Posts Tagged ‘cannister’

ZOMG, It’s ZOMG From Zazzle, That Crappy T-Shirt Company – Bay to Breakers is Represented by a Classy Lady

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Boy, she just screams San Francisco, huh?

Oh, wait a second, Zazzle is from the Peninsula, right? OK, fine.

Click to expand

 

Showers are in the Forecast for This Sunday’s Bay to Breakers 100 Street Party – Hurray for San Francisco’s Combined Sewers

Monday, May 9th, 2011

Thank’s to San Francisco’s antediluvian combined sewer system, street urine produced at the 100th running of the historic Bay to Breakers Fun Run and Street Party will get to where it belongs thanks to Mother Nature and the grace of Gaia.

Check the forecast:

So, no worries this year. And actually, you’ll be saving some Hetch Hetchy water when you avoid actual bathrooms.

Now, leave us remember sunnier days of years past, when mismanagement of BtoB was committed in the sunshine, for toute le monde to see:

Turkeybot ably captures a fine moment

Remember last year, when Anschutz Entertainment Group (AEG) only put out 44 port-a-potties in the entire Panhandle?  For 100,000 people?

People had to double up and whatnot:

All right, have fun!

There’s No Way You’ll Get Arrested at the Bay to Breakers – C’mon Down, No Registration Required!

Friday, May 6th, 2011

So here’s the question – what would you do if you were at the Bay to Breakers party and a cop tries to take away your beer or make you pour it out? Would you:

1. Grudgingly comply; or

2. Assume a fighting posture not unlike that of that leprechaun from Notre Dame and then start yelling, “Tase me, bro!”

If you answered 1, then you’ve got no worries, Bro-ham.

Click here to learn about the legalities of BtoB and click here to learn about the practicalities (“Why You Should Crash the Bay to Breakers Even Though It’s Sold-Out“) of BtoB.

See you there!

Via shapeshift

Via bmiller1710

What’s New at the Bay to Breakers 100 Party? The Great Fence of the Panhandle! Will It Fence You In?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

Uh oh, this is new for 2011 at the annual Bay to Breakers street party:

Installation of fencing along the portion of the race beside the Panhandle will begin at 12:01am on race day”

What will the fence be made of? Mmmmm….

Will it be an impenetrable paywall such that spectators (and non-spectators) won’t be able to get from the north side of Fell Street to the south side of Fell Street for hours and hours?

Did the residents sign off on this? Don’t think so. Appears as if the Great Fence of the 94117 is the brainchild of the co-sponsoring Western Addition / Inner Sunset NIMBY groups what are partially in charge of the show this year, you know, along with the “owner” of BtoB, that guy that supported anti-gay Proposition 8 even though he doesn’t live in California. Isn’t that funny?

Actually, most of the people who live near the Panhandle aren’t the rich, uptight, old, white, homeowners that the MSM loves to quote all the time.

Typical non-NIMBYs of the Panhandle area having a good time and drinking on a dreaded sunny day. See how non-uptight and non-judgmental they are?

Click to expand

Anyway, let’s hope the new fencing doesn’t kill anybody

David Perry Sells Out to Anti-Gay “Christian Billionaire” Philip Anschutz: Crappy, Official Bay to Breakers Website

Friday, April 29th, 2011

Let’s see, I got to pay off on that headline. All right:

1. David Perry & Associates is sort of famous with members of the national media for being overwhelmed and understaffed during the Olympic Torch run fiasco back in aught-eight, but around town this outfit is known for slapped-together websites and YouTube videos extolling the virtues of whatever local government has on its mind – like cancelling Halloween in one place and promoting it at another, that kind of thing.

2. Anti-gay Christian Billionaire Philip Anschutz is the prime mover behind AEG’s annual Bay to Breakers fun run / party.

3. And here’s the crappy, official website for B2B. (Can’t imagine Sam Singer had anything to do with it, but who knows…)

4. And I don’t think that DPA is doing this for free, so there’s the sell-out.

O.K. then. Let’s see here, let’s note:

1. Unlicensed photography (David, do you think you have a license to use this shot on any of your for-profit websites? You do not.)

