Posts Tagged ‘cop’

The Timeless Question of Where to Carry Your SFPD-Issued Nightstick / Attitude Adjuster – Oh, Here’s a Good Place!

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

How about in a tube above the front wheel, within easy reach of your right hand?

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So many perpetrators, so little time…

What It Looks Like When DreamForce Conventioneers Report Street Crime to the SFPD – A Few Questions

Thursday, November 21st, 2013

This pair here near 4th and Mission were victimized by, you guessed it, ladies, a team of mens.

Of course I had already guessed that they were DreamForcers but the officer directly asked them. So hey, how many Dreamforcers became crime victims this year? Does the SFPD keep records?

Just asking.

The Most Joyous SFPD Park Station Routine Stop Imaginable

Thursday, November 7th, 2013

I’ve never tried this strategy when dealing with the fuzz.

(And I seriously doubt it could work  for me.)

But who knows what happened in the end:

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And speaking of Golden Gate Park Park Station,you know what’s not so funny was the 1970 San Francisco Police Department Park Station bombing possibly involving The Weather Underground, possibly involving  Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn,

That’s not so funny at all.

  1.  Jump up to:a b c d Zamora, Jim Herron, “Plaque honors slain police officer: Eight others injured in bomb attack that killed sergeant in 1970″The San Francisco Chronicle, February 17, 2007
  2. Jump up^ “Police sergeant dies of wounds”UPI. 1970-02-19. Retrieved 2009-03-13.
  3. Jump up^ http://www.sfpoa.org/journal/journals/20070201.pdf
  4. Jump up^ KRON 4, “30-Y.O. Unsolved SF Murders Reopen”, November 10, 2003
  5. Jump up^ “1970 Cold Case to Be Explored at San Francisco News Conference on April 23″Reuters. April 23, 2009.
  6. Jump up^ “Police union targets ’60s radical”The Examiner. 2009-03-12. Retrieved 2009-03-14.
  7. Jump up^ “CHARGES IN KILLING OF S.F. OFFICER”San Francisco Chronicle. 2007-01-24. Retrieved 2009-03-13.
  8. Jump up^ Demian Bulwa, (2009-03-12). “S.F. police union accuses Ayers in 1970 bombing”. San Francisco Chronicle.

Meet R. Scott, the Super-Chill SFPD Motorcycle Cop Who Gives Stop Sign Tickets to Cyclists on the Wiggle Every Day

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Or at least it seems like every day.

Here he is on Waller in the Lower Haight last week. See? He’ll park his motorcycle and then stand in the street pointing to offending cyclists and counting out, “!, 2, 3, 4, 5…”

And then everybody gets to wait while he processes all the tickets.

Thusly. Now actually, a couple of these folks were just waiting for their friends, prolly because they didn’t fail to yield prolly because you had Officer R. Scott yelling away:

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Here we go:

Yeah, so I know this is the same thing as last year but I’m surprised to see the sustained nature of this recent enforcement action.

Observations:

1. Officer Scott has a “weakness.” Guess what, it’s sports cars! Owns a Porsche 996 he does. Then he explains that it’s a “modern 911,” which it sort of is.

2. Does he have advice for cyclists? Yes. It’s “SLOW DOWN” and it’s “you should be wearing a helmet” and “you should have your lights on.”

3. Does he also have a lecture? Yes. It’s “that call you just heard on my radio is about an assault with a hammer – I’d rather be answering that call.” See? Its like a guilt trip for all the recalcitrant cyclists of SF.

4. When the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition tells people to take the Wiggle route, is it basically telling them to not stop at stop signs? Yep, pretty much.

5. Do most of the people who live near the intersection of Steiner and Waller approve of this enforcement action? Yep.

6. Do many people coming up and down the Wiggle go too fast for conditions? Yes.

7. Do most of the offending cyclists bother to slow down just a little, you know, to make what’s called an Idaho stop (or a California stop or an Oklahoma stop)? No, they just blow right through. How did this culture develop? IDK, fixies?

