Posts Tagged ‘cops’

The SFMTA’s New “Scott Street Traffic Diversion” Proposal

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Well the SFMTA has a new tack on Scott Street betwixt Page and Fell for this year.

So last year, the SFMTA felt that these particular blocks of Scott were filled with “high speed” drivers “speeding” through the place and the SFMTA felt that the simple four way stop intersection of Page and Scott was “confusing for everyone.” Here we go:

With intersecting bike routes and heavy vehicle volumes, this intersection  is confusing for everyone

In fact, Page and Scott is not “confusing” at all. As stated, it’s a simple four-way stop, about as comprehensible as possible. And in fact, Page and Scott does not experience “heavy vehicle volumes.”

Oh well.

But hey, if you want to say that Hayes and Scott has heavier traffic volume these days, especially during the evening drive, well, we agree on that, SFMTA. Before, this traffic would have been on Divisadero, but recent “improvements” to the DivCo have lessened the DivCo’s capacity.

Here is the result of the “improvements” to Divis:

Anyway

But now it’s 2014 and that was then and this is now. The SFMTA is articulating new rationales for doing what it wants to do. They’re contained in the Scott Street Traffic Diversion.

Let’s check it out:

Motorists who drive through a neighborhood – rather than to a local destination – can cause congestion on residential streets.

WELL GEE, I SUPPOSE THAT’S TRUE. BUT MOTORISTS WHO DRIVE TO A LOCAL DESTINATION – RATHER THAN DRIVING THROUGH – CAN CAUSE CONGESTION AS WELL, RIGHT?

The City proposes restricting traffic on Scott Street to make it more comfortable for residents, bicycle riders and pedestrians.

OK, SFMTA, WHY DON’T WE RESTRICT TRAFFIC ON _ALL_ STREETS TO MAKE _EVERYBODY_ MORE “COMFORTABLE?”

An extra-large bulb-out at Scott and Fell will require all southbound automobile traffic to turn right onto Fell Street; bicycle riders and pedestrians can continue on Scott. This will reduce Scott Street’s appeal as a cross-town route, making it a more pleasant place to walk, bike, and live.

SO YOU WANT DIVISADERO TO BE A _LESS_ “PLEASANT” PLACE?

Access will be maintained to all homes and driveways, and changes will be made to improve Divisadero Street to accommodate diverted traffic.

OH, I SEE, YOU WANT DIVIS TO HAVE MORE GREEN LIGHT TIME AND, LET’S SEE HERE, HAIGHT, PAGE, OAK, FELL, HAYES, ETC TO HAVE LESS GREEN LIGHT TIME. ISN’T THIS KIND OF A ZERO-SUM GAME? WHY SHOULD THE CITY BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR THE RICH HOMEOWNERS OF SCOTT STREET?

Changes to Scott Street were initially requested by neighborhood residents unhappy with congestion and idling vehicles.

OK, SO WHAT ABOUT EVERY OTHER STREET IN SF? ARE YOU GOING TO POLL RESIDENTS OF ALL THE OTHER STREETS TO MEASURE THEIR “HAPPINESS?”

Restricting southbound traffic would greatly reduce this issue for several blocks both north and south of Fell Street. Residents who live on Scott between Oak and Fell would have to approach their homes from the south when driving, but would still have access to their driveways and would be able to exit the block to either the north or south.

WHY NOT THIS, SFMTA? WHY NOT SAY THAT ONLY SCOTT STREET RESIDENTS CAN PARK ON SCOTT STREET? I’LL BET THAT WOULD INCREASE THE HAPPINESS LEVEL OF THOSE MILLIONAIRES EVEN MORE. ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT NEXT, SFMTA?

With the proposed traffic diverter, drivers would still be able to park on both sides of Scott Street on the block between Oak and Fell with a U-turn required to reach parking spaces on the west side of the street. The traffic diverter would not remove any parking spaces from Scott Street, though bulb-outs at other locations in the project area will each remove 0-3 parking spaces.

WHY DON’T YOU JUST COME OUT AND SAY HOW MANY PARKING SPACES YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE OUT, SFMTA? OH, THAT’S NOT YOUR STYLE, HUH?

Biking on Scott Street in the southbound direction will be significantly calmer, with fewer automobiles to share the road with.

FEWER BUSES TOO, RIGHT? IN FACT NO BUSES AT ALL. AND YET, HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE RIDE ON BUSES ON SCOTT THROUGH THIS SACRED AREA ON A DAILY BASIS. WHAT ABOUT THEM?

