Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Passive-Aggressive Wayfinding for the Letter Carriers of Clayton Station: 1500 Page, 1500 Page, 1500 Page, 1500

Thursday, June 18th, 2015

Sometimes in the 94117, your mail gets bounced for no good reason. The cure is to write a note to your letter carrier politely explaining that you do in fact live at your address. I’m srsly.

And to make things even simpler, you can be excessively redundant. Thusly:

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The Horrible Pedestrians of San Francisco, Chapter CXII: Special Richmond District Edition – The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Jaywalk

Wednesday, June 17th, 2015

This person never looked. This person shouldn’t be jaywalking:

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But bygones, moving on, ever so slowly moving on…

…to this. Starting across Geary with a cane, waaaaaay too late:

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Assuming you start when it’s legal, then tout le monde need to wait for you. But if you start too late then you’re just another jaywalker.

I start late, sometimes. But I pay attention.

That’s the difference.

An Act of Bravery: Walking Around Frisco with the Word “LOCAL” Written on the Front of Your Hoodie

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015

Or should I say “local,” in lower case?

No matter, listen up all you, you
tourists, I’m special ’cause I’m local, and you’re not, you know, because you’re not:

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And is that Giants Orange upon black? Natch. You see, the Giants are local too.

Just like me!

I’m special!

I’m local!

Hurray! Hurray for me!

A Call for Artists: Sue-Happy “SF Beautiful” Org + SFMTA’s MUNI Buses = A Chance to Display Your Art

Thursday, May 28th, 2015

Let’s see if I can pay off on this headline here.

San Francisco Beautiful is a 501(c)(3) what likes to sue us, the People of San Francisco. Last I saw, they got spanked by some appellate judges and the Wealthy Wizened White people of SFB said they were weighing their options, oh well.

And MUNI, well that’s America’s Slowest Big-City Transit System, right? (Ask about our hidebound ‘work-rules’ what have accumulated over the years – we’ve got a lot!”)

Put them together and you’ve got the ‘MUNI Art’ Call for Artists.

And here’s your compensation:

“This is a high visibility opportunity for artists to have their work seen by thousands of persons daily”

Oh, and maybe you’ll make a couple thou to boot.

Also, resumes are required.

Now an art car has had its exterior prettified, made beautiful, but an “art bus” looks just like any other bus, oh well. Your winning piece won’t be seen by the millions outside of MUNI buses, oh no, oh well. (And please note that your art can’t promote the use of cars as transportation, under MUNI’s advertising rules. Hey, why not make your bus art an image of an art bus? It could work!)

Have at it:

Call for Artists
San Francisco Beautiful presents: MUNI Art
Application Deadline: June 19, 2015
Project Description
SF Beautiful is inviting artists to create original artwork to be digitally reproduced for display within 50 Muni Art buses in San Francisco this fall (2015).The artist will retain ownership of the artwork. This is a new initiative of SF Beautiful, in partnership with SFMTA. This is a high visibility opportunity for artists to have their work seen by thousands of persons daily.
5 winning designs will be selected by a public vote from a pool of pre qualified finalists. Each of the 5 artists will have their work displayed in 10 buses for a period of three months. No advertising will be displayed in the buses during this period.
Eligibility
Applicants must live in one of the following Bay Area counties:
• Alameda County
• Contra Costa County
• Marin County
• Napa County
• San Francisco County
• San Mateo County
• Santa Clara County
• Solano County
• Sonoma County
Theme
Artists who are selected as finalists are encouraged to develop designs that are evocative of “The Spirit of San Francisco.”
This can be broadly interpreted and should be appropriate for the context in which it will be displayed.
Selection Process
Stage 1:
Complete applications will be vetted by a Review Committee comprised of local gallery owners and art institutions.
Applications will be considered based on their eligibility, application materials, and adherence to SFMTA’s advertising policy, on pages 4 & 5.
Stage 2:
Finalists will submit initial designs that will be presented to the public through an online voting system.
Applying
Applications must include the following:
1. 1-page project proposal including:
a. Project Description (text only, no visuals of project at this time)
b. How your project relates to the theme – “The Spirit of San Francisco”
c. If your project will be continuous or multiple panels (example on page 3)
2. 1-page resume
3. No more than 4 images of previous work (submitted as Microsoft Word or PDF document)
a. Include medium, dimensions, date, and a brief description for each image

Frisco Housing, the Way You Like It, With All Sorts of Tiny Details – You Know, Just for Decoration

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

As seen on Post, in the Western Addition:

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Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There’s a beige one and a beige one
And a beige one and a beige one,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

Artisanal Gas: “The Tires In This Vehicle Have Been Filled With Nitrogen” – An Institute for Nitrogen?

