Posts Tagged ‘c. w.’

Sammy Kitwara and Mamitu Daska Win Bay to Breakers 2012, But Not As Many are Watching the Race This Year

Sunday, May 20th, 2012

There he is this morning, #21, on the right, already breaking away from the pack halfway through the Golden Gate Park Panhandle on Fell:

Click to expand

Get all the deets on the high-placing runners right here at Fog City Journal from Luke Thomas.

Now I’ll tell you, I didn’t register for the 101st running of the Bay to Breakers, so that means I haven’t signed away my right to ever in my life “attack, embarrass or disparage” San Francisco’s littlest TV news station, KRON-TV.* Therefore, I have the freedom to ask, “What the hell, KRON? You start broadcasting the race at 8:00 AM after all the winners have crossed the finish line?”

Is this the smallest BtoB in recent memory? Seems that way. The past week the Philip Anschutz people couldn’t even give away registrations. Oh well.

LinkedIn won, once again, in the Centipede category:

(The Philip Anschutz people used to call this category “Human Centipede,” with hilarious results.)

Back in the day, there were hundreds of thousands of people out there on Bay to Breakers Day, and no fences, and everything seemed to work out. But in this day, of uptight rich white NIMBYs living in the Western Addition and Hayes Valley and district elections affecting the behavior of San Francisco Supervisors, things are different. OK.

OK fine.

*It’s true. It’s in the waiver you assented to – you can’t “attack, embarrass or disparage” any Sponsor and KRON’s a Sponsor so there you go. 

Here’s This Year’s Official Bay to Breaker Press Release from the SFPD and Here’s How It’s Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

Friday, May 18th, 2012

LEAVE US BEGIN:

“More than ever, City officials and race organizers are serious about keeping the race free from alcohol abuse and nuisance behavior.”

SO THIS IS THE STANDARD LINE FROM SFGOV-APPROVED MEDIA FLACK DAVID PERRY, WHO GETS PAID TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO ATTEMPT TO PROMOTE WHATEVER IT IS THAT SFGOV WANTS PROMOTED. LIKE, “THERE’S NO HALLOWEEN IN THE CASTRO, WE’RE SERIOUS.” FOR THE BAY TO BREAKERS IT’S BASICALLY, “NO ALCOHOL, WE”RE SERIOUS.” AND THEN DAVID PERRY PUTS UP A RECYCLED, HALF-ASSED WEBSITE. (ALL HIS SITES LOOK THE SAME, COMPLETE WITH THE SEAL OF SAN FRANCISCO FOR COLOR OF AUTHORITY.)

NOW, WHAT DOES DAVID PERRY BILL THE CITY FOR THIS SERVICE? $10,000? $40,000? I HAVE NO IDEA. WHAT’S IT WORTH? ABOUT ZERO, THAT’S WHAT IT’S WORTH. BUT FOR SOME REASON, THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO JUST LOVES GIVING MONEY TO DAVID PERRY – TO KEEP HIS BUSINESS GOING, I GUESS.

ANYWAY, HERE’S THE WEBSITE THAT DAVID PERRY GETS PAID FOR WHETHER ANYBODY LOOKS AT IT OR NOT. NOTE THAT DAVID PERRY STEALS PHOTOGRAPHS TO DECORATE HIS WEBSITES. FOR EXAMPLE, FIND THE SHOT THAT LOOKS PROFESSIONAL AND THAT’LL BE THE ONE THAT DAVID PERRY REPEATEDLY USES “COMMERCIALLY.” DO YOU HAVE A LICENSE, DAVID PERRY? NO YOU DO NOT. IS THAT HOW YOU ROLL, DAVID PERRY? YES IT IS. MOVING ON…

“Bay to Breakers has always been a blast for everyone,” said San Francisco Police Chief Greg Suhr.

A BLAST? WOW, YOU’RE THE COOLEST POLICE CHIEF EVER, GREG SUHR!

“Last year was no different, with the singular exception of no alcohol allowed. In some years past, because alcohol was allowed, there was a negative impact of our neighborhoods and we don’t want to see that repeated. That said, we hope that everyone will come and have a great time again, absent any alcohol.”

UM, ARE YOU SAYING ALCOHOL WAS OFFICIALLY “ALLOWED” AT THE BAY TO BREAKERS TWO YEARS AGO? NO IT WAS NOT. SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT GREG SUHR? YOU SEEM OUT OF TOUCH ON THIS ISSUE.

NOW, HERE’S WHAT THE SFPD WANTS YOU TO DO WITH YOUR ALCOHOL AT THE BAY TO BREAKERS. IT’S A DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL POLICY:

IT’S AS SIMPLE AS THAT. THE SFPD WANTS YOU TO DRINK YOUR ALCOHOL IN A NON-OBVIOUS WAY AT THE BAY TO BREAKERS. IF YOU WALK THE COURSE HOLDING A CAN OF BUD, THE SFPD MIGHT MAKE YOU POUR IT OUT, VERY POSSIBLY. BUT IF YOU TRANSFER YOUR STUFF TO ANOTHER CONTAINER AS THE SFPD WANTS YOU TO DO, THEN YOU’LL BE FINE.