Scott Street will no longer be a convenient route for driving in the southbound direction.

BECAUSE IT WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE, RIGHT? WELL, WE AGREE ON THAT ON, ANYWAY.

For drivers with destinations within the Alamo Square or Lower Haight neighborhoods, either Divisadero or parallel neighborhood residential streets could be used.

WELL THANKS, CAPTAIN OBV!

For drivers currently using Scott Street for longer stretches, Divisadero will be improved to make it the preferred route through the area.

UH, NO IT WON’T. SIMPLY.

Driving north on Scott Street would not be restricted under the proposal, though raised crosswalks and speed humps will be added.

WHAT’S THE SPEED LIMIT ON SCOTT, SFMTA? HOW MANY PEOPLE “SPEED” ON THESE TWO BLOCKS BETWIXT PAGE AND FELL? OH NONE, ALL RIGHT. BUT YOU’LL PUT IN “SPEED” BUMPS ANYWAY, BECAUSE, BECAUSE…?

Because of improvements the SFMTA will be making to Divisadero in conjunction with this project, neighborhood streets such as Steiner, Pierce and Broderick would not be expected to receive noticeable changes in automobile traffic – in fact, some cross-town traffic on these streets may switch to Divisadero as well.

THIS IS PIE IN THE SKY. THIS IS THE SFMTA’s BIG ROCK CANDY MOUNTAIN. IF THE SFMTA WANTS TO FAVOR NORTH-SOUTH TRAFFIC OVER EAST-WEST, IT CAN, OF COURSE, BUT AT THE EXPENSE OF EAST-WEST TRAFFIC, OF COURSE. ISN’T THIS A ZERO-SUM GAME, SFMTA?

Changing the traffic signals on Divisadero Street will ensure that the increase in the number of cars using Divisadero will not slow down the 24-Divisadero, and could even improve Muni service in some stretches.

THIS IS PIE IN THE SKY. THIS IS THE SFMTA’s BIG ROCK CANDY MOUNTAIN. OH WELL. HEY SFMTA, WHY NOT CHANGE THE TRAFFIC SIGNALS ON DIVIS RIGHT NOW, IF DOING THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT? SIMPLY, DIVERTING TRAFFIC ON SCOTT WILL NOT IMPROVE BUS SERVICE. SORRY, SFMTA. SORRY TO HARSH YOUR MELLOW, SFMTA.

The Timeless Question of Where to Carry Your SFPD-Issued Nightstick / Attitude Adjuster – Oh, Here’s a Good Place!

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

How about in a tube above the front wheel, within easy reach of your right hand?

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So many perpetrators, so little time…

Market Street Update: Seven SFPD Beat Cops Who Just LOVE LOVE LOVE Blondie “Red Bull Girls”

Monday, January 20th, 2014

Community policing in action, Market Street USA, from a few years ago:

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Calling BS on “Coastal Motor Escorts” – Motorcycle Security Guards with Seven Pointed Star Emblems to Look Like the SFPD?

Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Boy oh boy, do you think that this funeral escort motorcycle driver in the Western Addition has taken steps to appear to be an active-duty peace officer with the SFPD or CHP? Well, I do.

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I’m calling bullshit on the seven-pointed star up front and the squares designed to look like blue lights on the rear. I’ll tell you, there was this whole big deal about officers people in the San Francisco Patrol Special Police wearing seven-pointed stars when really they should all be wearing six-pointers. And blue lights? That should reserved for the real popo, non?

All right, Coastal Motor Escorts, you might have had your application rubber-stamped by the SFPD

“8. Oliveira, Michael  669 Bridgewater Circle, Danville 94526  Funeral Procession Escort  OK Permit;  dba “Coastal Motor Escorts, LLC.”  Permit #: 139056  District: U ID: 4971″

…but that doesn’t mean you have the right to impersonate police, right?

Now let’s learn a bit about this outfit from the San Jose Mercury News:

“QUESTION: Mr. Roadshow, the other day I had a scary encounter with a gun-toting security guard on a motorcycle while traveling on Interstate 880 in San Leandro. I was traveling with the flow of traffic when a white BMW motorcycle with emergency-type lights with “Coastal Motor Escorts” pulled next to my vehicle and began honking his horn and shaking his fist at me. I looked down and noticed my speedometer showed I was going 67 mph. I continued to drive and the motorcycle security guard pulled behind my vehicle and began flashing his high-beam lights at me. I was not sure if I should pull over or continue. There was no funeral procession or other activity and this guy was traveling alone.”

