Posts Tagged ‘attack’

Exploring Alternatives to the Crowded, Problematic “The Wiggle” Bike Route – “RIDE OAK?” – Sure, or McAllister

Friday, August 14th, 2015

Here you go:

Due to police harassment on the SF Wiggle we have no choice but to ride Oak.”

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Well, let’s see, there are LOTS of reasons to not ride the vaunted THE WIGGLE route and also, there are other options asides from OAK.

But let’s consider Oak now. Oh, here’s famous fixie-riding Andy on the left side of Oak, from all the way back in aught-seven.

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And look, the dashed lines made a sort of bike lane on the left side – good times. (Unfortunately, this space for bikes is no longer there, due to subsequent restriping.)

Anywho, going straight on Oak instead of taking the Wiggle at Scott is nice because you’ve only got one sort of steep block. I see people take Oak all the time. Oak is good. Oak is fast. Oak is congested a lot of the time due to horrible horrible Octavia Boulevard (what was dreamed up by wealthy homeowners in Hayes Valley), so you’d spend some time weaving about, getting around drivers trying to get on the I-80 / the 101 superslabs, but that’s OK. I’ll add that Oak is for the adventurous, certainly.

So, Oak is far from being a ridiculous choice, a choice TO TEACH US ALL A LESSON about the dangers of the SFPD handing out citations. It’s a viable option.

Or what of Oak and Baker to Fulton to Divisadero to Mcallister to Market? This is THE UNWIGGLE with no wiggling at all betwixt Divis and Market. And look, you’ve defeated the rich people of HV who put a 105 foot wide BOULEVARD betwixt you and your destination, ’cause Octavia is but a nothingburger walking path / federal housing project parking lot on this route – it won’t slow you down at all.

Or Fulton? It’s a bit hillier than McAll and you’ve got big old City Hall in your way, but it’ll do.

Or Golden Gate? That works too.

Or Haight all the way to Fillmore, just to avoid the congested THE WIGGLE?

Notice that all these routes avoid “cycling” a bunch of people through the stop signs at WALLER and STEINER in the Lower Haight.

Those are some of your inbound routes.

As far as using Fell to go back home, well that’s CRAZY TOWN, that’s ill-advised. I rarely have seen that, in all my years.

IMO, the best way to get back is MCALLISTER

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…of course, there are other non-THE WIGGLE choices as well.

But feel free to do whatever you want, commiserate with this knucklehead, who lacks self-awareness, as you both deal with $238 tickets from John Law.

Just saying…

NIMBY’s vs. the SFMTA: Local Objections to New Traffic Signals on McAllister at Broderick and Scott for the 5 Fulton

Thursday, January 29th, 2015

This effort appears to be similar to the SFMTA’s attempt to add traffic signals on Haight at Scott and Pierce.

This isn’t the worst example of NIMBYism, but I’d say it’s fairly alarmist, fairly absurd.

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I’ll just say that, generally speaking, it’s generally harder to get around town these days by car, by bike and by MUNI, compared with ten or twenty years ago. Part of this has to do with our newer, absurdly-wide sidewalks, designed for pedestrian “comfort.”

And yet, most ped and cyclist deaths in San Francisco involve fault from the peds and cyclists. Here’s 2014:

The Police Department found that in the 17 pedestrian deaths, drivers were responsible for eight and pedestrians were responsible for nine. Bicyclists were responsible in all three instances when they died.” 

(I should do a video on how to be a pedestrian in SF. It might involve some jaywalking but it would also involve extreme alertness on behalf of peds. You see, the way to prevent a lot of ped deaths in SF would be to get inside their heads to see what’s going wrong.)

IMO, the SFMTA should leave McAllister alone and then start taking out as many bus stops as politically possible.

I’ll tell you, not that many cyclists pass by Broderick and McAllister compared with Scott and McAllister, it seems, owing to geography. So looking at McAllister and Scott, it seems that the lights will be timed against cyclists using FULTON DIVISADERO MCALLISTER eastbound as an alternative to the already-overcrowded Wiggle route to get from the Golden Gate Park Panhandle to the Financh.

So for my own selfish reasons, I’d prefer that MUNI not make these changes, but who am I to stand in their way? What the MUNI people are saying is that we’ll all be better off overall, and 40 seconds each way each day will add up to millions of seconds, eventually.

