Posts Tagged ‘bush’

Our Inefficient, Money-Hungry SFMTA Wants to Start Issuing Speeding Tickets, But Somehow “They Would Not Be Moving Violations?!”

Thursday, May 21st, 2015

Oh, this one’s easy  – we’re going to go from zero to Orwellian in ten seconds.

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines:

SFMTA Pushing For Speed Cameras In San Francisco To Improve Pedestrian Safety by Cate Cauguiran

And here’s your nut graf:

“SFMTA plans to present their proposal to the San Francisco County Transportation Authority later this week. The agency says the citations would not be moving violations, and therefore not reportable to the DMV.”

Now let’s review – Papa Homer, what’s a “moving violation?

A moving violation is a violation of the law committed by the driver of a vehicle while it is in motion. The term “motion” distinguishes it from other motor vehicle violations, such as paperwork violations (which include violations involving automobile insurance, registration and inspection), parking violations, or equipment violations.”

So, if the parking ticket agency gives a ticket for speeding, it’s issuing moving violations, right? Now tell us more, Wiki:

While some violations, like parking violations, are civil matters involving a vehicle’s owner, moving violations are charged against the actual driver.

Yep. And then there’s this:

The most commonly enforced moving violation, and the overwhelmingly most frequent reason for a vehicle pullover, are violations of the speed limit.

And what’s the motivation for the SFMTA to float this balloon?

Sometimes tickets are used in a speed trap as a form of fundraising

I don’t use the term “speed trap” myself, but, yes, our SFMTA is obsessed with “fundraising,” certainly.

And lastly:

Examples of moving violations: speeding, which can be exceeding a limit or simply driving an unsafe speed…

Thanks Wiki! And actually, a speeding ticket is the prototypical moving violation, in Frisco and everywhere else too.

Now I’ll tell you, I was surprised earlier this year to see the SFMTA issuing “block the box” tickets, because sometimes the SFMTA DPT shows up at an intersection during rush hour to unblock the box, not to make money from block boxing. And yet, here you go:

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This is a DPT PCO in the middle of the intersection of Bush and Sansome shooting fish in a barrel – busting three vehicles, and then she was Gone In 60 Seconds.

And I thought, well, I suppose the drivers here are parked since they’re idling away, motionless, for a long time, so sure, ticket away, SFMTA, even though you’ve timed the lights to exacerbate this situation, but anyway, sure, these are parking tickets, fine.

But if you want to start issuing moving violation tickets, you shouldn’t lie about it. (I’ll tell you, sometimes I can’t tell if the SFMTA lies on purpose or if it just doesn’t know what it’s doing.)

Now, here’s my MODEST PROPOSAL - traffic cameras for pedestrians, mounted over crosswalks. The cameras would record all the peds who jump the light by starting across a second or two early and then a ticket for $100 would get mailed to the offenders after facial recognition ID’s the peds. (Gentle Reader, did you know that most ped deaths last year on the Streets of San Francisco were the fault of the peds themselves? It’s sort of a secret. It wasn’t a blowout or anything, the peds “won” this competition by 50-something percent, vs. the drivers’ 40-something percent, but isn’t it ironic, dont’cha think, that enforcing the vehicle code upon peds, as unpopular as this might be, could reduce traffic deaths more than how SFGov has handled matters up ’til now? Anyway, I’m talking about how the SFPD apportioned ped deaths in SF in 2014. But don’t talk about it, oh no – that might get you transferred to the Airport Detail, srsly. And bonus! Our new ped cams could “also help us as an investigative tool if someone is committing a crime somewhere nearby.” Moving on…)

Of course, the reason why SFGov wants to go Full Orwell is that paying sworn officers to issue tickets is inefficient and expensive. OTOH, an automatic system, backed up by an appeals mechanism to make everything constitutional could generate tons of money for the SFMTA, like almost as much as its Household Transit Tax fantasy that it would impose on you, Gentle Reader, in a New York minute, if it could. (It’s what Ed Reiskin dreams of at night – your transit tax would be added to your tax returns, easy peasy, what a dream!)

