Archive for the ‘parks’ Category

“Get Off From Above My Lawn!” – Slacklining Hippies the Bane of the Panhandle – The First Rule of Park Club

Friday, April 17th, 2015

The First Rule of Park Club is No Slacklining.

And The Second Rule of Park Club is No Slacklining too.

Except this blanket prohibition isn’t in the SF Park Code.

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Isn’t that funny?

The closest thing I can find is  a prohibition against damaging trees.

Is that close enough?

IDTS!

JMO

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But prove me wrong, kids.

Prove me wrong.

Lawyer’s Corner: RPD Says Slacklines and Hammocks Violate the Park Code, But Do They Really?

Friday, April 10th, 2015

Here you go, this was just the other day in GGP:

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RPD calls this kind of thing “affixing items to trees” on their newish signs, but I don’t see where this language comes from, you know, in the SF Park Code.

So yeah, if you cut down a big tree to have some fun with the stump, I can see how that’d be citeable.

But I don’t see how slacklining or romantic hammocking is an automatic violation of the SF Park Code.

So, I’m saying the newish signs from RPD are incorrect.

So I’m saying that the RPD should go to the BOS to fix this sitch,

JMO

Cherry Blossom Viewing Picnics Continue on into April Near the Japanese Tea Garden, Rain or Shine

Monday, April 6th, 2015

First is was all like this, in early April 2015 across the street from Friend Gate of the Strybing Arboretum (which used to be popular until the $7 paywall went up):

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These people were optimistically setting up in the rain. But then, weather started “improving” – the rain stopped and the fog came back and you could actually see Sutro Tower a little bit:

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And then, when you pass by again, it’s a full-on party under El Sol:

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Right? After all, these blossoms aren’t going to watch themselves.

See you next year!

Tech Bros Use a Drone to Lasso Our Famous McKinley Statue with a Hula Hoop? Sure Looks That Way

Thursday, April 2nd, 2015

Of all the insults Bill McKinley has endured over the years, this has got to be the worst.

Don’t say side-boob, don’t say side-boob…

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Now if you filled the hula hoop up with something, there’s a chance that could you impart enough momentum to toss it up there.

But if this is just a regular, unaltered hoop, then a drone is prolly what these, these urban thugs used.

I am the ghost of Troubled Joe / Hoop’d by his pretty white neck / Some eighteen days ago

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And our somewhat corrupt RPD is now droneless, oh no!

I call for a General Atomics MQ-9 Reaper to loiter above the eastern portion of the GGP Panhandle, you know, an armed patrol, to show the tech bros that WE MEAN BUSINESS!

And who are the prime suspects? It’s these two, recently spotted loitering near the monument:

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And if not them, then it was this crew.

Courage.

Rec and Park Morning Shift: Cleaning Up After Dirty Dirty Hippies in Golden Gate Park for the Past Half-Century

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

Thusly:

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A Steam Clean for the May Queen: SFGov Spends Thousands More on the Panhandle’s McKinley Statue, Once Again

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

Here you go, this is what it looks like when the RPD spends thousands of your hard-earned to steam clean the McKinley Statue. (Hey, whatever happened to KKK Katie?)

Get up to speed on this neverending game of cat and mouse here – just keep reading down.

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IDK, are these people contractors paid by the RPD / SFGov? Prolly. Looks like a pretty easy gig, just get some machine and some green vests and then you’re raking in some sweet sweet govt cash:

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And actually, I don’t know how much offensive Nazi graffiti was cleaned up this go-around. I hadn’t noticed any.

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Perhaps these people were just cleaning the steps this go-around and this wasn’t a five-figure budget-crusher for the Arts Commish / Rec and Park Dept? I know not.

I can see why elements of SFGov, politically-connected, white & wizened millionaires who live in million dollar houses far outside the city limits, want to just throw up their arms by throwing up a metal fence around these steps at the eastern edge of Golden Gate Park. Oh, and local real estate interests, the realtors who live and “prospect” in the 94117 – they want an ugly fence as well, around this iconic meeting place.

I can see why, it’s their cry for help. But I don’t approve of no fence.

(And, mind you, the very same people who want the Great McKinley Fence are those who 86’ed the harmless Panhandle Bandshell a few years back…)

The Angriest-Looking Travel Trailer Ever: VENGEANCE is Yours, on South Van Ness – A Fifth Wheel “Toy Hauler”

Thursday, February 26th, 2015

You live up front and carry around your ATV or motorcycles or whatever in the back

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Aint that America?

A Graffiti Artist Took a Dim View of All the Rules at the Former Strybing Arboretum in Golden Gate Park

Wednesday, February 18th, 2015

Of course, you gotta have rules:

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Strybing used to be free but now there’s a paywall, except the place still takes up our tax money, which doesn’t really make sense.

The crew that runs this place wants the former Strybing to be a “world-class” facility, whatever that means.

The crew that runs this place likes plants but not people, cause people cause problems.

Which is fine, they want to have a paywall, but why are we still supporting this place, I don’t get it.

The Pigeon Feeders of St Mary’s Square, West of the Financh

Friday, January 30th, 2015

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Let’s hear from a Yelper:

This park has turned into a dump. I walk my dog here everyday and have watched it deteriorate rapidly over the last year. I’ve found used needles in the grass, heard a junkie tell a tourist not to use the public toilet because they’ll get Hep-C, and watched the playgrounds turn into homeless encampments. I really don’t understand why the city has turned such a blind eye to the problems here.”