Posts Tagged ‘court’

SFGate Properly Covers an Offensive Charm Offensive from Ugly Billionaire Vinod Khosla – Plus CW Nevius and Sean Parker

Monday, July 28th, 2014

The first rule of Fight Club is, of course, Don’t Talk About Fight Club!

Similarly, the first rule of managing property that’s a part of the coast of California is It’s Very Hard To Manage Property That’s A Part Of The Coast Of California!

If you don’t already know this, then you might be a naive billionaire like Vinod Khosla. Or Sean Parker, who didn’t know(!) he needed to get permits to do what he done with his recent wedding.

Hey, here we go:

Vinod Khosla blames costly demands for Martins Beach trial, by Peter Fimrite

Now this is a remarkable bit in that the writer had to use the word “said” 19 times. Check it:

So I guess that the Vinod Khosla PR people feel that this new article helps to make up for stuff like this:

Martins Beach billionaire evades questions on stand

But I don’t think so.

In any event let’s praise writer Peter Fimrite for not falling into the CW Nevius trap of believing everything a source says hook, line, and sinker, and then regurgitating it in the pages of the Chronicle. No no, Peter Fimrite plays it straight.

Here we go:

“The ugly courtroom clash over Martins Beach, near Half Moon Bay, would not have happened if government and environmental zealots had not made unreasonable and costly demands, billionaire investor Vinod Khosla said Thursday in defense of a beach closure that has captivated Californians up and down the coast.

Gee Vinod, you didn’t know that doing anything on the coast is hard? Are you stupid?

“If they wanted you to make your backyard a park, would that hurt you?” he asked.

The reply to this is that Martin’s Beach is not anyone’s backyard.

“The Coastal Commission and the county have been completely unreasonable. They have been taking an extreme view and don’t want to compromise on anything.”

Well, IMO, from an outsider’s perspective, is that they haven’t been unreasonable at all.

“The founder of Khosla Ventures characterized the lawsuit Thursday as a dishonest attempt to wrest control of his property regardless of his rights while, at the same time, impugning his reputation.”

Well, make a deal now and your reputation will improve, Vinod.

The fact is, he said, Martins Beach had been run like a business by the previous owners for many decades. The Deeney family set up the first cabin in 1918 and continued building through the 1950s.

 Uh, this was a vanity purchase from a billionaire. Martins Beach really isn’t a “business,” right?

“What’s amazing to me is that we did not change anything about how the property had been run for 50 or 60 years and then one day out of the blue we got a letter from the county saying we had to have 1973 prices and be open 24/7,” Khosla said, meaning he was limited to charging the visitors only $2 and could never close the gate. “Does the county charge 1973 prices?”

So there’s just three paying customers a day and what they get charged will make or break the “business” of Martins Beach? Does that make sense?

Speaking of which, why does this billionaire dude care about the reputation of some business in Marin?

The shellfish operator’s lease was not renewed and Khosla said the organization’s reputation was wrongly and unfairly dragged through the mud in the process.

Oh well. Leaving you with this:

“Who is going to take a half-million dollars in liability and losses for something that is actually dangerous?” he asked…”

I can answer: a naive billionaire.

Google Seeks the “Right Balance” on the Right To Be Forgotten: “Expert Advisory Council” to Hold Meetings in Europe Soon

Friday, July 11th, 2014

The latest from the Google Blog on the so-called Right To Be Forgotten in the First Amendment-free EU:

Searching for the right balance

[So in five words I'm counting two puns and one subtle jab at the possibility of an absence of balance in this latest unappealable edict handed down from the Court of Justice.]

So here’s the wind-up:

“In May, the Court of Justice of the European Union established a “right to be forgotten.” Today, we published an op-ed by David Drummond, senior vice president of corporate development and chief legal officer, in the U.K.’s The Guardian, Germany’s Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, France’s Le Figaro and Spain’s El Pais, discussing the ruling and our response. We’re republishing the op-ed in full below. -Ed.”

