Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

“DRUNK” Porsche: “I realize many people feel this says bad things about me. I feel that says bad things about them.”

Friday, July 17th, 2015

File this one under Internet Regret. You see, last year this link (that currently points to a puzzled duck) looked like this:

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But then, San Francisco Twitizen Mark DeVito posted a photo from the Streets of San Franisco:


And the rest is History.

Ah, Memory Hole memories…

Our Changing Presidio: A Military Observation Tower Located Just North of the Richmond Replaced by a Communications Tower

Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

First, it was all like this:


Get all the deets here.

You see I’m six-foot-one and a ton of fun, so things were a bit wobbly on the staircase going up, back in the day. Empty beer cans are what you’d find up there.

But now the Presidio isn’t a military base – there’s no need to have an observation tower for training recruits anymore.

Radio communications, that’s the present need on this ridge, and it’s The Future as well.

Here’s how things look these days:

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This scene makes me think of the Old Days.


A Man In His Forties

Is This SmartCar Illegally Parked Perpendicularly or Is It Legally Parked in Front of a Garage?

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2015

I think it’s illegally parked on public property, but IDK

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Passive-Aggressive Wayfinding for the Letter Carriers of Clayton Station: 1500 Page, 1500 Page, 1500 Page, 1500

Thursday, June 18th, 2015

Sometimes in the 94117, your mail gets bounced for no good reason. The cure is to write a note to your letter carrier politely explaining that you do in fact live at your address. I’m srsly.

And to make things even simpler, you can be excessively redundant. Thusly:

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The Horrible Pedestrians of San Francisco, Chapter CXII: Special Richmond District Edition – The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Jaywalk

Wednesday, June 17th, 2015

This person never looked. This person shouldn’t be jaywalking:

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But bygones, moving on, ever so slowly moving on…

…to this. Starting across Geary with a cane, waaaaaay too late:

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Assuming you start when it’s legal, then tout le monde need to wait for you. But if you start too late then you’re just another jaywalker.

I start late, sometimes. But I pay attention.

That’s the difference.

An Act of Bravery: Walking Around Frisco with the Word “LOCAL” Written on the Front of Your Hoodie

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015

Or should I say “local,” in lower case?

No matter, listen up all you, you
tourists, I’m special ’cause I’m local, and you’re not, you know, because you’re not:

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And is that Giants Orange upon black? Natch. You see, the Giants are local too.

Just like me!

I’m special!

I’m local!

Hurray! Hurray for me!

A Call for Artists: Sue-Happy “SF Beautiful” Org + SFMTA’s MUNI Buses = A Chance to Display Your Art

Thursday, May 28th, 2015

Let’s see if I can pay off on this headline here.

San Francisco Beautiful is a 501(c)(3) what likes to sue us, the People of San Francisco. Last I saw, they got spanked by some appellate judges and the Wealthy Wizened White people of SFB said they were weighing their options, oh well.

And MUNI, well that’s America’s Slowest Big-City Transit System, right? (Ask about our hidebound ‘work-rules’ what have accumulated over the years – we’ve got a lot!”)

Put them together and you’ve got the ‘MUNI Art’ Call for Artists.

And here’s your compensation:

“This is a high visibility opportunity for artists to have their work seen by thousands of persons daily”

Oh, and maybe you’ll make a couple thou to boot.

Also, resumes are required.

Now an art car has had its exterior prettified, made beautiful, but an “art bus” looks just like any other bus, oh well. Your winning piece won’t be seen by the millions outside of MUNI buses, oh no, oh well. (And please note that your art can’t promote the use of cars as transportation, under MUNI’s advertising rules. Hey, why not make your bus art an image of an art bus? It could work!)

