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Here it is:
Go ahead, take a look.
Larry Ellison, the Neve’s latest bromance crush:
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“Although the turnout… were disappointing, that won’t be the case with the finals when they arrive here in 2013.”
Uh, do you need a copy editor, Neve? (I know of about seven who is on the market as of yesterday, AAMOF.) Anyway, Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, Nevius, how the frack do you know how the frack the gosh darn AC13 is going to turn out? Do you have a crystal ball? Or maybe you want to give readers the impression that everything’s going to work out? Why?
“At least that’s the expectation. This is supposed to be the America’s Cup that changes everything, from the venue, to the TV coverage, to the tactics of sailing. Barclay says these races will turn conventional wisdom on its head.”
Uh, promoters lie. That’s what promoters do, right? What just happened down in Fun Diego was a fucking disaster and people said, “Heads will roll.” And you know what, they were right. At least one head rolled, anyway, on Thanksgiving Eve 2011. Wasn’t he the CEO ‘n stuff? Do you know about that, Neve? No need to mention that though, is there, huh?
“Usually the fastest boat wins,” he said. “But this will be different because of the bay. The space is so confined and the boats are so fast (the 72-footers may reach 50 mph) there will be a lot of maneuvering. And multihull boats do not maneuver well. That means this will be a lot about sailing.”
Gee, you know, don’t you think that if Americans wanted to watch sailing a lot, then we’d already be doing it? What’s so great about sailing? Obviously, people don’t care to watch sailing so why should they? How will doing that improve their lives? And, uh, there’s no way these boats will go 50 MPH. Remember earlier about the lying, Neve? And isn’t it sort of ridiculous to host the America’s Cup in San Francisco Bay? Whose idea is this?
For those of us who do not have a clew (a nautical joke; a clew is the bottom corner of a sail), television will be the key. There are cameras on the boats, digital lines to mark the path, and real-time clocks to show how many seconds a boat is ahead or behind.
Oh, I get it, “clew!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nevius, you so cray-cray! Hey, why don’t we put cameras on on WNBA players? And digital lines, ooh, how exciting! (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.) And a “real time” clock too! (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.) And a scoreboard what tells how far ahead one team is. (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.) But, oh, nobody wants to watch the WNBA. In that sense, it’s just like sailing. Take a look. They even have the pitchpoling incident that was staged on the bay just for you and the cameras to see, Neve. You realize that that was fake, right Neve? You know, so they could use that scene for their video opening over and over again? Even NASCAR doesn’t stage accidents.
But what you really need to do is see the boats up close. Even with the secrecy surrounding the teams, Barclay said they plan to host a few open houses for the public.
The secrecy is fake, nobody cares. But, oh, they’re going to have open houses? Again, the secrecy is fake, nobody cares. Oh, but you care, Neve? All right. Tell us again, Neve, tell us about your supr sekrt visit to the supr sekrt boat place!
You’ll be able to see what he calls “the little boats,” the 45-footers that raced in San Diego, the “shed” where the 72-footer is being built, and the mammoth 223-foot wing that powered the Oracle trimaran that won the 33rd America’s Cup in Spain. And yes, it is really true that when that wing is fitted to the boat, it reaches up too high to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge.
Think, Neve. You’re talking about a catamaran here. They could put that baby on one hull and slide right under the GGB no problem, why not? Anyway, nobody knows and nobody cares where freaking Larry Ellison last bought his America’s Cup trophy.
It will, all in all, be a mighty and impressive spectacle right here in our bay.
So, that’s your point but you haven’t supported it. In your world, Neve, San Diego was a failure, ergo San Francisco won’t be. Because, because why? Gavin Newsom did a crappy job representing the interests of San Francisco and then, surprise, he’s made honorary poohbah of the whole thing and you think that’s the greatest idea in the world.
Today the Cup preparations are racing downwind, hell-bent for glory. Let’s hope no submerged obstacles pop up.
Why should anybody care, Nevius?
“S.F. Zoo gets Martha the tiger to replace Tiger Shot after attacked by 3 Men Christmas 3 years ago”
Uh, en realidad, we don’t actually know that “3 Men” “attacked” that tiger, do we? Hey, what about the minor who died? He was less than 18, right? Oh, and you’re saying he attacked the tiger along with brothers Dhaliwal, you know that for a fact that all three of them did that, huh? You and the zoo have videotape you’ve been sitting on all these years, maybe…
Is this kind of thing what pays your mortgage, Sam?
A post-Tatiana big cat enclosure at the, frankly, poorly-run, San Francisco Zoo:
And the shrine that got set up at the entrance of the zoo, back in the day:
Macy’s Holiday Windows will fire up once again in Union Square come November 19th, 2010.
Volunteer, won’t you?
“The SF SPCA is also seeking volunteers to interact with jolly holiday shoppers and the many visitors to the Windows. Volunteers representing the SF SPCA answer questions about the animals and collect donations in front of the Windows on Stockton and O’Farrell streets. Those interested in volunteering are encouraged to sign up online at www.sfspca.org/support/volunteer.”
And the old-school displays are based upon the Yes, Virginia animated movie? Apparently.
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All the deets:
The San Francisco SPCA and Macy’s Team Up for 24th Annual Macy’s Holiday Windows Pet Adoption Campaign
The San Francisco SPCA and Macy’s Unveil Adoptable Pets on Nov. 19 at 5 p.m. in Annual Union Square Event to Help Homeless Cats and Dogs Find Loving New Homes
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif., Nov. 11, 2010 – The San Francisco SPCA is teaming up with Macy’s for the 24th annual Macy’s Holiday Windows featuring adoptable animals from the SF SPCA. The Windows will be unveiled on Friday, Nov. 19, 2010 and last through Sunday, Jan. 2, 2011. Shoppers and pet-lovers alike are encouraged to visit and adopt some of San Francisco’s cutest cats and dogs from the Windows located at Stockton and O’Farrell streets in Union Square. The SF SPCA has a goal of 320 adoptions by Jan. 2, 2011.
KNTV’s (NBC, Bay Area) Emmy Award winning meteorologist Craig Herrera joins the festivities again this year and will host the unveiling ceremony at 5 p.m. on Nov. 19 with students from San Francisco’s De Marillac Academy.
“The Macy’s Holiday Windows featuring adoptable animals from the SF SPCA has become synonymous with the holidays among San Franciscans and has been an enormous boon to our efforts to bring comfort to the many adorable animals we care for through donations and adoptions,” said Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, SF SPCA interim co-president. “Through this wonderful partnership with Macy’s, I hope we inspire visitors to open their hearts and their homes to these precious cats and dogs.”
Ever more deets, after the jump
[UPDATE: Oh yes, the birds, too - I forgot about them.]
Get up to speed right here on tonight’s surprise fireworks show in the Music Concourse for the benefit of the San Francisco Giants and Major League Baseball.
Per the SFGiants:
“If you’re in The City and you hear fireworks in a minute, don’t be alarmed, it’s just the #SFGiants private World Series Gala at GG Park.”
But, uh oh:
“Seeing complaints from people in SF about the Tuesday night Fireworks. Giants better win the World Series for the city after this one!”
“Oh apparently it’s some fireworks show for the Giants over GG park? Effing stupid. I’ve never seen a city so obsessed with a sports team.”*
Here’s the video.
Can you hear the chants of, “Let’s go, Giants?”
And here’s the view from Fell Street:
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And here’s the mise en scene with Sutro Tower in the background.
This show was scheduled to end at 10:25 PM but concern over area NIMBYs pushed things up a half-hour or so.