In conclusion, meh. If MUNI wants to put in lights, we should let them do it.

Know Your Foxes and Know Your Coyotes of Golden Gate Park – Both are Harmless – Tail Up or Tail Down?

Wednesday, January 28th, 2015

Get your 2015 coyote update from Hoodline.

Coyotes are small, brownish, wild dogs, basically. They run with their non-bushy tails held down.

Thusly, as seen on JFK Drive near the Bison Paddock, shortly before Fish and Game plumb blew this critter away, with a rifle:

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Lots of people don’t notice them, cause they hide most of the time. And sometimes, off-leash dog people flush them out, with bad results…

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But coyotes is harmless, despite what any SF Chronicle columnist from Walnut Creek might imply.

Years ago, I invited people to send in their photos of foxes and people only sent in photos of coyotes ID’ed as foxes, oh well. Moving on … to real foxes.

I’ll tell you, the Presidio has gray foxes, I understand, but I’ve never seen a gray fox.

Gray foxes belong in the bay area as a native species. OTOH, red foxes are exotics brought here for hunting.

The foxes seen over the years in GGP are all red, and they’re smaller than coyotes, and they run with their bushy tales held higher. Thusly:

As seen in GGP’s Strybing Arboretum, back before they changed their name and started charging admission:

This critter here was killed crossing over Crossover Drive, I believe, back in the aughts:

From about 175 feet away from the Primitive Garden in GGP. She’ll see you before you see her:

I haven’t seen the red foxes of GGP for a good long time. They took a hit when Rec and Park put out poison to kill vermin, like rats and mice.

Maybe I’ll never see a fox in Golden Gate Park ever again.

But coyotes, we’ve got tons of those. Just keep your pup on a leash and away from the coyotes and everything should be fine.

(Or simply tell the coyotes to “get the fuck out of here” – your choice.)

Harsh: “DON’T GET HAMMERED – TAKE A TAXICAB” – Oh Uber, Will You Ever Win?

Tuesday, December 30th, 2014

This of course is a reference to a very unfortunate incident.

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Our Local Gannett Co Inc CorpoBlog “The Bold Italic” Asks, “SHOULD ALL WOMEN UNINSTALL UBER?” – Why This Is Funny!

Friday, October 24th, 2014

Well, first off, I don’t know where the question comes from. Is it about stuff like the hammer attack and the “inefficient route” thing from LA?

Prolly.

And, IMO, it’s not even a sincere question. Hey, how about this instead?

“Should women consider uninstalling Uber?”

Something like that would have a better chance of NOT being dismissed as a straw dog.

Anyway, I’ll bet you that there are some PR people at UBER who might not exactly approve of this straw dog headline.

Having said that, I know what the answer is, without even looking at the bit, because UBER is the kind of place what “partners” with our local Gannett CorpoBlog.

See?

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So that’s why it’s funny.

[UPDATE: Whoo, well, I might have skipped through a few grafs there, but I just read the bit and here you go:

“For the record, I’m not suggesting that anyone uninstall Uber.”

So, the insincere question is answered with no, women should NOT uninstall Uber. So, the longstanding “partnerings” betwixt Uber and TBI are free to continue. Whew! 

And actually the whole bit was more about the sexy Lyon, France marketing stunt gone wrong as opposed to physical assaults, so that surprised me.

But this is fucking appalling:

“There have been a few incidents lately where Uber drivers have harassed their female passengers

Uh, abductions DO NOT EQUAL “harassment,” right? Uber drivers “harass” women each and every day, right? But didn’t these allegations relate to something like kidnapping and false imprisonment? I think so. Minimize that all you want, Gannett Co Inc. Feel free. And also feel to take your Women’s Studies major and … whoops, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean. Well, keep them coming, TBI. Keep them coming until your Virginia-based overseers ship your Page Street clubhouse on down to LA, reclaimed wood and all…]

“Wi-Ki-Bi-Thi!” – Militant Cyclists Lounge About the Panhandle to Intimidate Clavicle-Breaking Robbers – “WE KILL BIKE THIEVES”

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Perhaps I’m jumping to contusions, but this large crew of aggressively-lounging bike riders certainly appeared to be trying to send a message to a pair of area bike robbers making the news lately.