2. Crappy green-screen videos (that get watched mostly by people who made or starred in said crappy green-screen videos), a DPA hallmark.

3. And, oh yes, for some reason he’s posted an official seal of the City and County of San Francisco. For some reason. Oddly.

Now, I’m not saying that you couldn’t slap together a similar crappy website in a shorter amount of time, cause it doesn’t matter – even if you underbid DPA by 50%, you’d still lose out ’cause you lack his guanxi (Chinese for corruption/influence, something like that).

Now, the message that DPA’s website means to convey is that “We Are Serious” about the enforcing the rules. So:

“People attempting to enter the race with a float, open-alcohol containers or without pre-paid registration will be removed and subject to criminal prosecution. We’re serious.”

I don’t know about all the “subject to fines and prosecution” they have in there. I mean, I could follow you around and point out how you could be “subject to fines and prosecution” for jaywalking and stuff like that, right? But you’d never get arrested for that kind of thing, right? Not unless you get drunk and start hitting people…

And what’s this?

“….no headphones and no wheeled objects of any type, such as baby joggers, strollers, grocery carts, pets, roller blades, skateboards, or bicycles, are allowed…”

Harsh, man.

And if you just paid $85(!) to have them mail you a numbered bib and then maybe your plans change or maybe you get sick, you’re not supposed to sell it and you can’t get a refund:

“Registration fees are non-refundable, non-transferable…”

That kind of sucks, huh?

Oh well, the A in AEG didn’t get to become “The Christian Billionaire” by playing  Mr. Nice Guy.

Now, I know why gay people would take money from AEG to help put on the BtoB. You know, for the money.

But why would gay people volunteer to work for the Bay to Breakers in light of A’s support of Colorado’s anti-gay Proposition 2 back in the day?

Oh well.

And oh yes, the site has an icon of a man wearing a tutu. Isn’t that kicky! Isn’t that spr srius?

All right, let’s get the party started….

And oh, this year, the SFPD will have “sobering tents” for you. They’ll have water and juice and maybe a free ride home. Bonus!

And oh, here’s what the SFPD is really up to on gameday.

On no, an unpermitted “bandit” on the spr srius “racecourse!” Honey, you are “subject to arrest.” What’s that? Why yes, it is a Harley. Sure you can sit on it. Upsee daisy:

And so on…

…and so on.

All right, let’s get the party started

Increasing “Capture Volume!?” NoPNA NIMBYs of the Western Addition Want “Urination Troughs” for Bay to Breakers 100

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

[Today's posts are sponsored by Exercising While Intoxicated, For All Your Athletic Needs]

Oh, isn’t it cute? The NIMBYs of the Western Addition think that what they do and say actually matters a whit, so look at what they went and done, they imagined that Santa Claus came down from the heavens and asked them, “What do you want for Christmas?”

Or rather, “Imagine you were elected Mayor. What’s your wishlist?” And here is the result.

Check it:

“More port-o-potties are needed but that’s not the only solution. Innovative ways to increase the capture volume is warranted. Innovations like multi-person troughs should be explored.”

O.K. then.

So, if we get enough troughs, then the Bay to Breakers 100 street party will be more the way it should be,* more like this:

Click to expand - via the ImageShack

Rather than this:


Via Turkeybot

Obviously, “the Christian Billionaire” what owns the Bay to Breakers could put more port-a-potties in, but, for some reason, he doesn’t want to. (Do you think he’s afraid of the meddlesome millionaires of the Western Addition? I don’t. But there must be some reason why Philip Anschutz runs “his” civic event this way.)

But if you can’t find a trough, there’s always a friendly neighbor helping out at $5 per:

But don’t count on Rec and Park to help out. Do you think that they’ll shut down the only bathroom in the Panhandle  this year the way they have in the past?

All right, see you there – BE A PART OF HISTORY!

