Posts Tagged ‘Americas Cup’

PRADA Makes a Mockery of the America’s Cup Safety Review Committee – Foiling Past Larry Ellison’s Paper Tiger

Monday, May 20th, 2013

Here’s the latest from the Larry Ellison People:

We appreciate the vote of confidence Mr. Bertelli, president of Luna Rossa Challenge, gave to the America’s Cup continuing as planned this summer on San Francisco Bay,”

Uh no. What you’re getting from Mr. Bertelli is NOT a vote of confidence.

In fact, it’s the opposite.

Let me show y0u. The Larry Ellison Safety Review Committee, which, of course, is reviewing, not investigating, oh no, never investigating, perish the thought, the safety issues created by, can you guess, anyone, anyone, that’s right, Larry Ellison, issued this statement last week:

“…teams have been asked to suspend all sailing in AC72 and AC45 catamarans until the middle of next week.”

Hey, how do you say “fuck you, Larry Ellison,” you know, en Italiano?

I think you say it like this:

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Hey, is the SFPD doing a possible homicide investigation right about now? I think so. Think on that, Larry Ellison People. Think on that while trying to figure out how the very same “America’s Cup Family” that has brought us, already, the worst AC in history, is going to investigate itself, I’m sorry, review itself in a fair an impartial way.

Hey, doesn’t the Safety Review Committee have a whole mess of conflicts? Would you like me to list them for you? (Pillow Talk: “Hey Honey, do you think…”)

And that Artemis “Big Red” AC72 _didn’t_ fold up, as reported, “like a taco shell?”  So how did it fold up? Like a chalupa? Oh, what’s that, it didn’t fold up at all? Is that what you’re saying?   

The former Big Red upon San Francisco Bay, as seen last year, a ticking time bomb that went off this month, more expensive than some of the jetliners that flew above it, and more expensive and about as tall as some jetliners are long. And yet if you were killed flying to Vegas there’d be a big big investigation, right? And what’s the response from the Larry Ellison People? It’s if you want to make an omelette, you’re going to have to break some eggs.   

Now let’s hear from an AC72 crew member:

“I hope like hell that whoever survives this thing and wins it changes the boat class to anything safer than these God-forsaken death traps.”

Our Fucked America’s Cup: Larry Ellison’s Huge AC72 Yachts Called “Death Traps” by Crew Member

Monday, May 13th, 2013

Via Andrew Alderson of The New Zealand Herald comes this quote from an America’s Cup 2013 competitor:

“I hope like hell that whoever survives this thing and wins it changes the boat class to anything safer than these God-forsaken death traps.”

That’s not a vote of confidence, Larry Ellison.

Larry Ellison giving the finger to the world with one hand whilst steering his yacht with the other:

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Here’s What the Artemis Racing AC72 America’s Cup Yacht Looked Like Getting Hauled Out – Folded Up “Like a Taco Shell”

Saturday, May 11th, 2013

You can see  a little bit of the port hull and also the places where it ripped away:

Hauling out Artemis AC72 by Turtle Moon World

From the Newcastle Herald:

‘Nathan told me [the turn] didn’t seem any different to any other occasion,’’ Mr Outteridge said.

‘‘The bow dug in a little bit but he said that’s not unusual.

‘‘The next thing he heard a cracking noise and the boat went on its side.

‘‘Before it capsized it snapped in half, Nathan described it as folding like a taco shell.’’

And:

“A quick head count revealed one member of the crew was missing – Andrew Simpson – triggering a desperate search.

The British two-time Olympic gold medallist was trapped underwater, wedged underneath ‘‘a few tonnes’’ of carbon fibre, frantically trying to free himself.

His crew members could see him, fighting for his life and dived beneath the water to try to set him free.

They  handed the man they called ‘‘Bart’’ emergency oxygen bottles – which hold about 10 breaths each – in a bid to keep him alive in the hope rescue crews would arrive in time.

Just Look at How Tall the Artemis Racing AC72 Boat Was – Would Canceling the America’s Cup be a Good Idea?

Friday, May 10th, 2013

Larry Ellison knows that the AC72 standard is too large for the 2013 America’s Cup, yet on we go.

Perhaps, under the circumstances, the teams could all use the AC45 design this go-around?

As she looked last year, before the wreck of May 9, 2013 near Treasure Island: 

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CW Nevius Spanking Machine: “America’s Cup will be good for SF” – ORLY?

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Of course, the solution to all of the problems associated with Larry Ellison’s boat race is to have Larry Ellison pay for Larry Ellison’s boat race, don’t you think? I’d say about $40,000,000 would cover it, and thousands of people agree – just check out one of the petitions.

