Posts Tagged ‘audi’

It’s Probably Time to Peel the “TDI clean diesel” Sticker Off of Your Audi As Well

Monday, September 28th, 2015

The News of the Day:

“Audi said 2.1 million cars worldwide were fitted with the software that allowed parent Volkswagen to cheat U.S. emission tests. Some 1.42 million Audi vehicles with so-called EU5 engines are affected in Western Europe, with 577,000 in Germany and almost 13,000 in the United States, a spokesman for Ingolstadt-based Audi said on Monday. Affected model lines include the A1, A3, A4, A5, A6, TT, Q3 and Q5…”

Oh, and here’s the story of how things came to light.

Now this ride espied in Frisco the other day is too large to be powered by a two litre engine, but even so…

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Even so, Dude…


Friday, August 28th, 2015

Well, I suppose it’s three peds, actually. Now let’s see how they do:

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See that?

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The two peds on the left act properly and the jogger ped does not.

As per usual…

There’s room for improvement at this intersection, SFGov/SFMTA.

Just saying.

Word On The Street: I Bought This Audi to Honor Your Memory, JFK – “4UJFK”

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

That’s theory #1.

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I’m all out of theories!

Joggers in the Panhandle Have Less Than a 10% Chance of Getting a Green Light at Oak and Masonic, So That’s Why They Jaywalk

Tuesday, July 14th, 2015

From Hoodline:

Two Pedestrians Injured In Oak & Masonic Collision

And that comes on the heels of this, back in April:

Pedestrian Struck By Vehicle At Masonic & Oak

The way our SFMTA has this intersection set up now is that joggers only have about 7 seconds to start crossing Masonic during a 75 second signal cycle. Assuming they don’t purposefully speed up or slow down to catch their green, that means they have less than a 10% chance of not encountering a red signal for crossing. Human nature being what it is, people jog across against the light and the resulting accident is the jogger’s fault. Check it:

Anyway, that’s why so many people are getting hit by cars at this intersection.

For whatever reason, the SFPD isn’t motivated to enforce the CA Vehicle Code upon peds, so this is the result.

If you believe in ped safety, you’d be in favor of a ped enforcement action here, to learn the joggers. OTOH, if you get paid to promote ped “rights,” then you’d disfavor a ped enforcement action here – you’d bend over backwards to displace blame. I mean, these peds aren’t “mistakenly” jaywalking, they’re doing it on purpose, right?

Choose or lose…

94117 Story: Helping the Barefooted Hippies’ Disabled Audi Perform a U-Turn on the Slopes of Ignatius Heights

Tuesday, June 9th, 2015

Neo hippies, anyway:

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Wow, SFPD Enforcement Action at Oak and Masonic – Massive Number of Luxury / Electric Cars Pulled Over, Over and Over

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

Here’s what it looks like – an SFPD enforcement action, this latest one at Oak and Masonic. (Note modern-looking SFPD Kawasaki Concours 14P (which looks to me like a CHP BMW) juxtaposed with the ancient Harley Davidsons what make up most of the Motor Patrol.)

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This action meant that every driver who commited some infraction turning left from inbound Oak onto northbound Masonic got pulled over at the Masonic Chevron.

One supposes that the new left turn arrow phase at this intersection was the instigation for the enforcement action. (Back in the day, traffic didn’t back up during the Morning Drive due to the Double Left Turn that’s no longer there, owing to concerns over ped safety, one supposes.)

All right, here’s your money shot, here’s your scene at Fell and Masonic with a brace of drivers, drivers who “know” they’re special, so fucking special, you know, your Prius hybrid drivers, your Range Rover drivers, and your new funky BMW i3 (with absurdly tall, absurdly narrow Conestoga wagon wheels) electric car drivers:

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That was the scene I initialy came upon and this is the same area as I left. Note the all-black Mercedes Benz, Audi and Lexus. It’s not a coincidence that the drivers of all these cars got pulled over at the same time, just saying:

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Of course, the SFPD will also pull you over if they notice you doing something wrong going the other way, but the funny thing was that the two cars I saw getting pulled over heading south on Masonic, against the current, heading towards the Financial, were normal ones, like VW Golfs. (I’ll ask you, should you ever be proud of your car? The answer is that no you shouldn’t be, because Pride Goeth Before The Painful Traffic Ticket What’s Going to End Up Costing Your Four Figures. JMO.)

