Posts Tagged ‘cork’

The Best Costume for Halloween 2012: Critical Mass Miniskirt Road Flare Girl – It’s You, It’s New!

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012

Hey ladies! You already have white tops and black bras and short black skirts and black tights and white shoes in your closets, so all you’ll need is a road flare or two.

And how much will that run you, a couple bucks?

And then you’ll be ready for action the night of October 31st looking just like the real thing:

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Bringing a friend or two with you? Well then have them wear pencil skirts and follow you around.

And your guy friends can bring their bikes along – it all comes together.

Happy Halloween!

Wow: Miniskirted Woman Takes On All of Critical Mass with a Single Road Flare – Hilarity Ensues

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

Two women with tickets for the theatre did not take kindly to the 20th anniversary ride of Critical Mass last Friday night.

They did manage to rescue an SUV, but that’s the extent of their accomplishments.

Here it is, like a candle in the wind, a woman with a road flare in the Tenderloin:

You don’t like it, do you Rocco, the storm? Show it your gun, why don’t you? If it doesn’t stop, shoot it.

Portrait of a Critical Mass Corker, at Third and Market

Thursday, July 5th, 2012

I haven’t seen a Critical Mass in a while now.

Somehow winning the hearts and minds of Bay Areans:

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Anyway, this is why all those MUNI buses were stopped.

It’s because of “corking” like this.

OK fine.


The People Who Sell Cork Wine Stoppers Want You to Forget About Cork Taint and 2,4,6-Trichloroanisole

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Wonder what would happen if you showed this empty-headed, funded-by-Portuguese-taxpayers, “green” media campaign promoting the use of cork over other wine stopper materials to somebody like Mayor Gavin Newsom, who’s, let’s say, sort of on the facile side. Well, I’d bet he’d be all yeah, but – he’d get all nuanced with a quickness, talking about the pros and cons of how best to keep the vino inside the bottle-o and how this thang isn’t such a simple black-and-white (or green-or-not) issue.

Of course it’s not a simple issue. Maybe it’s a small issue, but it’s not simple.

Well, the people who sell cork are on a tear these days, telling dudes they won’t be able to have sex and telling gals they’ll lose their jobs if they ever have anything to do with anything but cork.

Oh, so that’s what TCA looks like? Thanks 100% Cork!

Cork taint up close.

Cork people, your campaign isn’t “humorous,” it’s just stupid.

In closing:

2,4,6-Trichloroanisole, TCA, 100% Cork Taint!

2,4,6-Trichloroanisole, TCA, 100% Cork Taint!

2,4,6-Trichloroanisole, TCA, 100% Cork Taint!

And now, the ham-fisted ad campaign from the poor, quasi-bankrupt Portuguese govmint:

“Beware the Holiday Party Faux Pas: Wine Topped with Artificial Stoppers

Office Worker’s Career Nearly Dashed by Failure to Choose Natural Cork

SAN FRANCISCO, Dec. 15, 2010 — Her career looked so promising until she committed the ultimate yuletide faux pas: showing up at the annual company holiday party with a bottle of wine – dare we say it?! — sealed with an artificial stopper.

Such is the sobering message from a video released recently at Party Faux Pas that depicts the sad tale of an office worker who fails to realize that artificial wine closures can undermine the environment.  Not to mention the fact that metal and plastic wine closures are about as festive as moldy mistletoe.

The clip, narrated by not-so-internationally renowned wine sommelier Garth Lockwood, is one in a series of videos produced by 100% Cork, the nationwide campaign to educate wine drinkers about the environmental, social and technical benefits of choosing natural cork closures over artificial stoppers.

Additional videos, including those without tongues placed in cheek, can be found at  The site also allows viewers to sign a pledge that will be sent to major wineries and wine retailers urging them to increase their reliance on wine finished with natural cork.

Reasons to Love and Choose Natural Cork

On a serious note, cork allows wine to properly age in a healthy and controlled environment and has proven to be the ideal closure for more than 400 years.

From an environmental perspective, metal screw caps and plastic stoppers produce 10-24 times more greenhouse gases and consume as much as five times more non-renewable energy than real cork over their life-cycles, according to a peer-reviewed study by PricewaterhouseCoopers.

Cork is harvested from the bark of cork oak trees grown in the Mediterranean Basin. Contrary to popular belief, cork oaks are not cut down or harmed during the harvest, which provides among the world’s highest-paid agricultural jobs.

Cork oaks can live for hundreds of years, and there is no shortage of corks or cork oak trees.  Demand for cork provides an incentive to plant and maintain the Mediterranean’s vast oak forests, which every year offset the carbon produced by 2.5 million cars.

The World Wildlife Federation has called the use of plastic and metal wine closures a “major threat” to Mediterranean cork oak forests because their use undermines demand for cork.

