What the Hell is this, a commercial for the America’s Cup?
Why not instead, hire this guy, Stu Woo of the Wall Street Journal?
He’s running circles around you.
Can you believe this? This new 17-foot-tall ad from New Zealand sponsor Omega at the foot of Sansome Street is all:
“AMERICA”S CUP? NOT FOR LONG”
See? With a certified lead-free forward king post and everything:
Click to expand
So Omega is mocking Americah in Americah?
Well I never.
This is what I could find from the Google, not that you could easily find it, I’m srsly:
“AMERICA’S CUP? NOT FOR LONG. OMEGA proudly supports Emirates Team New Zealand in its campaign to re-claim sailing’s greatest trophy, the America’s Cup…”
I tell you, if my Icebreaker merino wool watch cap hadn’t cost so very very much, I’d burn it!
I’ll tell you, I’d really get into this if I didn’t have to take care of Khaleesi and Arya today and, of course, Dothraki Language Camp is just around the corner so maybe after that I’ll have more time.
I’ve only had the chance to bold the more risible aspects of this Press Release from Fantasyland. Insert your own jokes – it’s easy.
On Tuesday afternoon at 3:00pm, tickets for reserved grandstand seating at the America’s Cup Village at Marina Green will go on sale for the Semi Finals of the Louis Vuitton Cup at www.americascup.com.
The Semi Final pits Italy’s Luna Rossa Challenge against Sweden’s resurgent Artemis Racing in a best-of-seven format beginning August 6.
Tickets for the Semi Final will be available in the East Grandstands and The Deck, positioned directly opposite the start line and the first mark of the racecourse where the boats approach the first turn of the race at maximum speeds near 50 mph.
“It’s become clear that the America’s Cup Village at Marina Green is the place to be for the start of the races,” said Stephen Barclay, the CEO of the America’s Cup Event Authority. “These seats will provide unbeatable views of not just the start of the races, but the top two-thirds of the race course.”
Construction of the grandstands begins today.
The release of additional tickets was made possible by Sunday’s confirmation that Artemis Racing was targeting a return to racing for the Semi Final. This, after Emirates Team New Zealand elected to advance directly to the Final which set up the Semi Final pairing of Luna Rossa vs. Artemis Racing.
Tickets for the Louis Vuitton Cup Finals (Emirates Team New Zealand vs. the winner of the Semi Final) and America’s Cup Finals (ORACLE TEAM USA vs. the winner of the Louis Vuitton Cup) are already on sale.
“We’ve had great support from all the teams and it’s nice that everyone has recognized the effort our team has made to get on the water…” Artemis Racing skipper Iain Percy said on Sunday. “At the end of the process we’ll be good to get out there and race. We’re really looking forward to it.”
Ahead of Sunday’s press conference with the skippers of the three challengers, Barclay also paid tribute to the response from the public in San Francisco to the opening weeks of preliminary racing in the Louis Vuitton Cup, America’s Cup Challenger Series.
“Over these opening weeks, we’ve had nearly 175,000 visitors at America’s Cup Park (on the Embarcadero at Piers 27/29) and over 25,000 at the America’s Cup Village (at Marina Green). That’s around 200,000 for the first three weeks which exceeds our expectations,” Barclay said. “So a big thank you from us to San Francisco for the way you’ve supported the early stages of the event.”
In electing to advance directly to the Louis Vuitton Cup Final, Emirates Team New Zealand also confirmed it would put its boat into the shed for modifications immediately, meaning the team will not race Tuesday’s match against Artemis Racing.
But Luna Rossa Challenge has indicated it plans to race on Thursday, when it is expected to sail the course alone in the last race of the Louis Vuitton Cup Round Robin.
Louis Vuitton Cup Round Robin Standings
The news of the day:
“Obviously all of us have disappointments about what we thought the America’s Cup might be and what it’s turning out to be,” he said. “I don’t think that’s a reason for us to throw up our hands, and say we agreed that we would pursue this but now we’re not going to to pursue this because we’re mad at the America’s Cup.”
OK, so when did it become “obvious” that “all of us” have “disappointment?” Was there a press release or something?
Oh, BTW, sainted Larry Ellison thinks you all are a bunch of jackasses and he says that you all will need to offer an even sweeter package for him to consider having his boat race here in 2016 (assuming he’ll have the chance.)
Oh look, a bus ad:
AM I YOUR FRIEND, REALLY? HEY “FRIEND!” HEY, DIDN’T YOU COMMIT PERJURY THREE TIMES LAST YEAR? WOULD YOU LIKE TO DISCUSS THE TWO CASES I’M TALKING ABOUT? ANYTIME! BUT I DON’T THINK EVERYBODY IN SF IS YOUR “FRIEND.”
