Posts Tagged ‘bmw’

Some People Just Shouldn’t Be Driving: BMW Pilot, Double Face-Palm, All the Way

Monday, March 17th, 2014

Now IRL, this BMW driver had her face in her palms for a good 20 seconds while stuck two yards north of the stop line on Masonic northbound at Fell.

But let’s say you don’t believe me and you say that she had the green, but then why is she driving like this with her eyes covered?

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In conclusion SPJSBD (Some People Just Shouldn’t Be Driving).

I mean, if you’re tired, take a rest.

And if you’re emotional, take a break first.

And only then fire up your Driving Machine.

(And, oh yes, SFGov, in its wisdom, decided to put the stop line a waaaaaaay back at this particular intersection. So if you want to turn left and you’re not sure you’re going to make it before the red, then you shouldn’t cross into the crosswalk. However, once you’ve gone into the crosswalk, you’re committed to making that turn and what you should do is creep forward and turn on the current light cycle. It Is Written. I mean, otherwise, you end up with this mess, stuck in a crosswalk for one minute-plus. Bad form, Missy.)

 

Here’s What You Need: An “IMZ-Ural Patrol” 2WD Sidecar Motorcycle Trike – Dog Included – From Russia With Love

Monday, January 27th, 2014

How adorkable!

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Always with the dogs in the sidecar. Always.

A worthy effort, but not up to the level of SURF Alaska, the gold standard of San Francisco hipsterdom.

Calling BS on “Coastal Motor Escorts” – Motorcycle Security Guards with Seven Pointed Star Emblems to Look Like the SFPD?

Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Boy oh boy, do you think that this funeral escort motorcycle driver in the Western Addition has taken steps to appear to be an active-duty peace officer with the SFPD or CHP? Well, I do.

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I’m calling bullshit on the seven-pointed star up front and the squares designed to look like blue lights on the rear. I’ll tell you, there was this whole big deal about officers people in the San Francisco Patrol Special Police wearing seven-pointed stars when really they should all be wearing six-pointers. And blue lights? That should reserved for the real popo, non?

All right, Coastal Motor Escorts, you might have had your application rubber-stamped by the SFPD

“8. Oliveira, Michael  669 Bridgewater Circle, Danville 94526  Funeral Procession Escort  OK Permit;  dba “Coastal Motor Escorts, LLC.”  Permit #: 139056  District: U ID: 4971″

…but that doesn’t mean you have the right to impersonate police, right?

Now let’s learn a bit about this outfit from the San Jose Mercury News:

“QUESTION: Mr. Roadshow, the other day I had a scary encounter with a gun-toting security guard on a motorcycle while traveling on Interstate 880 in San Leandro. I was traveling with the flow of traffic when a white BMW motorcycle with emergency-type lights with “Coastal Motor Escorts” pulled next to my vehicle and began honking his horn and shaking his fist at me. I looked down and noticed my speedometer showed I was going 67 mph. I continued to drive and the motorcycle security guard pulled behind my vehicle and began flashing his high-beam lights at me. I was not sure if I should pull over or continue. There was no funeral procession or other activity and this guy was traveling alone.”

Read on for more deets of this encounter, be my guest.

And this isn’t just in Frisco – read on about what happens elsewhere.

So, I know all the reasons why motorized security guards would like to be perceived as being currently-employed peace officers, but I don’t agree with what Coastal Motor Escorts is doing in San Francisco.

I cry foul.

If You See a BMW and Mercedes Parked Next to Each Other, Which is More Likely to Have a Fraudulent Handicapped Placard?

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

(This is a trick question BTW.)

As seen on Geary:

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The answer is that BOTH the Mercedes Benz AND the BMW will have handicapped placards.

Why is that? Well, it has to do with handicapped parking fraud.

Oh, and the owners of these cars think that you’re a sucker for not having a free parking pass of your own.

Oh well.

The Only Thing Owners of Aging BMW 2002′s Want from Modern BMWs are Tiny Wheels, Apparently

Monday, January 6th, 2014

I’m sure the 1975 3-series was better in every way compared with the 1974 BMW 2002. The problem is that everybody loves the 2002 but nobody loves the 320i E21.

The wheels for the E21 are oftentimes seen on 2002′s – that’s all the owners seem interested in:

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How sad!

Here’s the “Solution” for the Deadly Pedestrian Problem at Trader Joe’s #100 on Masonic – Is It Enough? Maybe

Tuesday, November 12th, 2013

You see this sign? It’s the one you see as you exit TJ’s #100 on Masonic near Geary, assuming you’re not driving or riding.

It was put in as a response to all those shoppers who jaywalk to their cars on the other side of Masonic.