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

OMG:

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Here’s the spiel from the “Get Nitrogen Institute,” complete with a promotional video from Jay Leno.

And here’s Click and Clack on this subject.

And here’s a dude what says the whole idea is a scam.

Now do I think the world needs a Nitrogen Institute? No, I do not.

And do I think this sticker on this car’s window is laughable?

Yes, yes I do.

END OF LINE

Here’s How the SFMTA’s COMMUTER SHUTTLE PILOT is Going – Corinthian IPS “Staging” in a Bus Stop – Leather vs. Pleather

Monday, April 27th, 2015

Here’s a snapshot of our SFMTA’s corporate bus 18-month pilot deal.

It’s a “Corinthian International Parking Services” truckvanbus blocking a 21 Hayes MUNI bus (and even though this might look like one vehicle with an articulated bend in the middle, you’re seeing two different vehicles parked nose-to-tail):

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Sort of blocking, anyway.

(Now I’ll tell you, I’m in my 40’s, so I know all about Corinthian and its soft leather courtesy of Ricardo Montalban – this truckvanbus has gotta be totally pimped out on the inside with a name like Corinthian on the outside. Compare that with the MUNI bus with its pleather (at best!) driver’s seat and hard plastic surfaces for the passengers. And any wood you see inside a MUNI is unlikely to have been claimed in the first place, much less reclaimed.  MUNI buses aren’t baller at all.)

Now, where was I? Oh, here we go, it turns out that the Corinthian IPS driver was “staging,” you know, just chilling out waiting for the time to move on. You can see the Windex he’s holding as he TCBs shortly after the MUNI bus moved on:

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Point One: I, for one, would be afraid of getting a parking ticket via MUNI’s forward-facing video cams, so I would have gotten in the trackvanbus and then simply have driven around the block with a quickness, in deference to America’s Slowest Big City Transit System.

Point Two: Also, it just seems rude to sit there blocking the stop, so I would have gotten in the trackvanbus and then simply have driven around the block with a quickness.

Point Three: Staging in a designated MUNI stop is specifically against the rules. [See below.]

So, on it goes with the pilot program, which sure as Heck seems to me to be agin current California law.

I’m not calling 311 to report the SFMTA pilot number to be put on hold forever the way The Man wants me to, I’m just updating you, the Gentle Reader.

(And I’ll tell you, this is small potatoes compared with Facebook double-parking on Masonic day after day.)

And BTW, our SFMTA is in complete denial about whose employees /contractors are riding around in which bus – I guess they’re under a lot of corporate pressure…

Read on for all the rules of this game:

(more…)

SFPD Chief Stars in Brand-New Traffic Safety PSA – Obvious Tension with Bike Coalition – Die Hard Greg Suhr Gives Off a Bruce Willis Vibe

Wednesday, April 8th, 2015

I’ll tell you, I saw a photo of Chief Greg in the papah’ the other week, and I thought Worst Bald Cap Ever. But this, this is much improved:

Now, if our SFPD wants to go Hollywood, they gotta realize they’re going to get reviews.

1. NOBODY’S GOING TO WATCH THIS PSA ON YOUTUBE. You got to give people a reason to pass along a link to their buds. We need virility, not virility, YKWIM? Perhaps people will be coerced into watching, IDK. Next time, have your people call my people and we’ll sex things up and your view counter will go from 150 (and yesterday when I saw this for the first time it was, suspiciously, at exactly 100) up into the millions. Oh what’s that, there were other reasons to make this vid, aside from having people watch it online? Oh yes, I can see that.

2. ALL THOSE CODE SECTIONS ARE TMI. I mean, even for me. Oh, those clips were for the benefit of students of Hogwarts SFPD? I could see that. They are well-made, and they show viewers how state laws are applied on the Streets of San Francisco. So that’s great.

3. CHECK OUT THE SECTION ON BIKES STARTING AT 3:15. So the fourth line on the graphic explaining 21202 was spoken by a different narrator? It sure seemed to be tacked on as an afterthought. This is an awkward edit right in touchy, touchy territory.

