“Get Off From Above My Lawn!” – Slacklining Hippies the Bane of the Panhandle – The First Rule of Park Club

April 17th, 2015

The First Rule of Park Club is No Slacklining.

And The Second Rule of Park Club is No Slacklining too.

Except this blanket prohibition isn’t in the SF Park Code.

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Isn’t that funny?

The closest thing I can find is  a prohibition against damaging trees.

Is that close enough?

IDTS!

JMO

JM Legal O

But prove me wrong, kids.

Prove me wrong.

The Problem with Thinking That You Can Park Your SmartCar “Anywhere” in SF is That It’s Not True – Here Comes the Denver Boot

April 17th, 2015

Here’s what westside denizen James Corrigan saw the other day – yet another SmartCar with a Denver Boot on the front left wheel:

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What this means is that the owner let at least five parking tickets go unpaid.

The way the owner got the tickets was through forcing it into parking spaces that were illegal, one assumes. These drivers just do whatever they can because they “know” they’ll fit into a space that no one else can. So they park on sidewalks, they overhang crosswalks, they run the gamut is what they do.

Now before the Smart Car came out, your parking champion around town was your “small premium” MINIs. but now we’re in the era of the Smart, which is a little bit bigger than what they sell in Europe, but even so, this ride is way smaller than a MINI.

No matter, just because you have a small car, that doesn’t mean you have reserved parking all over town…

Become an SFPD “Community Police Services Aide” and Make More Money Than Most of the World’s Cops – No Sidearm Tho

April 16th, 2015

No gun = lots of problems avoided for your employer, the People of San Francisco.

How does this job title compare with Community Service Officer, the kind of gig they have Down South and Up North? I know not, but it all seems the same to me.

9209 Community Police Services Aide

Recruitment #CBT-9209-900934
Department Police
Analyst Jennifer London
Date Opened 4/7/2015 8:00:00 AM
Filing Deadline 4/17/2015 5:00:00 PM
Salary $55,510.00 – $67,496.00/year
Job Type CBT Discrete
Employment Type Full-Time
Go Back Click HERE to apply Click HERE to view benefits
INTRODUCTION

Announcement clerically amended on 4/9/2015 to include exam related information, to provide information regarding candidate requests, to correct the eligible list duration, and to extend the final filing deadline. Receipt of applications will close at 5:00pm on 4/17/2015.

Applicants who already applied to this recruitment (CBT-9209-900934 Community Police Service Aide) do not need to reapply.

Under general supervision, a Community Police Services Aide performs a variety of police related duties for the San Francisco Police Department. Essential functions may vary depending on assignment and may include: directs traffic and issues citations for parking violations at the San Francisco International Airport; regulates, directs, and searches vehicles entering the Airport Operations Area; accepts and processes complaints in person or over the telephone; ensures security of restricted areas and property; utilizes two-way radios; completes reports and forms; provides information and assistance to the public; assists ill or injured citizens; assists in receiving, storing, and releasing of property; utilizes a computer terminal to enter and retrieve information; provides crowd management during events and emergency situations; sorts, files, and maintains reports and records; transports and retrieves evidence to and from Property Room; maintains inventory of office supplies and operates departmental vehicles. Incumbents also perform related duties as required.

Employees in this classification will be given assignments that may require occasional lifting, moving or carrying materials weighing up to 55 lbs.; extended standing, walking and/or sitting; working in inclement weather; climbing up and down a 4 – 6 feet ladder and working in a noisy environment.

Appointees to this classification must be willing to work days, nights, weekends, holidays, and/or rotating shifts as needed. This job also requires mandatory overtime.

MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS

1. Possession of a high school diploma or successful completion of an equivalency test (G.E.D. or California High School Proficiency Examination); AND

2. Possession of a valid Driver License; AND

3. Must be at least 18 years old at the time of application; AND

4. One year of satisfactory full time public contact in a work situation (2000 hours) or military experience.

If Trader Joe’s Needs Traffic Cones for Its Parking Lot Off of Masonic, It Simply Steals Them from MUNI

April 16th, 2015

Or so it appears:

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Man, Teaching Adults How to Ride Bikes in Golden Gate Park Involves a Lot of Pushing of Bikes – A Lot!