THAT’S WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY, “NO ALCOHOL ALLOWED”

WHAT THE SFPD WANTS TO DO AT THE BAY TO BREAKERS, FUNDAMENTALLY, IS TO LOOK AT GIRLS, TALK TO GIRLS, AND OTHERWISE INTERACT WITH GIRLS:

ALL THE LIVE-LONG DAY

THUSLY:

BUT IF YOU CAUSE TROUBLE, BY GETTING IN A FIGHT OR SOMETHING, THEY’LL HAUL YOU OFF, SIMPLE AS THAT.

MOVING ON…

AH, HERE’S DAVID PERRY AGAIN, PROMOTING HIS USELESS WEBSITE. HELLO DAVID PERRY!

To emphasize the point, a special campaign website is active at www.baytobreakers100.com with public transit information, rules and regulations, video PSAs and links to social media sites stressing this year’s campaign.

WHAT WOULD THE WORLD DO WITHOUT YOUR USELESS EFFORTS?

NOW, THE CITY FAMILY IS DOING ITS BEST TO PROMOTE THE CANDIDACY OF “RUN ED RUN” PROMOTER CHRISTINA OLAGUE, WHO’S PROBABLY SAN FRANCISCO’S LEAST INTELLIGENT SUPERVISOR NOW THAT MICHELA ALIOTO-PIER IS GONE. CHRISTINA IS THE REPUBLICAN-APPROVED SAN FRANCISCO PROGRESSIVE, SO SHE’S ALLOWED TO MOUTH OFF ON HER PET ISSUES, BUT SHE CAN BE COUNTED ON TO SUPPORT REPUBLICAN-SUPPORTED MAYOR ED LEE WHEN HE WANTS HER TO SUPPORT HIM. YOU KNOW, WHEN IT COUNTS. ANYWAY, HERE SHE IS SAYING, “VOTE FOR ME, VOTE FOR ME,” IN SO MANY WORDS:

“This year, will be my first Bay to Breakers as Supervisor for District 5 and I couldn’t be more excited to be a part of it and share this great event with our community,” said District 5 Supervisor Christina Olague. “Coming off of the successes of last year, I am confident that this race will only continue to improve as it enters into its second century here in the Bay Area. Last year, we saw a very different Bay to Breakers than in year’s prior. The new rules implemented by race organizers clearly made a difference and the sold out race was said to be a success by city officials, neighborhoods, media, and the organizers themselves. We expect the same result of our participants this year.”

SO LAST YEAR’S RUNNING WAS A SUCCESS, OFFICIALLY? WELL THAT’S NEWS TO ME. CONSIDER LAST YEAR’S EVENT A BASELINE, IF YOU WANT. BUT LAST YEAR, IN FACT, EVERYBODY WAS DRINKING, THERE WERE HUGE HOUSE PARTIES ON FELL STREET, DPW’S STREET REOPENING SCHEDULE WAS A COMPLETE JOKE, MOST OF THE PARTICIPANTS DIDN’T REGISTER AND YADAYADAYADA. (AND I’LL NOTE THAT THIS YEAR’S RACE IS NOT A SELL-OUT, NOT EVEN CLOSE.)

ALL RIGHT, MAYBE THAT’S WHY PEOPLE DON’T TALK ABOUT THE BAY TO BREAKERS VERY MUCH ANYMORE, MAYBE PEOPLE THINK IT’S FINE THE WAY IT IS. OF COURSE TICKET SALES ARE WAY DOWN FROM LAST YEAR AND TICKET PRICES ARE UP AND THIS EVENT IS WAY SMALLER THAN IT WAS IN YEARS PAST, BUT THE CITY FAMILY IS COOL WITH THE B2B, APPARENTLY.

OK, WELL, IF OUR CITY FAMILY CAN DEAL WITH THE WAY THE BAY TO BREAKERS IS NOW, THEN SO CAN I.

ON WITH THE SHOW…

The Horrible Dog Owners of San Francisco: So This is What an Off-Leash Dog vs. Wild Coyote Incident Looks Like

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

Via SFist comes news of a short video of a dog-coyote interaction in Golden Gate Park. (This is news to me, anyway. Thanks, Norimitsu Onishi of the New York Times.)

Here’s your problem, it’s yet another off-leash dog in Glen Park:

Now, how would this affair end up getting described by a bad dog owner to, I don’t know, a simple-minded reporter the likes of CW Nevius?

Coyotes aren’t dangerous, dogs are dangerous.

“Animal Care & Control Concerned About Coyote Interactions

San Francisco – San Franciscans do not seem to be getting the message about how to coexist peacefully with local wildlife.

San Francisco Animal Care & Control has been notified about individuals who still allow their dogs illegally off -leash in active coyote areas despite education, posters, flyers, signs and barriers all warning dog owners to abide by the law and keep their dogs on-leash or, better yet, avoid the marked areas entirely. These irresponsible individuals are putting themselves, their dogs, and the coyotes and their pups at great risk (see video link below). Accordingly, after seeking expert advice and in collaboration with the San Francisco Recreation and Park Department, San Francisco Animal Care & Control suggested closure of locations in Golden Gate Park where coyotes appear to be anxiously protecting dens.

