Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

Here’s How Larry Ellison Runs His Hawaiian Airline: $4000 Bonuses Paid to Pilots at “Island Air” Being Recalled

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

Why would you give people a bonus right before the holidays and then take it back right before the holidays?

And then you plan on giving the money back* again next year, maybe?

What a mess!

Hey, here’s a solution for LE.

Why not just sell your POS Toyota LFA and then use the proceeds to fund the bonuses?

Oh, here it is, parked on Van Ness in front of the House of Prime Rib:

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That would cover it.

(Now, here’s the thing about the LFA. The suits at Toyota felt the program was taking waaaay too long, which it was, so they said, “Forget about the tranny, just finish that car!” So they slapped in a slushbox** and called it a day. That “awful” transmission totally doesn’t match the rest of the car. Oh well! But don’t take my word for it… ["One big giant squirrel." "Awful transmission."]

Anyway, this is the kind of thing what makes up your Legacy, Larry.

Don’t you care about your Legacy, Larry?

Or, if not, do you care about unnecessarily pissing off all your pilots? 

*These bonuses weren’t exactly Christmas Bonuses, they were WE’RE FINALLY GETTING NEW AIRPLANES Bonuses. So I guess the Island Air people weren’t happy with the Airbussy prop planes they bought, so now they want to switch over to the Canadian competition? And then there was some kind of bonus for the pilots connected to that. Which planes would be best? Well, you just don’t know. You’ll never know, actually. Perhaps Island Air just doesn’t make sense as a bidness? I’ll tell you, back in the 1990′s people’d be trying to start up inter-island airlines just for the PR value, just to have fun. The idea would be to lose money on the airline (ooh look, we have all-jet aircraft!) to build up goodwill to use for another purpose. It didn’t work out..)

**Look at all those words in Wikipedia about the chassis and engine and then there’s just one line about the awful transmission…

The Time to Buy Tickets for San Francisco Ballet’s Family Performances of The Nutcracker is Now – Best for Ages 5-11

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

Here are all the deets from our San Francisco Ballet about five special Family Performances of The Nutcracker

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Family Performance 2012 (© Carson Lancaster)

“For five performances only, the first 500 children (under the age of 12) to arrive receive a special gift and everyone enjoys complimentary beverages and treats at intermission. For 30 minutes only, starting one hour prior to curtain, Nutcracker characters are available for photos, so arrive early and bring your camera!*

Family Performance Dates

*Family Performances are popular! Lines for entrance to the Opera House and for photos form quickly, so arrive early. Children’s gifts are handed out at the doors on a first come/first served basis, starting one hour prior to curtain. So that our dancers aren’t late for the performance, photo lines must be stopped 30 minutes prior to curtain.”

See you there!

Area Man is Celebrating Christmas Already, by Riding His Reindeer Bicycle All Over Town

Tuesday, November 18th, 2014

Seems like I spot the reindeer bikes earlier and earlier each year…

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Christmas Tableau, Costco, Summer 2014

Tuesday, September 16th, 2014

Stay Frosty!

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The Elusive Christmas Tree Light Cars from the 1950′s – This Ride is My White Whale

Thursday, December 26th, 2013

Maybe it was a ghost car.

The best shot I could get, on Christmas Eve 2013:

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The Google Shopping Express Car, Complete with Antlers – Add It to the List of Google Vehicles

Monday, December 23rd, 2013

This is a Google Shopping Express car, complete with antlers, seen in the 94117 during Christmastime 2013

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Now enjoy a trip down memory lane:

Well, here it is, the current generation Google Maps Car. (A Subaru, judging by the Pleiades icon on the nose – for some reason, Google stripped the badges from the rear of these cars.) Are there cameras and SICK laser range finders and WiFi detectors and whatnot on top of this Subie? Who knows…

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And here’s what these rides looked like before they got wrapped:

And this was the first generation Map Car, seen getting busted by the Federal popo in the Presidio.

(I’ve heard from four people who suppor contradictory stories (so that’s four people promoting two completely different tales) on why this particular Googler got busted, or not busted as the case may be. Oh well. Did the Presidio Trust tell the Google to get a permit? And did Google ignore that request? Don’t know.)

And the Google Bikes:

And the Google office:

And the Google Kitchen – it’s just like a 7-11 except shoplifting is encouraged:

And here’s the concomitant G-Toilet – it costs $700, it has over 20 buttons for its full operation, it’s made in Japan:

So that’s Google’s world.

Why Choose the Haight Ashbury Post Office, 94117? It’s HIPPER, Officially – Concrete and Clay and General Decay

Friday, December 20th, 2013

I think the Feds have instituted an arrested decay policy on this joint:

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Sidewalk Christmas Tree Installed at Haight and Ashbury – Complete with Battery-Powered(?) Lights

Thursday, December 19th, 2013

[UPDATE: Oh no, the Great Christmas Tree of Haight Street tree is gone per amy stephenson of uppercasing! Did SFGov haul it away?]

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas in the Upper Haight:

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Haight Street Whole Foods Offers Tiny “Charlie Brown-Ass” Christmas Trees for Sale – “Elf Trees” They’re Called

Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

I believe the quote proffered by a passerby / loiterer was “sorry Charlie Brown-ass Christmas trees.”

At first I thought they were $30, but now I see that they’re just $20, which is fair enough, I suppose.*

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They sell bigger Christmas trees as well.

Hey, will WF’s tree sale cut down on sales at longstanding tree lots?

Oh yes.

Anyway, Merry Christmas!

*Maybe I’ll buy one, we’ll see.

Just in Time for the Holidays: Bacon Deodorant and Sriracha Candy Canes – Srsly – From J&D’s Foods

Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Justin and Dave have some new products for the holidays.

First up is www.PowerBacon.com deodorant:

“POWER BACON deodorant is designed specifically for those with active lifestyles – or people who just sweat like pigs.

Using POWER BACON will probably make everyone drawn to you like you were the most powerful magnet on Earth. And by everyone, we mean friends, acquaintances, beautiful strangers, dogs, bears, swamp alligators, lions and even pigs. It’s like an aphrodisiac for your armpits. But use your new power wisely, because with great bacon power comes great baconsibility.

For all day meat-scented protection, apply liberally to your underarms or private areas.

Do not eat or hike in the woods without a firearm while wearing POWER BACON.”

And brace yourselves: www.SrirachaCandyCanes.com

“There’s a reason Santa comes down your chimney – he likes it hot!

So warm up your taste buds this year with J&D’s Sriracha Candy Canes. The savior of bland Asian foods is now a fiery candy cane, great for tricking your unsuspecting friends and children or enjoying after a tasty bento box.

Rumor has it that these are pretty great crushed and served over ice cream or used as as a spicy-sweet holiday cocktail stirrer. Under no circumstances should you crush these into a fine powder and inhale them up your nose. Mostly for insurance purposes, we beg you to enjoy any Rooster-Sauce inspired holiday treats responsibly.

Each box has 12 individually wrapped Sriracha Candy Canes and are proudly made in the People’s Republic of Canada.”

I’m appalled.

Yet intrigued.