Moving on, to this – peds coming up to chat up the cops to cheer them on.

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Now I’ll tell you, I didn’t see any driver run a red during the time I was at these intersection taking photos of the enforcement action, but I was paying more attention to the cops as opposed to the drivers. And I’ll note that sometimes the traffic lights would cycle red green red green red green without anyone getting pulled over.

I’ll leave you with this, my misfocused shot of a ped giving a black power salute to the SFPD to thank them for this latest enforcement action:

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“Barry Bonds” Catching Flies in the Presidio

Monday, November 10th, 2014

If you drive around long enough mouth agape in your look-at-me-I’m-Barry-Bonds-except-I’m-not-but-now-that-you’ve-mentioned-it-let-me-tell-you-about-x Audi* convertible, I’m sure that you’re going to get your fair share of flies squirming about your pie-hole.

It’s a lose-lose situation for both you and the fly. Hey, it’s Jersey Shore, West Coast. YOLO, Dude:

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(Hey, did Barry Bonds get a reputation rehab? News to me.)

In aggravation, this garish vehicle has no front license plate. Tsk tsk.

In mitigation, it appeared to be driven within the realm of reason, which is surprising considering it’s an exoticar in the 415.

Perhaps Dude will maintain that Barry Bonds lettering on the side of his ride until the next Giants Victory Parade, sure to come around the end of October 2016…

*So you buy and Audi but you didn’t actually want an Audi, so you black out the famous rings and also the trademark horse collar grill so people can’t tell it’s an Audi? OK fine. One assumes the Giants objected, or maybe Audi objected in some sort of appearance of a cross-license kind of deal?  

Proud UC Berkeley Grad Gets All Honky and Then Skids Around a Lumbering Truck – A Kind of Audi-Induced Road Rage

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014

Dude’s coming down Ashbury and he can see from the countdown timer that he’s at risk of missing the green due to a slow-moving commercial vehicle making the same turn onto Oak.

So Dude honks his Audi’s horn, pulls into the opposite lane and then goes around the truck with wheels a-chirping.

All this ado allowed the Audi driver to make the green at Masonic and then at Fell, so maybe he saved a minute-something in time.

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(Do bad drivers just pick Audis or do Audis make people bad drivers? I believe it’s mostly the former but don’t underestimate the latter.)

Anyway, if the reason why the truck was going slow had been a late-starting ped heading north in the crosswalk, then blammo, with the ped being at fault for entering a crosswalk under a flashing DON’T WALK and the Audi pilot being even more at fault for turning one lane into two and turning the truck into a blind corner.

Not too far away from here, a world-famous drunk driver with alcohol in her system started walking across Fell too late and got killed by a car going around a slower vehicle, which of course, was waiting for the ped to cross. That’s a similar situation, IMO.

There you have it, look at me, I have an Audi, look at me, I went to UC, look at me, zoom zoom.

The Aftermath of a Typical Audi vs. MUNI Bus Fender Bender Accident, in NoPA, Right in Front of NOPA

Thursday, April 24th, 2014

(Would any of these people have been here 15 years ago? I srsly doubt it.)

Note that I call this accident an accident because it wasn’t on purpose…

Anyway, let’s chalk this one up to the unnecessarily expensive Audi, which has just one defective part: THE NUT BEHIND THE STEERING WHEEL

Clean Diesel? Does This Audi TDI Diesel “Protect the Environment” and Would You “Look Good” “Doing It?”

Thursday, October 31st, 2013


Remember ethanol? It’s still around I guess. Ethanol sucks.

So ask me in forty years or so and I’ll probably have an answer about the merits of “clean diesel.”

As seen above TJ’s #100 on Masonic:

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