San Franciscans share natural places with a variety of wildlife, including coyotes. Temporary park closures are for the comfort and safety of people, pets and wildlife during breeding season. Birthing and pup rearing has the local coyotes feeling hormonally more protective which may result in more assertive behavior (as in the video). Our goals are to give coyote families temporary relief from stress (dogs) while ensuring public safety. Preventing confrontations such as this is the best policy.

San Francisco Animal Care & Control receives many inquiries about options for removing the coyotes. Relocation is illegal under CA State law. It is also inhumane. Lethal removal is ineffective and unethical since another coyote will simply take its place, often within weeks. San Francisco Animal Care & Control and coyote experts feel that the local coyotes are here to stay and their hope is that the community learns to peacefully coexist with them.

San Francisco Animal Care & Control encourages the community to be responsible pet guardians; leash dogs where required and respect temporary park closures. Wildlife in San Francisco needs a little breathing room while its young are present. Urban wildlife is part of the health of San Francisco’s parks – part of the heritage and history of our area – and coexistence is possible with a little give-and-take.Link to film of dogs harassing coyotes in San Francisco:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9vmpgzF8sU&list=UUtZ-dJ3bfs61GpS-9p9rpJQ&index=1&feature=p1cp

The Department of Animal Care & Control is a taxpayer-funded, open door animal shelter. ACC provides housing, care and medical treatment to wild, exotic and domestic stray, lost, abandoned sick, injured and/or surrendered animals. ACC aims to rehome or reunite domestic animals with their guardians and to rehabilitate and release wildlife to their native habitat. ACC responds to animal related emergencies 24/7 including animal abuse and neglect as well as matters of public safety. Animal Care & Control is located at 1200 15th St. (at Harrison.)

Deb Campbell
Volunteer / Outreach Coordinator

Animal Care & Control
1200 15th Street
San Francisco, CA. 94103

Phone:415.554.9427
Fax: 415.557.9950
E.Mail: deb.campbell@sfgov.org

www.animalshelter.sfgov.org”

Bay to Breakers 2012 is Shaping Up Horribly – People Just Aren’t Registering the Way They Used To – End of an Era?

Friday, May 11th, 2012

[Get up-to-speed on years past right here.]

I still haven’t heard word one about the Bay to Breakers this year. It’s uncanny.

So let’s see, the BtoB people are freaking out now about all the unsold registrations they’re trying to unload. They just had a Cinco de Mayo sale (I’m seriously) and now they’re offering a Mother’s Day special for discount sub-$50 registration. But past participants aren’t biting because even at the high price of $48(!) YOU DON”T GET A T-SHIRT! That’s a new thing, I suppose, since those T’s were famous back in the day.

Anyway, if you want a runner’s bib you can buy one at a discount on craigslist (because these bibs aren’t worth all that much and they’re certainly not worth the $100 that some people have paid) or just make your own if you feel comfortable with that.

This mustard color should fit right in with the crowd:

Don’t click to expand and don’t print this out on your color inkjet printer, you know, in portrait mode.

But if you want to give money to Colorado “Christian Billionaire” Philip Anschutz, then go right ahead and register, I don’t care. He gives his money to support Prop 8 and fight the concept of evolution so if you want to help him with that, go right ahead and give him your money by registering for the B to B.

Anyway, it’s hard to believe that this historic race is coming up in nine days and yet nobody’s talking about it.

All right, let’s hear from former B2B fan Mike Scott and a bunch of other people.

Comments:

“$48 for a timed race and $2 medal: no t-shirt! $10 more for them mailing the bib to us? No transit included with the registration! Seriously, at $58 for 50,000 people, I need to whack someone so I can run this thing. I appreciate it’s a logistics challenge, but it ain’t rocket science.”

“don’t forget the $6 processing fee!”

“I’m officially retiring from B@B after 25 years. To expensive and no longer fun anymore”

“Charging for the t-shirt! This is REALLY sick. I’ve run this race 17 times, and any number of other races. Charging EXTRA for the t-shirt when that’s the real medal any runner wants (aside from a good time)? This race is obviously being run by a non-runner with a financial agenda in mind, NOT with the reverance the Breakers has to the history of this city and to the runners who love it. IF I register this year, it will be my last time as a swan song memory. You folks are giving this race a bad name.

“I hope you’re paying attention to all the comments on your web site, Facebook and elsewhere regarding the charges and changes you people are making. You’re killing a great race which USED to be the biggest block party in the country, along with TAC sanction. Veterans like me and many others are just not into what you’re doing. Please don’t tell me about all the charges and costs. Somebody’s making bucks on this and it’s very, very sad. After running it 17 times, this, my 18th time, will, without doubt, be my last. I will be coming up from L.A. for is as I have for the last 5 runs. Before that, I lived in the Bay Area and ran it 12 years in a row. What you’re calling a party at the end is a joke, and charging for t-shirts is obscene. By the way, I’m not running with a cane, and do hope to finish under 1 hour. I run for time and all the joy that USED to come with the party afterwards in the polo fields. Music, vendors, a place to chill and spread out afterwards. You probably haven’t been around long enough to realize that even having a place to find your friends in the bleachers by alphabet made this sooo special. Now, it’s just another race put on by some big corporate sponsor who really could give a crap about what is was to the people running, and to the city of San Francisco. Shame on you.