And here’s the pitch – the final two grafs:

“That’s why we’ve also set up an advisory council of experts, the final membership of which we’re announcing today. These external experts from the worlds of academia, the media, data protection, civil society and the tech sector are serving as independent advisors to Google. The council will be asking for evidence and recommendations from different groups, and will hold public meetings this autumn across Europe to examine these issues more deeply. Its public report will include recommendations for particularly difficult removal requests (like criminal convictions); thoughts on the implications of the court’s decision for European Internet users, news publishers, search engines and others; and procedural steps that could improve accountability and transparency for websites and citizens.”

“The issues here at stake are important and difficult, but we’re committed to complying with the court’s decision. Indeed it’s hard not to empathize with some of the requests we’ve seen—from the man who asked that we not show a news article saying he had been questioned in connection with a crime (he’s able to demonstrate that he was never charged) to the mother who requested that we remove news articles for her daughter’s name as she had been the victim of abuse. It’s a complex issue, with no easy answers. So a robust debate is both welcome and necessary, as, on this issue at least, no search engine has an instant or perfect answer.”

“Posted by David Drummond, Senior Vice President, Corporate Development and Chief Legal Officer

Well played, G!

San Francisco’s Proposed Ban on Aerial Advertising is Just Asking for Litigation – Lots and Lots of Litigation

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

And I’ll tell you, the ban, if enacted, will work about as well as our ban on “rolling billboard” trucks, which is not well at all.

Hello, BOS? You can’t rely on the Honolulu decision. Well, maybe technically you can.*

But if they millionaires of SoMA are crying, I guess you all should pass whatever unconstitutional crap you want, what do I care.

As seen (over Union Square) (and heard only a little) yesterday, the scourge of millionaire condo owners everywhere:

Click to expand

*But not IRL, not really.

Heh: Rincon Hill Blogger Jamie Whitaker Pwns RPD Director Phil Ginsburg Using Math – And He Shows His Work

Monday, May 13th, 2013

Comes now the passionate and brusque Jamie Whitaker of Rincon Hill to totally pwn Recreation and Park Department Director and UC Hastings grad and Gavin Newsom lackey Phil Ginsburg.

“One issue that I am hopeful someone will take up is the claim by the Recreation and Parks Department’s Director Phil Ginsburg that “We want as much open space as possible, but we also need to have a way to care for it.” That was his quote in reference to why the City’s Recreation and Parks Department is unwilling to accept the donation of the park built in front of the new Rincon Green Apartments at 333 Harrison Street. Read the article here (hopefully, the shared full article will appear: http://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/article/Creating-new-park-no-picnic-for-broke-city-4490422.php?t=27ec6d327d3f99889e

“This is a lie from Phil Ginsburg and it should infuriate everyone who lives in the Rincon neighborhood or nearby.  Why do I say it is a lie?”

Read the rest of this over at Rincon Hilla san francisco neighborhood blog.”

Hey, speaking of Gavin Newsom lackey Phil Ginsburg, a few years back he had a total boner for this nearby project at Justin Herman and yet NOBODY HAS EVER USED IT EXCEPT FOR OCCUPY SF FOR A FEW MONTHS.

Gavin Newsom lackey Phil Ginsburg must be aware, I mean he’s not stupid, that this bocce thing was/is a big fat waste, but he’s afraid to acknowledge this because then he’d have to get a job in the real world.

Oh well…

San Francisco’s Most Anticipated Play of 2013: A.C.T.’s “Black Watch” – A Must-See – Runs Through June 16th

Friday, May 10th, 2013

This is it. This is your San Francisco Theatre Performance of the Year.

It’s Black Watch from Scotland.

It’s down in the Armory, in the Mission. If you show up late, they won’t let you in. 110 minutes, no intermission. And, oh yeah, all the tickets cost $100.

But everyone seems to love it. 

Get your tickets now if you want to go.

Look, it’s getting attention already:

Chad Jones of the San Francisco Chronicle

Karen D-Souza of the San Jose Mercury News

Georgia Rowe of the San Francisco Examiner

A shot from yesterday’s press preview at The Drill Court:

By  Brenden Mendoza – thanks!

All right, see you there!

Handy Guide: How to listen to Scootish People.

Here’s where it’s at:

The Armory Community Center
333 14th Street (between Mission and Valencia)
San Francisco, CA 94103

View a larger map and get directions

Use the Bay Area’s 511 TakeTransit Trip Planner to get public transit information.