*Do you see all those melon farmers on the sidewalk standing in the back of that photo watching the world go by? Those are your real NoPA neighbors, your genuine Alamo Square orthogonals – do you think the handful of fuddy duddies what elected themselves area “leaders” are in their panic rooms at this point? Probably. Or sitting in the bathtub with a 12-gauge shotgun waiting for the horde to break through the locked door…

The Hot Black Market for Bay To Breakers Party Tickets: Would You Pay $125 for a Runner’s Bib?

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

Be sure to offer “market rate” when trying to buy an entry ticket for Bay to Breakers 2011 at this late date.

See?*

But, actually, you don’t need a bib to get in on the fun.

See?

Click to expand

The party starts in just 20 short days!

See you in the Panhandle!

*You’re not supposed to “transfer” your bib to anybody, per the rules. If it turns out you can’t make it, you’re supposed to just eat the loss? Presumably. Not sure how AEG handles refunds. Probably not well, I’m guessing…

Bay to Breakers Order of Battle: “The Christian Billionaire” + Nine NIMBY Brownshirt Groups vs. the Fun Kids

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Well it looks as if the all the NIMBY homeowner / small-time business groups of the greater Western Addition have embraced Anschutz Entertainment Group (AEG) / anti-gay “Christian Billionaire” (or is it the “Billionaire Christian?”) Philip Anschutz* for the 100th running of the Bay to Breakers party coming up on May 15th, 2011.

That means that some of the NIMBYs will be running around in these brown** shirts just waiting to report violations up the chain of command.

Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?

(“Ask Me,” really? It’ll more like, “Let Me Tell You,” IRL on Game Day.)

What were once called Sturmabteilung are now labeled “Neighborhood Ambassador Volunteers.” Check it:

Help keep our neighborhoods safe, clean and fun for everyone at this year’s Zazzle Bay to Breakers Centennial 12k Run. Neighborhood Ambassador Volunteers will work in either the Panhandle or Alamo Square corridor along the Zazzle Bay to Breakers race route. These volunteers will assist with monitoring conditions at local hot spots and report in unsafe conditions. Welcome participants to their neighborhood, and give instruction on the location of restrooms, trash receptacles, EMS services, general event information, and provide the event hotline number to neighbors and participants. Communicate with local merchants and neighbors on race conditions. Periodically report to central command on race conditions in their area. Assist with clean-up efforts. Document during-race activities for after race debrief. Volunteers in these positions will work a 2-hour shift and receive a Zazzle Bay to Breakers Volunteer T-Shirt.”

Good times.

Oh, here we go, direct from Party Central:

“Mission: The Neighborhood Task Force on the 100th Bay to Breakers mission is to to protect our neighbors from unsafe conditions, bring all race stakeholders together, champion positive and creative solutions to challenging problems, ensure that responsible parties are held accountable and to strive to make the 100th Bay to Breakers to “Fun for Everyone.”

Ooh a “Task Force,” just like TF16 and TF17 what sunk four Japanese carriers at Midway. How…para-military! Now I’ll ask, has any wealthy, white, wizened homeowner of the Western Addition come to harm from any of the 99 prior Bays to Breakers? Not to my knowledge. Mmmmm. Also, “Fun for Everyone” = no fun for anyone, just saying.

“Reason: Since 2007, the Bay to Breakers has become more and more dangerous. Neighbors are being bullied, public and private property is being defaced and it’s only a manner of time before someone gets seriously hurt or killed. Proactive steps need to be taken now to manage what has turned into a San Francisco “Mardi Gras.”

Hysterical NIMBYism, that’s what this is. (Here’s a bit more on Mardi Gras.)

“Focus Areas & Suggestions: Enforcement: Be Seen & Heard – Law enforcement must be proactive and properly resourced to handle the event.”

Uh, nine NIMBY groups are going to tell the SFPD what to do? Really?

“This effort must also be augmented by trained volunteers that can “Observe and Report” activities for police attention.”

