Archive for the ‘media’ Category

Media Corner: Mansplaining How to Calculate the Percentage Increase of Your Rent – It’s Easy!

Tuesday, March 17th, 2015

Here’s what kicked things off:

SAN FRANCISCO TENANT FACING 400 PERCENT RENT INCREASE

Now I’ll tell you, I wouldn’t even dream of mentioning slight errors such as these to our touchy, touchy local press corpus. I mean, if they liked numbers, they’d have gone to bidness school and gotten an MBA, right?

Anyway, beloved gadabout Todd Lappin went there, right here.

“Math factcheck please: What is the % increase from 2145 to 8900?”

Well, let’s fix this sitch once and for all:

Here you go – it’s easy!

IMO, people oughtta say “a big increase” if that’s what they mean – there’s no reason to be so precise if you’re going to get it wrong, right?

The Simple Joy of Playing Your First Round of Street Tetherball in the Western Addition Northeast of the Panhandle

Monday, March 16th, 2015

Look for San Francisco Chronicle writer and long-time east bay resident CW Get Off My Lawn Nevius* to decry this type of vandalism, you know, after getting contacted, once again, by Yet Another SFGov Department Head.

Oh, our youth, won’t somebody please decry our youth, won’t somebody please harp against the externalizes they generate while consistently ignoring the externalizes generated by older people, such as our Favorite Writer From The East Bay. Oh well, more street clean-up work for DPW:

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Ah, memories:

“[Appointed Mayor Ed] Lee has placed Nuru in charge of a city department with a $129 million city budget and 1,200 employees, despite Nuru’s proven history of directing his subordinates to illegally campaign for his mayoral benefactors. You couldn’t even make this stuff up, and even Examiner columnist Melissa Griffin flatly calls the move “stupid.”

Moving on…

Oh, here’s a graphic for Chuck:

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Perhaps CWNevius is overcompensating for his and his generation’s crimes of the past?

Mmmm…

*And that’s just the past month!

Advice for Newcomers: Here’s Why the Rent’s Cheaper Out in the West Side, Out in The Avenues, in The Sunset and The Richmond

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015

So I don’t get this bit about The Avenues, this little ditty that’s all about informing supposed “misinformed newcomers,” ’cause it’s coming from the greatest Misinformed San Francisco Newcomer of all: Gannett Co. Inc’s The Bold Italic, a blog about the SF Bay Area and, oddly, Los Angeles too, a little bit.

I’ll tell you, I know all about the Richmond and Sunset Districts. I’ve actually lived out there, believe it or not, during part of my quarter-century in the City and County (but mostly the City) of SF. And, I’ll tell you, these quite similar areas have their good points, but also they have their bad points.

And one, just one, of these bad points is the Avenues are cut off from the rest of the city, owing to geography. And this fact isn’t helped by our famously-horrible transit system (which might at some point get better, like a BART subway to La Playa or something) but also our poorly-designed network of roads (which is congested already, by design, and is only going to get slower, by design). Things are so bad out there that bike riders are tempted use streetcar-only tunnels to get back to the City Proper.

And then there’s the fog issue, which isn’t going away no matter what. Some people living out there claim it doesn’t really exist. But it does, I knows it.

And then there’s the concomitant ironic naming issue. Let’s start with The SUNset District. Cover your eyes, avert your gaze, West Bay residents:

“If you start at the Bay Bridge and head west along most major streets in San Francisco, you’ll eventually get to a magical land of misery known as the Sunset. The name is a joke, and perhaps even a way to trick tourists: The sun rarely visits the Sunset, not even when it sets. The primary weather element in the Sunset is fog—thick, endless, depressive clouds of it that wash up from the ocean to completely saturate the land. I lived in the Sunset for a single, terrible year. Before I moved there, I used to be one of those snobby city-dwellers who’d look down on suburbanites who couldn’t handle San Francisco’s famously capricious climate. I’d heard the Sunset’s weather wasn’t great, but hey, how bad could it be?

