Posts Tagged ‘800 331-3340’

This Work Van on Geary Proves that Muzak Still Exists

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Is this the FBI undercover? Probably not, so this must be a genuine Muzak vehicle. Can you believe that they’re still operating after all these years?

There was that BK business (in industry parlance “BK” means bankruptcy, for some odd reason) earlier in the year, but obviously that hasn’t kept the rolling stock from rolling.

They’ve got ladders and everything. As seen recently on San Francisco’s Geary Boulevard:

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Click to expand

Now this is what rocker Ted Nugent had to say about Muzak a while back:

It’s an evil force in today’s society, causing people to lapse into uncontrollable fits of blandness. It’s been responsible for ruining some of the best minds of our generation.”

In fact, the Motor City Madman actually offered to buy the company for the sole purpose of shutting it down. Harsh.

But let’s hear from the Muzakians themselves:

Music is art, but Muzak is science. And when you employ the science of Muzak: in an office, workers tend to get more done, more efficiently, and feel happier. In an industrial plant, people feel better and, with less fatigue and tension, their jobs seem less monotonous. In a store, people seem to shop in a more relaxed and leisurely manner. In a bank, customers are generally more calm, tellers and other personnel are more efficient. In general, people feel better about where they are; whether it’s during work or leisure time. Muzak is all this and more. That’s why we say Muzak is much more than music.”

O.K. fine. This incomprehensible MUZAK STIMULUS PROGRESSION CHART proves something, just not sure what that is:

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Don’t stop believing, Muzak. Never stop believing.

All the Muzak channels, after the jump.

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