“I miss the days when the SF Examiner was the race sponsor. Ever since Zazzle took over this race, they’ve diminished it. The entry fees are now OUTRAGEOUS and what race sponsor does NOT include a t-shirt in their fees? That’s just BS! They no longer allow floats and they’ve moved the starting time up to 7:00am which is BRUTAL for those of us, like me, down in the south bay. This has always been my favorite race of the year and sadly, they are really ruining it. Shame on you Zazzle! Some things are about tradition….not money!

“Oh you can get a t-shirt but you have to register at the “Plus” level with is $72 or the “Premium” level which is $89.50!! That doesn’t even include the additional fees for Muni to get you to or from the starting/finish line or the added fees to have your packet mailed to you or the processing fees. I’ve never had to pay this much for a 12k race entry in my life. It used to be $35 and you got a t-shirt. Last year they changed the starting time to 7:00am so we had to leave SJ by 5:00am which was ridiculous. They never used to have a limit on entries and now it’s cutoff at 50,000 (years ago there were more than 80,000 entries) and they eliminated a lot of traditional things (like the floats). That’s part of what made it so whacky and fun! All they care about now is $$. They’re just ruining the tradition of this race and robbing people blind now.

“I think it’s really sad what they’re doing to this 101 year old iconic race. My husband, my friend, & I have been doing this event for almost 30 years together. Now they’ve taken all of the fun, camaraderie, family togetherness (ie: no running strollers so no young families, no dogs so no companions, not to mention no T-shirt with our registration).. out of it.(I don’t care about no alcohol) Next they’ll say no walking, so no old fogies, like our gang :-( Booooooooooo!

“That’s it. Priced me right out of this one. Between hotel, meals, transportation and no t-shirt with basic registration and starting at 7am again this is not fun. $57 times 50000 is $2.85million. Really?”

“I’ve been running this since 1996. I can’t believe that costs have gone up and only by paying even more one gets a tshirt. I’m going to have think about this. I just ran the Oakland Running Festival today. Well organized, friendly, low corporate footprint, and depending on which race you ran you got a specific shirt. You guys are losing the spirit in more ways than one.”

Bay to Breakers was going fine for almost a century, so what went wrong?

 

Central Subway Update: Aaron Peskin and Quentin Kopp Object to World’s Shortest and Most Expensive Subway Line

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

It looks like it will be up to Congress to stop the horrible, out-of-control Central Subway Project. That’s our last chance.

Click on the 13-minute video below to listen to former Board of Supervisors President Aaron Peskin succinctly make the case for killing this turkey.

And here’s some coverage from the local press:

Joe Eskenazi of SF Weekly: Central Subway Critics: Costly Boondoggle Can Still Be Stopped

Michael Cabanatuan of the San Francisco Chronicle: Reinforcements enlisted in battle against Central Subway

KQED: SF Central Subway Opponents Worry About ‘Blank Check

And oh, hey, what about San Francisco’s #1 Mayor Ed Lee Kiss-Ass / Suck-up, you know, San Francisco Chronicle writer CW Nevius, what does he think of the Central Subway?

Nevius: Chinatown subway plan makes me wince

Oh, but that was all the way back in 2008 and, you know, these days The Nevius doesn’t have the stones, apparently, to comment about this particular boondoggle anymore. Oh well.

Enjoy:

(Is Aaron Peskin a good public speaker?

Yes, Aaron Peskin a good public speaker.)

And oh, how can Federal Transit Administration leader Peter Rogoff get away with saying that the Central Subway will reduce trip time from 27 minutes to 7 minutes?

This is a complete fantasy.

Is he seriously misinformed or is he lying? I can’t tell.

Does he mean that the pink bag mafia will spend an average of seven minutes descending 30+ yards down into Mother Earth and waiting for the short line? Is that what he means? But that by itself doesn’t get you anywhere you want to go. It just gets you 30 yards beneath C-Town.

Anyway Congress, please, please, please kill this boondoggery.

Consider This Your Invitation to the Bay to Breakers Street Party in the Panhandle on May 20th – It’s Free! – It’s Fun!

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

Hey, it’s time to start organizing your trip to San Francisco for the Bay to Breakers street party on May 20th, 2012. Do you have your costume ready yet?

Here’s just one house on Fell Street, from last year:

Click to expand

Here’s your official guide.

Now I’ll tell you, in years past, there were all kinds of controversies regarding this annual tradition. But so far in 2012 I haven’t heard word one in the media about this event. That’s a big green light for you and your friends to come on down this year. The thing that’s changed lately is that you can’t have parade floats to push around anymore. That’s it.

But whatever you do, don’t register. All that does is send money to some hard-core right winger Prop 8 supporting billionaire fitness nut who “bought” this event because he liked participating in it. No, just show up ready to par-TAY.

