harps on you about the difference between accident and collision. Think on that.)

A blog is a weB LOG – it’s the whole enchilada. A single entry into a blog is called a post. I am astounded at the number of people who don’t get this, even after a quick mansplaining. So, the post is the tree and the blog is the forest that the tree is in.

Now one time some lady who got rich off the Chron, through marriage I guess, paid some lawyer to send me a long-winded letter about how I was going to get sued for slander libel, ah defamation, that’s that ticket. Now he was only writing me concerning one post, but his demand was for me to take down my blog, you know, which at that time was made up of thousands and thousands of posts. You see, he was confused. (And then he said I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody about this matter, so of course I posted his letter on my blog the next day. (In poker terms, this is called going over the top.) Good times. And I kept the offending post up, ’cause it was all good. And of course I never got sued IRL. You gotta know how to handle Trump-like individuals, know how to call their bluffs.)

A jumbo jet is a Boeing 747, mostly. You can also throw in the Airbus A380 – now some call it a superjumbo, but you can also call it a jumbo. Both of those aircraft are also widebodies, with twin aisles. And narrowbodies have just one aisle, typically with five or six seats per row. Moving down, you’ve got your regional jets and your corporate jets and then your general aviation jets. That’s it.

Oh, there are some widebodies that aren’t jumbos, like the Boeing 777, that can carry more passengers than a smaller jumbo, like the comical-looking 747SP. Certainly this stubby jet is huge, it’s just so short that it went obsolete pretty quickly. So then along came larger and larger twinjets with only a single deck, but they end up having more capacity than a “jumbo.” Oh well. I didn’t make the rules, I just ‘splain them on my blog.

And if you aren’t sure, never say gas, say fuel. This will keep you out of trouble.

So a military tank might run on gas, but most likely not. The same thing with vessels. And some cars run on diesel of course, Usually, there’s no reason to be specific.

FIN

And here are some of your bikes operating legally on freeway areas, one in San Mateo County and the other in Marin:

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Good-Bye Old School News Racks – Or Hello – Can’t Really Tell

Friday, April 21st, 2017

Most of this type of news rack were put out of business by the new-school green monster “pedmount” racks that became popular for some reason.

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Attention Media: Let’s Play the WHAT KIND OF BULLDOZER IS THIS Game – The Lexicon of Heavy Equipment

Thursday, January 26th, 2017

Hello Media, you mythical monolith. Check it, this is NOT a “bulldozer.”

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So don’t call it that, m’kay? OK, so what is it IRL? Well, there are a lot of choices. How about loader or skid loader or skid steer loader or front loader (sort of) or front end loader (sort of)?

If you want, just email me your “bulldozer” photos and I’ll respond to give you the real name. Alternatively, you could ask somebody what that thing is called. Or you could use more generic terms like equipment or earth mover or vehicle or something like that.

(Also, try to be more careful when you’re talking about firearms and airplanes and other subjects you know nothing about.)

Don’t be so specific is what I’m saying

“Retired” SF Chronicle Writer CW Nevius Errs When Relating a Story About How He Errs – Let’s Go To The Videotape!

Friday, December 16th, 2016

Well, not really videotape. But anyway, here it is:

Let’s note a few things.

1. Uh, how many times does our Board of Supervisors issue a proclamation when somebody leaves the Chronicle? Who was behind this proclamation? Would most journalists be so proud to be honored for years of fawning coverage?

2. Did Supervisor John Avalos really go on a “rant?” And didn’t the topic have to do with Chuck, you know, purportedly, misquoting Avalos?

3. Did John Avalos really “slam” his microphone down? (I don’t know for sure, but I didn’t see it. Of course, neither did Chuck. Maybe I’d say Avalos pushed down or turned off the mic?)

4. Hey, did Peaches Christ really do that thing with the purported dildo?

5. Hey, I could go on and on. And he’s not even being honest when he says, well, that’s how I look at things. I’ll leave you with this, Gentle Reader – two bits on the wasteful expensive Central Subway. One, written before City Hall told Chuck how to feel and the other after. He was like Donald Trump on the Twitter, contradicting himself, seemingly without without realizing, and certainly without acknowledging…

Nevius: Chinatown subway plan makes me wince” – February 21, 2008

“There’s really only one question to ask about the proposal to bore a light-rail subway deep under the heart of downtown San Francisco. You’re kidding, right?