It was bad. Too bad for me; after our lease was up, my wife and I moved to the suburbs. Looking back, what bothered me most wasn’t the terrible climate—though I did hate it—but the vast difference between the Sunset’s weather and the weather everywhere else. Whatever meteorological patterns applied in normal parts of San Francisco didn’t seem to apply to the Sunset, which meant that forecasts for the city held no sway there. If the weatherman said it was going to be 80 and sunny, it was probably 55 and cloudy at my house.

And now, let’s move on to The Richmond District:

“Did the sand dunes in the northwest corner of the city look like Richmond, Australia? One story for the naming of the district is that early settler George Turner Marsh thought so, and named the area around his home such. (Other sources credit a neighborhood booster named George Fletcher for suggesting the name.)”

I’ll tell you, the average daytime temperature in Richmond, Victoria [not the other Richmond in NSW, which is prolly even hotter], Australia these days is 84 degrees freaking Fahrenheit – isn’t it ironic, dontcha think?

So, transportation and climate are just two reasons why rents are lower Out There in The Outer Lands, in the Great Sand Waste, you know, in comparison with the City Proper.

I could go on and on, and, as a matter of fact, I have, and it pisses some people off. Sorry. I just don’t understand why certain people are so defensive about where they live.

So enjoy your pride, Avenues People…

inner20sunset

…but please don’t mislead those “misinformed newcomers,” as you call them.

Especially if you yourself is a well-financed but struggling start-up blog hailing from a Fortune 500 company out of Northern Virginia…

What’s This, the Sunday San Francisco Chronicle Costs “Only $3.00?”

Tuesday, December 30th, 2014

I could do without the “only” part, frankly.

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What’s that, it costs $10 to make a Sunday paper and get it to you, the Reader? Yeah, maybe, something like that.

But even so, I could do without the “only” part.

Frankly

Cowboy Pilots, Air Safety and the Metric System: A Modest Defense of Fox News on AirAsia Flight QZ8501

Monday, December 29th, 2014

So cue the outrage here.

I don’t watch the cable TV news myself, but here are a few points:

1. American-style measurements are all over the aviation industry, like measurement of speed (in nautical miles per hour) and altitude (in feet). Pilot confusion with differing measurement systems has killed passengers and crew IRL.

2. And yes, international travel isn’t as safe as domestic travel, for a host of reasons. American pilots have better training, on average, and they have an easier job of it, not having to deal with the Intertropical Convergence Zone and Russian paramilitaries, for starters. Not a single passenger has died due to a crash on a domestic flight on a large (we’re talking about something bigger than a private jet or a regional airliner) jet since 9/11. And if you want to talk about international flight on 100+ seat jets either going to or coming from America, we’ve lost a total of three passengers (on an Asiana flight at SFO) since 2001, that horrible year.

3. And the thing about cowboys – that’s a reference to the Boeing / American approach to automation vs. the Airbus / international approach. So a “cowboy” pilot has greater power to do something stupid, but also a greater ability to get out of trouble. A “cowboy” is more likely to have military experience. A cowboy is the opposite of a “college boy.” Oddly enough, the computer-assisted cowboy and cowgirl pilots are doing better, on average, than the auto pilot-reliant college boys and girls.

The job of these hosts is to be appealing (by looking good in a suit or a fuchsia(?) minidress(?), to look somber (due to the tragedy) and to goad the invited expert into saying what s/he knows in an interesting way. Seems as if they were getting that job done.

So yeah, asking about the metric system sounds like a stupid question, I’ll agree. But everything the hosts were talking about comes from real life, it comes from someplace. It’s not just Fox News waving the flag.

IMO.

So laugh at Fox if you want, but they’re doing their job better than Jezebel / Isha Aran is doing its job of debunking Fox News. And, bonus, Fox News consulted an expert and Jezebel, which doesn’t know much about aviation, did not.

So, Fox News 1, Jezebel 0.

Wow, 8th Grader from Marin County Teaches KTVU About the Dangers of Live TV – A New Meme – Double NSFW

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

Wow, this post from Amy Graff of the Mommy Files is pretty edgy for SFGate.com, huh?

A well-chosen headline:

“Local boy video bombs news reporter at Giants parade with offensive phrase”

And a nice quote:

”Now, my 8th grade son and the rest of his friends are praising him as a hero: ‘He’s got millions of likes/views! He is famous on the Internet!’”

