Or, How to Beat Comcast.
Artist’s conception of the leader of our TV monopoly:
(It must be a hard knock life listening to people complain about their TV service…)
The thing is that the last thing monopolies want to do is hire more people. So, you need to think before you let Comcast waste your time and money. Here are four options:
1. Avoid that service center down on Portola. Comcast’s other office in the inner, Inner Richmond District is a veritable ghost town of lonely employees yearning for the company of customers needing help. Check it out at 3732 Geary Blvd (between Arguello Blvd & 2nd Ave). You’ll be in and out in no time – that’s much better than the old days when you had to wait all day for a “trained” tech to come out.
2. Cancel Comcast and get a dish. I don’t know how it works or which system is better, but it couldn’t be worse than Comcast, right? Certainly would be cheaper and you wouldn’t be giving your hard-earned to a monopoly.
3. Cancel Comcast and just use rabbit ears. I’ll tell you, my Sony is approaching two decades of service and it displays that digital TV just fine. I mean, if your show isn’t on channels 2, 4, 5, 7, or 9 it’s just not worth watching, right? Comcast wants you to think you need cable TV but you don’t need cable TV. Try a Comcast vacation for 30 days and then you’ll wonder why you ever gave those melon-farmers $1000 (after taxes!) a year.
4. Threaten to cancel Comcast and have them lower your bill to less than $30. Here’s what you do, love. Just ring up (877) 870-4310 and tell them you don’t want cable no mo. (This is a lie, but that’s O.K.) They’ll ask you why and then you’ll tell them that you just got laid off or something. Then it’s name-your-price time, baby. Have them throw in a digital box, free HBO, I don’t know, whatever. They’ll lower your bill wayyyyyy down for six months or a year or whatnot. Then it’ll be time to call them up all over again. Easy peasy. As they say, Asking Comcast To Lower Your Bill Results In Comcast Lowering Your Bill. But of course, you don’t just ask, you tell them you can’t afford it and you want to cancel.
Am I saying that you’re a sucker if you don’t call up Comcast right now at (877) 870-4310 and threaten to cancel? Yes. Yes I am.
Choose or lose.