Posts Tagged ‘california’

If You Think BROWN IS THE NEW GREEN During Our Great Drought, Get This Free Sign from Our SFPUC

Friday, April 17th, 2015

If you want to do something about the North American Drought of 2012 – 20xx, you can always drop by at our expensive SFPUC building in the western Twitterloin:

“Signage is available for pick-up at the SFPUC Customer Service Center, 525 Golden Gate Avenue, 1st Floor. Request larger quantities by email landscape@sfwater.org”

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How Would You Like to Drive This Long Long Interstate Bus and Trailer Combo Around SF – Another Band Arrives at The Fillmore

Friday, April 17th, 2015

Narrow streets and hills are to be avoided, of course:

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Smashy Smashy: Broken Window Glass All Over the Western Addition These Days – Interim Mayor Ed Lee Indifferent, Ineffective

Friday, April 17th, 2015

Can you see it?

Look and you’ll see:

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Interim Mayor Ed Lee doesn’t know.

Interim Mayor Ed Lee doesn’t care.

A Couple of Shirtless Bros Hanging Out on Van Ness – National Register #01001179 – Put a (Hand-Painted) Bird on It, Cadillac!

Friday, April 17th, 2015

Male bonding since 1921:

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MUNI Bus Ad Rivet Comes _This Close_ to Becoming a Belly Button Stud

Friday, April 17th, 2015

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“Get Off From Above My Lawn!” – Slacklining Hippies the Bane of the Panhandle – The First Rule of Park Club

Friday, April 17th, 2015

The First Rule of Park Club is No Slacklining.

And The Second Rule of Park Club is No Slacklining too.

Except this blanket prohibition isn’t in the SF Park Code.

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Isn’t that funny?

The closest thing I can find is  a prohibition against damaging trees.

Is that close enough?

IDTS!

JMO

JM Legal O

But prove me wrong, kids.

Prove me wrong.

The Problem with Thinking That You Can Park Your SmartCar “Anywhere” in SF is That It’s Not True – Here Comes the Denver Boot

Friday, April 17th, 2015

Here’s what westside denizen James Corrigan saw the other day – yet another SmartCar with a Denver Boot on the front left wheel:

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What this means is that the owner let at least five parking tickets go unpaid.

The way the owner got the tickets was through forcing it into parking spaces that were illegal, one assumes. These drivers just do whatever they can because they “know” they’ll fit into a space that no one else can. So they park on sidewalks, they overhang crosswalks, they run the gamut is what they do.

Now before the Smart Car came out, your parking champion around town was your “small premium” MINIs. but now we’re in the era of the Smart, which is a little bit bigger than what they sell in Europe, but even so, this ride is way smaller than a MINI.

No matter, just because you have a small car, that doesn’t mean you have reserved parking all over town…

Become an SFPD “Community Police Services Aide” and Make More Money Than Most of the World’s Cops – No Sidearm Tho

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

No gun = lots of problems avoided for your employer, the People of San Francisco.

How does this job title compare with Community Service Officer, the kind of gig they have Down South and Up North? I know not, but it all seems the same to me.

9209 Community Police Services Aide

Recruitment #CBT-9209-900934
Department Police
Analyst Jennifer London
Date Opened 4/7/2015 8:00:00 AM
Filing Deadline 4/17/2015 5:00:00 PM
Salary $55,510.00 – $67,496.00/year
Job Type CBT Discrete
Employment Type Full-Time
Go Back Click HERE to apply Click HERE to view benefits
INTRODUCTION

Announcement clerically amended on 4/9/2015 to include exam related information, to provide information regarding candidate requests, to correct the eligible list duration, and to extend the final filing deadline. Receipt of applications will close at 5:00pm on 4/17/2015.

Applicants who already applied to this recruitment (CBT-9209-900934 Community Police Service Aide) do not need to reapply.

Under general supervision, a Community Police Services Aide performs a variety of police related duties for the San Francisco Police Department. Essential functions may vary depending on assignment and may include: directs traffic and issues citations for parking violations at the San Francisco International Airport; regulates, directs, and searches vehicles entering the Airport Operations Area; accepts and processes complaints in person or over the telephone; ensures security of restricted areas and property; utilizes two-way radios; completes reports and forms; provides information and assistance to the public; assists ill or injured citizens; assists in receiving, storing, and releasing of property; utilizes a computer terminal to enter and retrieve information; provides crowd management during events and emergency situations; sorts, files, and maintains reports and records; transports and retrieves evidence to and from Property Room; maintains inventory of office supplies and operates departmental vehicles. Incumbents also perform related duties as required.

Employees in this classification will be given assignments that may require occasional lifting, moving or carrying materials weighing up to 55 lbs.; extended standing, walking and/or sitting; working in inclement weather; climbing up and down a 4 – 6 feet ladder and working in a noisy environment.

Appointees to this classification must be willing to work days, nights, weekends, holidays, and/or rotating shifts as needed. This job also requires mandatory overtime.

MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS

1. Possession of a high school diploma or successful completion of an equivalency test (G.E.D. or California High School Proficiency Examination); AND

2. Possession of a valid Driver License; AND

3. Must be at least 18 years old at the time of application; AND

4. One year of satisfactory full time public contact in a work situation (2000 hours) or military experience.

If Trader Joe’s Needs Traffic Cones for Its Parking Lot Off of Masonic, It Simply Steals Them from MUNI

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

Or so it appears:

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Man, Teaching Adults How to Ride Bikes in Golden Gate Park Involves a Lot of Pushing of Bikes – A Lot!

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

I’ll tell you, I’ve taught people how to ride bikes over the years, and I’ll tell you the amount of hours spent teaching all those people how to push bikes, well, that has been exactly zero.

And yet in these courses, as seen in the Panhandle, that seems to be all they do, just pushing bikes around in formation:

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And we can’t have a helmet law in CA because that teaches people that cycling can be dangerous, and yet helmets and safety vests appear to be Job One here.

Just saying….

I’ll tell you man, the people who want to ride bikes in Frisco are already riding bikes in Frisco. They don’t need to be coaxed or cajoled – they’re already doing it, you know, naturally. And if you, and you know who you are, if you think that this is the way to get a five-fold increase in cycling in San Francisco in the remaining five years ’til 2020, well, you’re sadly mistaken.

Is bike riding a religion or just another way to get around town?

You tell me, Babe.

You tell me.