Let’s hope so.
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All the deets:
For immediate “release”
Chicken John and friends to “JACK OFF” 16th Street!
San Francisco, CA – To demonstrate their objection to chain stores like Jack Spade trying to take root in the Mission, San Francisco showman Chicken John Rinaldi and a collection of friends and followers are planning to “JACK OFF” in front of the chain store’s proposed location this Friday night.
“We promise to jack off until we fill the streets with semen!” Chicken John said, about what may be the world’s largest masturbatory action to end gentrification. Participants are willing to risk indecent exposure to support the principle of a Mission district without chain stores.
According to Rinaldi, an ocean of male semen could help wash away the sin of gentrification once and for all.
“We, the people of the Mission District demand that Jack Spade pull out of their venture to open on 16th street. They are not wanted here. We are ready and willing to go to extreme lengths to soil their brand,” he said.
JACK OFF 16TH STREET will take place Friday, Oct. 11, at 8 p.m., in front of 3166 16th Street.
Here’s a good dozen what sat in the lobby for twelve long hours.
Guess what? Nobody took even a one.
So these books got hauled off to the big blue bin when I got home last night. Good times.
And best of all, those The Real Yellow Pages / AT&T / YP books are surprisingly small these days, so you can carry them all in just one trip, you know, before they get all soggy:
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Uh, AT&T, what’s the point of this exercise?
Nobody in San Francisco wants your Yellow Pages.
I know you think that we do, but we don’t.
Does Verizon do this? No
Does Sprint do this? No
Does T-Mobile do this? No
So why do you do it?
I know that you can do it, you know, legally, but I don’t know why you do it.
If you want to get credit for giving minimum wage union members money, why not just give them money and be done with it?
Anyway, if I see any stack of your phonebooks anywhere about town anywhere near a big blue recycling bin or an AT&T store, they’re all going to get together tout de suite.
See you in Hell, Yellow Pages people.
NB: Don’t try to “opt out,” San Francisco. All that does is give your contact information to AT&T so that they can ask you, every fucking year, if you still want to opt out. My conclusion: AT&T is a cancer.
Here’s a one-minute hit piece against Christina Olague from Ross Mirkarimi neighbor Ivory Madison:
Yes, she’s coming back for more.
You have the script so here my notes:
1. Your name is Ivory Madison for real? Oh. Really? How theatrical.
2. I think you mean former friend, right?
3. [Sanctimonious line reading but otherwise within the bounds of reality.]
4. I think I’m going to call bullshit on this one. That’s just your opinion, IM.
5. So you “contacted the police on her behalf” but without her permission? And in a maladroit fashion to boot, one might add. Like using your personal iPhone to do so, “anonymously.” You’re not that sharp, are you, IM?
6. [Sanctimonious line reading but otherwise within the bounds of reality.]
7. All right, I’ll bite. How does suspending Ross Mirkarimi protect victims of DV?
8. Uh Madison, I don’t think you can declare victory before a process ends, right? And it turns out that Christina Olague’s vote didn’t matter nohow. You understand that, right?
9. You didn’t want to get involved? Are you fucking serious – who’s going to believe that, Huntress?
10. Voters need to know what Olague did? Don’t they know already? Mmmm…
11. Is Ross Mirkarimi a “convicted batterer” like in real life? What does the word “batterer” mean? What does the word “batter” mean? Oh, what’s that, you didn’t actually have a chance to learn that in colledge because you thought a high school diploma would suffice when applying to Stanford Law? That might have worked for Daredevil Matt Murdock in the comix but I don’t think that kind of thing works IRL.
12. Um, I think Ross Mirkarimi is your Sheriff because your neighbors voted for him, like overwhelmingly, right? Didn’t you host a fundraiser for him?
13. Does Christina Olague really think “it’s OK to abuse your wife?” Any support at all for this, you know, outside of this particular vendetta? Wow.
Hey Ivory. You talk about law school so much, why not just sign up for the state bar exam and study for it? You could pass if you applied yourself.
On Columbus near Broadway:
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See? They’re still out there.
Shouldn’t the telephone book companies send their people around to pick up all the unwanted phone books still sitting around after a month or two?
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Now, is this true?
“Just this week, a San Francisco Board of Supervisors committee voted to ban the distribution of commercial phone books.”
Uh, not really. The proposal was sort of like a ban, but not really.
Haighteration has the story this AM about how the San Francisco restaurant community is coming together to help one of its own, someone who is still reeling from a crime committed late last year:
“In late November, a beloved member of the Ragazza staff, and broader San Francisco restaurant community, was the victim of a terrible crime. To help this individual get back on their feet, Ragazza, along with several other establishments, are hosting a fundraiser. All proceeds will benefit the crime victim. Funds will be raised through several sources.”