For more information about public transportation and parking lot options please visit the Black Watch show page.

All the deets: 

National Theatre of Scotland’s Black Watch

May 9–June 16, 2013
A Revolutionary Theatrical Event

by Gregory Burke
Directed by John Tiffany

Performing in the Armory Community Center, located in San Francisco’s Mission District at 333 14th Street (between Mission and Valencia).

THERE WILL BE NO LATE SEATING!
Please plan appropriate travel time when making arrangements.

Running time:
1 hour and 50 minutes with no intermission

The internationally acclaimed hit—named “#1 Theatrical Event of the Year!”
by the New York Times
After transfixing audiences across the globe and receiving unanimous critical acclaim worldwide, National Theatre of Scotland’s revolutionary production of Black Watch makes its highly anticipated Bay Area premiere. Inspired by interviews with soldiers who served in Iraq with Scotland’s nearly 300-year-old Black Watch regiment, this hauntingly powerful depiction of war is so inventive and groundbreaking in scope that it demands a completely unique performance venue—and will take over the long-dormant Drill Court at San Francisco’s historic Mission Armory. Splicing together exquisitely deployed stagecraft, from choreographed marches and Scottish ballads to searing video news footage, Black Watch captures the layered state of being at war, from moment to gripping moment. A transformative theatrical event you don’t want to miss, Black Watch delivers a visceral, unforgettable experience.

Performances of Black Watch will take place in the Armory Community Center, located in San Francisco’s Mission District., located at 333 14th Street (between Mission and Valencia). Click here for directions.

“Thrilling . . . a necessary reminder of the transporting power that is unique to theater.” —The New York Times

“A genuine spectacle that revels in its own theatricality and comes replete with music, marching, explosive effects and its own piper.” —Chicago Tribune

“Magnificent” —New York Observer

“Enthralling” —Washington Post

“★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ! The world must see this play. Immediately.” —The Herald (Scotland)

“★ ★ ★ ★ ★! Fierce, passionate, and unguarded” —The Guardian

“A landmark event” —The Independent (London)

“A glorious piece of theater—raw, truthful, uncomfortable, moving, graceful and dynamic” —Scotland on Sunday

“Stirring and absorbing” —The West Australian

“A pulsating epic” —Daily Mail

Here’s How the “Drop Charge Against Petrelis” Blogspot is Dead Wrong About Attempted Bathroom Penis Photo Taking

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

Here’s how the “Drop Charge Against Petrelis” Blogspot looks at things:

“Page 5 of the transcript illustrates how the DA’s office frames the taking of a photograph: “The conduct in this case amount to a gross invasion of privacy.” Let’s get real! While Michael’s action can be seen as an annoyance, the innocuous photograph hardly warrants such an overblown mischaracterization.”

But here’s the reality, from the webpage entitled “peaking-at-wieners-wiener-in-city-hall”

“Of all the luck an activist could ask for in terms of an impromptu run-in with an ambitious homosexual politician of the Democratic persuasion. My new camera was ready for use in the second floor men’s room at City Hall on Friday afternoon when I walked in. Scott Wiener was standing at the urinal and had just started to tinkle as I entered and the camera took 4-6 seconds to focus, enough time for him to put away his wiener and zipper up.”

If Michael Petrelis is unapologetic then he’s forcing the DA’s office into a prosecution.

Any money “wasted” on this action is on M. Petrelis and not on SFGov.

Simply, M Petrelis is not being oppressed by SFGov.

So this kind of thing is absurd:

“Needless to say, as an independent blogger who frequently displeases the powerful and politicians with access to law enforcement agencies that create legal hassles for me, I stand in strong solidarity…”

Just saying.

Restored Bocce Ball Courts at Justin Herman Plaza – Unused Since OccupySF – Wouldn’t a Playground Be Nicer?

Friday, January 25th, 2013

Hell yes.

Click to expand

But for some reason, former Mayor Gavin Newsom moved Heaven and Earth to get this useless monument to Eurocentrism installed before he left office.

And then nobody used it so Occupy took it over.

And then it got restored.

Like a year ago.

And nobody’s used it since.

Oh well.

Apocalypto! Hey, What Happened to that Bay Area Mayan Prophecy “Film?” – Plus, Examiner Publisher Todd Vogt Cowardice

Thursday, December 20th, 2012

Well if the world ends tomorrow, 12-21-2012, the joke’s on me.

But otherwise…

So, earlier this year some rich whacko up in Marin started making a video* in Latin America what was supposed to be all about the so-called Mayan Prophecy.

But things headed south with the production, so that got written up in a blog down south, down in Los Angeles.

And then the same basic info was posted in the San Francisco Examiner. (It used to be right here.)

And then the rich Marin whacko actually went and sued that film-industry blog earlier this year.

And then the rich Marin whacko lost her lawsuit, big time.

So then I made a post about this affair, you know, because nobody else up here had done so.

Then I got a threatening letter from the same attorney who lost the case in L.A. Read that letter here.

But apparently, that threat was all lies and jest.

Oh well.

Hey, do you like sports analogies ‘n stuff?

This is rich Marin County whacko Elisabeth Theriot’s inchoate SLAPP lawsuit against TheWrap blog, IMO:

See? Kicker Garo Yepremien tried to score a few points but then opposing counsel filed a special motion to strike that was so special that discovery was immediately halted. Then he lost the hearing and that was the end of the suit, it looks like. I’m saying Elisabeth Theriot got pwned in court.

With a quickness.

Which, you know, this kind of thing doesn’t happen every day so that’s why I made a post about it.

But now the world is supposed to end tomorrow ‘n stuff and there’s no Mayan Prophecy “film” to see.

Oh well.

Now, what about San Francisco Examiner President and Publisher Todd Vogt? Do you think he got some sort of request or demand or something from rich Marin County whacko Elisabeth Theriot or the wire service or somebody to take down the wire story on these topics, you know, that used to be posted right here?

Why would the ‘Xam have a page dedicated to rich Marin County whacko Elisabeth Theriot (just look at the URL bar) with nothing to say about her? It’s because the story about her that used to be there is no longer there.
Is there cowardice here?

I’ll tell you, TheWrap.com stood up to rich Marin County whacko Elisabeth Theriot and was/will be rewarded with mandatory attorney fees as a kind of reward.

Why couldn’t/can’t the ‘Xam stand up to rich Marin County whacko Elisabeth Theriot too?

I don’t know.

Now I’ll tell you, when an actual newspaper (improperly, IMO) caves to some rich lady, that just might have the effect of emboldening her. Then she just might start going after poor, defenseless WordPress bloggers.

But maybe I’m way off on this one.

If so, please somebody disabuse me.

* I call it a video because it was (mostly?) recorded on digicams – no film required. The current title of this still-troubled production is Mayan Revelations & Hollywood Lies. It’s delayed. It’s nonsense. Oh what’s that, we’re going to see just how important that Long Count calendar is tout de suite? No we won’t. Sorry. Oh, over the coming decades? No we won’t. Sorry.

A Few Questions for Blogger Michael Petrelis of the Petrelis Files re: the Scott Wiener Bathroom Incident

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

So, let’s see here.

1. The idea of taking a photo of Supervisor Scott Wiener’s weiner in a bathroom was good  because…

Because why? I don’t get it.

2. Making a federal case (potentially, eventually), a cause celebre, out of this incident is helpful because…

Because why? I don’t get it.

And you say you “allegedly” attempted to violate Section 647(j)(1) of the California Penal Code because, like, you don’t know what you actually did and why you did it?’

Isn’t that the kind of thing criminals say?

I think so.

Here’s what you should do, you apologize.

You say:

1. I’m sorry for what I did. I got carried away over the whole nudity ban thing (or whatever it was) and I did something I shouldn’t have. I won’t do anything like that ever again; and

2. You say it like you mean it, whether you mean it or not.

And if you had done that already, then we wouldn’t be here with you wasting your time and the time and money of other people, like taxpayers ‘n stuff.

Just saying…

San Francisco Chronicle Writer CW Nevius Is Always Wrong: Chapter 237, Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi Case

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

Here’s the latest boner from CW Nevius regarding the Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi case:

“It’s not that Mirkarimi is expected to have much of a shot to win reinstatement. All the smart money at City Hall is predicting an 11-0 vote against his case. That way everyone has some political cover.”