Have at it:

Call for Artists
San Francisco Beautiful presents: MUNI Art
Application Deadline: June 19, 2015
Project Description
SF Beautiful is inviting artists to create original artwork to be digitally reproduced for display within 50 Muni Art buses in San Francisco this fall (2015).The artist will retain ownership of the artwork. This is a new initiative of SF Beautiful, in partnership with SFMTA. This is a high visibility opportunity for artists to have their work seen by thousands of persons daily.
5 winning designs will be selected by a public vote from a pool of pre qualified finalists. Each of the 5 artists will have their work displayed in 10 buses for a period of three months. No advertising will be displayed in the buses during this period.
Applicants must live in one of the following Bay Area counties:
• Alameda County
• Contra Costa County
• Marin County
• Napa County
• San Francisco County
• San Mateo County
• Santa Clara County
• Solano County
• Sonoma County
Artists who are selected as finalists are encouraged to develop designs that are evocative of “The Spirit of San Francisco.”
This can be broadly interpreted and should be appropriate for the context in which it will be displayed.
Selection Process
Stage 1:
Complete applications will be vetted by a Review Committee comprised of local gallery owners and art institutions.
Applications will be considered based on their eligibility, application materials, and adherence to SFMTA’s advertising policy, on pages 4 & 5.
Stage 2:
Finalists will submit initial designs that will be presented to the public through an online voting system.
Applications must include the following:
1. 1-page project proposal including:
a. Project Description (text only, no visuals of project at this time)
b. How your project relates to the theme – “The Spirit of San Francisco”
c. If your project will be continuous or multiple panels (example on page 3)
2. 1-page resume
3. No more than 4 images of previous work (submitted as Microsoft Word or PDF document)
a. Include medium, dimensions, date, and a brief description for each image

Frisco Housing, the Way You Like It, With All Sorts of Tiny Details – You Know, Just for Decoration

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

As seen on Post, in the Western Addition:

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Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There’s a beige one and a beige one
And a beige one and a beige one,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

Artisanal Gas: “The Tires In This Vehicle Have Been Filled With Nitrogen” – An Institute for Nitrogen?

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015


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Here’s the spiel from the “Get Nitrogen Institute,” complete with a promotional video from Jay Leno.

And here’s Click and Clack on this subject.

And here’s a dude what says the whole idea is a scam.

Now do I think the world needs a Nitrogen Institute? No, I do not.

And do I think this sticker on this car’s window is laughable?

Yes, yes I do.


Here’s How the SFMTA’s COMMUTER SHUTTLE PILOT is Going – Corinthian IPS “Staging” in a Bus Stop – Leather vs. Pleather

Monday, April 27th, 2015

Here’s a snapshot of our SFMTA’s corporate bus 18-month pilot deal.

It’s a “Corinthian International Parking Services” truckvanbus blocking a 21 Hayes MUNI bus (and even though this might look like one vehicle with an articulated bend in the middle, you’re seeing two different vehicles parked nose-to-tail):

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Sort of blocking, anyway.

(Now I’ll tell you, I’m in my 40’s, so I know all about Corinthian and its soft leather courtesy of Ricardo Montalban – this truckvanbus has gotta be totally pimped out on the inside with a name like Corinthian on the outside. Compare that with the MUNI bus with its pleather (at best!) driver’s seat and hard plastic surfaces for the passengers. And any wood you see inside a MUNI is unlikely to have been claimed in the first place, much less reclaimed.  MUNI buses aren’t baller at all.)

Now, where was I? Oh, here we go, it turns out that the Corinthian IPS driver was “staging,” you know, just chilling out waiting for the time to move on. You can see the Windex he’s holding as he TCBs shortly after the MUNI bus moved on:

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Point One: I, for one, would be afraid of getting a parking ticket via MUNI’s forward-facing video cams, so I would have gotten in the trackvanbus and then simply have driven around the block with a quickness, in deference to America’s Slowest Big City Transit System.

Point Two: Also, it just seems rude to sit there blocking the stop, so I would have gotten in the trackvanbus and then simply have driven around the block with a quickness.

Point Three: Staging in a designated MUNI stop is specifically against the rules. [See below.]

So, on it goes with the pilot program, which sure as Heck seems to me to be agin current California law.

I’m not calling 311 to report the SFMTA pilot number to be put on hold forever the way The Man wants me to, I’m just updating you, the Gentle Reader.

(And I’ll tell you, this is small potatoes compared with Facebook double-parking on Masonic day after day.)

And BTW, our SFMTA is in complete denial about whose employees /contractors are riding around in which bus – I guess they’re under a lot of corporate pressure…

Read on for all the rules of this game: