Posts Tagged ‘Dear Guest’

So-Called World Capital of Innovation Can’t Seem to Solve the Bedbug Problem – Here’s the Letter You Will Get

Tuesday, November 13th, 2012

You know, after you been bitten hundreds of times by bedbugs, which, you know, are all over the place in San Francisco. Still.

Like at your hotel, dear Visitor.

Like, I don’t know, did the Hotel Whitcomb,change its name owing to some issue with bedbugs?

The old Ramada is now the new Whitcomb. But it’s still the same place:

Click to expand

Oh, here we go:

Downtown Bedbug Attack Costs Ramada $71,000

(I don’t know if I’d call this area “downtown,” but anywho, wow.)

Now, let’s hear from Kris Betz, Hotel Whitcomb Director of Operations, to get a (somewhat) canned response to a relatively recent allegation of infestation:

“19 July 2011

Dear Guest,

We are sorry for any discomfort that you may have experienced and we are very concerned about what happened. We want you to know that it is our highest priority to provide our guests with the cleanest rooms possible. We have a dedicated inspection team of trained staff that inspects all our rooms to ensure that these cases do not arise.

As you mentioned that you did not find any evidence, so it is possible you could have encountered them elsewhere. Please note that this incident has nothing to do with the cleanliness of our rooms. Please rest assured that this is not a reflection of our facilities cleanliness, as we take pride in providing excellent service and the cleanest accommodations, for all our guests.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience so we may discuss any circumstances which may have occurred and please accept our sincerest apologies.

Kris Betz, Director of Operations”

I don’t know, man, I feel sorry for the Euros what stay at this place. They’re pretty much all gorgeous,* in-shape,* natural blond(e)s,* who just want to have fun in the 415, you know, they just want to pose for photos with big American police cars and fire trucks and stuff like that and what’s so wrong with that?

I feel sorry for them when they get shot and killed on Mason in Union Square or run over and killed by drunk drivers on Masonic or bitten 400 times by bedbugs during one stay.

I kind of feel that we’re letting these people down. I feel we’re shirking our obligations to our tourists. 

If I were Director of Operations at Hotel Whitcomb, I would engage in total war with the bedbugs.

And I wouldn’t write “Dear Guest” letters what discuss possibilities and evidence.

Just saying.

*Unlike me.

Brace Yourselves, Gordon Ramsay’s HOTEL HELL Show is Coming – Big Ad on Market Street, How Apropro

Monday, August 13th, 2012

Famed restaurateur Gordon Ramsay is moving on from restaurants to hotels starting today – HOTEL HELL debuts tonight on the Fox.

Check it:

If [hotels] suggest they will upgrade you to the honeymoon suite, don’t take it. I’m trying to be serious because it is somewhat shocking. I just didn’t think it could shoot that far. I’m talking about if you shake a can of Coke and open it.” 

OK fine.

Actually, GR, I was thinking that bed bugs might belong at the top of the list.

Market Street, USA:

Click to expand

But, hey Gordo, are you going to come to the 415? We need you here.

Speaking of Market Street and bed bugs, here’s what the Hotel Whitcomb (renamed from Ramada Plaza not too long ago because of a massive lawsuit  involving bed bugs and ballyhoo) will send out to you if you report dozens of bites on your porcelain skin:

“19 July 2011

Dear Guest,

We are sorry for any discomfort that you may have experienced and we are very concerned about what happened. We want you to know that it is our highest priority to provide our guests with the cleanest rooms possible. We have a dedicated inspection team of trained staff that inspects all our rooms to ensure that these cases do not arise.

As you mentioned that you did not find any evidence, so it is possible you could have encountered them elsewhere. Please note that this incident has nothing to do with the cleanliness of our rooms. Please rest assured that this is not a reflection of our facilities cleanliness, as we take pride in providing excellent service and the cleanest accommodations, for all our guests.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience so we may discuss any circumstances which may have occurred and please accept our sincerest apologies.

Kris Betz, Director of Operations”

That’s how we roll in San Francisco’s corrupt Mid Market Twitterloin.

So sure, you’re covered in bites, but:

1. You probably got bitten somewhere else, not at Hotel Whitcomb!

2. Or maybe you’re just making things up, maybe you’re insane! 

3. Or maybe you’re not insane but you’re a criminal who wants to shake us down for, I don’t know, another big fat $71,000 judgment / settlement!

4. Or maybe you did encounter bed bugs in one of our rooms, but probably you didn’t experience any discomfort, right? Kind of a no harm no foul kind of thing!

5. And, in any event, our rooms are clean. Did I mention that before? Our rooms are clean. Can I mention this fact four times in five sentences? YES I CAN!

Save us, Gordon Ramsay.

Does It Still Have Bedbugs? Hotel Whitcomb (or Hotel Whit.Com) nee Ramada Plaza at 8th and Market

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

So there I was out getting exercise by getting those Billy Elliot rush tickets at the Orpheum Theatre* and I noticed the new name for this old hotel.

See? I totally read that as Hotel Whit.Com, ’cause, you know, I’m not hooked up right:

Click to expand

But then I thought, oh, the Hotel Whitcomb, is that the place where they might have changed the name owing to some issue with bedbugs?

Oh, here we go:

Downtown Bedbug Attack Costs Ramada $71,000

(I don’t know if I’d call this area “downtown,” but anywho, wow.)

Now, let’s hear from Kris Betz, Hotel Whitcomb Director of Operations, to get a (somewhat) canned response to quite recent allegations of infestation:

“19 July 2011

Dear Guest,

We are sorry for any discomfort that you may have experienced and we are very concerned about what happened. We want you to know that it is our highest priority to provide our guests with the cleanest rooms possible. We have a dedicated inspection team of trained staff that inspects all our rooms to ensure that these cases do not arise.

As you mentioned that you did not find any evidence, so it is possible you could have encountered them elsewhere. Please note that this incident has nothing to do with the cleanliness of our rooms. Please rest assured that this is not a reflection of our facilities cleanliness, as we take pride in providing excellent service and the cleanest accommodations, for all our guests.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience so we may discuss any circumstances which may have occurred and please accept our sincerest apologies.

Kris Betz, Director of Operations”

I don’t know, man, I feel sorry for the Euros what stay at this place. They’re pretty much all gorgeous,** in-shape,** natural blonds,** who just want to have fun in the 415, you know, they just want to pose for photos with big American police cars and fire trucks and what’s so wrong with that? I feel sorry for them when they get shot and killed on Mason in Union Square or run over and killed by drunk drivers on Masonic or bitten 400 times by bedbugs during one stay. I kind of feel that we’re letting these people down. I feel we’re shirking our obligations to our tourists. 

If I were Director of Operations at Hotel Whitcomb, I would engage in total war with the bedbugs. And I wouldn’t write “Dear Guest” letters what discuss possibilities and evidence.

Just saying.

*Man, for $40 a pop, that’s the best live entertainment value in town, although I think it’s kind of random how good the rush ticket seats are – down in the Orchestra, up in the Mez, who knows. Now,you gotta show up two hours before the performance (at least two hours, and still there’s no guarantee that they won’t be sold out) so that’s your classical price discrimination in operation right there. Anyway, the fun ends August 21, 2011!

BILLY ELLIOT RUSH SEATS NOW AVAILABLE
30 tickets per performance will be offered at $40 per ticket.

  • Available 2 hours prior to curtain
  • CASH only
  • Orpheum Theatre Box Office ONLY
  • First come, First served
  • 2 per person

**Unlike me.