Anyway, I think saying that a moving violation isn’t is worthy of five Orwells, on a scale of zero to five Orwells:

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All the way to the bottom, Maggie SFMTA – you’ve made it!

What This, Church Goers Regularly Illegally Double-Park ALL DAY LONG on Bush Street, with the Blessing of the SFMTA and SFGov?

Monday, May 11th, 2015

This is where this ride was parked on the left side of Bush in the Western Addition on a Saturday morning, around brunch time:

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And here it is, after being moved forward a couple car lengths, on the same day, around dinner time (Early Bird dinner time, anyway):

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I’d always wondered about how long people double park on San Francisco’s Major Eastbound Substitute Freeway and now I have my answer. People aren’t just popping in for a service, they’re blocking traffic all the live-long day.

A few notes:

1. Jesus Christ! I mean, WWJD? Or WWJP, WHERE WOULD JESUS PARK? ‘Cause I sure as Hell don’t think He’d illegally double-park his chariot like this all day all day.

2. Let’s talk about Time, Place, and Manner: I myself double-park, but not on fucking Bush, which is half of the Bush-Pine Corridor, which has one-way streets and 30 MPH speed limits for a reason.

3. I myself double-park, but not for eight fucking hours at a stretch.

4. I myself double-park, but not two fucking feet from an intersection, ’cause when Parishioners do that they force the hundreds and hundreds of cars that get stalled over the course of a day into an intersection, and that’s not good, right?

5. Obviously, this double-parking behavior has become institutionalized by San Francisco gov’mint, so perhaps these pious Prius owners don’t realize how much they’ve been sinning. But let’s check it, from Katrina Schwartz of KQED:

Why Doesn’t San Francisco Enforce Double Parking on Sundays?

Now she’s talking about Sundays and I’m talking about Saturdays, but it’s the same deal, right?

Oh, and check out this bon mot, Gentle Reader:

“Are you seeing the contradiction here? Double parking is still illegal on Sundays, but the SFMTA has rules for how churches should manage their double parking.”

Indeed.

6. Our SFMTA, operator of MUNI, America’s Slowest Big City Transit System, might be working on a fix, a fix that might actually earn some money for the SFMTA to boot, but this fix could take years, so the current course is to say, oh, give us more money, oh, we can’t afford to enforce traffic laws on the weekends, oh we’ve let a bunch of Work Rules build up over the decades, so we’re inefficient as all get out, so, oh give us more money. SFGov is basically saying, “So sue us.” Like with “Mount” Davidson, the highest point in town – there was a Christian Cross on public land for decades and SFGov told San Franciscans to Go To Hell if they didn’t like it. (I myself wondered how this sitch could possibly be constitutional when I first came here.) So the upshot was that, finally, somebody sued SFGov, and won, and now that land aint private anymo’. The same thing with calling cell phone taxes “fees” to be able to generate ever more revenue for SFGov without troubling to get permission – somebody sued SFGov and now our cell phone taxes are properly called cell phone taxes. Simply, SFGov is in denial over this issue because it doesn’t want to get sued.

7. And hey, speaking of churches in the Western Addition, Jim Jones had a church on Geary a few blocks down the hill and he had SFGov wrapped around his finger. Here’s a snip:

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I’m not suggesting that Mayor Willie Brown is failing us now as much as he was back in the 1970’s when he was in the Assembly, but this is yet another example of a failure of San Francisco democracy.

Anyway, this is How We Live in 2015.

Flagrant Double-Parkers on Bush Street Post Their Own No Parking Notices – Isn’t It Ironic?

Tuesday, May 5th, 2015

Dont’cha think?

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Do people park their cars on the left and right lanes of Bush in the Western Addition for like six hours at a stretch on weekends?

People Do.

Does San Francisco Really Have a “French Quarter?” Not Really, Despite What Microsoft Says

Friday, March 27th, 2015

Well, here it is, from the Bing Maps:

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(IDK, this is less offensive than “Uptown Tenderloin,” one supposes, you know, coming from San Francisco’s non-profit profiteers.)