Oh, and remember, don’t let anybody in some T-shirt push you around. The only people who you need to listen to are in the SFPD, pretty much.

And me – I’ve lived on Fell Street for donkey’s years and I, personally, am inviting you and your cousins and your frat and/or sorority to come on down.

See you soon!

 

 

CW Nevius Spanking Machine: The San Francisco Chronicle’s Dimmest Bulb Takes On the Ross Mirkarimi Case, Three Times

Monday, March 12th, 2012

San Francisco Chronicle opinion “reporter” CW Nevius should stick to his opinions, IMO. Cause it’s when he mixes up his opinions with what he considers facts, that’s when the trouble starts.

Anyway, I don’t question his ability to get people to answer his phone calls and then offer quotes, but I do question his ability to understand what those people tell him.

Oh well.

Here it is, a Nevius column three-way mash-up, starting all the way back in the month of January 2012.

(And, as always, please keep in mind that The Nevius is NOT biased on this particular topic, not at all, like why would you even think that?)

“The neighbor who called authorities with concerns (and good for her) learned that the hard way. She reportedly said she only wanted to express concern, not to release the photo or the cell phone texts.”

SO, SOMEBODY  CALLS THE COPS TO “EXPRESS CONCERN?” WHO DOES THAT? SOMEBODY WHO’S HORRIBLY NAIVE, LIKE IVORY MADISON? AND SHE DOES IT WITH HER VERY OWN PERSONAL IPHONE? SO YOU CALL THE COPS AND TELL THEM YOU HAVE SOLID EVIDENCE OF A CRIME BUT YOU’RE NOT READY TO TURN IT OVER TO THEM. I MEAN, HOW MANY MINUTES WILL IT TAKE FOR THEM TO BE BANGING ON YOUR DOOR? OH WAIT, YOU POLITELY ASKED THEM _NOT_ TO STAR-69 YOU? WELL IN THAT CASE…

There are many people in law enforcement who dislike him and don’t think he is fit for the job.

THE THOUGHTS OF “MANY PEOPLE” ARE ALWAYS CONGRUENT WITH CW NEVIUS IN CW NEVIUS-LAND. HOW CONVENIENT!

There is a school of thought that says Mirkarimi should step gracefully away from the job now and get on with his life.

SEE? MORE “THOUGHT” FROM THE NEVE. NEVE IS UPSET THAT ROSS MIRKARIMI WON THE SHERIFF’S RACE, SO NEVE IS HAPPY TO SEE ROSS GO, OF COURSE.

There is the possibility that Mirkarimi could be angling for something like a plea of “no contest,” which doesn’t carry the stigma of a guilty plea.

UH, NEVIUS, HOW SIMPLE ARE YOU? HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE TERM BEFORE? DO YOU EXPECT YOUR READERS TO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT “NO CONTEST” MEANS? AND OH, IT MEANS “GUILTY,” MORE OR LESS, SO YES, THERE’S A STIGMA ATTACHED TO NOT FIGHTING WHEN A DISTRICT ATTORNEY IS TRYING YOU FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG. FOR _MOST_ PEOPLE, SUCH A PLEA CARRIES THE SAME STIGMA OF A GUILTY PLEA. AND, AS GOES WITHOUT SAYING, IT’S OUR RIGHT TO PLEA THAT WAY IN CALIFORNIA. YOU SEE, THERE’S NO “ANGLING,” THERE’S NO DEAL STRATEGERY REQUIRED, DESPITE WHAT YOU THINK, NEVE.

But to Mirkarimi, that may seem like caving in.

AS IT WOULD TO ANYONE.

Fighting the charges and winning would be the sweet vindication for Mirkarimi. He would never get tired of saying “I told you so,” and no one could blame him.

UH, I DON’T THINK HE WOULD GO AROUND SAYING “I TOLD YOU SO.” AND IF HE DID, PEOPLE COULD AND WOULD BLAME HIM.

Until now, I’ve gone along with the idea of letting the Ross Mirkarimi misdemeanor domestic battery case play out.

HOW GENEROUS OF YOU. ARE YOU THE FOURTH BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT, CW NEVIUS? AREN’T YOU MERELY AN EX-JOCK MOVIE REVIEWER? I THINK SO.

It is time for Mirkarimi to cut his losses. Clearly he is fighting for his political life. But that cannot be the only consideration. What about what is good for the city?

IN NEVIUS-LAND, EVERY POLITICIAN IN TOWN SHOULD BE A REPUBLICAN OR BUSINESS DEMOCRAT. PER NEVIUS, THAT’S WHAT WOULD BE “GOOD FOR THE CITY.” AND SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE GOOD OF THE CITY SO MUCH? HEY NEVIUS, DON’T YOU ACTUALLY OPPOSE THE CENTRAL SUBWAY? I THINK YOU DO, OR AT LEAST YOU USED TO. REMEMBER HOW THE VERY THOUGHT OF IT MADE YOU “WINCE?” BUT YOU CAN’T VERY WELL OPPOSE IT NOW, CAN YOU, NOW THAT IT’S GOTTEN A LOT WORSE? WHAT WOULD THAT BE LIKE, NEVE, IF YOU WOULD VOICE YOUR CONCERNS OVER ROSE PAK’S SUBWAY TO NOWHERE, YOU KNOW, “FOR THE GOOD OF THE CITY?” ALL YOUR RECENT BEAT SWEETENER AND SOURCE GREASER COLUMNS, WELL, THEY’D BE FOR NAUGHT, RIGHT?