So, once again, CW Nevius is totally wrong on an issue. And, once again, he will refuse to acknowledge his mistake.

Nevius, can’t you learn from your mistakes?

Oh well.

Ah, memories:

San Francisco Chronicle opinion “reporter” CW Nevius should stick to his opinions, IMO. Cause it’s when he mixes up his opinions with what he considers facts, that’s when the trouble starts.

Anyway, I don’t question his ability to get people to answer his phone calls and then offer quotes, but I do question his ability to understand what those people tell him.

Oh well.

Here it is, a Nevius column three-way mash-up, starting all the way back in the month of January 2012.

(And, as always, please keep in mind that The Nevius is NOT biased on this particular topic, not at all, like why would you even think that?)

“The neighbor who called authorities with concerns (and good for her) learned that the hard way. She reportedly said she only wanted to express concern, not to release the photo or the cell phone texts.”

SO, SOMEBODY  CALLS THE COPS TO “EXPRESS CONCERN?” WHO DOES THAT? SOMEBODY WHO’S HORRIBLY NAIVE, LIKE IVORY MADISON? AND SHE DOES IT WITH HER VERY OWN PERSONAL IPHONE? SO YOU CALL THE COPS AND TELL THEM YOU HAVE SOLID EVIDENCE OF A CRIME BUT YOU’RE NOT READY TO TURN IT OVER TO THEM. I MEAN, HOW MANY MINUTES WILL IT TAKE FOR THEM TO BE BANGING ON YOUR DOOR? OH WAIT, YOU POLITELY ASKED THEM _NOT_ TO STAR-69 YOU? WELL IN THAT CASE…

There are many people in law enforcement who dislike him and don’t think he is fit for the job.

THE THOUGHTS OF “MANY PEOPLE” ARE ALWAYS CONGRUENT WITH CW NEVIUS IN CW NEVIUS-LAND. HOW CONVENIENT!

There is a school of thought that says Mirkarimi should step gracefully away from the job now and get on with his life.

SEE? MORE “THOUGHT” FROM THE NEVE. NEVE IS UPSET THAT ROSS MIRKARIMI WON THE SHERIFF’S RACE, SO NEVE IS HAPPY TO SEE ROSS GO, OF COURSE.

There is the possibility that Mirkarimi could be angling for something like a plea of “no contest,” which doesn’t carry the stigma of a guilty plea.

UH, NEVIUS, HOW SIMPLE ARE YOU? HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE TERM BEFORE? DO YOU EXPECT YOUR READERS TO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT “NO CONTEST” MEANS? AND OH, IT MEANS “GUILTY,” MORE OR LESS, SO YES, THERE’S A STIGMA ATTACHED TO NOT FIGHTING WHEN A DISTRICT ATTORNEY IS TRYING YOU FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG. FOR _MOST_ PEOPLE, SUCH A PLEA CARRIES THE SAME STIGMA OF A GUILTY PLEA. AND, AS GOES WITHOUT SAYING, IT’S OUR RIGHT TO PLEA THAT WAY IN CALIFORNIA. YOU SEE, THERE’S NO “ANGLING,” THERE’S NO DEAL STRATEGERY REQUIRED, DESPITE WHAT YOU THINK, NEVE.

But to Mirkarimi, that may seem like caving in.

AS IT WOULD TO ANYONE.

Fighting the charges and winning would be the sweet vindication for Mirkarimi. He would never get tired of saying “I told you so,” and no one could blame him.

UH, I DON’T THINK HE WOULD GO AROUND SAYING “I TOLD YOU SO.” AND IF HE DID, PEOPLE COULD AND WOULD BLAME HIM.

Until now, I’ve gone along with the idea of letting the Ross Mirkarimi misdemeanor domestic battery case play out.

HOW GENEROUS OF YOU. ARE YOU THE FOURTH BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT, CW NEVIUS? AREN’T YOU MERELY AN EX-JOCK MOVIE REVIEWER? I THINK SO.

It is time for Mirkarimi to cut his losses. Clearly he is fighting for his political life. But that cannot be the only consideration. What about what is good for the city?

