Depending on your wheel / tire set up, you can actually kiss the curb with two tires, if you try.
Otherwise somebody might ask how high you were when you parked last night.
Perhaps this is legal in CA…
…but it’s not acceptable in SF
Here we go:
A chicane is an artificial feature creating extra turns in a road, used in motor racing and on streets to slow traffic for safety. Chicane comes from the French verb chicaner, which means “to quibble” or “to prevent justice.”
And here’s an example of one, in the Presidio on Washington Boulevard near Nauman Road by base housing:
Click to expand
(One assumes that area fire departments would simply drive over these chicanes on Washington Blvd. in an emergency)
Someday I’ll drive through this chicane in a car – it’s on my bucket list.
Do you remember this one, from last month?
Well, since then, this vehicle has been making waves, you know, getting pulled over by the SFPD, getting ticketed by SFMTAMUNIDPTSFBC meter maids (Tough People, Good Jobs), and getting towed outta Chinatown like a beached whale.
And you know what the little people, the tiny topolino, those boring, mousy types who can only dream of being piloti di Lamborghini or a sexy-time lover of piloti di Lamborghini, you know what they do? They whip out their cell phones and then post photos to the Internet.
As here on Market last month, via my Samsung Galaxy Note II phablet:
Click to expand
And here’s an effort from Lulu Vision a few days later:
But there was no ticket issued for this particular yellow zone violation. Lucky Devil!
Now speak of the Devil, El Diablo, here’s a list of recent citations issued for this whip by the SFMTA:
02/13/13 T37C STREET CLEANING $62.00
02/25/13 T202.1 PRK METER DOWNTOWN $72.00
02/28/13 T37C STREET CLEANING $62.00
03/01/13 T38C WHITE ZONE $98.00
03/02/13 V22502A OVER 18 IN. FRM CURB $57.00
03/02/13 T38C WHITE ZONE $98.00
03/02/13 T38A RED ZONE $98.00
Of course the cops don’t care about you parking in the yellow zone when they’re pulling you over, as here on Kearny. Also via Lulu Vision:
Hey look what came out of the Lambo – it’s a quarter ounce of medicinal Mary Jane plus a quarter gallon of medicinal luxury vodka.
Good times. Good times for 32-year-old Mr. Cheng.
(Good thing that vodka was capped, Brother. Anyway, the SFPD let him go with a ticket.)
But getting towed from the front of the Chinatown McDonalds because of corrupt Rose Pak’s Chinese New Year’s parade, well that’s the limit, am I right, people?
I’ll tell you, I don’t know if this kind of exoticar lifestyle is sustainable.
Well let’s the driver of this car can Go Forth And Sin No More…
Multiple tickets on this ride indicate that this otherwise-legal parking job will end up costing the driver three-figures.
(What’s stopping a PCO from coming back every hour to add yet another ticket for the same violation? Don’t know…)
Click to expand
But, c’mon dude, is this the best you can do?
Click to expand
How about a new law? How about six inches max for San Francisco?
Now, Go Forth and Sin No More.
When parking in San Francisco, you should always curb your wheels. If you can’t tell whether you’re pointing uphill or down, just pour out a little water from your bottle into the gutter.
The way the water goes tells you which way the hill goes. Or just look at what all the other drivers on the block did. Easy peasy, right?
The driver of this VW Cabrio made the wrong choice, so a ticket from SFMTA was the result. Parking Control Officers will spot this infraction from a block away and then make a special trip just for you.
You would think that a car that could fit into a garage could also pass through the sidewalk cut-out made for said garage. Of course you say, it’s axiomatic ‘n stuff. But some people don’t believe that. These homeowners pester the City for official DPT sidewalk curb red paint to keep encroaching street parkers at bay.
As if that’s not enough, said homeowners then proceed to add in their own menacing, hysterical “TOW” lines in red paint, paint that never quite matches the official colour. Thusly, as seen in Ashbury Heights:
Is the owner of this Toyota RAV4 playing a dangerous game? Click to expand.
Is it true that huge WW II-era battleships had less room to play with, width-wise, going through the Panama Canal than what some complaining San Francisco homeowners demand for their little cars? Yes. For example, the 34,000-tonne U.S.S. North Carolina battleship had just 12 inches clearance on either side, back in the day.
But you give a San Francisco homeowner just a foot on either side and it’s TOW, TOW, TOW.
Driving lessons cheerfully given for free. NB: Try not to steer too much. NNB: Try backing her in when you garage it in the first place.
Here’s an idea. After you actually learn how to drive, then take the sandblaster you’ve got somewhere in your garage (you know, right next to the unexploded ordnance you all seem to store) to eliminate evidence of your unneighborlyness.
Good on you, mate.
Whether or not you get a ticket for parking the rear of your Mercedesin traffic on Gough Street, you probably shouldn’t do it anyway.
Did the driver even try here?
Click to expand:
Doesn’t look that way.
We’re living in a society here, people. So even though the Man gives allows you a foot and a half spacing from your tires to the curb, you can do better than that. Check out this Mercedes SUV – see how far it is from the curb? Why not use one of the many San Francisco Examiner newspapers that some billionaire from Colorado has seen fit to have strewn about the place?
If a ‘Xam can fit betwixt the curb and your wheel, then you gots to try again. Two Xams away is way too much. PARKING FAIL. Bikes belong in traffic, as they say – you want to make things easier for everybody else, right? With practice, you should be able to get it down to a quarter Xam or less.
Click to expand.
Lots of room for improvement here on Fell Street. (In mitigation, the Mercedes ML driver did manage to retract the outside rear view mirrors. Ten points for Gryffindor.)
If you can’t handle this simple task, maybe you shouldn’t be driving.