It wouldn’t be inconceivable that it would be the middle of March before a courtroom was assigned.

FRET NOT, NEVE, THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO ACTUALLY FOUND A PLACE TO HOLD A CRIMINAL TRIAL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

Although Ivory Madison’s biography says she attended law school, whether or not she was working as an attorney, or represented Lopez, is bound to be contentious. And that’s just one of the issues. The video is pivotal to the case, so there will probably be further challenges of that.

YOU KNOW NEVE, BY YOUR STANDARDS, YOUR ERRORS IN REPORTING THIS CASE AREN’T ALL THAT EGREGIOUS. HOWEVER, THIS BONER IS WHY YOU’RE IN THE SPANKING MACHINE AGAIN. IVORY MADISON NEED NOT HAVE BEEN ‘WORKING AS AN ATTORNEY” NOR “REPRESENTING” ANYBODY IN ORDER FOR THE ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE TO APPLY. YOU TALK TO EXPERTS, THEY TELL YOU THE RIGHT THING, AND THEN YOU SCREW IT UP, OVER AND OVER AND OVER. DON’T YOU HAVE AN EDITOR BY NOW? OR ARE YOU EMPOWERED TO WRITE WHATEVER CRAP YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU MAKE MONEY(?) FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE? DO YOU EVER ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MANY MANY MISTAKES? DO YOU EVER ISSUE CORRECTIONS? ANYWHO, THE “CONTENTIOUS” ISSUES YOU WONDERED ABOUT WEREN’T CONTENTIOUS AT ALL, AS IT TURNED OUT, AND AS SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS TO YOU. YES EVEN YOU.

A reasonable suggestion would be for him to plead no contest to the charges.

A REASONABLE SUGGESTION FROM A SUBURBAN-MINDED REPUBLICAN SUCH AS YOURSELF, THAT’S WHAT YOU MEAN.

He should admit mistakes, apologize, and lay out a plan of rehabilitation – anger management, family counseling and personal guidance. He could say he has seen his errors and faced up to them. Therefore, he could say, he should be allowed to remain on as sheriff. Keeping the job would be a long shot. Personally, I’d oppose it.

OK, SO IT’S “DO EVERYTHING I SAY AND THE REWARD WILL BE ME, THE NEVIUS, OPPOSING YOU FROM FULFILLING THE WISHES OF THE VOTERS.” IS THAT YOUR CARROT-AND-STICK APPROACH, NEVE? MORE LIKE STICK AND STICK, IT WOULD SEEM.

Today it is a public soap opera, with trial-stalling delays, media scrums in the courthouse, and open snickering about ex-girlfriends’ panties.

I THINK YOU MEAN PAIR OF PANTIES, NEVE. LIKE ONE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING. YOU SEE, THE WAY YOU SAID IT MADE IT SEEM LIKE THERE WERE MULTIPLE GFS AND MULTIPLE PAIRS OF FOUND PANTIES. OH, I SEE, WE’RE IN NEVIUS-LAND, WHERE A “REPORTER,” SUCH AS YOURSELF ISN’T HELD TO THE SAME STANDARDS AS ANY OTHER REPORTER. OK.

It all could have been avoided. I understand if Mirkarimi and Eliana Lopez, his wife, feel wronged and want to fight the charges. But instead of having their lawyers challenge each piece of evidence, get up on the stand, make your case – Lopez does sound convincing – and let a jury decide.

WOW, SO WILLIAM WALLACE SHOULD JUST HAVE GIVEN UP TO KING ED BEFORE THE BATTLE OF FALKIRK EVEN BEGAN? BAD FORM.

Granted, the videotape of Lopez crying and pointing to a bruise on her arm doesn’t look good. But Mirkarimi and Lopez’s lawyers aren’t disputing the facts or saying it is a fake. They’re trying to remove it on a legal technicality. Just let them play the tape and respond.

NOW WHO’S THE FAKE ATTORNEY, IVORY MADISON OR YOU, NEVIUS?

Meanwhile, those who predicted a one-week trial are getting a lesson in the speed of justice.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, NEVIUS? WHO ARE THESE STRAWMEN?

As weeks tick away, insiders estimate that Mirkarimi’s legal fees could be running into six figures.

WOW, “INSIDERS!” INSIDERS SUCH AS YOURSELF, NEVE?

Legally, everything turns on the video of Mirkarimi’s wife.

WOW, YOU EXPLAIN THE COMPLEX LEGALITIES SO WELL, PROFESSOR CONVENTIONAL WISDOM NEVIUS, JD. YOUR INSIGHT IS BOTH BOLD AND UNIQUE (OR NOT).

Lopez’s attorney, Paula Canny, says because the tape was made by a neighbor, Ivory Madison, who has a law degree, the tape would be violating attorney-client privilege.