French Quarter sounds a bit, grandiose?

Here’s the cure, as usual, from wilds of the Internet:

Ha. No one here knows by that name. There’s not a distinct boundary for the collection of French-serving restaurants and businesses near the French Consulate, the church and school of Notre Dame des Victoires on Bush Street. But apparently it’s been dubbed by some hotel marketing person as the “French Quarter.” Belden Alley and Claude Alley intersect with Bush Street, and each have some French cafes. On Bush/Grant Ave. is the Cafe de la Presse — a coffee house with French and international newspapers, and restaurant. There’s Cafe Claude on Claude and some other bistros. Plouf! is an excellent mussel house on Belden…”

All right, keep on Binging, Microsoft.

Fish in a Barrel: This SFMTA PCO Can Hand Out Multiple $105 “Block the Box” Tickets in One Minute

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015

Of course, the SFMTA could jigger the lights around the neighborhood of Bush and Sansome in a more efficient way, but then this meter maid wouldn’t be able to park her Cushman and then stand in the intersection to generate so many tickets that she has trouble with all the receipt tape she’s generating. See?

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Her little machine might have a camera built in, and the GPS and the Wi-Fi and all sorts of things to allow her to bag three rides in one cycle of green yellow red.

Check it. All of these drivers on Bush inbound in the Financh are used to crawling across a San Francisco  intersection before the light turns red and then making it out of the intersection before the peds start coming. Except that this is notorious Bush and Sansome, where things don’t work that way.

And then here come the judge – tickets for everybody! It’s like Oprah handing out Pontiacs – YOU GET A TICKET! AND YOU GET A TICKET! AND YOU GET A TICKET!

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(Mind you, this is an intersection where it’s quite safe to loiter about, so fret not.)

(Hey, is she recording the Vehicle Identification Numbers of all these rides? I think not. Is that some sort of technicality that will allow you to get out of your ticket after spending hours and hours of time fighting your ticket? IDK.)

Some drivers get stuck, but I’m thinking, well just make the left up Sansome* while you have the chance and then you’ll avoid a painful three-figure citation. But the drivers, then don’t have respect, they don’t see the danger.

And I’ll bet most of them aren’t even aware that they’re getting a citation.

Eventually, the driving culture at this intersection will change** if this woman makes a habit of harvesting money on the Evening Drive each and every day.

I ask you, Gentle Reader, what if the rest of SFGov were as efficient as this PCO?

*Whether it’s legal or not. In this case, that would be a legal turn but even if it weren’t, the chances of getting a moving violation doing that are virtually nil, as opposed to a parking ticket, where the odds are virtually certain. 

**In the old days, the SFMTA would tell its PCOs to stop handing out tickets during the Evening Drive and start directing traffic at busy intersections. Those days are over. This woman can pay her salary and fund her generous benefits and retirement package in one or two minutes of her shift. Remarkable!

“Hi San Francisco!” – The New TargetExpress Store at Bush and Sansome Looks Pretty Sweet

Tuesday, March 17th, 2015

I don’t know, do you care about stores ‘n stuff?

Here it is:

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I thought it would be like a convenience store, but no they sell cell phones and tablets and all kinds of stuff.

Big, in’nt it?

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Now, here are your Tar-zhays, in order of size, as best I can figure:

Greatland

Regular

City

Express

All right, see you there!

Forget About Those “CityTarget” Stores, an Even Smaller “TargetExpress” Opens March 9th at Bush and Sansome – Oh, They’re Hiring

Thursday, February 19th, 2015

Here’s the signage:

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And here’s the samwich board on Bush, offering jobs:

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And here’s the interior, so far:

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Poor Walgreen’s!

Poor CVS!

Bienvenido a San Francisco, TargetExpress

All the deets:

Target to Open Smaller-Format Stores in San Francisco’s Financial District and Berkeley – New TargetExpress Stores Customize Guest Experience

MINNEAPOLIS —

Target Corp. (NYSE: TGT) today announced plans to open two new TargetExpress stores in San Francisco’s Financial District and Berkeley, Calif., in March 2015. Target’s first TargetExpress store opened this year in Minneapolis, and the San Francisco-area stores will mark the first time Target is expanding this format outside the Minneapolis area.