Read on for more deets of this encounter, be my guest.

And this isn’t just in Frisco – read on about what happens elsewhere.

So, I know all the reasons why motorized security guards would like to be perceived as being currently-employed peace officers, but I don’t agree with what Coastal Motor Escorts is doing in San Francisco.

I cry foul.

Did the SFPD Just Arrest an Uber (or UberX) Driver for Manslaughter? Pedestrian Death Story Going National

Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

Here’s the story and here’s it going national:

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And here’s Uber’s first statement on the matter, awkwardly-phrased:

And here’s the second statement, with another graf added:

And here’s the text version of this ham-fisted statement:

Our hearts go out to the family and victims of the accident that occurred in downtown San Francisco last night. We work with transportation providers across the Bay Area, but we can confirm that this tragedy did not involve a vehicle or provider doing a trip on the Uber system.

Our policy is to immediately deactivate any Uber partner involved in a serious law enforcement matter.  For that reason, we urge the police to release information about the driver in question as soon as possible.  If the driver is, in fact, a partner of Uber, he or she will immediately be deactivated from using Uber technology.”

Today’s Protest: “Evict the Cops! Defend our Homes! -THE POLICE ARE HERE TO PROTECT THE YUPPIES, NOT US!”

Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

It’s on!

A string of cops on motorcycles are ready to go for this event down in the Mission:

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All the deets:

Title: Evict the Cops! Defend our Homes!
START DATE: Wednesday January 01
TIME: 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Location Details: 3pm: 24th and Mission Bart Station
Event Type: Protest
On January 1st Mission residents and agitators want to ring in the New Year with a big “fuck you!” to the San Francisco Police Department. The elevated pig presence in the neighborhood is unavoidable and many have already felt its effects. In November, four Valencia Gardens residents were attacked and then arrested by SFPD officers. And the expansion of police surveillance at the 16th street BART plaza has lead to increased harassment of young people of color, homeless folks, and sex workers.

These efforts only aid in the gentrification of the Mission District as policing and surveillance are integral to the process of sterilizing a neighborhood for new, well-to-do, bougie assholes. Time and again the police have proven their loyalties to new developers and shitty landlords.

It’s the cops who are there to make sure we leave on the day of our evictions, who throw us out of our squats when we have no place to go, and who continually harass us because we’re not white yuppies. We’re fucking sick of it and so our resolution for 2014 is to make the SFPD’s life hell at any opportunity that presents itself.

Come out and march on January 1st at 3pm starting at 24th street BART Plaza and ending at 16th street BART.

The SFPD on Patrol Behind the Church Street Safeway

Tuesday, December 31st, 2013

You don’t usually see the SFPD here:

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SFMTA DPT Graffiti: “GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS” – Written on SFGov Denver Boot #E23

Tuesday, December 17th, 2013

The owner of the car pictured below decided not to pay his parking tickets. So, this car sat around collecting tickets until AutoReturn or something similar came along to tow it away, with extreme prejudice.

(Right? Like why pay the SFMTA more than $1000 for a car that’s worth less than $1000…)

But before this car was abandoned forever, its owner made sure to let  the SFMTA know what he thought about the situation. To wit:

“EAT MY SHIT, YOU SHIT-EATING PIECES OF SHIT.”

Oh, that’s not nice!

Now, let’s check the stinger on the arm:

“GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS.”

See? “Moving Forward Together” with the SFMTA:

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Too bad Angle Grinder Man doesn’t reside in the 415…

In closing, Don’t Mess With Texas.

Word on the Street: NO TRESPASSING (MPC SECT. 25), NO LOITERING, NO PANHANDLING, NO DRINKING, NO NOTHING

Friday, December 13th, 2013

On it goes, in what people from the East Bay call San Francisco’s “Uptown Tenderloin”

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Excuse Me, Officer? Our Mercedes Benz is Parked in Your Twitterloin Crime Scene – Could You Move Your Cruiser For Us?

Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

You know, just a skosh? ‘Cause the brunch line at farmerbrown is just too long for us today – we need to motor.

Gathering evidence at a crime scene in Mayor Ed Lee’s Twitterloin Open-Air Halfway House and Stolen IPhone Emporium:

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There was yellow tape all over the place, two scenes on Market and two on Turk. At first I thought it could have been a MDK, but I never heard anything about it…