April 16th, 2015

I’ll tell you, I’ve taught people how to ride bikes over the years, and I’ll tell you the amount of hours spent teaching all those people how to push bikes, well, that has been exactly zero.

And yet in these courses, as seen in the Panhandle, that seems to be all they do, just pushing bikes around in formation:

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And we can’t have a helmet law in CA because that teaches people that cycling can be dangerous, and yet helmets and safety vests appear to be Job One here.

Just saying….

I’ll tell you man, the people who want to ride bikes in Frisco are already riding bikes in Frisco. They don’t need to be coaxed or cajoled – they’re already doing it, you know, naturally. And if you, and you know who you are, if you think that this is the way to get a five-fold increase in cycling in San Francisco in the remaining five years ’til 2020, well, you’re sadly mistaken.

Is bike riding a religion or just another way to get around town?

You tell me, Babe.

You tell me.

Sk8er Boi Thinks He’s a Car: “Taking the Lane” South of the Slot

April 16th, 2015

Sk8er Boi!

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Sk8er Boi!

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Sk8er Boi!

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A modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride
Today’s Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride

Though his mind is not for rent
Don’t put him down as arrogant
His reserve, a quiet defense
Riding out the day’s events
The river

The world is, the world is
Love and life are deep
Maybe as his eyes are wide

Exit the warrior
Today’s Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the energy you trade
He gets right on to the friction of the day

How SFGov Profits from Human Nature: Hundreds of Dollars of Street Sweeping Tickets Issued on One Short Block

April 16th, 2015

Our SFMTA issued st least three tickets on this short block the other day, you know, to punish people for blocking a street cleaning machine.

Here’s the Before, with an ugly, ugly trash-strewn street…

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…and here’s the After, with the newly-beautiful* street:

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What a difference!

Hurray! Hurray for SFGov.

(IRL, this is SFGov reacting to market discipline. If it made this much money per minute rehabbing addicts, it would spend a lot more time and effort rehabbing addicts…)

*Actually, this short block, and this one only, was recently repaved, a few years back, right before an election, and it happens to be the block where a long-time leader of a long-time community group just happens to reside, and I thought, where are we, Chicago West? That’s just what I thought, I don’t know why this block got repaved before others in the Western Addition. As I said, it’s kind of random….

KEEPING THE PANHANDLE WEIRD: 2015 “Now Festival” Runs April 19th-25th – A Massive Schedule – “Slackline City?”

April 15th, 2015

Get all the deets from Fun Cheap SF.

Note the carve out for the afternoon of Annual 420 Day, held, as always, on April 20th.

Note Slackline City in a city park – is that legal? IDK. We’ll see. (IMO, RPD’s signs banning affixing items don’t match our Park Code.)

Note Chalk The Panhandle – is that legal? Not that I know of. Again, we’ll see. (Chalk ads like those on the sidewalks of Fulton promoting the Now Festival last year could certainly get NL in Dutch with Dennis Herrera.)

Do the people at NeighborLand, people like Dan Parham, Candy Chang, and Tee Parham, know about these issues? Are they aware? I know not.

And now, on with the show:

Sunday April 19

10 am: Rock ‘N’ Swap – McClaren Center, 2130 Fulton St

11 am: Lindy in the Park: Free Outdoor Swing Dance – JFK Dr. between 8th and 10th behind the de Young Museum

11 am: Slackline City – Fell and Clayton St

11:30 am: Kubb Tournament – Fell and Clayton St

Noon: Belated Easter Egg Scavenger Hunt - McKinley Statue

Noon: Non-Motorized Transportation – Unite – Meet at the beginning of JFK Drive

Noon: Community Beach Volleyball Tournament - Ocean Beach south of the Cliffhouse

