Posts Tagged ‘chp’

Don’t Ever Change, Oakland! – Three CHP Vehicles Required to Get This Shirtless Cyclist Off of the MacArthur Maze Interchange

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

Only in Oakland (OIO):

CHP Oakland:Not something you see everyday… It took three CHP vehicles to safely stop traffic and get this bicyclist out of the center divider on I-80 near the MacArthur maze today. If you see something suspicious call 911 and be sure to give us a location , direction of travel and information on what you see! It may just save a life!”

There are at Least Two Things Wrong with This “Member CHP 11-99 Foundation” License Plate and Holder

Tuesday, March 4th, 2014

1. A while back there was a perception, at the very least, of the California Highway Patrol involving itself with corruption when luxury car owners boasted of getting out of speeding tickets owing them being members of the 11-99 Foundation. So reforms were promised, but there still are a lot of those official 11-99 foundation license plate holders out there, oh well. Anyway, it was “wrong” for the CHP to allow this foundation any color of authoritah for any length of time

2. The owner of this car doesn’t even have an official license plate holder, oh no. All we have here is a home-made LP holder along with a personalized license plate. Anybody could do this without paying thousands of dollars to any foundation. So this looks a bit wrong as well.

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Or maybe the original license plate holder was stolen for quick resale on eBay, IDK.

Regardless, this whole enchilada was/is wrong

The Best Out-Of-State License Plate Ever: Hand-Made Using Cardboard and a Sharpie

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

The only thing better would be “Oregon” in there instead of “Washington”

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Now I’m no narc. But if you are:

Report Vehicles with Out-of-State License Plates to the CHP

CHEATERS Program logo
Did you know that the State of California loses millions of dollars a year in revenue from California residents who unlawfully register their vehicles in other states or countries?

Did you know that vehicle registration fees are due immediately upon accepting employment or establishing residency in the State of California?

Did you know that California law permits only 20 days to complete the process of registering your vehicle without paying a penalty?

The three most common reasons for not completing the registration process are:

  1. People are unaware of California registration laws.
  2. People are evading payments of registration fees and taxes.
  3. People are unable to comply with air pollution control laws.

Include the following information:

  • State or province in which vehicle is registered. Mexican plates cannot be investigated without a physical address where the vehicle’s owner resides.
  • Vehicle license number
  • Date and time the vehicle was observed
  • Make, model and color of the vehicle
  • Location where the vehicle was observed (street(s) and city)
  • Any additional comments and descriptive information

Phoning 911 in the 415: Why Do Some Calls Go to the CHP and Others to the Department of Emergency Management Services?

Friday, November 29th, 2013

Per the SFPD Richmond Station:

If you are on surface streets in San Francisco and dial 911, your call will be answered by the San Francisco Department of Emergency Management Services. Once the San Francisco Department of Emergency Management Services determines what emergency services are needed, they will then route your 911 call to the San Francisco Police Department or the San Francisco Fire Department, including ambulance service.

If you are on or near a freeway in San Francisco and dial 911, your call will be answered by either by the San Francisco Department of Emergency Management Services or the California Highway Patrol Dispatch Center. Regardless, your 911 call will be routed to the proper emergency agency, the San Francisco Police Department, the California Highway Patrol, or the San Francisco Fire Department, including ambulance service.”

I’ve always wondered about this.

THE MORE YOU KNOW…

CHP “Sting Operation” Nabs Helpless Cabbie on Octavia

Wednesday, October 9th, 2013

See?

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For some reason, when the SFPD Motor Patrol hands out tickets and/or admonishments to cyclists who blow through the crosswalks of The Wiggle bike route without breaking cadence (they call this an “Idaho Stop,” even though it’s not), that kind of enforcement action invariably gets called a “sting” operation.

But a sting must involve some form of deception, right? And the cops just stand there waiting for cyclists to blow through a stop sign.

So, what gets called a sting aint a sting.

As here with the cabbie. He was speeding, more than most, one assumes, and then he got a ticket.

No sting involved.

Just saying…

Know Your Betters: Area Man Becomes Supraman Simply by Piloting a Tesla Model S Electric Car

Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

You just don’t know how special you are ’til you own and operate a Tesla Model S.

Why, you’re so special that, in some states, you didn’t even have to pay sales tax to get your new ride. And here in California, your wundercar can go all of its 200-something mile range on the freeway in the carpool / HOV lane even though you’re sitting in your car all by your lonesome!

Now check out Dude here on Masonic. He’s got his official CA HOV stickers on all four corners. Plus, he’s also got a license to jibber jabber on his handheld cell phone while driving. I mean, he must – just look at him: 

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I didn’t check to see if he has special CHP 11-99 Foundation license plate holders (like this fellow Tesla God), but that would mean that Dude has a license to speed as well.