NOT EXACTLY, NEVE. WHAT MATTERED IS WHAT LOPEZ BELIEVED, OF COURSE, UNDER CA LAW. THAT’S NOT ALL THAT MATTERED OF COURSE, AS THIS GAMBIT FAILED, BUT ANYWAY. YOU’RE PUTTING WORDS IN HER MOUTH, NEVE. YOU HAVE NO FRAME OF REFERENCE, DONNY. YOU’RE LIKE A CHILD WHO WANDERS INTO THE MIDDLE OF A MOVIE…

It may be a plausible legal argument but it stops the trial dead…

NOT REALLY, AS IT TURNED OUT.

Because now after months of these charges, those panties, and that tape of his weeping and bruised wife, this will follow Mirkarimi the rest of his life.

AND IF THE TRIAL HAD OCCURRED, SOMEHOW, IN FEBRUARY 2012, THEN THIS SITUATION _WOULDN’T_ HAVE FOLLOWED MIRKARIMI AROUND FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE ARGUING?

Keane compared him to O.J. Simpson, which sounded like a stretch.

YOU MEAN IT SEEMD A STRETCH AT FIRST, TO YOUR SIMPLE MIND? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN?

Simpson was charged with murder, not spousal abuse.

I GET YOUR POINT ON THIS, NEVE, BUT YOU’RE SORT OF WRONG ON THIS SCORE.*

But there are similarities.

WASN’T THAT HIS FUCKING POINT, NEVE? YOUR READERS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU, NEVE. SO WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO THEM?

After a long, painful, media-frenzy of a trial, Simpson was acquitted.

OMG, THAT CHECKS OUT TOO!

But he was a public pariah, his reputation in tatters. Simpson must wonder if it was all worth it. My guess is Ross Mirkarimi will too.

WOW, GREAT GUESS, NEVE. IT’S JUST LIKE WITH HITLER, WHO DIDN’T EVEN NEED THE REICHSTAG FIRE DECREE TO SEIZE POWER. HITLER MUST HAVE WONDERED “IF IT WAS ALL WORTH IT” OR LIKE WITH YOUR BUDDY, MAYOR ED LEE, WHO DIDN’T EVEN NEED STENCIL VOTING AND ROSE PAK TO WIN ELECTION. ED LEE MUST HAVE WONDERED “IF IT WAS ALL WORTH IT” AS WELL, HUH?

YOU’VE GIVEN US ALL A LOT TO THINK ABOUT, NEVE.

*Sort of. Actually OJ was charged with domestic violence too, before he was charged with killing that gal and that guy. I’ll give you just one guess what his plea was…

OMG, Now CW Nevius is on KGO Radio!

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

Well here’s the news, CW Nevius has taken to the air, once again.

Here’s an early review, from Rich Lieberman 415 Media:

“I heard Chronicle metro writer, Chuck Nevius’ new report on the 810 “news” Tuesday. It was plain horrific and god-awful. Nevius’ forte is as a writer. He’s NOT a radio guy. His voice was tantamount to listening to wallpaper. He tried in vain to be funny. He was not. The subject matter was the lights going out at Candlestick at the 49ers game Monday Night. It would have been merely bad if the segment ran a couple minutes. Nevius’ piece droned on well past four minutes. If this is supposed to draw listeners, then some moron needs to get his head examined.”

(Meesa say, “How wude!”)

Anyway, listen for yourself:

SF Chronicle columnist CW Nevius has joined the KGO 810 news team as a daily news commentator.

Nevius is well known to Bay Area readers for his unique look at the Occupy Movement, San Francisco politics, and even street toilets. His first commentary for KGO is a sad farewell to Candlestick Park, where Monday Night’s blackout during the 49er’s game may have signaled the end of the stadium.

C.W. Nevius has been a columnist at the San Francisco Chronicle for over 20 years, covering sports, reviewing movies, and spotting trends. He is currently a metro columnist, appearing on Tuesdays and Saturdays.

As a sports columnist he climbed the ski jump at the Norway Olympics, ate bee larvae in Japan, and skied in the French Alps. In all he covered eight Olympic Games, from Australia to Spain to Korea. (And the strangest place of all, Los Angeles.)

He also wrote about riding the “Straight Talk Express” with John McCain during his first presidential bid, parachuting out of an airplane, and running the Boston Marathon. Although he only reviewed movies for a year, he did rate a blurb with his byline on the DVD box of “Santa Clause II,” to the undying embarrassment of his kids.

He co-authored “Splash Hit,” about building the Giants’ new waterfront stadium with Joan Walsh. His latest book is, “Crouching Father, Hidden Toddler. A Zen Guide for New Dads.”

News and Program Director Paul Hosley said, “We’re thrilled to have a journalist of CW’s caliber join the news team. We look forward to hearing his perspective on the Bay Area’s news stories.”

Realize that this might mean that you’ll have less Nevius to kick around, SF Chronicle-wise.

Oh well.