And check out all the local businesspeople who are contributing, below.
“1. On Monday, January 24, Ragazza will donate 100% of sales proceeds to this cause. For this evening, Ragazza will hold an intimate benefit dinner, with a special menu designed by Chef Sharon Ardiana. The meal will be served family style, with antipasti, salad, pizza, entree and dessert. Seatings are at 5:00 pm, 7:00 pm or 9:00 pm. The cost is $35/person, including wine, excluding gratuity and tax. As of 1/13/11, the 7pm seating is sold out. To make a reservation or to be put on the 7pm waiting list, please email Laurie at firstname.lastname@example.org.
2. A variety of items will be auctioned off on eBay, between Friday, January 21st and Monday, January 31st. Auction items include special meals at notable San Francisco restaurants, cooking lessons, private meals prepared by Bay Area chefs, art, photography, wine and other items. To see all items up for auction or to bid on an item, please visit this link.
3. You may send a cash donation to benefit the victims of this crime. To do so, please send a check made out to our fiscal sponsor, La Cocina, Inc. Please write Ragazza Fundraiser in the memo line so that your contribution goes directly to our cause. Donations may also be made on the evening of January 24 at the restaurant. For your donation to be tax deductible, it will need to be made via check payable to La Cocina, Inc. Donations may be sent to:
2948 Folsom Street
San Francisco, CA 94110-4028
Note that all auction items and donations made via check to La Cocina, Inc. are tax deductible over the fair market value of the item (in the case of auction items). La Cocina is a registered 501c3 organization.
Full details coming soon, along with links to the eBay bid pages once the auction is live (anticipated to be on Friday, January 21). Here’s a preview of some of the items we will have available for bid…..
Dinner for 8 in your home, cooked by Frances Chef/Owner Melissa Perello.
Italian cooking lesson, wine tasting and dinner for 4 prepared in your home by Chef/Owner of Ragazza, Sharon Ardiana and Suzanne Drexhage
Dinner for 2, with wine pairings, at your choice of either A16 or SPQR
Wine dinner for 4 at Andalu
Dinner for 2 at Bar Tartine
Chef’s Dinner for 2 at Cafe des Amis, with wine pairings
Customized meal for 2 at Delfina, menu designed by Chef/Owner Craig Stoll
Customized meal for 2 at Flour + Water, menu by Chef/Owner Tom McNaughton, with wine pairing
Wine dinner for 4 at Garibaldi’s
Dinner for 2 at Gialina..and you can go to the head of the line!
Dinner for 4 at Nopa, seated with Chef/Co-Owner Laurence Jossel and Wine Director Chris Deegan
Dinner for 4 at the Chef’s Table of Rotisserie & Wine – meet Tyler Florence and Chef Jeremy Fox
Customized cake by Elizabeth Falkner of Citizen Cake, sized to serve 40 people!
2 dozen cupcakes from Kara’s Cupcakes, delivered by cupcake maven and owner, Kara Lind
Marlowe‘s famous Marlowe burger, delivered to your office w/all the fixin’s…for 8 people
Carnitas dinner for 4, delivered to your door by Nopalito.
Sundae making party for 24 by Bi Rite Creamery
Cocktail making class for 15, along with signed copies of Art of the Bar at Comstock Saloon
Coffee tour/tasting for 6 at Equator Coffees & Teas- the coffee of Ragazza & The French Laundry
Cooking clases at La Cocina
Poker party for 5 at Le Club….burgers, bourbon or champs, your own dealer & private table
Pizza Politana pizza party for 15 at your home
High end tequila tasting for 4 at Tres Agaves
Margarita party for 20 at your home by Tortilla Heights
A case of mixed Italian red wines, selected by Chamber and Chambers Wine Merchants
Gift certificates to Boulevard, 18 Reasons, Bi Rite Market, Ominvore Books, Absinthe, Lori Anderson Skincare, Pal’s Takeaway Sandwiches, Incanto and more!
A day of custom photography, with Katie Newburn, photographer
2 custom art pieces by artist Michelle White
50 custom cards/envelopes, designed and printed by Olive-Route letter press.
Custom canvas printing of your favorite photo by photographer, Nick Vasilopoulos
2 hours of custom tattoo work with the amazing Shannon Archuleta
And still more to come……
Is there some law that says AT&T is required to deliver waaaaaaay too many phone books to San Francisco households every year? Could be.
If there is, wouldn’t it be easier for all concerned if instead of leaving all these unwanted phone books out in the rain for day after day, week after week, AT&T could just have its workers deliver them directly to the recycling bins out back?
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What’s that, AT&T? People still love your phone books? No they don’t.
Obviously, there’s profit to be had, somehow, in this annual exercise, so oh well.