Posts Tagged ‘avoid’

“Avoid the 8″ DUI Checkpoint at Pine and Montgomery a Huge Success

Monday, December 21st, 2009

This was the scene over the weekend in the Financh where eight (or four, whatever) local police agencies teamed up for a DUI checkpoint on southbound Montgomery at Pine Street. Never seen one of these before – let’s take a look.

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Not all the traffic coming down from North Beach to SoMA last Friday night had to stop – lots of cars were directed straight on through. But those that weren’t had to pull over to the right for a brief convo with a peace officer of some stripe.

Like the driver of this Mercedes E350, for example. Don’t think she was a drunkie, but she had some sort of registration hassle it appeared (and that’s not all that uncommon in this age of shut-down, furloughed DMVs.) Stop sign holder graciously provided by PG&E:

Oh well. But let’s say you fail your field sobriety test on Montgomery Street.  This is what’s in store for you – a trip into the huge mobile command post  parked on the same block. No waiting:

Meet your breathalyzer, the Intoxilyzer 5000 infrared spectrometry breath alcohol measurement tool. (This is important, cause if your shyster is going to get you off, well, however that ends up being, it will most likely have something to do with attacking the procedures used to record the .15 BAC score you blew. Again.) Speaking of mouthpieces, you’ll get your own 28-cent plastic disposable mouthpiece to blow on. (Always wondered how that worked.)

Most people didn’t seem to mind, and the way that Montgomery is set up with three-way lights (to let the throngs of imagined evening-hour financial district peds scramble across Montgomery any which way they want) being picked to be a part of the checkpoint might not actually have slowed the journeys to the nearest freeway onramp:

Check out Friday’s tally of arrests and tows from CBS5. And here’s the scorecard from a another recent checkpoint at Geary and Steiner, and here’s another from Monterey near San Jose.

So, hurray. There’s not a lot to object to here, unless you’re a mouthpiece for the American Beverage Institute that is.

Look for more checkpoints in the coming weeks…

San Francisco’s Most Overused Cliche of the Decade: “World-Class”

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

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Oh Lord, if I ever see or hear the clicheworld-class” again, it will be too soon. But now, They’re using the Phrase That Shant Be Named twice in the same monkey-fighting sentence:

A world-class city like San Francisco needs a world-class boulevard. We’re optimistic this plan will lead to a renaissance of Market Street,’ said Nathan Ballard, Newsom’s spokesman.’”

Now first of all, we already have a “world-class boulevard” – it’s called Octavia and it’s turning out to be a public policy disaster.

Second of all, “world-class: cliché (avoid)”:

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Now, do you want to use this phrase the way it was meant to be, like saying that Cleveland has a world-class symphony orchestra. I don’t know if that’s true or if it even ever was, but it’s surprising that a sub-million-population city like Cleveland would have such a good symphony so world-class is apropropriate, right? And indeed, the same could be said for the San Francisco Ballet, which acquits itself quite nicely considering S.F. is the fourth-biggest (and fallingSacramento, where you at Sacramento?) city in the state. 

But I mean, does everything in town have to be world-class? The Strybing Arboretum? Really? “Just look at that tree, man, that’s one monkey-fighting world-class tree!”

Or, how about:

“A world-class boyfriend like me needs a world-class omelette, don’t you think, honey?”

Oh, how they must laugh at us:

I despise the hackneyed phrase “world-class.” It’s a tired cliché supposed to inspire and excite where it only deadens and dulls the senses. In a world where everything is touted as “world-class”, nothing is exceptional or intimate.”

“Here’s my deal: I’m a world-class talking head. I’ve made my bones and I’ve got all my bona fides.”

“Is there anybody else who winces at the use of “world class”

What would the Encyclopedia of Business Cliches say about us? Nothing good, that’s for sure.  

Or Gaia, maybe She could help with this issue. Yes, Divine Intervention will be required at this point.

Or you know, Whomever, just please make it stop.

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