But CW Nevius is cheerleading for Larry full-tilt NO MATTER WHAT – let’s have a look:

“The financial landscape has changed. As reported this week, fundraising efforts have fallen well short of a projected $32 million.”

OH LORD. SO, WHEN DID OUR GREAT RECESSION BEGIN, SHALL WE SAY 2008 OR SO? ALL RIGHT, SO WHEN DID SFGOV / AMERICA’S CUP LACKEY KYRI McCLELLAN LAST COMMIT TO RAISING $40 MILLION FOR SAN FRANCISCO? LATE 2011, RIGHT? (SEE BELOW*) SO HOW DOES THAT WORK? ISN’T THE “FINANCIAL LANDSCAPE” ACTUALLY BETTER NOW IN 2013? I THINK SO. MAYBE PEOPLE WERE LYING? I THINK SO. OR MAYBE NEVIUS IS SAYING THAT THE FINANCIAL LANDSCAPE OF THE CUP ITSELF HAS CHANGED? BUT, CW, THERE WAS NO MONEY TO BEGIN WITH, THERE WAS NO $10 BILLION IN “FINANCIAL IMPACT,” THERE WAS NO “FLEET OF SUPER YACHTS” THAT WAS GOING TO COME IN AND RAIN DOWN MONEY ON US. IT WAS ALL MADE UP.

“…this will still basically be a break-even prospect for the city and a boost for the Bay Area’s economy.”

WELL THAT’S WHAT _YOU_ THINK, THAT’S WHAT YOU SAY. SOME WILL BENEFIT, SOME WILL LOSE. BUT IS IT REALLY SUCH A NOVEL IDEA TO HAVE LARRY ELLISON PAY FOR LARRY ELLISON’S BOAT RACE? DID WE EVEN ASK HIM?

“The anticipated windfall may not materialize, but the money won’t be taken from the general fund.”

WELL THAT’S WHAT _YOU_ THINK, NEVIUS.

“Instead of the mandated $64 an hour (yikes!), some contractors were paying as little as $27 an hour.”

COUNT THESE PEOPLE, THOSE UNSKILLED LABORERS MAKING 700% MORE THAN MARKET WAGES, AMONG THE WINNERS.

“However, Barkley had a good comeback. The Event Authority has arranged to reimburse the workers who were underpaid.”

UH NO, THAT’S _NOT_ A GOOD COMEBACK. WHY WOULD THEY AGREE TO PAY PREVAILING WAGE AND THEN NOT PAY PREVAILING WAGE? MAYBE THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING?

“As deadlines approach, you can expect more sniping at the event – some reasonable, some pure political posturing, and some that is simply absurd.”

UH, SNIPING AT THE POOR DEAL THE CITY HAS STRUCK? SNIPING AT ALL THE CORRUPTION AND LIES THAT WE’RE DISCOVERING? ARE YOU ALLOWING THAT THAT’S REASONABLE THING TO DO, NEVIUS? ACTUALLY, I THINK YOU’D PREFER A WELL-NEGOTIATED AMERICA’S CUP DEAL OVER WHAT WE HAVE BUT YOU’RE  PRETTY MUCH INDIFFERENT. IT’S NOT YOUR MONEY THAT’S BEING WASTED AND YOU, THE SHARP-AS-A-MARBLE, EX-JOCK, EVERYMAN NEWS COLUMNIST/QUASI SPORTSWRITER, PROBABLY LOOK FORWARD TO ANY SPORTING-TYPE EVENT COMING TO TOWN, NO MATTER WHAT THE COST, NO MATTER HOW MUCH CORRUPTION.

“Those who complain that the Cup is taking place in a wealthy neighborhood that doesn’t need the benefit are an example of the latter. It’s a sailboat race. It pretty much has to be near the water.”

OH YOU SO FUNNY, NEVIUS! ACTUALLY, I THINK AVALOS WAS LOOKING FOR THE AC34 PEOPLE TO THROW A BONE TO THE OUTER DISTRICTS. SO THAT’S NOT SO “ABSURD,” IN FACT.

“It all boils down to a single question: Would you rather have this event here or not?”

OOH, THAT’S EASY! LET’S NOT HAVE THIS POORLY-NEGOTIATED EVENT HERE UNLESS LARRY ELLISON WANTS TO PAY FOR IT.

“In fact, Farrell put it very nicely at the end of the hearing.”The bottom line is this is going to be a great event at zero cost to the city,” he said.”