Invisible airwaves crackle with life 
Bright antenna bristle with the energy 
Emotional feedback on timeless wavelength 
Bearing a gift beyond price, almost free 

 

Hamburg, Frankfurt, Vienna: Teaching CW Nevius, At Long Last, How to Spell District 8 Supervisor Scott Wiener’s Name

Monday, December 26th, 2011

All right, this one is easy, CW Nevius. Leave us begin.

Exhibit A:

Now, just as the word “hamburger” came from Hamburg, Germany (I guess, I don’t know, but work with me here, people), and the word “frankfurter” came from Frankfurt, Germany, the word “wiener” came from Vienna, Austria.

I’m srsly.

So, Chuckles, when you think of Scott Wiener, just imagine him in a Mozart wig or something. That way you’ll think of Vienna and then you’ll never misspell Wiener’s name again.

(Please note that this critique completely ignores the oppressively maudlin tone of Neviusese’s entire end-of-the-year holiday bit. For some reason, Neve’s writings are 80% Republican and 20% maudlin.)

This concludes yet another public spanking of CW Nevius.

Merry Christmas!

Saving Private Nevius: Spending Time Teaching CW Nevius How To Do His Job More Better – America’s Cup Fiasco

Friday, December 16th, 2011

Here it is:

S.F. vote on report big hurdle for America’s Cup

Go ahead, take a look.

Larry Ellison, the Neve’s latest bromance crush:

Click to expand

“Although the turnout… were disappointing, that won’t be the case with the finals when they arrive here in 2013.”

Uh, do you need a copy editor, Neve? (I know of about seven who is on the market as of yesterday, AAMOF.) Anyway, Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, Nevius, how the frack do you know how the frack the gosh darn AC13 is going to turn out? Do you have a crystal ball? Or maybe you want to give readers the impression that everything’s going to work out? Why?

“At least that’s the expectation. This is supposed to be the America’s Cup that changes everything, from the venue, to the TV coverage, to the tactics of sailing. Barclay says these races will turn conventional wisdom on its head.”

Uh, promoters lie. That’s what promoters do, right? What just happened down in Fun Diego was a fucking disaster and people said, “Heads will roll.” And you know what, they were right. At least one head rolled, anyway, on Thanksgiving Eve 2011. Wasn’t he the CEO ‘n stuff? Do you know about that, Neve? No need to mention that though, is there, huh?

“Usually the fastest boat wins,” he said. “But this will be different because of the bay. The space is so confined and the boats are so fast (the 72-footers may reach 50 mph) there will be a lot of maneuvering. And multihull boats do not maneuver well. That means this will be a lot about sailing.”

Gee, you know, don’t you think that if Americans wanted to watch sailing a lot, then we’d already be doing it? What’s so great about sailing? Obviously, people don’t care to watch sailing so why should they? How will doing that improve their lives? And, uh, there’s no way these boats will go 50 MPH. Remember earlier about the lying, Neve? And isn’t it sort of ridiculous to host the America’s Cup in San Francisco Bay? Whose idea is this?

For those of us who do not have a clew (a nautical joke; a clew is the bottom corner of a sail), television will be the key. There are cameras on the boats, digital lines to mark the path, and real-time clocks to show how many seconds a boat is ahead or behind.

Oh, I get it, “clew!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nevius, you so cray-cray! Hey, why don’t we put cameras on on WNBA players? And digital lines, ooh, how exciting! (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.) And a “real time” clock too! (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.)  And a scoreboard what tells how far ahead one team is. (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.) But, oh, nobody wants to watch the WNBA. In that sense, it’s just like sailing. Take a look. They even have the pitchpoling incident that was staged on the bay just for you and the cameras to see, Neve. You realize that that was fake, right Neve? You know, so they could use that scene for their video opening over and over again? Even NASCAR doesn’t stage accidents.

But what you really need to do is see the boats up close. Even with the secrecy surrounding the teams, Barclay said they plan to host a few open houses for the public.

The secrecy is fake, nobody cares. But, oh, they’re going to have open houses? Again, the secrecy is fake, nobody cares. Oh, but you care, Neve? All right. Tell us again, Neve, tell us about your supr sekrt visit to the supr sekrt boat place!

You’ll be able to see what he calls “the little boats,” the 45-footers that raced in San Diego, the “shed” where the 72-footer is being built, and the mammoth 223-foot wing that powered the Oracle trimaran that won the 33rd America’s Cup in Spain. And yes, it is really true that when that wing is fitted to the boat, it reaches up too high to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge.

Think, Neve. You’re talking about a catamaran here. They could put that baby on one hull and slide right under the GGB no problem, why not? Anyway, nobody knows and nobody cares where freaking Larry Ellison last bought his America’s Cup trophy.

It will, all in all, be a mighty and impressive spectacle right here in our bay.

So, that’s your point but you haven’t supported it. In your world, Neve, San Diego was a failure, ergo San Francisco won’t be. Because, because why? Gavin Newsom did a crappy job representing the interests of San Francisco and then, surprise, he’s made honorary poohbah of the whole thing and you think that’s the greatest idea in the world.

Today the Cup preparations are racing downwind, hell-bent for glory. Let’s hope no submerged obstacles pop up.

Why should anybody care, Nevius?