Oh but Dude, don’t speed too much else the maximum range on your $100,000 car will go down to 100-something miles and then you’ll have to get towed, like this:

(Funny story – in the mind of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, the driver of this car drove it in circles specifically to make it run so low on juice that it wouldn’t go no mo. That wasn’t true but oh well. And this Model S wouldn’t even allow its needlessly-complicated doors to open for the tow-truck monkey, that child of a Lesser God, so it could be, you know, put into neutral so, you know, it could get towed. Oh, and here’s another funny one. How many kids should you have with 30-something Elon Musk before he trades you in for a newer, sexier model-type model? Five[!] Five kids, srsly. And then the former Mrs. Elon Musk is like, “At least she’s not a blonde.”)

Anywho, the question of the day is why you’d even want such a long, low, and wide big-on-the-outside-yet-small-on-the-inside vehicle such as a Model S? It’s like an electrified Porsche Panamera four-door, right? And compared to my full-sized. eight-passenger motherfucking Land Cruiser, the Model S is longer[!] and wider[!] (How can that be?) And I’ll tell you, my ride, which isn’t exactly known for high MPG, no not at all, has a real-life range of 400-something miles on the freeway.

Oh, what’s that, your Model S is shiny and it has a lot of chrome and it makes you feel special? Well, then carry on with your super important phone call, by all means.

You have become a Supraman.

Congrats.

As far back as Yossarian could recall, he explained to Clevinger with a patient smile, somebody was always hatching a plot to kill him. There were people who cared for him and people who didn’t, and those who hated him were out to get him. They hated him because he was Assyrian. But they couldn’t touch him, he told Clevinger, because he had a sound mind in a pure body and was as strong as an ox. They couldn’t touch him because he was Tarzan, Mandrake, Flash Gordon. He was Bill Shakespeare. He was Cain, Ulysses, the Flying Dutchman; he was Lot in Sodom, Deirdre of the Sorrows, Sweeney in the nightingales among trees. He was miracle ingredient Z-247. He was…
Crazy!” Clevinger interrupted, shrieking. “That’s what you are! Crazy!”
“…immense. I’m a real slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I’m a bona fide Supraman.”
“Superman?” Clevinger cried. “Superman?”
Supraman,” Yossarian corrected.”

Yossarian is transcendent man. He is rising above the living dead all around him to find a way to live. He is basically alone in his quest. A real hero.”

I am, I am Supraman, and I can do anything.”

Does Our CHP Have a “Bicycle Officer School?” Yes, Here It Is – Soon to be Patrolling the Eastern Span of the Bay Bridge

Wednesday, June 12th, 2013

Whenever it opens, which will be about a quarter-century late.

Check it:

@CHPoakland officers preparing for Bicycle Officer School and will soon be patrolling the new Bay Bridge! pic.twitter.com/KJ6lk8EqOp

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Here’s Why Mercedes Drivers Use the Bus Lane on Montgomery in the Financh – High Reward, Low Risk

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

Let’s take a look up Bush Street from Sansome to see what it’s like during the evening drive.

It can start pretty early – look at the shadows:

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It’s not gridlock, but it’s very slow. Drivers make it one or two car lengths per light cycle.

Starting on Bush to get to 1st Street to get to the coveted Bay Bridge on-ramp can take more than a half-hour.

Now what some people in this situation do is say this is ridiculous and then find another way to the bridge. They substitute

Others just stew in their rides – some of these people enjoy honking, you know, as an outlet.

And there’s yet another option.

You can just use the little-used left turn lane after Montgomery and then, and this is key, go straight through the intersection at Sansome to use the BUS TAXI ONLY lane to pass all those su

Thusly:

Now it seems that drivers would get ticketed for this maneuver, but I’ve never seen it happen.

(Cops hate traffic more than you do, so they never hang out here. Come to think of it, I don’t see too many buses or taxis using this special lane either. And I don’t think any forward-facing cameras on any SFMTA vehicle can get you neither)

Of course, then you gotta make it another four arduous blocks to the bridge, oh well.

But otherwise, this is the perfect crime.

Shhhhhh…

Three Things You Don’t Know About the Bay to Breakers

Monday, May 20th, 2013

1.  THE TOP OF HAYES STREET HILL _ISN’T_ THE HIGHEST POINT OF THE BTOB FUN-RUN. JUST CHECK THE ROUTE PROFILE:

“Here’s your route profile, starting from the SoMA near the bay going all the way to the breakers of Ocean Beach. See that big incline just before mile marker three? That’s the vaunted Hayes Street Hill. (And actually, the highest part of Hayes Street on this part of the course is near Pierce, not “at Fillmore and Steiner“ and not ”between Fillmore and Sutter.”)