Noon: Chalk the Panhandle – Panhandle Park McKinley Statue

1 pm: Field Day – Panhandle Park – McKinley Statue

2 pm: Live Band Silent Disco – Panhandle Playground Area

2 pm: Psychic Friends Pop-Up Healing Station – Panhandle on the east side of Masonic

2 pm: Vinyasa Yoga in the Park – Meet at McKinley Statue in the Panhandle

3:30 pm: Cookie Bake Off and Recipe Exchange – Panhandle Park, McKinley Statue

5 pm: Community Art Creation – Panhandle Park McKinley Statue

9:30 pm: Sunday Sessions at Madrone – Madrone Art Bar


Monday April 20th

9 am: Pop Up Yoga – Central and Fell

1 pm: Peanut Butter Jelly Parklet – Haight St near Clayton

6 pm: Let’s Get Knotty – Panhandle Park – McKinley Statue

6:30 pm: Let food be your medicine – Richmond YMCA 360 18th avenue

7 pm: Human Centered Design Community Prototyping Workshop Explosion – 2097 Turk Street SF; St. Cyprian’s Church

7:30 pm: Richard Goldstein “Another Little Piece of My Heart” Book Release – The Booksmith

8:30 pm: Pub Quiz at Nickie’s – Nickie’s – 466 Haight St


Tuesday, April 21st

11:30 am: USF Earth Day Celebration – Gleeson Plaza – USF 2130 Fulton St

Noon: Tuesday Air Raid – all over SF

6 pm: Bibliobicicleta – Panhandle Park – Fell and Central

7 pm: Love Thy Nature Film Screening plus Honoring John Muir’s Birthday – The Vogue Theater

7:30 pm: RADAR Banned Book Series, YA Edition! Hosted by Michelle Tea – The Booksmith

7:30 pm: SF Wisdom Hackers Salon #2 – 1554 Fulton St

7:30 pm: Urban Groove Jam Session – St. Cyprian’s 2097 Turk St

10 pm: Brass Magic at Madrone Art Bar – Madrone Art Bar, 500 Divisadero St


Wednesday, April 22nd

11 am: Earth Day Photo Booth Parklet – Haight St. near Clayton

Noon: Tetherball – 611 Baker St

6 pm: Loops and Shutters – Madrone Art Bar, 500 Divisadero St

6:30 pm: Library Film Night – Park Branch Library

7:30 pm: Louella Hill: “Kitchen Creamery: Making Yogurt, Butter & Cheese at Home” Book Release – The Booksmith

Thursday, April 23rd

11:30 pm: Mid-Day Party at USF – USF Gleeson Plaza

3 pm: Referee the Wiggle – Waller and Steiner st – The Wiggle

7 pm: Variété – Bay Area Storytellers – Second Act, 1727 Haight St

7 pm: …And NOW For Something More Intimate – 1554 Fulton St


Friday, April 24th

11:30 pm: Potluck Picnic and Board Games – Panhandle Park, McKinley Statue

2 pm: Edible Plants Education & Workshop – USF Community Garden 2500 Turk

2 pm: Free Flower Friday – Panhandle Park – McKinley Statue

2 pm: USF Community Garden Workday – USF Community Garden – 2500 Turk St

2:30 pm: Homeless Youth Alliance Hosts Game Group – Park Branch Library

3 pm: DMV Concierge –  entrance to the San Francisco DMV

3:30 pm: Help Keep the Park Clean – Panhandle Park, McKinley Statue

4 pm: Giant Crossword Puzzles – Panhandle Park – meet at McKinley Statue

6:30 pm: Emergency Bookswap featuring Courtney Moreno – The Booksmith

7 pm: Mystic Tea at Tea Oasis SF featuring Tarot Mystic Inbal Meron – The Center SF 548 Fillmore St

7:30 pm: Folked – The Red Victorian, 1665 Haight St

7:30 pm: B-Movie Night, Revenge of the Hecklefest – Second Act, 1727 Haight St

11:59 pm: Midnight Pajama Silent Disco – Secret Location


Saturday, April 25th

Noon: Chalk the Panhandle – Panhandle Park McKinley Statue

Noon: Hero Ball – 3 on 3 Basketball Tournament with Costumes – Panhandle Park Basketball Courts