About 100% Cork
100% Cork is a campaign to educate U.S. wine consumers about the benefits of choosing wine with real cork stoppers because of cork’s environmental, technical and societal advantages.  The campaign seeks to recruit and organize wine consumers to request that winemakers and retailers choose natural cork over artificial stoppers.  The campaign is funded by the Portuguese Cork Association and the Cork Quality Council.


San Francisco Doesn’t Need a New York Judge or Anyone Else to Shut Down Critical Mass

Friday, February 26th, 2010

What makes San Francisco’s monthly Critical Mass an illegal bicycle parade is the fact that nobody gets permits. ‘Cause getting a permit is hard – it would entail doing stuff that costs a lot of money and it would make you a magnet for lawsuits, so who needs that, right?

The thing is that corking intersections and running red lights as a group (hallmarks of Critical Mass going back to the mid-1990’s), those things are obviously illegal, so the SFPD could start issuing citations whenever it wants, of course. And that’s true no matter how they roll in the Empire State. (Actually, I question how the New York decision affects us here in San Francisco at all, but oh well.)

I’ll tell you, the biggest shock that drivers have when they get stuck at an intersection is that they get no sympathy from the cops. Drivers without criminal records tend to stay by their cars and watch the parade of bikes.

OTOH, drivers with criminal records, well, Critical Mass is a test of their ability to maintain. Some fail.

Do I think San Francisco has the will to kill Critical Mass? No. But do I think Police Chief George Gascon is planning on shaking things up, in the coming months, you know, when rain no longer threatens* and the number of cyclists is bigger? Yes.

Hey, man, we don’t have any “leaders,” man. The City can’t do nothing to us, nobody’s in charge of CM, man.” Yes, roger that. I don’t think anybody’s going to stick you with a bill for $35,000 or anything, but changes are a coming…

Collateral damage from Critical Mass – MUNI vehicles stretching to the horizon in both directions. (Is that on the DO list or the DON’T list?) This kind of thing is one of the reasons you don’t see CM listed at the SFBC website calendar anymore.

Where’s Waldo, Cagney and Lacey on a recent Critical Mass ride:

The wonder of encountering an unexpected Critical Mass for the first time. Out-of-towners Rachel and Monica were delighted:

To Be Continued…

*Actually, tonight looks to be clear as a bell, Mel. But the forecast was for rain so tonight’s should be a smaller ride.

San Francisco’s MUNI Bus System Totally Pwned by Halloween Critical Mass 2009

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

San Francisco’s monthly semi-unauthorized bicycle parade was well-attended and exceptionally ugly last night. Did your bike suffer any property damage (“let’s fucking beat up his car!”)? For whatever reason, Halloween Critical Mass 2009 had lots of gaps so that led to confrontations at every intersection – confused car drivers were tempted to just push through to end their lengthy waits. And the SFPD seemed less pro-bike than I’m used to seeing. Oh well.

Now, grab your parasol, pack your marshmallows, count the choppers, put on your PJs, and raise your fixie. Let’s take a gander.

Just look at the stalled MUNI buses and trolleys (trollies?) stretching from Mid-Market all the way back to the Ferry Building last night: 

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The riders could only just sit and stare:

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Stare at this, a car-free Market Street:

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via geekstinkbreath

Now let’s take it to the streets. Ichiro was there. He started going on about how there’s “sexiness in the infield.” OK fine:

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About an hour or so after the six-ish P.M. starting time, the stalled buses started to pile up: 

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A happy corker vs. an unhappy corkee at the intersection of 8th and Market Streets.

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After a while, car drivers start getting into this rolling Rorschach test. Some sit on their cars…

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…while others, like this SUV driver, get out to fruitlessly confront the madding crowd:

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IMO, parolees display the least tolerance for CM. Oh well. They just can’t handle it.

A stalled driver gets freaked out by Pumpkinhead:

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Thank Gaia the cops were there:

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Oops, here there are, pushing along the stragglers on Market:

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And then an error – the main body of riders hung a right and headed up Van Ness. That’s not the way to cork MUNI, which got back to normal on Market Street round about 7:30 PM. Oh well. Van Ness from Hayes looking north up to California – the whole thing was entirely filled with bikes:

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So there’s your Halloween Critical Mass 2009. See you next year.

Drinking and Watching Gaelic Football at 6:00AM: Your Right as a San Franciscan

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

The popular Kezar Pub and Restaurantat 770 Stanyan in the Haight Ashbury / Cole Valley area allows patrons to watch live Gaelic Football all the way from Ireland.

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As long as you aren’t a tagging L.A. Dodgers fan, you’ll more than welcome. 

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Just follow KezarPub on Twitter to keep up with what’s going on….