THAT WHAT HE SAYS. WE’LL SEE HOW IT GOES. THE FACT IS THAT DEAL WAS POORLY NEGOTIATED BY OUR SHORT-SIGHTED POLITICIANS. AND WHAT IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE NOT A GREAT EVENT. WHAT THEN?

“We’re talking about (an estimated) $900 million in economic activity and (a potential) 6,500 jobs. A lot of cities would pay a lot for that.”

UH, THE ORIGINAL ESTIMATE WAS 9.9 BILLION. THEN 1.4, THEN .7-SOMETHING AND NOW, APPARENTLY, $.9 BILLION IN “ECONOMIC IMPACT,” WHATEVER THE HELL THAT MEANS. ALL THESE ESTIMATES ARE NOTHING BUT HOCUS-POCUS FROM PEOPLE WHO REALLY, REALLY WANT AC34 TO BE PUT ON IN SF, NO MATTER WHAT THE COST. AND OH, HERE’S A QUERY: WOULD MARK FARRELL BE SUPERVISOR WITHOUT THE ASSISTANCE OF THOMAS COATES? OH NO, LORD NO.  WITHOUT TOM COATES, FARRELL WOULD BE JUST ANOTHER ANONYMOUS WHITE MILLIONAIRE DUDE WHO GREW UP A RICH KID IN THE MARINA. HERE’S THE THING: COATES LIKES BOATS. OH, AND WHAT YOU MEAN IS GIGS, NOT “JOBS,” MR. FARRELL. AND IF A LOT OF CITIES WOULD PAY FOR AC34, WHY NOT LET THEM?

“Then he went for the big finish. ”World-class cities put on world-class events,” he said. “And I think our city is going to shine.”

WORLD-CLASS CORRUPTION, FROM WORLD-CLASS LIARS, YEP.

“Sing it, Mr. Supervisor.”

YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING BROWN-NOSING, OBSEQUIOUS KISS-ASS LICKSPITTLE TOADIE, YOU KNOW THAT, CW NEVIUS? (OH, AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE FARRELL’S PHONE NUMBER UNTIL TWO WEEKS _AFTER_ HE GOT ELECTED? YEP. HEH. YOU BELIEVED IN HIM _THAT_ MUCH, HUH?)

IN MITIGATION, I DIDN’T SEE THE PHRASE ‘NATURAL AMPHITHEATRE” ANYWHERE IN YOUR ESSAY, NEVIUS, SO THANKS FOR THAT.

IN AGGRAVATION, THE ABHORRENT PHRASE “WORLD-CLASS” APPEARED TWICE. (AND “WIN-WIN,” WELL, YOU DIDN’T SAY IT, BUT YOU WERE THINKING IT SO WE’LL CALL THAT A WASH.)

DIAL-A-CLICHE SCORECARD:

*Here it is, America’s Cup Project Update from September 2011. Now I’ll tell you, the “commitment” that Organizing Committee “CEO” Kyle McClellan (she actually was on both sides of this deal – it’s kind of a scandal) is talking about is “endeavoring” to raise $32 million or $40 million or whatever.  What she actually says is a bit different though. It seems as if she thinks (or thought, back in 2011) that her commitment was to actually raise the promised money as opposed to just trying to raise the promised money.

I think we are on track to meet the commitments of the host city agreement at the end of this year. We are out in the marketplace raising those funds and we have a great operational model with the event authority on — we provide corporate sponsor introductions and they help facilitate our outreach to philanthropists whether individuals or families and are providing us with the assets that are necessary.

“So when you ask someone for a seven figure gift, we can articulate the benefits that are coming to the city for that, helping us pay for environmental review and pay for the transit and doing it the San Francisco Way. The folks who made early commitments to us before we had our tax exempt status are really proud of the way it is unfolding. as more definition comes to the plan and people have a better understanding of the community benefits, what are the youth opportunities, what are the workforce and job plans and that is unfolding the next three months so we are going out to sell those opportunities for folks to help us facilitate our obligations.

“Generally I say I’m raising $40 million if you count the $32 million specified in the host city agreement. There is a bond provision and other obligations, whether taxes or utilities, garbage. Then I have the operational expenses. So if you roll it all up, a little bit of contingency, I think we are generally comfortable saying we are raising $40 million.”

Uploaded on Sep 21, 2011

This Press Conference held at San Francisco City Hall unveils schedules for America’s Cup racing around the world for the next three years, culminating in the ultimate America’s Cup held in San Francisco in 2013.”