All of San Francisco is united behind making the America’s Cup races a huge success.
THAT’S NOT TRUE AT ALL. AT THIS POINT, ABOUT HALF OF THE BOARD OF SUPERVISORS HAD TROUBLE VOTING FOR A BOGUS AERIAL ADVERTISING BAN NEAR THE SO-CALLED “RACE COURSE.”
We are all part of ONESF: Celebrate the Cup and we are looking forward to our summer of sailing.
THAT’S NOT TRUE AT ALL. DO YOU BELIEVE _ANYTHING_ YOU SAY?
With the majestic San Francisco Bay serving as a natural amphitheater, for the first time in the history of the Cup, spectators will be able to view the race from the shoreline.
MEH. NOBODY CARES IRL
San Francisco is the proud host of The Cup.
After regaining the Cup in Valencia, Spain, Team USA (Oracle Racing) brought the Cup back to the US for the first time in more than 15 years, and the series of races will deliver significant economic development and jobs to the Bay Area, including a major investment in the San Francisco waterfront that will benefit the City for decades to come.
DID ORACLE RACING WIN BEFORE 2010? I DON’T THINK SO. LARRY ELLISON’S RECORD IN THE WORLD CUP IS 1-2 (.333). HIS VICTORY WAS _EXTREMELY_ BORING. IT WAS WON IN COURTROOMS. AND HOW ARE YOU SO SURE ABOUT THE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT? MAYBE IT WON’T END UP BEING “SIGNIFICANT?” AND WEREN’T WE PAYING FOR THE CRUISE SHIP TERMINAL ANYWAY?
These races are heart pounding extreme action sports that appeal to both sailing and non-sailing fans alike.
THIS IS EXACTLY WRONG.
Building on its long legacy of technical innovation, the Cup has introduced new racing formats, faster boats and cutting-edge television graphics that are transforming the sport into an easy to understand, live spectator event for the first time in the Cup’s storied history.
THIS IS MOSTLY WRONG.
For three full months this summer, a series of high-intensity races and activities will take place along the San Francisco waterfront.
THIS IS MOSTLY WRONG.
The racing will take place in front of tens of thousands of spectators on San Francisco Bay with millions of live television and online viewers watching around the world.
WE’LL SEE. WHAT’S THE PAID ATTENDANCE SO FAR? OH, THAT LITTLE?
We are proud to have NBC as the Event’s broadcast partner in the United States. NBC and NBC Sports will broadcast all the important events live, and together with the international broadcast network (more than 190 countries and territories), these events will attract a cumulative global audience of millions.
WHAT KIND OF EVENT REQUIRES THE BROADCASTER TO GET PAID? I’LL TELL YOU, A SAD-SACK EVENT. AND WHY ISN’T LARRY ELLISON PAYING THE GENERAL FUND AN EVENT FEE?
We are excited for the international attention and economic development potential that The Cup has already brought to San Francisco, and those yet to be realized. Please join us as we truly stand tall as ONESF and together, Celebrate The Cup.
THIS THING IS A COMPLETE STINKBURGER, ONE THAT YOU YOURSELF DECIDED TO SKIP DURING THE OPENING CEREMONIES, RIGHT?
Edwin M. Lee
Mayor of the City and County of San Francisco
PERHAPS YOU AND THE COMPLETE BOARD OF SUPERVISORS WERE OUTNEGOTIATED HERE? PERHAPS GAVIN NEWSOM DIDN’T REALLY CARE HOW MUCH THE COMMONWEAL PAID BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BECOME THE “AMBASSADOR” OF THE AMERICA’S CUP? PERHAPS ED LEE MANAGES HIS PERSONAL FINANCIAL AFFAIRS BETTER THAN THE PUBLIC’S? WHY IS THAT?
HOW DID WE GET SO INVOLVED WITH LITTLE LARRY’S LITTLE BOAT RACE? WHAT CAN WE DO TO AVOID FUTURE FIASCOS LIKE THIS?
WE SHOULD HAVE A TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION COMMISSION WHEN THIS IS ALL DONE.
Mount Tamalpais* (West Peak with former military base, East Peak with former ranger station)
Fog over the Golden Gate
Cityscape (with the Bank of America Building, One Rincon and the Transamerica Building standing out)
San Francisco Bay (aka the “racecourse” of the already-failed 34th America’s Cup)
Click to expand
*Hey, was the top of the West Peak higher ’til the Air Force blowed it up for missile base housing? I think so.
Like maybe you guys can watch TV on a big screen or something during the America’s Cup, you know, that event the “little people” across the Bay paid for, you know, so that pretty-boy man-child former Mayor Gavin Newsom (IQ = 95, look it up) could be named “America’s Cup ‘Ambassador’ at Large.”