Strike a pose:

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And what does that T-shirt say? It’s all, “WE KILL BIKE THIEVES.”* How charming!

(I’ve seen lots of bike meetups in the Panhandle, but usually people ride off or start picnicking. Instead, this crew just sat around and glared, for hours, kind of like the guy on my JetBlue flight to DC a couple weeks after 9/11, arms crossed, standing near the cockpit and just staring at everybody just waiting for somebody to try something.)

I’l tell you, I’ve ridden the Panhandle bike path thousands of times in the early morning hours, after zero-dark-thirty, and I’ve never seen or heard of anything like this. Similar attacks occurred on the McAllister bike route in the projects / projecty Friendship Village Apartments near Webster, about ten years back, purportedly with a “lead pipe” (that probably wasn’t made of lead, but anyway).

Who knows, perhaps news of this kind of meet-up will spread, through word-on-the-street, until it reaches ears of these strong-arm robbers.

In any event, this small series of crimes certainly now has the attention of the SFPD – we’ll see how it goes. I’ll tell you, it’d be nice to have a retired/out-on-disability cop monitoring a network of London-style, high-def** crime cameras for the night shift of Park Station, but I don’t see anything like that happening soon. Oh well…

*$35! Take an aggressive stance against rampant bike theft with this bold, reflective graphic statement”

**I suppose we already have a kind of video network, what with local business cameras on 24-7 plus the low-def SFPD cams, but this is nothing like the high-def cams what a town like Stockton***, CA has…

***The cops over in Stockton laugh, just laugh at the SFPD’s low-def crime cam setup. 

Our Chinese Consulate is Still Struggling to Fix the Damage to Its Main Entrance from That Firebombing Nine Months Ago

Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

As seen on Laguna:

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When Visiting Chinatown, Be Sure To Take a Selfie with a Banksy – “Peaceful Hearts Doctor” at 799 Commercial Near Grant

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

Thusly. Strike a pose, mate: 

Click to expand, Gov’ner. Right!

Of course this shot was from back in the day, from back before the Black Paint Attack of 2013, which damaged the appearance of the famously peaceful heart doctor.

But a genuine 2010 Banksy is a genuine 2010 Banksy, right? So check it out the next time you’re on Eddy Grant Avenue – it’s electric!

Here’s your Map, from all the way back in 2011. Can you spot the Banksy

Sure you can!

How Old People Have Fun in the Outer Sunset: Posing for Photos – As Seen at 46th and Judah

Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Look up this photo yourself on the street view, if you want. This is right across the street from Trouble Coffee:

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He held this pose for a while.

Now let’s travel to Europe, where this kind of thing has gotten out of hand:

They had heard the mapping vehicle was in their tiny town that day, so they set up lounge chairs to sit while waiting. The whole sequence of photos is amusing. You should check it out, Gentle Reader

How Will the Signs for the Willie Brown Span of Our Bay Bridge Get Defaced? The Latest Odds

Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Ah, we’re just finding out about today’s big event.

So just as Herb Caen (1916-1997) got a party for Herb Caen Way in 1996, Willie Brown (1934- 20__) is getting a party for the Willie L. Brown Junior span of the Bay Bridge in 2014.

What are the odds, which type of attack will come first?

Spray Paint: 1 to 1 favorite

Willie Brown is almost universally despised. The naming of this bridge was never put to a vote because Willie Brown would never win it. Ergo, the masses will speak with spray paint, most likely.

Ranged Weapon: 3 to 1

A drive-by shooting with a paintball gun certainly is a possibility. Shooting at a sign with a handgun or rifle, well that’s getting cray-cray.

Close Quarters Combat Weapon: 5 to 1

Shotgun blast, also cray cray.

Chemical attack: 10 to 1

I don’t know how this would work. Perhaps using paint thinner or acid.

Other: 12 to 1

Who knows, medieval mace hurled and embedded, baseball bat, bowling ball, truckasuarus? The mind boggles.

So, do I think it’s appropriate to troll the voting (and non-voting) public into action with this misguided sign deal? Yes.

So, do I think that CalTrans or whomever should have a GoPro or two in the areas of these signs? Yes.

And who will be the happiest when the attacks make the news?

One Willie Brown, srsly. He’ll love the attention