The Simpsons had a Monorail, We have the America’s Cup: “Benefits” Slashed 90% from $10 Billion

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

Oh, no no no no no. The original estimate of the “economic benefits” (whatever the Hell that amorphous amorphism means) of the 34th America’s Cup was $9.9 B-as-in-boy billion.

Check it:

So that means that the supposed “benefits” of AC34 have dropped more than 90% as the costs continue to rise.

This mounting scandal is the talk of the town - it’ll be on Forum at 9:00 AM:

“America’s Cup organizers are falling short in their efforts to raise private donations to help pay for the cost of bringing the America’s Cup sailing competition to San Francisco — and that could leave the city on the hook for about $20 million. The Board of Supervisors holds hearings Wednesday to discuss the shortfall. Supporters say even without all of the promised private funds, the city still benefits financially from hosting the America’s Cup.

Host: Michael Krasny 

Guests:

  • Jane Sullivan, city spokesperson for the America’s Cup
  • John Avalos, San Francisco supervisor representing District 11″

In closing, fuck you, you deadbeat Larry Ellison.

And here’s the news from last year:

I understand that Mayor Ed Lee has a cheerleading function as a part of his job. Fine.

But what’s this? What the Hell?

“We expect to have some 500,000 people on a daily basis…” 

Just take a look on the YouTube, at around 9:30 and, mind you, this is AFTER everything blew up and people started realizing that the 2013 America’s Cup won’t be anywhere near as popular as advertised:

So, does Ed Lee actually believe that there’s a chance that the America’s Cup will attract anything close to a half million people “on a daily basis?”

No he does not.

So why does he say it?

Mmmm…

Now, speaking of cheerleading, @olivaglobal is the dude who was hired by the San Francisco Chronicle to promote the America’s Cup over the next 1.5 years. Here he goes:

That est was only for final match wknd. Rainy Tues est is 10K-20K LOL. Srsly look at plan.” 

So what’s the estimate, for real, for the crowd size on a off day during the AC? Appears as if these two AC34 cheerleaders are out of sync.

Now, speaking of studies, what the Hell is The America’s Cup: Economic Impacts of a Match on San Francisco Bay?Is it the “Independent Study” what everybody cites as proof of how great the AC is going to be?

I think it is!

Let’s take a look at the first line:

“The America’s Cup is the world’s third-largest sporting competition, after the Olympics and soccer’s World Cup.”

Here it is in the flesh:

So, let’s think about this here. I guess the bullshit Bay Area Council Economic Institute (BACEI) organization is allowing that the Summer Olympics and the World Cup just might possibly be bigger than an America’s Cup. But what about the Winter Olympics? Oh, and what about the Super Bowl?

Who actually believes that the America’s Cup, that thing where half the staff just got laid off and NBC needs to be paid in order to broadcast, is actually going to be bigger than a Super Bowl?

Nobody.

Not even the cheerleaders.

So why do they say these kinds of things?

All right here’s one more from the messed-up study what’s going to cost the taxpayers of San Francisco tens of millions of dollars. It discusses, and I’m srlsy, the “fleet of super yachts” what are going to be attracted to the bay area due to the America’s Cup, and then it talks about how much money we’re going to make by gassing them up and Windexing the shiny parts and stuff like that.

I’m srsly.

These cheerleaders are members of a modern day Cargo Cult and we’re all along for the ride.

And oh, we’re going to get the Golden State Warriors without funding the stadium at Piers 30-32? All right, so why then are we funding Larry Ellison’s ego trip of a boat race? Why are we allowing Him to get away with this?

I know not.

Screw the America’s Cup.

The world’s most popular sport may be soccer, but in cold, hard dollars, nobody throws a party like the National Football League.

• 1. Super Bowl

• 2. Summer Olympics

• 3. FIFA World Cup

• 4. Daytona 500

• 5. Rose Bowl

• 6. NCAA Men’s Final Four

• 7. Winter Olympics Games

• 8. Kentucky Derby

• 9. World Series

• 10. NBA Finals”

OMG, Sting Plays Frisco June 2nd! At the “America’s Cup Pavilion?” Yes – That’s the New Name for Piers 27-29

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

I’ll tell you, I don’t know why former Mayor Gavin Newsom trying to cut a sweetheart deal with Oracle billionaire Larry Ellison in exchange for being made Honorable, Grand Exalted Ambassador at Large for the America’s Cup 2013 isn’t considered a form of bribery, but there you go.

Anyway, the upshot is that Sting will have a place to perform his greatest hits in the 415 on June 2nd, 2013. Ticks go on sale February 22nd. Deets below.