(And then he blows off the Opening Ceremony because he knows what a stink bomb it’s become, oh well.)
Anywho, up in Marin County people like Olivia Hsu Decker still think that the America’s Cup is a good reason for real estate inflation. See below.
“$45,000,000 Belvedere Waterfront Home on San Francisco Bay to be Auctioned with a Starting Bid of $25,000,000
The perfect location to entertain during the America’s Cup
SAN FRANCISCO, July 10, 2013 — The newly constructed “Villa Belvedere,” a hi-tech, “Certified Green” home, is known as the finest in Northern California. Previously listed for $45 million and located on the prestigious South Shore of Belvedere Island on San Francisco Bay, it will be offered at auction with a minimum bid of $25 million and no reserve. The deadline to submit a bid is August 22nd. Luxury home auction consultant, Guy Masters, has been engaged by the seller in cooperation with listing agent Olivia Decker of Decker Bullock Sotheby’s International Realty to market this unparalleled property.
The appx. 15,176-square-foot, newly constructed residence features 7 bedrooms, 9 full baths + 2 half baths, and over 5,000 square feet of waterfront terraces. Breathtaking views of The Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, Bay Bridge, Alcatraz, and Sausalito can be seen from nearly every room. The gated and lushly landscaped 1.14-acre double lot includes a 200-foot driveway and motor court, providing parking for 15+ cars. Amenities include a theatre, wine cellar, gym with sauna/steam rooms, elevator, 50-foot gallery/entertainment room with bar/ catering kitchen, and pool with cabana/spa, while Smart-House technology operates home systems from iPhone or iPad on site or from anywhere in the world with internet access.
Painstakingly designed and constructed over four years, this magnificent residence was the 2012 Marin Designer Showcase. “I started with the world-class site, then I worked with my design team to create a home whose luxury and style equals the world-class panoramic views created by Mother Nature,” says Jeff Paster, the owner. Ms. Decker adds, “In my 30 years of marketing luxury homes in the Bay Area, this home is truly one-of-a-kind, like a rare Picasso or Rothko, and appropriate to offer at auction to connoisseurs of luxury homes.”
The property may be previewed by appointment or by attending one of the special viewing events. Brokers protected. For auction information and Terms and Conditions, please contact Guy Masters: 1-707-331-0525 or visit www.BelvedereAuction.com.
SOURCE Guy Masters, Auction Consultant
Guy Masters, Auction Consultant
Web Site: http://www.belvedereauction.
Oh poor Larry Ellison!
Apparently, having the taxpayers of San Francisco fund his boat race debacle is taxing his nerves.
“Larry talked to me candidly about the challenge of working with the city. So if he wins again, I would guess that unless the city comes up with a lot of money to keep the cup here, it’s going elsewhere. Larry’s not going to keep funding it himself. Personally, I can’t imagine that there would be an America’s Cup in San Francisco again.”
Now, does Larry have an official spokesmodel? (I don’t think so. Else Larry might have issued a statement after the death of Andrew Simpson.) So I guess Julian Guthrie is serving in this capacity? OK fine.
Uh, Larry Ellison/Julian Guthrie, don’t you realize that the City of San Francisco is funding the 2013 America’s Cup?
So, Larry Ellison, it’s you who owes us money, not the other way ’round.
That’s Issue One.
Issue Two is this: Julian Guthrie, you’ve ridden this douche canoe so far upriver that you’ve lost touch with reality. You have access, but what have you done with it?
One way that you can tell that the America’s Cup isn’t the third largest sporting event in the world is that our Mayor no-showed the opening ceremony.
Anyway, here’s your yachting match in a nutshell.
That Looey Vweetone Neverfull bag says Piers “27-29″ on it, for some reason:
Click to expand – photo by Anonymous
In somewhat related news:
I understand that Mayor Ed Lee has a cheerleading function as a part of his job. Fine.
But what’s this? What the Hell?
“We expect to have some 500,000 people on a daily basis…”
Take a look on the YouTube, at around 9:30 and, mind you, this is AFTER everything blew up and people started realizing that the 2013 America’s Cup won’t be anywhere near as popular as advertised:
So, does Ed Lee actually believe that there’s a chance that the America’s Cup will attract anything close to a half million people “on a daily basis?”
No he does not.
So why did he say it?
Anyway, here’s the so-called village on a day when it was supposed to full of so-called America’s Cup fans:
Word around City Hall is that befuddled Mayor Ed Lee, our very own Mr. Magoo, is a little peeved with Larry Ellison and the AC crew.