Remember, this is NSFWX2. Keep a look out for the squirrely kid on the right. (The advantage this video has is that it’s title doesn’t have bad words in it.)

Does KTVU use a five-second delay or something, on their live broadcasts?

IDK.

Sympathy for the Landlord Who Inherited the Apartment You Rent: Writer CW Nevius Cries a River over Rent Control

Thursday, October 30th, 2014

HERE ARE JUST TEN OR SO THINGS WRONG WITH THE LATEST EFFORT FROM CW NEVIUS:

“Real estate attorney Elizabeth Erhardt has an incredibly unpopular outlook. She’s sympathetic to San Francisco landlords. And before being drowned out by a chorus of boos and hisses…”

THIS MIGHT COME AS A SURPRISE TO THE NEVIUS, BUT THIS “OUTLOOK” IS NOT “INCREDIBLY UNPOPULAR.” HOW ABOUT SOMEWHAT UNPOPULAR, YOU KNOW, INSTEAD?  STRIKE ONE

“They inherited a…. It’s her sole source of income.”

SO NEVIUS, YOU COULDN’T FIND ANY RICH SAN FRANCISCO LANDOWNER WHO DIDN’T INHERIT PROPERTY? EVERYBODY YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE GOT THEIR LAND FOR FREE WITH A STEPPED-UP BASIS, AND AT LEAST ONE IS LANDED GENTRY WITHOUT A J-O-B? WHAT IS THIS, ANOTHER EPISODE OF DOWNTON ABBEY? IT’S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP (LAND)LORD? DON’T YOU SEE THIS AS A PROBLEM FOR YOUR HARD-LUCK LANDLORD STORIES HERE? STRIKE TWO

“Oh come on, you say. Subletting without the landlord’s permission is illegal. Just toss them out.”

FIRST OF ALL NEVIUS, SUBLETTING WITHOUT THE LANDLORD’S PERMISSION ISN’T “ILLEGAL.” STRIKE THREE. AND SECOND OF ALL, WITHOUT REALIZING IT, YOU’RE CALLING INTO QUESTION THE MANAGEMENT SKILLZ OF THE OWNERS. OF COURSE MOST OF THESE ISSUES ARE WORKED OUT AT THE SF RENT BOARD, BUT YOU DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT, OK FINE. BUT, FOR THAT, STRIKE FOUR.

“Erhardt says she had a case where the original tenant was paying $19 a month for his apartment because he’d installed sub-leasers to pay most of the way.”

SO FINE, TAKE IT TO THE RENT BOARD – WHAT’S THE PROBLEM HERE? PROVE UP YOUR CASE AND YOU’LL WIN, EASY-PEASY. AWWWW, THAT’S TOO HARD FOR YOU, YOU DON’T HAVE STOMACH TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF LANDLORDING IN SF? WELL, WHO PROMISED YOU, THE INHERITOR, THAT IT WOULD BE EASY, WHO PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN? WHY NOT INSTEAD JUST SELL THE PROPERTY AND ENJOY YOUR UNEARNED INCOME? FOR NOT STATING THE OBVIOUS, THAT’S STRIKE FIVE FOR THE NEVIUS.

Critics say these are just a few anecdotal examples. 

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, NEVIUS? WHO ACTUALLY SAID THIS? AND HOW MANY THOUSANDS OF  STRAW DOGS HAVE YOU BIRTHED OVER THE YEARS, YOU LAZY WRITER, CW NEVIUS? STRIKE SIX. (LET’S BRING OUT THE “T”)

“…poperty owners.”

HEY NEVIUS, YOU DON’T HAVE AN EDITOR, HUH? I KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF TEH TYPOS. AND THAT’S NOT A PROBLEM IN ITSELF, BUT AN EDITOR WOULD PREVENT YOU FROM SAYING STUFF LIKE HOW NOT GETTING A LANDLORD’S PERMISSION TO DO SOMETHING IS “ILLEGAL.” WHAT YOU NEED IS SOMEBODY TO GO THROUGH ALL YOUR SENTENCES AND THEN SAY, “NOW IS THIS ACTUALLY TRUE?” SO YEAH, SURE, YOU CAN FIX THE TYPOS, BUT WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE, WHAT ABOUT ALL THE ERRORS WHAT _AREN’T_ TYPOS? STRIKE SEVEN

A simple concept, rent-controlled apartments for those who need a financial break, has become as Byzantine as the tax code.

