Abercrombie, he just wanted the stuff back, but Fitch insisted on pressing charges….
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Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is … well, never mind, never mind
Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push – and it’s over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began …
I was bored before I even began
But look who’s against Prop 29 – it’s that famous convenience store what’s on Fulton and Masonic what can’t sell lottery tickets no mo owing to what some people, mind you, just some people, might possibly be tempted to label LOTTERY FRAUD.
See?
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Now here’s your Convenience Store Triad:
1. Alcohol sales to underage students from neighboring high schools and the University of San Francisco.
2. Cigarette sales.
3. Lottery ticket sales.
So, if you lose one leg of your triad, you’ve got to make sure not to lose the other two, that’s one conclusion you might draw…
Here’s the sad story from the dude what lost his stuff at the Subway Sandwiches on Polk and Sutter:
“(3/25/2012) I was in the Subway sandwiches place at 1199 Sutter at Polk and then walked outside to get a taxi for some people I was with. I had accidentally left my phone and wallet on the table. When I returned about 30 seconds later my stuff was gone. Here is the surveillance video of who took it. Please message me or email me at racejohnson@gmail.com if you recognize her.”
Now, I say girls, I mean, I can’t tell how old they are, something betwixt 14 and 24. They act like high school students AFAIAC.
Here’s what you do, you imagine this old guy on the left taking a picture of himself naked holding his wiener and then sexting it to you. Can you imagine?
Anyway, as you can see, Chris Hansen the sexting perv came to San Francisco recently.
Why? He came to punk unsuspecting store clerks who foolishly told their fake customers that their faked lottery tickets were losers only to try to cash the fake winning tickets in for themselves.
(And oh, I see, you give the $10,000 winning ticket to your gf for her to cash it in, you know, cause it might look a little auspicious if you, the Kwik-E-Mart owner/clerk, yourself did it? Wow, that’s using your noodle. Or not.)
(This is the kind of thing that belongs on SFist.com, but I don’t think it’s been there.)
I’m sorry, why do we even have a lottery in California? Seems like a magnet for fraud and other unhealthy activities, just saying.
And like your lottery ticket money goes to pay the State of California to go around and bust store clerks? Seems kind of pointless to me.
All right, signing off from the stoop of the Fulton Food Shop, kitty corner from Chris Hansen’s stand-up in front of the Fulton Street Lucky a few weeks back.
Here’s your business model right here. Imagine the mothership, the massive truck that they just drove up from Stockon, CA, safe and sound parked on an alley off Mission.
So then the crew can sell cherries all day and the rolling stock isn’t put at risk. It’s just like selling drugs except your customer base is much larger.
(Whatever you do, don’t lose the handtruck – that’s the the key to operation right there.)
“Ok this might be a tad cheesy but I’m excited to tour the city Sunday and check out the new works of Banksy.
Dolores Park (exact location unknown)
Mission (Valencia between 19th & 20th above Little Otsu)
SOMA (9th and Howard)
Financial District (Sacramento and Davis)
Chinatown (Grant and Commercial)
Haight St (above Villains Vault)”
Appears as if they’re trying pretty damn hard in 2010.
**Is Scott Beale of Laughing Squid really a “fool” and/or a “lazy fuck?” Decidedly not. So it’s difficult trying to make sense of the following:
“… Laughing Squid needs me to do some research so that lazy fuck can just rip off this blog without credit. Again. Even anonymous dumbasses on ezboards.com are better at giving us hat tips than that fool.”
