Archive for the ‘paranormal’ Category

Vaunted “Box-Spring” Revealed to be the Scam That It Is

Thursday, June 18th, 2015

I’ve always wondered this, I’ve wondered of what use is a box spring.

People tell me, “It’s to support the mattress.” And I think, oh, the way the floor would?

Now for all I know, this Wiki entry has been hijacked by the North Carolina Box Spring Institute, but here we go:

The purpose of the box-spring is threefold:

  • to raise the mattress’ height, making it easier to get in and out of bed; [OH, OK, SO IT’S A BED HEIGHTENER – CHECK]
  • to absorb shock and reduce wear to the mattress; [THIS SOUNDS LIKE BS TO ME. HOW DOES THE MATTRESS KNOW THAT IT’S NOT SIMPLY ON THE FLOOR? DOES THE MATTRESS SAY TO ITSELF, ”
    OH, I’M NOT ON THE FLOOR SO I’LL CONSCIOUSLY MAKE THE EFFORT TO WEAR OUT SLOWER] and
  • to create a flat and firm structure for the mattress to lie upon. [OH, THE THE WAY THE FLOOR WOULD?]

Another dissatisfied customer, earlier taken in by the ongoing boxspring scam:

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Here we go, revised propaganda from this century:

  • You can put the mattress on the floor. This actually gives the mattress proper support, but it doesn’t look as nice, is more difficult to get in and out of bed, and isn’t as sanitary since you’re right on the floor.

Oh that’s right, sometimes the Norway rats make it past the encircling ring of traps around my bed and then spend the night sleeping on my face. Come to think of it, that’s not sanitary at all!

So that’s the answer – a boxspring is an overwrought platform to enheighten your mattress.

But I don’t see how a mattress platform could possibly “wear out.” And I don’t see why people pay thousands of dollars for them.

END OF LINE.

94117 Update: Letting Your Freak Flag Fly on the Panhandle Bike Path – Shiny Cape Definitely Required

Friday, June 12th, 2015

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The Drone Bros of Golden Gate Park: Whose Drone is Hovering Three Feet from Your Bathroom Window on Fell Street? This Dude’s

Tuesday, May 26th, 2015

Here’s the scene without any arrows pointing things out:

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And here are the arrows:

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And here are the bros:

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Now it could be that bro was just checking out his own pad using his new toy, but man, some people might have been surprised if they saw this drone hovering just outside their windows.

The drone slowly increased altitude to rooftop level and I didn’t stick around to see where it went next.

This is How We Live in 2015…

Artisanal Gas: “The Tires In This Vehicle Have Been Filled With Nitrogen” – An Institute for Nitrogen?

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

OMG:

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Here’s the spiel from the “Get Nitrogen Institute,” complete with a promotional video from Jay Leno.

And here’s Click and Clack on this subject.

And here’s a dude what says the whole idea is a scam.

Now do I think the world needs a Nitrogen Institute? No, I do not.

And do I think this sticker on this car’s window is laughable?

Yes, yes I do.

END OF LINE

Oh, So This is Why San Francisco Has a Gigantic, Wasteful, Expensive, Underfunded, Profitable Street-Sweeping Program

Monday, May 18th, 2015

Here’s a block on Laguna:

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Of course most blocks in San Francisco get swept waaaaaay too often, even after the recent relaxation in scheduling that some areas enjoy.

So my conclusion is that street-sweeping isn’t 100% a scam for SFGov to make money, it’s just mostly a scam. And who’s going to pay for health care for street sweeper workers a half decade from now? Well, that’s SEP (Someone Else’s Problem), that’s something for the Next Mayor to work out…

How To Buy Peace for Your Event in SF: Jack Up Prices To Pay Off All the NIMBY Homeowners – BtoB and NOPNA

Thursday, May 14th, 2015

Apparently, the millionaire homeowners of the Western Addition were among the most oppressed people on God’s Green Earth, ’cause each and every year you’d hear them yammering about the annual Bay to Breakers fun run and house party event.

But what about now, what about this year? Well, there’s nary a peep – it’s spooky-quiet. Check it:

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That’s quite a change over the past five years.