And actually, that part of Hayes peaks at around 260 feet, not 215:

Now, here’s your winner. It’s the 270-something foot high saddle on JFK Jr. Drive betwixt Prayer Book Cross and Stow Lake / Strawberry Hill, where ”Kennedy” is written:

2. THE BTOB FUN-RUN IS A 12K, AND YET IT’S NOT A 12K – THE CLAIMED “WORLD RECORDS” ARE NOT, IN FACT, WORLD RECORDS

“Race organizers and media have reported that the course records set by Sammy Kitwara in 2009 and Lineth Chepkurui in 2010 are also world records at the 12 km distance;[31] however, the International Association of Athletics Federations, the international governing body for the sport of athletics/track and field, does not recognize world records or world bests in either an indoor or outdoor 12 km.[32] The Association of Road Racing Statisticians, a non-regulatory group that collects road running data, does recognize world records in the outdoor 12 km provided that the race course meets certain criteria.[33][34] In order to rule-out the possibility of wind assistancein point-to-point courses, the ARRS stipulates that the course must have “not more than 30% of the race distance separation between that start and finish”, or 3.6 km for a 12 km race.[34] Given that the Bay to Breakers is run on a point-to-point course in which the start and finish of the event are approximately 10.5 linear kilometers apart, the ARRS recognizes two other marks as 12 km world records: Kenyan Simon Kigen‘s 33:46 in Portland, Oregon on May 19, 1985 and Chepkurui’s 38:10 at the 2010Lilac Bloomsday Run.[33][nb 2]

3. MOST PEOPLE _DON’T_ PAY THE ABSURDLY HIGH REGISTRATION FEE. MOST PEOPLE YOU SEE ARE “BANDITS”

HERE’S THE OFFICIAL ESTIMATE: “…more than in the hundreds but less than tens of thousands.” THE REAL NUMBER IS TENS OF THOUSANDS.

“The Bay to Breakers is known for the large number of unregistered runners, or “bandits”, who participate in the race. Ross Mirkarimi, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, reported that over half of the 60,000 participants in the 2010 Bay to Breakers were unregistered.[19] San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom was among the runners in 2010 who did not pay the registration fee to obtain a race number.[19][22] Registered participation was 24,430 in 2010,[23] 43,954 in 2011,[24] 23,072 for 2012,[25], and approximately 20,000 for 2013.[26]

Beware, Car Owners: The Great B2B Tow of ’13 is a Coming This Weekend – Hundreds Will Get Towed by SFGov – Will You?

Friday, May 17th, 2013

I’ll tell you, I’m not exactly sure when the tow away signs went up for this year’s historic Bay to Breakers street party – maybe it was today.

No matter, hundreds of cars are going to get towed this Saturday and Sunday.

It’s going to be epic.

Here are the streets to not park your car upon.

Sometimes they give you a week’s notice, but not this year I don’t think.

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Let’s review.

Before we can have this…

…or this…

From hard-working Steve Nguyen

…we’re going to have to have this:

(I remember it as if it were just two years ago…)

“The Great Tow of 2011:

One car gets away  in the nick of time, but three others aren’t so lucky:

Ted and Al’s had like ten yellow tow trucks ready to go late Saturday night, in the driving rain. (Note how Bank of America is protecting its windows – the IndyBay crowd got to them, smashy smashy, about a year or so back, unrelated to Bay to Breakers.)

Now, speaking of prêt-à-porters, this is the main body, this is the largest array for the Golden Gate Park Panhandle:

And here’s the second-biggest grouping, along Masonic:

And there are some on the other side of Fell, typically in groups of six on some of the blocks.

But that’s it.

Not sure where B2B is hiding their 1000+ portable toilets claimed for 2011, at this point, just hours before the Kenyans take off on their winning runs.

Oh well.

And there’s no sign of the fencing neither, except for what they have every year.

We’ll see.

The Great Fence of B2B100 is supposed to have upon it either images of Christ hand-selected by P. Anschutz or photos of people who ran the race before white NIMBYs moved into the Western Addition. (You’ll have to tell me about it…). Anyway, here’s the baby fencing they have on scene already along with, and isn’t this cute, a message from San Francisco Natives for a Fun and Buzzed Bay to Breakers. Apparently, the cops can’t arrest for an open container in San Francisco…

And doesn’t this just break your heart – this Vespa scooter has been forgotten on the slopes of the famed Hayes Street Hill, the second highest point on the “racecourse.” Will Auto-Return charge $700 for its return?

Remember, Transit First.

All right, have a great Bay to Breakers 100!