1 pm: Decentralized Dance Party (DDP) – Location TBA

2 pm: Panhandle High-Five Bike Ride – Panhandle Park – McKinley Statue

1 pm: Mobile Bike Repair Station from Yellow Bike Project – Panhandle Park – McKinley Statue

2 pm: Geo-Caching – Meet at McKinley Statue – Panhandle Park

7:30 pm: NOW! Closing Ceremonies – Never Ordinary Saturday – St. Cyprian’s,

The Proposed San Francisco “Dignity” Fund Set-Aside / Earmark is Exactly What’s Wrong with SFGov

April 15th, 2015

Taking a page from the Jim Jones handbook, comes now an assortment of non-profits giving something to our pols to ponder.

Some places have not enough democracy, and some have too much.

We’re in a place that has too much, I’m afraid:

“SAN FRANCISCANS PRIORITIZE FUNDING FOR PROGRAMS FOR SENIORS, PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES, AND VETERANS – New Citywide Poll Finds Strong Support for the Dignity Fund

A recent citywide poll conducted by Tulchin Research (memo attached) found that San Franciscans strongly support the Dignity Fund (69% support), a set aside which would take 2% of property tax revenues from the General fund, and dedicate them to providing services for seniors and adults and veterans with disabilities, similar to the long standing and recently renewed Children’s Fund. The Dignity Fund measure would provide a dedicated local funding source for these services during a time when demand for them is on the rise.

The Dignity Fund is backed and funded by a coalition of community based organizations (full list below), including Asian Pacific Islander Legal Outreach, Bayview Hunters Point Multipurpose Senior Services, Centro Latino, Episcopal Senior Communities, Independent Living Resource Center, Institute on Aging, Open House, San Francisco Village, Self Help for the Elderly, Senior and Disability Action, and Swords to Ploughshares. The proposed measure comes at a time when the cost of living citywide is rising rapidly, and critical services have been reduced due to pressure from state and federal government cuts.

“The funds generated from this measure would help support critical services that are in need of funding to be fully realized for seniors, people with disabilities, and veterans,” said Herb Levine, Co-Chair of the Dignity Fund Coalition. “The City budget does not have a dedicated funding source for these services. The Dignity Fund would create that source without raising taxes.”

The survey tested a specific proposal that would set aside 2% of property tax revenues in the General Fund and dedicate them to providing services to seniors, adults and veterans with disabilities, similar to the Children’s Fund. The survey makes it clear that voters, regardless of age or ideology, offer overwhelming support for creating a Dignity Fund.

“We are taking the steps necessary to place this measure on the 2015 ballot, because now is the time to ensure stability for seniors, people with disabilities, and veterans,” said Ramona Davies, Co-Chair of the Dignity Fund Coalition. “As our populations grow, it behooves us to ensure that the funding is available for these important programs which provide our communities with services that impact us every day.”

Dignity Fund Coalition Members
Asian Pacific Islander Legal Outreach
Bayview Hunters Point Multipurpose Senior Services
Community Living Campaign
Episcopal Senior Communities
Felton Institute (Family Service Agency)
Home Bridge (formerly IHSS Consortium)
Independent Living Resource Center of San Francisco
Institute on Aging
Kimochi, Inc.
Meals on Wheels
On Lok
Open Hand
Openhouse
San Francisco Village
Self Help for the Elderly
Senior and Disability Action
SteppingStone Adult Day Health
Swords to Plowshares
YMCA of San Francisco
Centro Latino
Curry Senior Center
Episcopal Community Services”

San Francisco Catches Antman Fever: “Marvel’s Ant-Man – Trailer 1″ – Filmed On Location, Sort Of, Last Year

April 15th, 2015

Oh, now I get it – San Francisco-based Ant-Man, he’s just a little guy!

Some of the the time, anyway:

Boy, this looks like it’s the start of an extremely generic super-hero series.

But prove me wrong, Marvel.

Prove me wrong.