Archive for the ‘real estate’ Category

Historic Koshland Mansion, Frisco’s Most Expensive Listing, is Taken Over by HandyCam-Toting Skateboarders – Another Indignity at 3800 Washington

Wednesday, April 27th, 2016

For one brief shining moment, some thought Taylor Swift would buy this long-empty fixer-upper up in Presidio Heights.

Then there was the art-thieving squatter – he’s imprisoned now, AFAIK.

And now this is how things looked last week:

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I count five sk8tr boyz recording their tricks up there.

Look for the results on the YouTube.

Our poor, poor Koshland Mansion…

Ah, the Glamour of Real Estate Sales: Catwalk-Ready But Schlepping Signs out of a Nissan on Arguello

Thursday, June 4th, 2015

Did NOT look happy.

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A Real Estate Empire Masquerading as an Art School – It’s AoA’s World, We’re Just Living In It…

Tuesday, May 5th, 2015

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Monet, bo-ney
Croquet, roset
Chimay, Sheneneh
KKK layaway stay away
Patti Mayonnaise, Doug Funnie
Brown bunny, money, money

Pay me, Baby
CCAC, S-C-A-D
Thats SCAD its really rad

Whats really rad, who’s really your dad
R-I-S-D, thats RISD

Toss the Frisbee, Cooper Union
Thats what I’m doin’, thats what I’m doin’
Toss the Frisbee, Cooper Union
Thats what I’m doin’, thats what I’m doin’

Pratt, SVA
Fozzie wakka wakka like lady esé
Pratt, Pratt, SVA
Fozzie wakka wakka like lady esé

He’s Ba-aack! Did Infamous Wife Swapper Stephen Fowler Just Buy 38 Liberty for $2 Mil?

Tuesday, December 16th, 2014

Brace yourselves, Liberty Hill, brace yourselves, Castro / Noe Valley. Here’s what could be in store for you:

“Applicant: Stephen Fowler  – 38 Liberty Street (3608/044A); Project Review meeting to discuss the following: Property is part of the Liberty Hill Historic District. Applicant would like to raise building, add a garage, and add a vertical and horizontal additions as well as restore Victorian facade. Applicant is requesting a preservation and environmental planner.”

Hey, didn’t Stephen Fowler just wear out his welcome in Noe Valley just a few years ago, before decamping to the ‘burbs of Marin? I think so. Remember that whole deal, when the denizens of Noe went down to City Hall to argue with the San Francisco Wife Swapper et ux. It was a fiasco. Hey, remember when octogenarian Mr. Hanamura, who got “evicted” in World War II, as a Japanese American, had somebody drop a dime on him to SFGov to get him out of his illegal in-law unit? (Hey, who made that call, I wonder.)

And then up in Marin, there was the Tree Topping Issue, but I won’t get into that.

All right, I’ll show my “work.”

Welcome to the City and County of San Francisco’s Citizen Portal
San Francisco’s Department of Building Inspections and Planning are pleased to offer our citizens, businesses, and visitors access to government services online, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

And then.

And then.

And look, does he still want to “restore” the front – a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down? IDK.

Who knows what’s in store…

Anyway, that’s the update on our infamous Wife Swapper /  House Flipper / attemptive Victorian Lifter

Good News, Everybody! That “$3 Million Farmhouse” at 10th and Balboa Sold for LESS Than Asking Price in 2014

Friday, September 5th, 2014

Oh, wait a sec, maybe that’s BAD news – it depends on who you are.

Anyway, here’s proof that it’s possible to buy a place in Frisco for less than asking price in the Year Of Our Lord 2014:

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One of the asking prices was the “lucky” number of $2,888,888.88, IIRC.

Fin.

Word on the Street, Outer Avenues Edition: “LEAVE MY CITY, HIPSTER SCUM!” – Pretty Harsh for the Middle Richmond

Friday, September 5th, 2014

It would take me a long time to find this billboard again, as I rely on street signs to tell me which Avenue I’m on* after I’ve crossed the city limits and entered SF County. (Anyway, it’s near this place – but is it the Inner Richmond or the Middle Richmond? I just can’t tell.)

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I sense a little friction.

“I beg of you, Monsieur, watch yourself.  Be on guard.  This place is full of hipsters, hipsters everywhere, everywhere.” –The Dark European

*I suppose there are people out there that you could blindfold and then release at some random place in the Richmond District and then they’d know their exact location based upon sounds, wind patterns, smells, etc. You know, ppl with Local Knowledge. I’m not one of those people (even though I was very close to being redistricted into District One a few years back, oh well).

Grand Opening of “Summit 800” Condos This Weekend – Parkmerced Adjacent – Too Far South, Too Far West

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

Well, this is news to me. Hater notes in brackets:

“Model Grand Opening At Summit 800 In San Francisco This Saturday & Sunday, August 23 And 24!

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 21, 2014 /PRNewswire/ — It’s time you experienced a higher level [I DON’T THINK LIVING WAY DOWN THERE IS HIGHER ANYTHING, IMO] of living. This Saturday, August 23 and Sunday, August 24, you’re invited to the highly anticipated Model Grand Opening of Summit 800 in San Francisco! With spectacular amenities, a peaceful community atmosphere and new single-family homes and attached condominiums priced from the low $1 millions, Summit 800 invites you to discover a new side [THE FAR WEST SIDE! THE FAR SOUTH SIDE! THE FAR SOUTHWEST SIDE] of San Francisco living. This is your chance to be among the first to tour the new models, enjoy refreshments and find a home that redefines everything [OF COURSE, EVERYTHING!]. Visit the sales office this weekend from 10:00 am to 5:00 pm and explore a community where elevated living [I DON’T THINK LIVING WAY DOWN THERE IS ELEVATED ANYTHING, IMO] starts here.

Nestled along a climbing hill [AS OPPOSED TO A NON-CLIMBING HILL?] in true San Francisco fashion, Summit 800 presents a long-awaited new residential opportunity in an unprecedented [IT’S IN THE PARKMERCED AREA, RIGHT? THAT PLACE HAS BEEN THERE FOR DECADES] location. Here, three-story single-family residences and attached condominiums are designed to fit your needs. Five unique floor plans range from 1,547 to 2,133 square feet and offer as many as three bedrooms, two-and one-half baths, private and shared two-car garages and stunning architectural styles. Plus, each residence comes equipped with solar power systems, embracing all the qualities you look for in a new home.

Designer-selected features and open living spaces create enough room for relaxation and comfort throughout [I’LL CEDE THIS POINT, SUMMIT. I’M SURE YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONDOS ARE NICE INSIDE] Magnificent kitchens include energy-saving appliances, well-appointed cabinetry and granite slab countertops, while spacious master suites offer sumptuous bath havens, boasting solid-surface vanities, luxurious soaking tubs, separate spa-like showers and stylish mirrors. Additional community conveniences include a two-acre park, tot lot and dog park [AND THE CLOSEST PLACE TO SHOP IS A CONVENIENCE STORE WITH DRUG DEALERS HANGING OUT OUT FRONT?]

Situated in desirable San Francisco, Summit 800 presents an incredible opportunity to experience a new side of life in the city. A premier location [AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!] minutes from downtown [20 MINUTES? 40 MINUTES? 50 MINUTES? 60 MINUTES? 70 MINUTES? I MEAN IT DEPENDS ON IF YOU’RE WALKING OR DRIVING OR RIDING A BIKE OR, AT A LAST RESORT, RIDING MUNI, RIGHT?]  and steps [3000?] from MUNI transit embraces rich culture, energy and style, offering access to the iconic Golden Gate Park, historic Japanese Tea Garden [SO IF SUMMIT 800 OFFERS ACCESS TO THE JAPANESE TEA GARDEN, THEN ANY PLACE IN DALY CITY SIMILARLY OFFERS ACCESS TO THE JAPANESE TEA GARDEN, RIGHT?] and city landmarks as well as world-renowned shopping, dining and entertainment destinations, from Union Square to Stonestown Galleria [YES, OUR “WORLD RENOWNED” MALL AT STONESTOWN – IT’S ALL THEY TALK ABOUT IN PARIS].

Summit 800 is located at 71 Summit Way, San Francisco, California 94132, off the I-280 S freeway and Geneva Avenue [OH FUCK, GENEVA? THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER] exit. The sales office is open daily from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm. For more details, please visit Summit800.com or call (415) 587-8800.

Summit 800 is a new home community by Comstock Homes and Maracor Development in San Francisco. Situated near San Francisco’s Lake Merced area, the 7.7-acre site is owned by Real Capital Solutions, a nationally focused investor of work-out and value-add properties.

If the NIMBYs of Alamo Square Don’t Like the Bay to Breakers Party, Then What About This Monstrous Radiation Machine/Cell Phone Tower?

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

Be afraid, NIMBYs.

Be very, very afraid.

And make sure to inventory every slight you experience this Sunday and then repeat all of them to everybody you know for the the following two weeks so that everybody can now how  you, the poor millionaire homeowner, has suffered uniquely owing to this street party what existed long before you were even born.

And just look at it – it’s pointed right towards you! Arrrgh!

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Enjoy your cellphone tower, Western Addition.

WINDOW, WINDOW, BOX, WINDOW, WINDOW, BOX, WINDOW, WINDOW, BOX, WINDOW, WINDOW, BOX, ETC.

Friday, February 14th, 2014

Gracious urban living, Frisco-style:

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And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack

Say What? You Can Buy a Two Bedroom Co-Op in the City of Richmond for $300-something per Month?

Thursday, October 24th, 2013

I think so. Like this place with a parking space is going for less than $100k, plus co-op fess of $300-something a month, which wouldn’t even cover the rent for a parking space where I live.

Anyway, it’s  in Atchison Woods It isn’t for me, but if you’re interested: westbissell338@yahoo.com

I guess I’m blown away by the pricing.

I had no idea