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People still jaywalk of course, owing to the ease of parking on the northbound side of Masonic and the difficulty encountered trying to park in the TJ’s lot.  (There’s a lot of history here on this example of bad planning.)

Did I call for this sign? Yes I did. So it’s good that it’s there now. It wasn’t there a couple of years ago, so good on you, SFGov.

But can SFGov and TJ’s do more? Sure. Hey, why don’t the Powers That Be take the opportunity revisit this whole situation before others kill themselves?

Right? I mean I’m not talking politically, ’cause the politics part of getting a new gro sto here is already done. But, you know, morally.

Just asking.

Moving on…

Now here’s an example of people actually taking the several minutes required to get back to their cars by walking down to Geary and waiting for the four-way signal.

This gal here broke from her shopping group to jaywalk while her friends did things the legal way.

(Until this, I’ve never noticed a person not  jaywalking,)

So here she is, sitting pretty whilst waiting for her friends, exulting in her ability to not get hit by a car on this occasion:

I don’t notice this kind of scene as much these days so that’s good.

That’s the update.

San Francisco Driving Lessons: If You Go Too Far Into an Intersection, NEVER BACK UP – And Here’s Why

Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

Note ridiculous BMW SUV with ridiculous 20-inch wheels – see how the back-up lights are on?

You can’t do this. If you make a mistake, just live with it. Don’t try to fix it, else you very well might run over a ped.

That’s the rule.

Learn it, live it, love it.

Also note Bauer’s “Intelligent” Transportation “limousine” bus using the SFMTA MUNI DPT SFBC bus stop to pick up corporate customers?

Legal or not?

IDK.

But anyway, learn how to fucking drive, BMW people.

Comparaison du Corps Diplomatique: License Plates – China vs. Taiwan – Can You Spot the Pariah Nation?

Friday, May 3rd, 2013

Up first, spotted skulking about the Western Addition, which certainly would make sense, comes the whip of the Pariah Nation, North Korea’s BFF. Check out the cutesy numbers and letters on the quasi-Fed-issued consul license plate.

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(And, ironically, the car is the flagship model of the world-famous Tahara Plant, the finest car factory in the world since the 1980′s. Thomas L. Firedman still has a total boner for it.- he took the tour and got the T-shirt. My ride was made there well, AAMOF. Actually, I passed through there just last month, you know, on bidness. That’s the country that got all invadey starting about a century ago ’til about seven decades ago. Hey, who’s invading Filipino islands these days? I’ll give you just one guess! Ooh, my ride had a cheesy SERRAMONTE license plate holder as well. But I didn’t even buy my car there, so WTF was that for, who told you to put that thing on? Not just plastic bolts, metal. I couldn’t get them off myself so they had to do it for me. But while I was down there one time, I told the extreeeeeemely cute front line sales rep that she ought to sue for harassment if what I saw and heard was routine. Guess what – she got together with her friends and took action by hiring some law firm/lawyer and ended up getting a ton of money from the dealership group. I’ll tell you about it sometime. Oh and that’s the same dealership where bay area favorite son Tom Hanks got a nice SUV, also from Tahara, also the best in the world, about a half-decade back. I’ll tell you about that sometime too. But I digress…)

Up next comes Taiwan. Poor Taiwan! See that, “FOREIGN ORGANIZATION,” like it’s not even a country.

That’s some fucked up shit right there.

Check it:

Foreign Organization Special License Plates

5006.5. (a) The department may issue, for a fee determined by the department to be sufficient to reimburse the department for actual costs incurred pursuant to this section, distinctive license plates for motor vehicles owned or leased by an officer or a designated employee of a foreign organization recognized by the United States pursuant to the Taiwan Relations Act (22 U.S.C. Sec. 3301 et seq.) when the department is otherwise satisfied that the issuance of the license plates is in order.

(b) The distinctive license plates shall be designed by the department and shall contain the words “Foreign Organization.”

(c) The department shall establish procedures for both of the following:

(1) To verify the eligibility of an applicant for plates issued pursuant to this section.

(2) To authorize a recognized foreign organization to apply on behalf of its officers for plates issued pursuant to this section.

Added Ch. 397, Stats. 1994. Effective January 1, 1995.”

On It Goes.

(more…)

A Hella BMW in the Western Addition – Hella Hella Hella Hella!

Friday, February 8th, 2013

This BMW 2002 has just about every accessory a car could have.

It’s “Hella.” See?

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Remember, DriveNow Isn’t a “Premium Electric Car Sharing Program,” It’s a Marketing Program, for BMW

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

I wish I could rent a tiny electric car by the minute(!) - don’t you wish so as well?

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Sometimes I just don’t know.