IN NEVIUS-LAND, EVERY POLITICIAN IN TOWN SHOULD BE A REPUBLICAN OR BUSINESS DEMOCRAT. PER NEVIUS, THAT’S WHAT WOULD BE “GOOD FOR THE CITY.” AND SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE GOOD OF THE CITY SO MUCH? HEY NEVIUS, DON’T YOU ACTUALLY OPPOSE THE CENTRAL SUBWAY? I THINK YOU DO, OR AT LEAST YOU USED TOREMEMBER HOW THE VERY THOUGHT OF IT MADE YOU “WINCE?” BUT YOU CAN’T VERY WELL OPPOSE IT NOW, CAN YOU, NOW THAT IT’S GOTTEN A LOT WORSE? WHAT WOULD THAT BE LIKE, NEVE, IF YOU WOULD VOICE YOUR CONCERNS OVER ROSE PAK’S SUBWAY TO NOWHERE, YOU KNOW, “FOR THE GOOD OF THE CITY?” ALL YOUR RECENT BEAT SWEETENER AND SOURCE GREASER COLUMNS, WELL, THEY’D BE FOR NAUGHT, RIGHT?

It wouldn’t be inconceivable that it would be the middle of March before a courtroom was assigned.

FRET NOT, NEVE, THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO ACTUALLY FOUND A PLACE TO HOLD A CRIMINAL TRIAL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

Although Ivory Madison’s biography says she attended law school, whether or not she was working as an attorney, or represented Lopez, is bound to be contentious. And that’s just one of the issues. The video is pivotal to the case, so there will probably be further challenges of that.

YOU KNOW NEVE, BY YOUR STANDARDS, YOUR ERRORS IN REPORTING THIS CASE AREN’T ALL THAT EGREGIOUS. HOWEVER, THIS BONER IS WHY YOU’RE IN THE SPANKING MACHINE AGAIN. IVORY MADISON NEED NOT HAVE BEEN ‘WORKING AS AN ATTORNEY” NOR “REPRESENTING” ANYBODY IN ORDER FOR THE ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE TO APPLY. YOU TALK TO EXPERTS, THEY TELL YOU THE RIGHT THING, AND THEN YOU SCREW IT UP, OVER AND OVER AND OVER. DON’T YOU HAVE AN EDITOR BY NOW? OR ARE YOU EMPOWERED TO WRITE WHATEVER CRAP YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU MAKE MONEY(?) FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE? DO YOU EVER ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MANY MANY MISTAKES? DO YOU EVER ISSUE CORRECTIONS? ANYWHO, THE “CONTENTIOUS” ISSUES YOU WONDERED ABOUT WEREN’T CONTENTIOUS AT ALL, AS IT TURNED OUT, AND AS SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS TO YOU. YES EVEN YOU.

A reasonable suggestion would be for him to plead no contest to the charges.

A REASONABLE SUGGESTION FROM A SUBURBAN-MINDED REPUBLICAN SUCH AS YOURSELF, THAT’S WHAT YOU MEAN.

He should admit mistakes, apologize, and lay out a plan of rehabilitation – anger management, family counseling and personal guidance. He could say he has seen his errors and faced up to them. Therefore, he could say, he should be allowed to remain on as sheriff. Keeping the job would be a long shot. Personally, I’d oppose it.

OK, SO IT’S “DO EVERYTHING I SAY AND THE REWARD WILL BE ME, THE NEVIUS, OPPOSING YOU FROM FULFILLING THE WISHES OF THE VOTERS.” IS THAT YOUR CARROT-AND-STICK APPROACH, NEVE? MORE LIKE STICK AND STICK, IT WOULD SEEM.

Today it is a public soap opera, with trial-stalling delays, media scrums in the courthouse, and open snickering about ex-girlfriends’ panties.

I THINK YOU MEAN PAIR OF PANTIES, NEVE. LIKE ONE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING. YOU SEE, THE WAY YOU SAID IT MADE IT SEEM LIKE THERE WERE MULTIPLE GFS AND MULTIPLE PAIRS OF FOUND PANTIES. OH, I SEE, WE’RE IN NEVIUS-LAND, WHERE A “REPORTER,” SUCH AS YOURSELF ISN’T HELD TO THE SAME STANDARDS AS ANY OTHER REPORTER. OK.