Now I’ll tell you, some of the non-millionaire residents of the Western Addition aren’t actually looking forward to the BtoB, but most of them handle things with maturity by planning ahead, by making plans to be away if this event bothers them so so much, stuff like that.

But the organized homeowners of the Western A, well, they like to complain. And complain they will until you give them a little hush money:

Since 2012, $88,000 has been donated to both ASNA and NOPNA…

Oh, so that’s why the homeowners groups view BtoB as more of a fundraiser rather than something to yammer about every year…

California’s CITY OF THE STARS? It’s Not Beverly Hills and It’s Not Los Angeles – It’s Brisbane 94005!

Friday, May 8th, 2015

Somehow:

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Twitter threatened to move to Brisbane a few years back of course – then Brisbane would have had at least one star, sort of. Oh well.

If You Want an Urban Fun Run, But Not Too Urban, IYKWIM, Then Enter the BtoB – Look, It’s 90%+ White People!

Wednesday, May 6th, 2015

I can’t believe this is an official Bay to Breakers promotional image, but there you go:

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(I guess SPUR won out in the Western Addition / Fillmore / Hayes Valley after all.)

The only thing whiter than this in the 415 is the collection of Western Addition millionaire homeowners who cry about the BtoB each and every year.

(Oh what’s that, you’re a “leader” of NOPNA, but you’re not a aging white millionaire home-owning fussbudget? Well then I’d like to meet you, ’cause you’re a rare bird indeed.)

Welcome, once again, to Frisco, BtoB!

What’s This, the ACADEMY OF ART UNIVERSITY Has a Scholarship “Raffle” But Only for Children of SFFD Workers?

Wednesday, May 6th, 2015

All right, let’s see here, let’s say I’m a Fire Inspector at, IDK, the SFFD Inspection Section of the Bureau of Fire Prevention and I’m a union member and I’m a breeder, with chil’rens, expensive ones, not-so-bright kids with so-so high school grades.

Now wouldn’t it just be a dream come true to enter my teens into the Great AoA Fire Union Scholarship Raffle? I hope I win, I hope I win!

And oh, what’s this, my job is to make judgment calls when I inspect Yet Another AoA Building? Mmmmm…

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Are these scholarships handed out each year? IDK. Does the 500-word essay matter at all? Not that I can tell. Is this a four-year free ride? I think so, so long as the yoots keep their grades up. But note that everything’s at the discretion of the AoA, so maybe if the AoA decides it doesn’t like the SFFD so much next year, it will pull the scholarships? IDK.

Hey, do DBI workers get a scholarship raffle for their kids too?

Oh, what’s that, you’re living in the projects and you’d like a shot at a free scholarship too? Well, let’s see, are either of your parents pulling down six figs as an SFFD firefighter? No? So, no soup for you.

Mmmm…

In other news, when will we change the name of Van Ness to Academy of Art Boulevard?

Know Your Absurdly-Named New Microneighborhoods of SF: “WEST NOPA” – It’s West of North of East of the Panhandle

Friday, April 24th, 2015

Oh. c’mon!

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All right, work with me, people. What we’re talking about with “West NoPA” is the area west of north of east of the Golden Gate Park Panhandle. At what point do microneighborhoods get absurd?

Here we go, the Panhandle is in green, the area literally north of the Panhandle is marked in dark grey, NoPA is the area to the right that’s actually northeast of the Panhandle, and the new “West NoPA” is marked in red:

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What happens next:

SoPA, for South of the Panhandle? Yes, some people already use this term IRL.

EaPA, for East of the Panhandle? No, this one hasn’t caught on, IRL.

North of NoPA, for north of northeast of the Panhandle? Yes, for reals.

DivCo, for Divisadero Corridor? Yes.

Of course, IRL this is all in the Western Addition.

And actually, the Western Addition is Everywhere. In fact, it’s where Ansel Adams was born in 1902, all the way up there at Jackson and Maple:

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The More You Know…

Anyway, now that we’ve pushed Gannett Co. Inc’s The Bold Italic all the way back to Northern Virginia, we only have our Born and Raised Nativist NIMBYs to blame for our ongoing process of microhoodization…