As seen near Page and Shrader
*Back when it was better. Sorry
First it was all like this, but now it’s all like this:
“NEMA residents, we appreciate you. Did you know? NEMA’s 4.5 stars is the best rating of any San Francisco apartment complex on Yelp. #CHInspired #liveNEMA”
And here’s the Yelp page.
Hey NeMa, can I ask who’s posting all the five-star shill reviews? Nobody in your employ, you say? But how do you know that?
Hey NeMa, do you really spend your time aggressively getting Yelp to take down non-five-star reviews so that you can boast about your then-higher Yelp rating?
Hey NeMa, what do people say about you after they leave you in light of the absence of the price control aspect of San Francisco rent control?
And here are the ones what don’t factor into NeMa’s high Yelp rating, for whatever reason.
And see if you can find any trace of this one:
“Please read this if you are considering any non-rent control building in San Francisco. I wish someone had told me this when I moved to the city and chose Nema. Please consider this advice.
If you have visited Nema, you probably can tell that the management, amenities and staff are outstanding. You may also notice that everyone living in the building has just moved from another city or state. Here’s why:
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you rent in a non-rent control building, unless you can sign a multi-year lease. Could you afford a double digit rent increase? 50% rent increase? Is your income doubling next year? It seems far away now, but you will probably want to renew your lease. Now is the time to make a good decision about housing, not next year because you will be paying much more then.”
This person’s thoughts are Down The Memory Hole, it seems?
“When Miami-based real estate developer Crescent Heights started to market the two Mid-Market apartment towers next to Twitter’s headquarters two years ago, the complex’s splashy website featured psychedelic signage for hippies and hipsters.
Crescent Heights’ follow-up act to Nema is the 400-foot, 320-unit Rincon Hill tower known as Jasper, at 45 Lansing. Its branding took on a different flavor. This time, potential Jasper renters got to see a black-and-white video of a bespectacled little girl talking up the building’s refined tastes.
“It’s for people who know good things when they see them,” she says in a high-pitched voice. “It’s like when you saw Star Wars for the first time — it changed everything.”
It’s a different kind of pitch because 20-somethings probably won’t be knocking down the leasing office doors to rent in Rincon Hill — a neighborhood that’s full of condo towers, not rentals. But that’s OK.
The neighborhood, on a hilltop near the Financial District, is set to lure in a professional class that Crescent Heights knows is starved for highrise, luxury rental housing.”
All right, here’s the pitch:
Oh dahling, you simply MUST flee your humid, steaming walk-up in the Mission – come to the West and spend the summer months with me at my Estate, CLAYTONIA:
Sam Whiting explains here in the San Francisco Chronicle:
Mmmm, no comments? Perhaps this attempt at a paywall is working too well.
But all right, here’s the SFGate version – surely the rabble will chirp up with comments like, “Well, what’s the rent?” Or maybe, “Smallest Studio in the Twitterloin, 0 bdrms, o bths, reclaimed wood?”
Nope. Just one comment. This is the least amount of NEMA-mocking I’ve ever seen, when the topic of the NEMA is raised:
“So, if Studio One were to break down, would it be NEMA-towed?”
Get it? Nematode – cause like “worms,” right? (Oh, I don’t get it, oh well.)
Hey, speaking of NeMA, there’s still no rent control there, so giant rent hikes are coming your way. It will happen like this:
“We looked at what we’re charging for new rents and what the rent trends are in the market. We came up with the following renewal offer by lease terms…”
And then BAM! You get hit with a 24% (or whatever) rent increase (on top of an already high rent) after just one year. Speaking of which, here’s what one Yelper recently had to say about the NEMA. So many details!
I’ll tell you, lots of SF newcomers move into buildings without knowing that rent control won’t apply to them. And they don’t know the first thing about rental deposit refunds until they hit for charges that they don’t have to pay and that they shouldn’t pay. IMO.
And I’ll tell you, I don’t work for SFGov, so it’s not my job to “activate” the “New Market” “Streetscape” with umpty-up art displays. IMO. SFGov should focus on the basics.
[Camera Left] That’s who I am, I’m a god-damned troubadour! (Well, maybe not yet, but that’s who I am inside – that’s the kind of person I am. Man, I gots to get me an axe as soon as I move to Frisco…)
[Camera Right] I’m a City Girl, here’s my Vespa – BEEP BEEP! I’m going to use it to buy a baguette every day, soon as I move to the 415.*
As seen at the horrible, man-made** disaster known as Octavia “Boulevard.”
*NO NO NO NO, I want 415! Area code 628?! WTF.
**Person-made? Is that a phrase? Octavia was supposed to spawn a “boulevard movement” across the country. It didn’t.
You know, just saying.
Well, the car’s pointing in the wrong direction, that’s all.
You know, just asking.
“There’s more to color than meets the eye. This summer, the California Academy of Sciences will unveil Color of Life, a major new exhibit that explores the connection between charismatic colors and their starring role in the natural world. Celebrate the opening of this exhibit with fun programs and performances all weekend.
Program Partners include EnChroma, Inc., Conservatory of Flowers, California Wolf Center, Little Artistas, Bryson Voirin, California Academy of Sciences Exhibit Studio (Saturday only), and California Academy of Sciences Department of Botany (Sunday only).
Activities will take place in the Piazza from 10AM to 4PM on Saturday, June 13 and Sunday, June 14.”