Posts Tagged ‘boot’

SFMTA DPT Graffiti: “GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS” – Written on SFGov Denver Boot #E23

Tuesday, December 17th, 2013

The owner of the car pictured below decided not to pay his parking tickets. So, this car sat around collecting tickets until AutoReturn or something similar came along to tow it away, with extreme prejudice.

(Right? Like why pay the SFMTA more than $1000 for a car that’s worth less than $1000…)

But before this car was abandoned forever, its owner made sure to let  the SFMTA know what he thought about the situation. To wit:

“EAT MY SHIT, YOU SHIT-EATING PIECES OF SHIT.”

Oh, that’s not nice!

Now, let’s check the stinger on the arm:

“GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS.”

See? “Moving Forward Together” with the SFMTA:

Click to expand

Too bad Angle Grinder Man doesn’t reside in the 415…

In closing, Don’t Mess With Texas.

Packt Like Sardines: How Many Cars Can You Put Into Just One San Francisco Parking Lot?

Wednesday, April 24th, 2013

Well, at least for this particularly oddly-shaped piece of real estate on Main Street near Folsom, the answer was this many:

img_9020-copy.jpg

“Last in, first out.” Click to expand.

I don’t know if this lot in SoMA is still around. The photo was taken from the office of a billionaire who was quite solicitous owing to a project he wanted to kick off before he himself kicked off.

Here’s what I wrote a half decade back:

It might be a pain to park here, under the shadow of the new Infinity San Francisco towers, but at least you won’t get the boot, or get into a chain reaction accident, or get all messy. Of course, if you work for San Francisco Honda, then just park wherever - the sidewalk, for example.

Lastly, DO NOT PAY THIS MAN!

When the SFMTA Puts a “Denver Boot” on Your Car, Feel Free to Reply With an Obscene Message, Like This One

Monday, August 20th, 2012

This car isn’t going to be rescued by its owner. This car is going to sit around collecting tickets until AutoReturn or something similar comes along to tow it away, with extreme prejudice.

(Right? Like why pay the SFMTA more than $1000 for a car worth less than $1000…)

But before you abandon your ride forever, be sure to let the SFMTA know what you think about it. To wit:

“EAT MY SHIT, YOU SHIT-EATING PIECES OF SHIT.”

Oh, that’s not nice!

Now, let’s check the stinger on the arm:

“GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS.”

See? “Moving Forward Together” with the SFMTA:

Click to expand

Too bad Angle Grinder Man doesn’t reside in the 415…

In closing, Don’t Mess With Texas.

Working for the Clampdown: What It Looks Like When the “Denver Boot Man” Comes to Put the Clamp on Your Car

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

It looks just like this:

Click to expand

Or maybe all this guy does it take Denver boots off of cars,* I can’t tell.

Anyway, you’ll figure out the system shortly after you accumulate five or more unpaid parking tickets in the 415.

It happens.

Please note the brand-new Automatic Number Plate Recognition video cameras on the roof of the white minivan, the better to scan in your license plate, automatic-like.

That’s how they get you

(There ought to be a “Denver Boot Man Alert” app for your phone, you know, for when he comes within a half-mile of your ride, give you a chance to switch license plates or something…)

*Just like Angle Grinder Man, except AGM is on the other side of the law.

The judge said five to ten but I say double that again
I’m not working for the clampdown
No man born with a living soul
Can be working for the clampdown

The Most Parking Citations I’ve Ever Seen on One Side of a Car Parked in San Francisco

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

The other side this Chrysler product had a few as well.

Since this shot was taken, the City came along and added a tow-a-way sign.

It won’t be long now…

Click to expand

Heartless SFMTA Gives Classic Mustang The Denver Boot – 45 Years of Life and Now This

Friday, December 10th, 2010

San Francisco’s NIMBY-esque neighborhood parking program has claimed yet another victim.

SFMTA ought to make an exception for classic cars, right?

Poor little feller:

Click to expand

Only Angle Grinder Man can save him now…

How Many Cars Can You Put Into Just One San Francisco Parking Lot?

Friday, July 4th, 2008

Well, at least for this particularly oddly-shaped piece of real estate on Main Street near Folsom, the answer is this many:

img_9020-copy.jpg

“Last in, first out.” Click to expand.

It might be a pain to park here, under the shadow of the new Infinity San Francisco towers, but at least you won’t get the boot, or get into a chain reaction accident, or get all messy. Of course, if you work for San Francisco Honda, then just park wherever - the sidewalk, for example. 

Lastly, DO NOT PAY THIS MAN! 

Now you’re all set.

When Good Cars Go Bad – Toyota Prius Gets the Boot in San Francisco

Monday, March 31st, 2008

Toyota Prius owners in California already have some immunity from getting moving violation tickets, but more help is needed.

What about parking tickets? Perhaps we should make Priuseses fully immune from parking tickets as well. That would encourage more people to drive hybrids, right? And then we wouldn’t be forced to witness a sad scene like this, where a car that’s supposed to going 80 miles per in the fast lane with just one occupant is sidelined with a bum leg.

go8f8355a.jpg

By the way, parking tickets are going up to $60 soon. Happy motoring!