San Francisco Citizen

[UPDATE: Oh, skip to the bottom to get to the 9000 part if you don't already know who The Nevius is...]

Nevius, don’t you have anybody to look over your words before you hit the send button? Were you hired through President Ford’s Operation Bootstrap? I mean, do you think you’re smarter than anybody else at the Chronicle? Well, you’re not.

So, really, you should work extra hard instead of sitting on your ass waiting for Mayor Ed Lee or Police Chief Greg Suhr or D.A. George Gascon or Willie Brown or Rose Pak (just guessing on this one) or Randy Shaw or Supervisor Sean Elsbernd or Supervisor Mark Farrell or Travel San Francisco or Plan C or the Chamber of Commerce or the SFFD Union or the SFPD Union or the Union Square BID to call you up to tell you what to write in your next insipid column.

You are the Homer Simpson of Bay Area journalism. 

Now, speaking of transit protests, here’s your old column from last month:

“Despite cries of “Where’s the gun?” after the shooting, a .45-caliber pistol has appeared.”

What’s this? Spin? Wishful thinking? A mistake? Do you believe everything the SFPD tells you right when they tell you? Even when you wrote this, the story of the .45 was highly questionable. And now, of course, it’s been proven wrong. Any correction there? Any misgivings? No? All right, moving on…

“So far the only group that has gotten satisfaction out of this is the small group of nihilists from Tuesday’s protest. News blogs said they were 150 strong, but I counted only about 80 of them gathered in front of the TV news trucks at Dolores Park.”

“News blogs?” Plural? Which ones? Were they, by chance quoting Chronicle reporter Marisa Lagos? Let’s see what she had to say:

“About 150 people gathered in Dolores Park at 5 p.m. to protest Harding’s shooting and Bay Area police conduct in general.”

So what’s your point, Nevius? That news blogs suck? That Marisa Lagos, somebody who is much smarter than you and somebody who works harder than you, is wrong? That you don’t want to insult Marisa Lagos so you’ll put blame on SFist or some other entity that you don’t like anyway? That you’re merely a part-time columnist who just blew into town so you’re entitled to do a half-assed job?

It’s got to be something like that.

Oh, BTW, Nev, do you consider yourself, “The Voice of Reason?” Really?

Moving on…

Yesterday’s effort from you, The Nevius, well it’s not any better.

Now actually, the Tweets and whathaveyou that you’re relying on, Nev, consistently stated that “over 9000″ protesters were expected at the Monday evening Anonymous happenings. The reason why that’s important is because you’re dealing with an Internet meme.

So, when you say this kind of stuff…

“Despite threats of 9,000 protesters, Monday’s attendance was generously estimated at 200 at its peak.”

“I asked BART board President Bob Franklin if he really expected 9,000 protesters. ‘I thought that was overly optimistic,’ he said.”

“And, when predictions of thousands of demonstrators fizzles,”

…you look like an out-of-touch Bozo, because these estimates weren’t meant to be taken seriously.

Here’s the first hit on Google – it ably explains the meme.

And here’s where the crowd estimate that you and various other crackers from the East Bay and, for all I know, Police Chief Greg Suhr, came from:

Remember Oprah? She’s MSM too, or at least she was before she retired or whatever. Anyway, she’s not up-to-speed neither:

“This group has over 9000 penises, and they’re all raping children.”

How are you helping anything, Nevius?

Weren’t you happier in the East Bay?

Via Exiled Surfer