“Just the initial math makes your head hurt. Basically it works out to somewhere between $1.22 billion and $1.4 billion for an underground railway that runs for less than two miles and has only three stops. That’s not a transit system, it’s a model railroad.

“Throw in a few of the inevitable cost overruns and this could work out to a billion dollars a mile.”

“No matter. This is the kind of big, splashy project that city officials love to put their name on.”

“Basically, the argument seems to boil down to this – we’ve got the money (as if federal tax dollars grow on trees), the Chinatown community is behind it, why not build it? Oh, let me count some of the reasons.”

“But, critics say, a stop on Market beneath which BART and other Muni lines already run might have made this whole thing an easier sell. That would have created an opportunity for a single station where riders could make connections between regional and local trains, almost like Grand Central Terminal in New York. Instead, riders will have to walk all the way up to Union Square.”

“Oh, and did I mention that in order to get under the BART tube, the subway station at Union Square will have to be at least 95 feet below the surface. That’s nine stories.”

“What is it about that image of deep, underground dirt-munching machines in earthquake country that makes me wince?”

 

S.F.: City of whine aficionados” – January 9, 2014

“A subway will take traffic off some of the busiest streets in the city – try riding Muni on Stockton Street in the morning – and provide quick north-south access across the city, and it’s mostly paid for with federal funds. Who wouldn’t like something like that?”

A “Special Edition” Magazine from Conde Nast: BARACK H. OBAMA, THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES – Will Trump Get One in 2020?

Monday, December 12th, 2016

You know, if he makes it that far?

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IDK.

IDTS.

19 Points About CW Nevius

Thursday, December 1st, 2016

Retirement” looms.

How San Francisco’s progressives overreached

  1. “Progressive wing of San Francisco’s Democratic Party”

Chuck should just use the terms left of center and right of center, but he doesn’t and here’s why this is a problem. It’s ’cause, especially lately, people in the more dominant “wing,” what he calls the moderates, self-identify as progressive.

2. “The beginning of a Golden Age of politics for the far left”

So see how that works? What he should call the left he calls the far left because he’s not part of it  – instead he’s a member of the dominant political faction. Also, this is what you call a straw dog. Who was promising a golden age for the far left? Exactly nobody.

3. “Tenderloin Housing Clinic Director Randy Shaw”

Oh that guy – here’s the link that Chuck et. al. can’t see clear to link to. Of course Randy Shaw, cited positively by Chuck, inconveniently defines what Chuck would call a moderate as a progressive. “Every time I update this race between two progressive candidates (Josh Arce and Hillary Ronen)…” See?

4. “Julie Christensen”

So Chuck literally went on the campaign trail for this woman, and she lost, badly. Hey Chuck, perhaps you yourself “overreached?” (Last year, he seemed a lot more optimistic about her chances.)

5. “Tea-leaf readers”

No identification, yet another straw dog to slay.

6. “Lee’s poll numbers fell”

Yes, but well before the Super Bowl corporate party. A fact checker could have checked this. It’s checkable, right?

7. “The left reminded everyone…”

Once again, not identified.

8. “Progressive hold on the Board of Supervisors is no sure thing.”

Gee, did anybody say that the slim majority was a “sure thing,” either before or after the recent election? No, not at all.

Anyway, Donald Trump tweets his thoughts just as CWNevius published his thoughts in the Chronicle / SFGate. But there’s not too much of a solid connection to reality for either I’m afraid. Moving on…

Gavin Newsom has a head start on higher office

9. “A deep bench of vibrant new talent…”

Is this journalism, applying this to Gavin? And just as Marge Simpson got the recipe for her special fruit punch from the Fruit Punch Advisory Board…

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…Chuck simply adds sugar, water, and ice to whatever he gets from the Gavin Newsom Advisory Board. Bravo, Chuck. Bravo.

10. “A few off-putting characteristics of the early Newsom”

Uh, was this a complete listing, ’cause I think a lot of stuff was left out there. I mean not just this.

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But other stuff too.

It goes on and on.

And on and on. For some reason, Chuck used his MSM platform to rewrite history, oh well. I guess he was doing a favor for somebody. (Wonder how he’ll get repaid.)

11. “I have to put in a plug for..”

What is this, a press release? Sure seems that way.

12. “Newsom has always been a policy wonk.”