Oh, so that’s why the Zazzle shirts are brown!

“Command and control must be “on the ground” and have authority to marshal resources to hotspots.”

Whoa! (Nana’s been watching too much History Channel, it would seem.)

“If you break the law, there will be repercussions.

Well natch, of course.

 Participants: Practice the Platinum Rule – All participants should “Respect the Neighborhoods” and treat other like they want to be treated.”

Oh I see now, this has nothing to do with safety, in reality. Appears as if some people want to enforce their religion, their values on others.

“It’s fine to have a good time as long as it does not impact the good times of others. Participants should also pay their fair share and either donate to clean-up efforts or have the ability to sign-up, at a reduced fee, to show their support.”

So those people paying $60 plus whatever to MUNI aren’t paying their fair share? Really?

“ Health: Public Urination and DefecationPublic urination is a public nuisance and public defecation is major health issue.

Of course, a “major health issue,” heads and shoulders above cancer and heart disease and whatnot. Thanks for putting it all in ‘sperpective!

“More port-o-potties are needed but that’s not the only solution. Innovative ways to increase the capture volume is warranted. Innovations like multi-person troughs should be explored.

Nana, don’t go there! Whatever you do, don’t go there.

“Facilities also need to be placed off course. A major factor in public urination is the consumption of alcohol. A ban is necessary but not sufficient to control this.

So what, martial law?

“Environmental Impact: Tread Lightly – The amount of trash generated during Bay to Breakers is appalling.

And of course, the amount of trash generated by the NIMBYs of the Western Addition every day, well that must be the opposite of appalling, whatever that term is.

“More receptacles must be provided for both trash and recyclables. Pick up ofreceptacles should be done often during the race. San Francisco is a green city and we need to do better. Race materials should be collapsible and compostable and everyone should be encouraged reduce their waste production. Outreach: Early and Often -The message should be clear and simple. Sign up, run the race and have a good time. Respect the neighborhoods and treat others like they want to betreated (The Platinum Rule).

Hallelujah! Sing it, sister!

“If you break the law, you will be fined. Simple, straightforward and no ambiguity.

Uh, hey rich, white, wealthy, aging, home-owning NIMBY, the county you picked to buy real estate, you know, out of about 3000 to choose from nationwide, is actually just the opposite. In fact it’s at the top of the list of just the opposite. Breaking the law in the City and County of San Francisco does not guarantee a fine, right?

“Logistics: Always Wins the War – Coordination of all resources must be under a central command that has the authority to deploy resources where required. Decisions on how to deal with issues should be based on boots on the ground judgment. This logistical effort needs to have neighborhood input for the most effective way to manage and deploy resources for the event. Recruiting local Motorcycle clubs, church’s, neighbors and charities must be done to assist in observing and reporting issues to race and city officials.

Wow, man, just wow.

“Leveraging the NERT command, control and communications infrastructure is another way to ensure coordination.

So this is what the NERT does, huh? (I’ll note this one for later…)

“Summary:The nine neighborhood groups represented by the Neighborhood Task Force on the 100th Bay to Breakers feel strongly that all stakeholders need to start now to plan for the 100th. The coordinated efforts of all stakeholders coupled with innovative ways to manage this uniquely San Francisco event can make the 100th Bay to Breakers safe and fun for everyone. Without such efforts, we fear that the Bay to Breakers will go the way of Halloween in the Casto – something none of us wants.

Uh, you think a kid from the projects is going to come to BtoB and shoot nine people over some kind of respect issue? Well, that’s not impossible, I’ll give you that.

“Represented Neighborhoods: North Panhandle Neighborhood Association (NOPNA), Hayes Valley NeighborhoodAssociation (HVNA), Divisadero Merchants Association (DMA), Alamo SquareNeighborhood Association (ASNA), Lower Haight Merchants and NeighborhoodAssociation (LoHaMNA) , Haight Asbury Improvement Association (HAIA), Buena VistaNeighborhood Association (BVNA), Cole Valley Improvement Association (CVIA) and Inner Sunset Park Neighbors (ISPN). Contact:If you want to get involved with making the 100thBay to Breakers “Fun for Everyone,”send an email to b2b@nopna.org or join us on Facebook by searching for Bay toBreakers – Fun for Everyone”

Wow, that’s a lot of NIMBYs.