The San Francisco store will be approximately 18,000 square feet and located at the southwest corner of Bush Street and Sansome Street, next to the Montgomery BART station, in the heart of the financial district. The Berkeley store will be approximately 12,000 square feet and located at the southeast corner of Shattuck Avenue and Allston Way, next to the Downtown Berkeley BART station, near the main entrance to the University of California, Berkeley.

“From listening to our guests at the two San Francisco CityTarget stores, we know the smaller format of TargetExpress will fit right into the busy San Francisco Bay Area lifestyle and enable us to cater to each community’s needs,” said Kamau Witherspoon, senior director, Store Operations, Target.

Target store teams have spent time understanding each local community to determine the right merchandise mix for each store, so both TargetExpress locations will be customized to fit the individual needs of the surrounding neighborhoods. For example, the Bush Street store will feature a large grab-and-go area with sandwiches, salads, breakfast items like yogurt and mid-day snacks for busy commuters on the go. The store will also include a Starbucks and select items from Target’s Made to Matter collection, which features products from San Francisco Bay Area companies like Annies, Yes To and Method.

The Berkeley store will offer a large selection of grocery items, including produce, dairy, frozen, snacks and beverages to serve the students, commuters and residents of Berkeley. Additionally, both new TargetExpress stores will be stocked with essentials in home, beauty and electronics, including a robust assortment of Target’s owned brands. The stores will also include Target’s popular pick-up-in-store service and a pharmacy.

Target opened the first TargetExpress in Minneapolis in July, and has announced plans to open one in the Highland Park area of St. Paul, Minn. in 2015. A third San Francisco Bay Area TargetExpress will also open in 2015, with a location to be announced in the coming months.

About Target

Minneapolis-based Target Corporation (NYSE: TGT) serves guests at 1,925 stores – 1,795 in the United States and 130 in Canada – and at Target.com. Since 1946, Target has given 5 percent of its profit to communities, that giving equals more than $4 million a week. For more information, visitTarget.com/Pressroom. For a behind-the-scenes look at Target, visit ABullseyeView.com or follow @TargetNews on Twitter.

The Only Thing Sadder Than the Street Corner Christmas Trees of January is This Sad-Sack Lebanese Cedar in GGP

Friday, February 6th, 2015

So I see this tree in Golden Gate Park and I’m like, “What is you? Is you a tree?”

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If you want your own Cedrus libani Pendula, just cut up a Christmas tree and throw all the branches in a pile, cause that’s pretty much what this bush thing looks like:

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I’m amazed.

A spectacular large shrub featuring beautiful dense horizontal and weeping branching with stunning bright green new foliage; ideal for form and texture in the shrub garden and worth seeking out”

Leaving San Francisco’s Unconstitutional Church Parking Policy Aside, This Isn’t How You Should Park on Bush Street

Friday, January 2nd, 2015

So fine, you have a church and SFGov lets you tell your attendees it’s OK to park on the street out front.

Because this policy is unconstitutional, the SFMTA can’t lay down any official rules to the game. But I can.

So, when you’re completely filling up an entire city block with cars, you churches ought to leave the spaces near crosswalks empty.

You see, this kind of a thing here is a problem:

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So, keep your cars at least 30 feet away from any crosswalk, how’s that for a rule?

Oh, what’s that, you don’t care? Well, OK. But following this rule would be the Christian thing to do, right, Christian?

How Would Jesus Park? Well, He wouldn’t double park so close to a crosswalk, that’s for sure…

END OF LINE

Extremely Airbnb People, 94115

Monday, November 10th, 2014

I mean, extremely. There’s no way they’d be hanging about the Western Addition like this, without a clue whether their next step is to the north, south, east, or west, but for Airbnb, or something like Airbnb.

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Of course, some welcome this development and others don’t.

No matter, it’s an ongoing revolution