Uh, how many motor yachts are going to putt-putt across the Atlantic and through the Panama canal to see a staged race of overly-large catamarans and how much money will the Eurotrash spend in town while they’re here? Not as many/much as “projected,” that’s for sure. Presenting your wasteful (and yet somehow “sustainable”) America’s Cup 34:

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All the deets, after the jump.

Sting: Back To Bass Tour Extends Through 2013

NEW NORTH AMERICAN & EUROPEAN DATES ANNOUNCED

Performing His Most Celebrated Hits, Stripped Down With A 5-Piece Band

(more…)

Sea Trials for Artemis Racing in San Francisco Bay – Preparing for America’s Cup 2013

Tuesday, November 20th, 2012

These AC72 boats are pretty tall, huh?

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OMG, Ride the E-Line “Twin Torpedos” for Free This Weekend! Volunteer to be a Temporary Streetcar Docent

Monday, October 1st, 2012

How would you like to volunteer as a docent helping out with the new-school / old-school E-line on October 6-7, 2012?

First, some background about how busy the 415 will be this weekend:

“Looking at what’s scheduled for that weekend, there might not be room in the city for many more people, much less cars. First, there’s the free Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival in Golden Gate Park, a three-day event that drew about 800,000 people last year. That Sunday afternoon, the 49ers play the Buffalo Bills at Candlestick Park, while the Giants are hoping for weekend playoff games at AT&T Park, all guaranteed sellouts. About 60,000 people typically attend the Castro Street Fair, scheduled for that Sunday, while thousands more will jam North Beach for the annual Italian Heritage Parade at 12:30 on the same day. A different crowd will probably be at the Burning Man Decompression street fair, also that Sunday afternoon. To add to the fun, two mega cruise ships are expected to dock at Pier 35 over the weekend, disgorging thousands more tourists. Then, of course, there’s Fleet Week, which brings thousands of sailors and as many as a million visitors to the waterfront for the weekend.”

So you’ll be needed to help out all the visitors moving around on the Twin Torpedos, streetcars 1006 and 1008:

“We need several more docents to work the stops along the E-line on October 6 and 7, helping riders find the right platform and providing information about the service. We have docent books prepared by Paul Lucas, so it’s easy to learn what to do. If you’re interested, send us an email and we’ll get back to you.”

Click to expand

Act now.

Marina District Gratified by All the White People Who Showed Up for America’s Cup – But Says No to Regular Tourists

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

Work with me here. The recent America’s Cup scrimmage event up in San Francisco’s Great White North got this kind of reaction in the pages of the Marina Times:

“This event brought exactly the right kind of crowd to the Marina.”

Uh, white people with some extra folding money to spend – that kind of crowd?

Mmmm…

Anyway, you’d think that the friendly Marinites would similarly welcome the Feds landing Alcatraz tour boats at Fort Mason, right?

No.

Let’s hear from socially awkward, born-into-the-one-percent District Two Supervisor Mark Farrell in the very same pages of the Marina Times:

“The National Park Service’s (NPS) intention to study Fort Mason as a possible location for its Alcatraz tour ferry service is one of those ideas with serious and long-lasting impacts that must immediately be put to rest.”

(Yeah, it’s one of those ideas, huh? So like, Alex, I want “Ideas with serious and long-lasting impacts that must immediately be put to rest” for $1600?”)

Apparently, one set of aquatic tourists is the best thing in the world and another set of aquatic tourists is the worst thing in the world?

OK fine.

Hey Marina, look at this! You think the future can’t cross a bridge ride through a tunnel?

Now here’s the kicker. The reason why the white people of the Marina are worried about the Fort Mason proposal is that it’s a lead pipe cinch, owing to the lack of NIMBY laws on federal land:

“What makes the idea even more distressing to residents and establishments in the Marina is the lack of local environmental review and input that would be available. The NPS stated that environmental review of the Fort Mason site would be conducted under the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA) and not under the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA), because Fort Mason is federal property. Without a CEQA process in place for Fort Mason, the enormous changes contemplated in the Marina will never be considered by our local government, and any NEPA appeal would have to take place in Washington through the federal courts. In my letter to the NPS, I asked that since they are prepared to undergo a CEQA analysis for the sites located at the Port of San Francisco piers, they should do the same for the NPS-owned piers at Fort Mason…”

So, don’t come here, Feds. Don’t come here where it’s super easy to do business, you know, without dealing with millionaire NIMBYs for decades, oh no, don’t even think about it! Feds, you must immediately put the idea “to rest.”

Well, we’ll just have to wait and see how that works…