Hey NIMBYs! I think you all confused Hayes Street with your living room, you see, because one you have no control over and the other you do. See how that works, NIMBY?

Anyway, I’ll tell you, area NIMBYs are bracing for battle, I’ll tell you. And they’re so much involved now with the planning, they’re so much in bed with Phil Anschutz and company, that they’re now responsible for this event as much as AEG, AFAIAC.

Oh well. And oh yes, elements of the 21st century’s Ladies Temperance Union want licka stos to simply not open for the entire morning. Check it:

“We ask merchants to limit the sale of alcohol until after noon, communicate to your local neighborhood group if you will be open or not, provide additional security, if needed, encourage patrons to respect the neighborhood, and donate funds to help clean up.”

I swear, these NIMBY mofos are richer than Croesus and Mammon, generally speaking, but all these homeowners talk about is money, money, money.

Anyway, on it goes.

Ever more deets, after the jump

*”Often identified as “Christian billionaire Phil Anschutz”, he is a Republican donor who supported George W. Bush‘s administration. He has been an active patron of a number of religious and conservative causes:

**More tan than brown, really. As it was back in the day: “Brown-coloured shirts were chosen as the SA uniform because a large batch of them were cheaply available after World War I, having originally been ordered during the war for colonial troops posted to Germany’s former African colonies.”

(more…)

Oh Bay to Breakers – You So Crazy, Your New Costume Contest is, I Don’t Know, So Zany!

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

I don’t know, I’m not sure how to react to the new attitude coming from the Bay to Breakers Civic event.

I’m used to hearing and reading edicts direct from that gay-hating Colorado billionaire who calls the shots at B2B but I haven’t heard as much of the vitriol lately.

Actually, I kind of feel sorry for them now. Not so sorry that I won’t mess with their logo…

…but I’m just so used to hearing about the latest crackdown on this and this and this and this and zero tolerance and you’ll be arrested and whathaveyou.

Anyway, they have a zany, wild costume contest planned, or something.

I still have hope for riot-geared cops and hired thugs enforcing the rules but, well, I don’t know, now.

Anyway, let’s play it straight, for now. All the deets:

LOCATION

Zazzle Footstock
Speedway Meadow, Golden Gate Park

JUDGING SCHEDULE

May 15, 2011
9:30am – 11:30am

ELIGIBILITY

Must be registered for the 2011 Zazzle Bay to Breakers and have your race bib with you in order to enter the contest.

CATEGORIES AND PRIZES

THE BE-ZAZZLED COSTUME

This award is all about creativity! The best Be-Zazzled Costume will be incredibly unique, custom, and AMAZING TO BEHOLD. Infinity bonus points for including the Zazzle logo in your costume

1st Place Prize: $1,000 Zazzle shopping spree

COSTUME OF THE CENTURY

Because Bay to Breakers is turning one hundred this year, we want to see costumes that best represent the races of the past and the future. Create costumes from past or future eras to compete in this category. Bonus points for referencing historical Bay Area events.

1st Place Prize: 2 registrations for the 2012 Zazzle Bay to Breakers + $100

THE iCOSTUME

We live in a technology world, so why not have a technology costume? To compete in the iCostume category, make a costume that references techie topics like Silicon Valley, internet memes, tech companies, mobile devices, laptops, and so much more! Negative points for dressing as Zuckerberg – that’s just lazy.

1st Place Prize: Apple iPad 2

BEST GROUP

There’s no “i” in Bay to Breakers – show off your group think with an amazing group costume! Get a group of three or more together and compete with a creative costume for this category. Centipedes are especially welcome.