Uh, nope. Also checkable. Moving on…

…to this:

After 36 years at Chronicle, it’s time to move on

13. “The Chronicle sent me all over the world to cover eight Olympic Games, 10 Super Bowls and other major sports events.”

I think this is the major problem – it’s having a died-in-the-wool sports reporter covering politics.

14. “When people ask why I am leaving…”

Not “retiring,” huh? I’m sure he can find some other way to make money and pass the time. Mmmm, I wonder who could help him with that…

Oh wait, here’s another one:

Thanksgiving and a journalist’s memories of 36 years

15. “Mayor Ed Lee, who didn’t want the job in the first place.” 

Is this really true? If he didn’t want the job, then why did he take it? If the plan was that he’d be an “interim” Mayor, then why did he lie about it and stay on? (He was appointed Mayor because Gavin Newsom decided he wouldn’t leave town to start his new gig on the date what’s burned into our constitution, oh well.) Anyway, take a look at the first Gavin video above to see how an access journalist* like Chuck gets born. The sucking up gets going fast and furious, and sometimes things you used to mock become oh so wonderful.

16. “I came here in 1980…”

Well, actually he came here in 2010 – spent most of his time, a couple decades or so, far off in an east bay bedroom community, NTTAWWT. But that’s prolly where he’d be more, uh, comfortable.

17. “He’s not such a bad guy…”

Totally not the issue. You just should have fucking done your job better, that’s all. You know, after you were done with the sports.

Almost finished here, like forever, just one more:

David Talbot comes to The Chronicle: A note to our readers

18. “Routinely championing the underdog”

Strong disagree about applying this to Chuck here. (An “underdog,” like Mario Woods, for example?)

19. “Provoke and inspire”

Oh, this was Chuck’s mission statement, to troll Frisco? News to me. But perhaps not surprising. And “inspire,” what?

20 (BONUS!). “His book ‘The Devil’s Chessboard: Allen Dulles, the CIA and the Rise of America’s Secret Government’ was a New York Times bestseller.”

Wow, man, this is what David Talbot is doing lately? Well that’s different. Let’s hope he keeps his column local and steers clear of national topics, cause this JFK-conspiracy/cover up-leads-directly-to-President-Trump is a little out there. (IRL, Oswald had a thing about shooting at authority figures, like General Walker, and with the same rifle JFK, and then with a handgun Officer Tippit, all in 1963, all by his lonesome. This is true whether DT writes a book about the CIA or RFK or whatever, or not.) But that’s another can of worms.

Anyway, I’m thinking most of the big errors in the Chronicle came from CW Nevius, so if he’s happy leaving this seems like a win-win.

Good.

P.S. Sometimes the transit cops keep working even though it’s dinner time, so let’s try to pay for _all_ our MUNI fares in future, even if we consider ourselves big shots, OK? ‘Cause this isn’t a good look.

*And it’s not just that. He’d then go to mindlessly cheer lead for whomever was feeding him tidbits of news. So, writing from Walnut Creek, CA or wherever he’s all, Holding the America’s Cup race in San Francisco is a wonderful opportunity without a downside. It is a win-win that will bring cargo bags of cash to the Bay Area and revitalize the southern waterfront.” And the plan back then was to have an America’s Cup here every three or four years. But after the inevitable “downsides” came along one after the other, SFGov decided it didn’t want to play ball with Larry Ellison after all. And who was slavishly following along for a good half-decade? One CW Nevius. And then, after Larry Ellison “abandoned” us, we got this last year:

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#rubbingitin  Can’t confirm this is Larry Ellison’s boat but if so kinda rude to fly Bermuda flag. Site of next Am Cup”

So it goes from here-just-take-our-land-with-99-year-leases, Larry to Larry-does-everything-wrong. But Larry wasn’t being “kinda rude” as that’s not his yacht, and that’s not the “Bermuda flag,” and even if it was you can’t just jump to conclusions / read into things like this. Sorry Chuck. (It’s actually a great thing that Larry took his little boat race Someplace Else – let’s focus on the positives, m’kay?)

KPIX Solves Global Warming – I’ve Never Seen This – Idle Idle Idle All the Live-Long Day

Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

How on Earth does this help?

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This truck was parked right outside of Black Rock Battery, so couldn’t it use shore-side power ala the Port of Frisco?

Local Papers Bully the San Jose Mercury News on Market

Wednesday, July 27th, 2016

Poor little feller:

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