4. IT’S NICE HAVING TRAFFIC LAWS EXPLAINED BY A NEUTRAL SOURCE, AS OPPOSED TO GETTING MORE OF THE SAME FROM ADVOCACY ORGANIZATIONS. So we don’t have the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition talking about how pedestrians “always” having the right of way and we don’t have SFMTA spokesmodel Paul Rose spouting off misinformation (the way he does with the Chronicle, which unlike this YT clip, actually has an audience, so you see, I’m sort of saying that the SFMTA can’t claim its “No. 1 Goal Is Safety” if it has Paul Rose talking nonsense about countdown timers and the like).

5. ASIDE FROM ALL THAT, FIVE STARS OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE STARS. 

ASSIGNMENT DESK: Write a bit about the obvious tensions betwixt the SFPD and advocacy groups like the SFBC and Walk SF. I’ll tell you, if this vid had been turned over to the SFBC to make for $100k under a no-bid contract, it would come off quite differently. And leave us remember that most ped and bike rider deaths in SF County last year were the fault of the peds and bike riders themselves, right? Just a skosh over 50%, per … the SFPD.

ASSIGNMENT DESK: A Patent Dispute of Concern to Hot Young Women – Local Angle! – Health Angle! – LIFEFACTORY vs. ???

Thursday, March 19th, 2015

I’ll tell you, ONLY IN MARIN, ’cause only in Marin will you find the LifeFactory company, which makes those expensive, fashionable glass water bottles with silicone covers what are all the rage at the hot yoga the past few years. LF offers us “mobile glass solutions for modern life,” don’t you know.

I’ll tell you, this company up in Sausalito is crunchier than all get out, so you’ll have plenty to talk about when you go up there to ask about their knock-down drag out fight with The Competition.

That’s right, the Lifefactory ppl have US Patent 8579133 B2, Protective sleeves for containers. Check it:

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You can see their press release below.

But come now the Ello and Zulu ppl to say, well, read what they have to say right here.

This story writes itself.

Bonus Time: Local Successful Female Entrepreneur of Color

Question Time:

1. Dear LF, what’s wrong with people buying Ello bottles at Costco #144 in SoMA for $7.49? (Oh, you’ll get an earful on that one, about how Ello sucks, which, you know, the pop-tops do seem a bit cheesy, but then again, everybody I know with the LF bottles complains about leaking caps, so there you go,)

2. And if your lawsuit is going so great, why is it that ppl can still buy Ello stuff in ‘Merica?  

3. And Ello uses squares instead of circles (and Zulu uses a diamond pattern, I think), so what’s so wrong with that? 

Enquiring Minds Want To Know. 

I’ll tell you, nobody’s covered this one. This is your story.

This is the most accessible, local patent law case you will find. I’m srsly.

Engage.

 

“SAUSALITO, Calif., July 21, 2014 — Lifefactory, Inc. (www.lifefactory.com), the leading provider of mobile glass solutions for modern life, today announced that it has filed a patent infringement lawsuit against Leapfrog Product Development LLC, the manufacturer of the Ello and Zulu water bottle lines, for offering for sale, selling, and distributing reusable glass bottles with protective silicone sleeves in violation of Lifefactory’s patent. The company’s lawsuit alleges infringement of Utility Patent No. 8,579,133, which covers Lifefactory’s innovative sleeves and wraps for protecting containers.

The lawsuit, filed in United States District Court, Northern District of California, represents Lifefactory’s dedication to protecting its brand while issuing a warning to others attempting to or planning to infringe on its innovations. The lawsuit is the largest and most significant to date brought by Lifefactory, and is part of the company’s ongoing proactive efforts to combat the unlawful production, distribution, and sale of products that infringe on its valuable intellectual property rights.

“Lifefactory’s patent portfolio represents years of hard work and showcases our commitment to innovation on behalf of our customers,” said Roy Mabrey, C.O.O. of Lifefactory, Inc. “Putting our utility patent into full effect will allow our retail partners and consumers to be able to purchase high-quality products they can trust without confusion.”

Lifefactory has been awarded numerous design and utility patents and has additional patents pending in the U.S. and internationally. For additional information, please visit www.lifefactory.com/ip.

ABOUT LIFEFACTORY, INC.

Lifefactory is the leading provider of mobile glass solutions for modern life. The Company brings the purity of glass, the protection of silicone, and the power of color to a full line of products designed for healthy families. Lifefactory’s materials are free of all known harmful substances including BPA/BPS and phthalates. All components are made in North America andEurope. All products are dishwasher safe. The Company is privately held and headquartered in Sausalito, CA.

SOURCE Lifefactory, Inc.”

Gothic Civic Center, Sunrise

Monday, March 16th, 2015

California Supreme Court and the 100 McAllister Building:

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