1st Place Prize: 1 ticket per group member for a Giants Home Game

BEST MUSICAL THEME

Show us a talent? SING us a song? All while wearing a costume? Win this category with an awesome performance and a musical costume that’s even cooler.

1st Place Prize: 2 tickets to the 2012 Grammy Awards

OUR FABULOUS JUDGES

Who’s going to decide the winners? The costume contest judges are a mix of local celebrities and Zazzle celebrity. Read more about the judges below to get a sense of how to tailor your costume(s) for the best shot at gaming the system and winning it all.

Chris Brecher – KGO Afternoon News Co-Anchor
Chris was born and raised in Harrisburg, PA where she says, “I was a good girl until high school where I was criticized for being “flippant.” Now, I’m paid to do that!” Chris loves to spend time museum hopping (she’ll have a keen eye for the Costume of the Century), traveling, and spending time with her family.

Michael Karns – Director of Public Relations
Mike grew up in LA but fell in love with the Bay Area after attending Stanford University. At Zazzle he splits his time between working with the public relations team and judging impromptu afternoon dance competitions at the office. When Mike is not at work he enjoys hiking, water sports, and running his hands through his hair.

Kimberlee Sakamoto – KRON 4 Internet reporter
As an Internet Reporter Kimberlee Sakamoto covers everything happening online (hint: She will be watching the iCostume category very closely), from the latest trends to the must see new websites or videos. Kimberlee graduated from SF State where she was a founder of the ultimate frisbee team. Outside of work you’ll find Kimberlee baking, reading, at a ballet class or rocking out at a concert.

More information about Zazzle Footstock is HERE.

Hey Kids! Volunteer to Sell Sell Sell the 2011 Bay to Breakers – Your Commish Will Be Zero Percent!

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

You know what it takes to sell, sell, sell the 2011 Bay to Breakers Civic Event? Well, just ask Alec Baldwin.

And after that, send in your application, why not. Then you’ll be able to spend hundreds of hours “presenting sales opportunities” and “supporting the sales staff” with “sales efforts.” It’s going to be sell, sell, sell!

And best of all, you won’t get Jack. Thanks, AEG!

And if you don’t like it, leave. Now, here’s what it takes to sell the Bay to Breakers – it takes brass balls:

Click to expand

Of course the gig’s in Los Angeles, ’cause, you know, not many people behind the oldest something-or-other that is BtoB actually live in the 415. They don’t mind visiting occasionally, but, overall, S.F. is just a skosh too faggy for them. Oh well.

Remember, sell! Just think of your zero commission.

“Address: 714 W Olympic Blvd Ste 301

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Application Deadline: No Deadline
Position: Part-Time, Unpaid
Timeframe: 01/10/11 – ?
Description:
The AEG Sales & Marketing Department is seeking an energetic and hardworking individual to join our team! This internship will focus around the longest continuously run footrace in America – the Bay to Breakers 12K in San Francisco (***.*************.***). The internship will provide qualified college students the opportunity to gain access and insight into the highly competitive world of professional sports. Our goal is to allow each intern with the opportunity to provide their input through their creativity and resources. Qualified individuals must be current college students and receive college credit for this internship since this is an unpaid position. Flexible hours to correspond with their school schedule.

Responsibilities:
Job Responsibilities

Assist the Sales & Marketing Department’s programs and initiatives
- Support sales staff on sales efforts
- Operational support on Festival and VIP Experiences
- Implement execution of grassroots campaign within the running community
- Present sales opportunities to running clubs and organized groups within the targeted demographics.
- Engage on collegiate campuses to create awareness of AEG events.
- Collect, organize and import new customer and prospect leads into database
- Weekly Reports and updates
- Use the Internet to research industry trends and opportunities

Requirements:
- Currently enrolled in an accredited college or university
- Able to receive school credit
- Detail oriented with strong follow-up skills
- Proficiency in the following Microsoft Office programs: Word, Excel, Power Point & Outlook
- Candidates must possess excellent oral and written communication skills
- Ability to work 20 hours a week