WELL, LET’S SEE HERE. NUMBER ONE, SF RENT CONTROL IS NOT “AS BYZANTINE AS OUR TAX CODE,” NOT BY A LONG SHOT. FOUL TIP. NUMBER TWO, RENT CONTROL WAS MEANT FOR EVERYONE, NOT JUST “THOSE WHO NEED A FINANCIAL BREAK.” RIGHT? ‘CAUSE OTHERWISE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MEANS-TESTED, RIGHT? IN THAT WAY, IT’S SIMILAR TO PROP 13, RIGHT? HEY NEVIUS, DO YOU PROPOSE MEANS-TESTING PROP  13? OH YOU DON’T? MMMM… AND HEY, AREN’T YOU A SAN FRANCISCO NEWCOMER WHOSE SOMA CONDO IS UP IN VALUE BIG-TIME SINCE YOU BOUGHT JUST A FEW YEARS AGO? HEY, DON’T YOU BENEFIT FROM PROP 13? DO YOU REALLY NEED IT, NEVIUS? HEY, WHY DON’T WE MEANS-TEST YOUR PROP 13 BENEFITS, NEVIUS? STRIKE EIGHT

“Rent control was enacted in 1979,” said New. “The law has been changed, like, 72 times since then.”

AND SOME OF THOSE CHANGES WERE, LIKE, AT THE BEHEST OF … THE SFAA, RIGHT? IS JANAN NEW COMPLAINING ABOUT THE NUMBER OF CHANGES HER ORG INSTIGATED? WHY DIDN’T YOU ASK HER THAT, MR. EVERYMAN? STRIKE NINE 

“It’s the haves against the have-nots,” Erhardt said, “and every tenant attorney thinks they are Robin Hood.”

AND DOES EVERY TENANT ATTORNEY THINK THEY ARE ROBIN HOOD, IRL? NOPE. STRIKE TEN, AND YOU, CW NEVIUS, THE MIGHTY CASEY, ARE OUT.

AUDI 5000…

Our Local Gannett Co Inc CorpoBlog “The Bold Italic” Asks, “SHOULD ALL WOMEN UNINSTALL UBER?” – Why This Is Funny!

Friday, October 24th, 2014

Well, first off, I don’t know where the question comes from. Is it about stuff like the hammer attack and the “inefficient route” thing from LA?

Prolly.

And, IMO, it’s not even a sincere question. Hey, how about this instead?

“Should women consider uninstalling Uber?”

Something like that would have a better chance of NOT being dismissed as a straw dog.

Anyway, I’ll bet you that there are some PR people at UBER who might not exactly approve of this straw dog headline.

Having said that, I know what the answer is, without even looking at the bit, because UBER is the kind of place what “partners” with our local Gannett CorpoBlog.

See?

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So that’s why it’s funny.

[UPDATE: Whoo, well, I might have skipped through a few grafs there, but I just read the bit and here you go:

“For the record, I’m not suggesting that anyone uninstall Uber.”

So, the insincere question is answered with no, women should NOT uninstall Uber. So, the longstanding “partnerings” betwixt Uber and TBI are free to continue. Whew! 

And actually the whole bit was more about the sexy Lyon, France marketing stunt gone wrong as opposed to physical assaults, so that surprised me.

But this is fucking appalling:

“There have been a few incidents lately where Uber drivers have harassed their female passengers

Uh, abductions DO NOT EQUAL “harassment,” right? Uber drivers “harass” women each and every day, right? But didn’t these allegations relate to something like kidnapping and false imprisonment? I think so. Minimize that all you want, Gannett Co Inc. Feel free. And also feel to take your Women’s Studies major and … whoops, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean. Well, keep them coming, TBI. Keep them coming until your Virginia-based overseers ship your Page Street clubhouse on down to LA, reclaimed wood and all…]