(Not that Ed Lee or his longtime minion and spokesmodel Christine Falvey would ever admit to there being the slightest problem with anything Ed Lee has ever done or been told to do by Willie Brown or Gavin Newsom or Rose Pak. To wit, Ed Lee’s failed “stop and frisk” proposals from last year. That one was just another feather in Ed Lee’s cap, per CF)
Now, what the heck is “America’s Cup: Economic Impacts of a Match on San Francisco Bay?” Is it the “Independent Study” what everybody cites as proof of how great the AC is going to be?
I think it is!
Let’s take a look at the first line:
“The America’s Cup is the world’s third-largest sporting competition, after the Olympics and soccer’s World Cup.”
Here it is in the flesh:
So, let’s think about this here. I guess the bullshit Bay Area Council Economic Institute (BACEI) organization is allowing that the Summer Olympics and the World Cup just might possibly be bigger than an America’s Cup. But what about the Winter Olympics? Oh, and what about the Super Bowl?
Who actually believes that the America’s Cup, that thing that NBC needs to be paid in order to broadcast, is actually going to be bigger than a Super Bowl?
Not even the cheerleaders.
So why do they say these kinds of things?
All right here’s one more thing from the messed-up study what’s going to cost the taxpayers of San Francisco tens of millions of dollars. It discusses, and I’m srlsy, the “fleet of super yachts” what are going to be attracted to the bay area due to the America’s Cup, and then it talks about how much money we’re going to make by gassing them up and Windexing the shiny parts and stuff like that.
These cheerleaders are members of a modern day Cargo Cult and we’re all along for the ride.
Why are we funding Larry Ellison’s ego trip of a boat race?
To review, IRL:
“The world’s most popular sport may be soccer, but in cold, hard dollars, nobody throws a party like the National Football League.
• 1. Super Bowl
• 2. Summer Olympics
• 3. FIFA World Cup
• 4. Daytona 500
• 5. Rose Bowl
• 6. NCAA Men’s Final Four
• 7. Winter Olympics Games
• 8. Kentucky Derby
• 9. World Series
• 10. NBA Finals”
The America’s Cup, you will note, is not on this list.
So let’s hear from America’s Cup 2013 Safety Committee member Jim Farmer, QC [Her Majesty's Counsel learned* in the law]:
“The City of San Francisco is very unhappy with the promised financial bonanza being anything but.”
Heretofore, everything that could have gone wrong with the 2013 America’s Cup has gone wrong. All we can do now is hope that no one else dies for the sake of Larry Ellison’s ego.
And is this America’s Cup going to be the last big thing Larry Ellison does before he dies?
So there’s this – it’s the kind of thing called Harsh Reality Time:
“Much of the vision, it is now apparent, has turned to custard. Larry Ellison’s prediction that there would be a dozen or more challengers (up to 15 perhaps) looks absurd with only 3 challengers making it to the start line and one of them not yet ready to race. The City of San Francisco is very unhappy with the promised financial bonanza being anything but. The tragic death of Andrew Simpson when the first (and so far only) Artemis boat disintegrated as it collapsed has cast a pall over the Event from which even the spectacular speed of these boats is unlikely to clear away.“
And there’s this:
“One has to hope most earnestly that there is no further disaster. So far these boats have not yet raced in anger and that has to be the major concern. Two boats, each sailing at over 40 knots and closing from opposing tacks at a mark at an effective combined speed of 80 knots, is not for the faint-hearted. Getting crew down safely or out of the water from a boat that has capsized remains a serious challenge even for sailors who are well equipped, fit and trained to deal with that situation as best they can. Fortunately, sanity prevailed with one of the Regatta Director’s safety recommendations being a prohibition on corporate guests sitting on the back of one of these racing machines. How crazy was that idea in the first place?”
Oh, and there’s this:
“…it will be economics that will prevent the next edition of the Cup under Ellison’s control being a success. Three challengers this time. It is hard to see any of those challengers continuing with the same model of the Event next time. Yes, there will be others who will be happy to do the A45 thing, as there were this time, but the question will be whether (billionaires aside) more than one or two will be able to go to the next stage – which is the America’s Cup after all. And even the viability of the AC45 circuit must be uncertain. The existing model of cities paying all the costs of each mini-event, including the cost of getting the 45s there, just didn’t work this time, with a number of planned events being cancelled because of lack of financial support.”
Anyway, the point is that Appointed Mayor and Willie Brown butt-boy Ed Lee knows that this venture is a big flop, but he’s afraid to say or do anything about it.
Monstrous Big Red, a ticking time bomb that went off a couple months ago:
*Pepe: “Wow, Papa Homer, you are so learn-ed.” Homer: “It’s pronounced “learned.’”