It all could have been avoided. I understand if Mirkarimi and Eliana Lopez, his wife, feel wronged and want to fight the charges. But instead of having their lawyers challenge each piece of evidence, get up on the stand, make your case – Lopez does sound convincing – and let a jury decide.

WOW, SO WILLIAM WALLACE SHOULD JUST HAVE GIVEN UP TO KING ED BEFORE THE BATTLE OF FALKIRK EVEN BEGAN? BAD FORM.

Granted, the videotape of Lopez crying and pointing to a bruise on her arm doesn’t look good. But Mirkarimi and Lopez’s lawyers aren’t disputing the facts or saying it is a fake. They’re trying to remove it on a legal technicality. Just let them play the tape and respond.

NOW WHO’S THE FAKE ATTORNEY, IVORY MADISON OR YOU, NEVIUS?

Meanwhile, those who predicted a one-week trial are getting a lesson in the speed of justice.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, NEVIUS? WHO ARE THESE STRAWMEN?

As weeks tick away, insiders estimate that Mirkarimi’s legal fees could be running into six figures.

WOW, “INSIDERS!” INSIDERS SUCH AS YOURSELF, NEVE?

Legally, everything turns on the video of Mirkarimi’s wife.

WOW, YOU EXPLAIN THE COMPLEX LEGALITIES SO WELL, PROFESSOR CONVENTIONAL WISDOM NEVIUS, JD. YOUR INSIGHT IS BOTH BOLD AND UNIQUE (OR NOT).

Lopez’s attorney, Paula Canny, says because the tape was made by a neighbor, Ivory Madison, who has a law degree, the tape would be violating attorney-client privilege.

NOT EXACTLY, NEVE. WHAT MATTERED IS WHAT LOPEZ BELIEVED, OF COURSE, UNDER CA LAW. THAT’S NOT ALL THAT MATTERED OF COURSE, AS THIS GAMBIT FAILED, BUT ANYWAY. YOU’RE PUTTING WORDS IN HER MOUTH, NEVE. YOU HAVE NO FRAME OF REFERENCE, DONNY. YOU’RE LIKE A CHILD WHO WANDERS INTO THE MIDDLE OF A MOVIE…

It may be a plausible legal argument but it stops the trial dead…

NOT REALLY, AS IT TURNED OUT.

Because now after months of these charges, those panties, and that tape of his weeping and bruised wife, this will follow Mirkarimi the rest of his life.

AND IF THE TRIAL HAD OCCURRED, SOMEHOW, IN FEBRUARY 2012, THEN THIS SITUATION _WOULDN’T_ HAVE FOLLOWED MIRKARIMI AROUND FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE ARGUING?

Keane compared him to O.J. Simpson, which sounded like a stretch.

YOU MEAN IT SEEMD A STRETCH AT FIRST, TO YOUR SIMPLE MIND? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN?

Simpson was charged with murder, not spousal abuse.

I GET YOUR POINT ON THIS, NEVE, BUT YOU’RE SORT OF WRONG ON THIS SCORE.*

But there are similarities.

WASN’T THAT HIS FUCKING POINT, NEVE? YOUR READERS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU, NEVE. SO WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO THEM?

After a long, painful, media-frenzy of a trial, Simpson was acquitted.

OMG, THAT CHECKS OUT TOO!

But he was a public pariah, his reputation in tatters. Simpson must wonder if it was all worth it. My guess is Ross Mirkarimi will too.

WOW, GREAT GUESS, NEVE. IT’S JUST LIKE WITH HITLER, WHO DIDN’T EVEN NEED THE REICHSTAG FIRE DECREE TO SEIZE POWER. HITLER MUST HAVE WONDERED “IF IT WAS ALL WORTH IT” OR LIKE WITH YOUR BUDDY, MAYOR ED LEE, WHO DIDN’T EVEN NEED STENCIL VOTING AND ROSE PAK TO WIN ELECTION. ED LEE MUST HAVE WONDERED “IF IT WAS ALL WORTH IT” AS WELL, HUH?

YOU’VE GIVEN US ALL A LOT TO THINK ABOUT, NEVE.

*Sort of. Actually OJ was charged with domestic violence too, before he was charged with killing that gal and that guy. I’ll give you just one guess what his plea was…