8. Is there a way to avoid all this rigmarole by using the Unwiggle, the same basic route but using Fillmore and Pierce instead of cop-heavy Steiner and Scott? Yep.

 

Abercrombie & Fitch & Phallic SFPD Baton: The Face of Shoplifting at the Nordstrom Mall Near the Twitterloin

Monday, April 29th, 2013

Abercrombie, he just wanted the stuff back, but Fitch insisted on pressing charges….

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Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is … well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four

Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push – and it’s over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began …
I was bored before I even began

Uh, Did a Couple SFPD Officers Get Jumped by Street Kids on Haight Street Dec. 7? Emergency Surgery? Blurred Vision?

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

Uh, isn’t this sort of big news?

So how come nobody’s talking about it, except for Camden Avery of Uppercasing, The Upper Haight  Blog?

“What happened, according to the SFPD’s Park Station statement, was that at shortly after 11 PM Friday night, two uniformed officers in a cruiser stopped in the street to investigate a man lying down in the road. When they approached, he jumped up and punched one of the officers in the head. According to a security guard at Whole Foods, who witnessed the incident, the assailant called for help from a group of street kids nearby.”

Read all about it.

A hippie SFPD cop with “Stealie” clip identifier on his “assault weapon*”

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*As defined by Senator DiFi. (Of course most people would call a run-of-the-mill, police-issue handgun and handgun, but not DiFi.)

Group of Pedestrians Photobombs SFPD Police Cruiser After Officer Rousts Homeless Dude Sleeping on McAllister?

Thursday, October 25th, 2012

These people were all taking photos of the SFPD cop sitting inside the prowler.

Homeless dude was camera left on the sidewalk packing up his gear:

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Perhaps they’re part of an “improvement “ association and they’re getting shots for their newsletter?

That’s all I can think of…

Here’s What Happens When You Give a Fake Name to the SFPD to Get Out of a Citation

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

Oh look, it’s Stanley Roberts on Market Street with the SFPD:

No Wiggle Just tickets – People Behaving Badly:

Maybe lying to the cops about your name works sometimes, but the risks are fairly high…

SFPD Cop Leisurely Blocks All of Market Street for Five Minutes in Order to Ticket an SUV Driver

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

At first I thought this was an accident scene betwixt 5th and 6th streets, but no, it was just a cop giving a citation to a driver for driving straight through the intersection of 6th and Market.

You see, the cop stopped the SUV, which blocked the MUNI bus (which I think might have been rerouted for construction of the already-worthless yet very expensive Central Subway), which blocked everything else: 

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Oh well…

Rich White Lady from the Marina Times, Susan Dyer Reynolds, Calls for Bicycle Commuter Licensing and Insurance

Friday, July 6th, 2012

You know, because of the Chris Bucchere thing.

Here it is, or a part of it, anyway:

“With huge numbers of people biking to work on a daily basis, it may be time to look into licensing commuter bicyclists so they must take the same DMV tests motorcyclists and motorists take to ensure that they know the laws. It also seems that offenders should face some of the same punishments motorcyclists and motorists face, like points against their license. And if they’re going to be commuters, thus increasing the chances of accidents on city streets, perhaps they should also have to carry insurance. I’m not advocating these measures for the person who bikes through Golden Gate Park recreationally, one or two Sundays a month; but for everyday commuters, I think it makes sense.”

Oh, hold on, this post will need a photo.

Type Marina District into the Google, and this is what you’ll get:

Hair lightened and teeth whitened – I’ll have to try that one of these days. 

Now, where was I? Oh yes, uh, I seriously kind of don’t think you can require licensing and insurance for people who go to work on a bike and not for the people who go about solely in Golden Gate Park.

And points at the DMV, well, that would seem to penalize those with driver licenses more than those without, capiche? 

And Davis, CA? Is that our lodestar now, law enforcement-wise, rich white Marina Lady?

OK fine: 

Via Louise Macabitas

I drink your milkshake, Susan Dyer Reynolds!

I drink it up!

P.S.: I’m Brown Larry Bird/ You’re the ’97 Celtics

P.S.S.: Gentle Reader, don’t miss these riveting stories from the Great White North: