Posts Tagged ‘dmv’

The Best Out-Of-State License Plate Ever: Hand-Made Using Cardboard and a Sharpie

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

The only thing better would be “Oregon” in there instead of “Washington”

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Now I’m no narc. But if you are:

Report Vehicles with Out-of-State License Plates to the CHP

CHEATERS Program logo
Did you know that the State of California loses millions of dollars a year in revenue from California residents who unlawfully register their vehicles in other states or countries?

Did you know that vehicle registration fees are due immediately upon accepting employment or establishing residency in the State of California?

Did you know that California law permits only 20 days to complete the process of registering your vehicle without paying a penalty?

The three most common reasons for not completing the registration process are:

  1. People are unaware of California registration laws.
  2. People are evading payments of registration fees and taxes.
  3. People are unable to comply with air pollution control laws.

Include the following information:

  • State or province in which vehicle is registered. Mexican plates cannot be investigated without a physical address where the vehicle’s owner resides.
  • Vehicle license number
  • Date and time the vehicle was observed
  • Make, model and color of the vehicle
  • Location where the vehicle was observed (street(s) and city)
  • Any additional comments and descriptive information

Word on the Street: “California NSOLVNT” – If I Were an SFMTA MUNI DPT PCO, I Think Twice Before Ticketing This Mitsu

Tuesday, January 21st, 2014

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Here’s Why You’re a Sucker for Not Getting a Handicapped Parking Placard Now: Free Parking Won’t Last Forever

Thursday, January 9th, 2014

Hey look, here’s seven in a row, as recently seen on the streets of San Francisco:

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All right, here’s what NOT to do:

Borrow Nana’s handicapped-placarded Crown Vic to drive to a Giants game to park for free close to the ballpark, like you’re a rock star.

NO NO NO! ‘Cause if you do that, somebody will stake out your nana’s car just waiting for you to return. And then it’ll be, “Where’s your nana, where’s your nana?” And then you’ll get a ticket or two, worth a grand or two.

What you need to do is a little doctor shopping. It’s not too hard to find a CA doc to sign your DMV form because NO DOCTOR IN THE HISTORY OF CALIFORNIA HAS EVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE FOR SIGNING ONE OF THESE DMV FORMS.

But even if you don’t know a doctor, that’s OK because you can have a chiropractor or a nurse or a physician assistant or a midwife sign the form as an alternative.

Now, what handicap should you claim? Well, everybody has something, right? Alls I know is that most handicapped placards used for parking on the streets of San Francisco are being used as a free parking scam. So therefore, lots of people have lies on their DMV forms.

Once you get your “legal” placard, that’s it – nobody in SF will question it.

Of course, you can’t “pull a CW Nevius” by parking in the towaway lane during rush hour, oh no – you’ll get towed. But you will be able to park for free all day all day at meters just like the tens and thousands of others.

Now you’re on the trolly!

One last note – you gotta move quickly, cause this game is getting too big, it’s becoming farcical, too many newcomers are ruining things for the fraudulent placard holders of the world. Check it, Illinois is having a crackdown these days but California is not, not yet anyway.

Why? Well, because no California legislator has stepped up to sponsor a bill to change the law to allow for charging handicap placard holders for parking, that’s why.

They’ve been asked, but they’ve said no.

They’re too chicken!

Oh well.

But someday, this free parking scam will end, the gold rush of free parking will end.

Someday.

Postulation: The People Who Want a Fence Around the McKinley Statue in the Panhandle Have Stopped Cleaning Up Its Graffiti

Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

You see, because they’re wanting to make the case for putting up a fence, right?

So, it’s better to leave the graffiti up until our City Family gets what it wants, right?

We’re through the looking glass, people!

The Current State of the Graffiti on the Golden Gate Park Panhandle McKinley Statue – Fence Coming Soon?

Friday, November 15th, 2013

And actually, there’s a bit more on this statue since this shot was taken a few days ago.

You know, if I wanted to put a fence up around this statue, I’d probably stop cleaning up the graffiti until I got my fence, just saying.

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On It Goes…

The Scariest Halloween Decorations in Town This Year are Windows 21, 22, and 23 at the Fell Street DMV

Tuesday, October 8th, 2013

Ah, memories:

I remember when Halloween in the 415 was pretend scary instead of DMV scary.

Ah memories.

Remember the Queen of Hearts and the Queen of Diamonds at Castro Halloween?

The stage at 16th, Market, and Noe. A kid from one of San Francisco’s housing projects got mad and shot nine people a little later on this particular evening. Nobody died though:

The Raiders and Niners fans what showed up were generally better behaved than the actual fans at the stadiums:

An ocean of people at 17th, Market and Castro, a few years back:

Ah, memories

Can You Really Buy a License Plate From the DMV with “GOD” in It? YES YOU CAN – Presenting “GOD’S 24-7″

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

A California License Plate That Reads “SQUAW?” – Didn’t Oprah Say That Word Means “Vagina?” Yep – Is This Offensive or Not?

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

I’ll tell you, the chances of some part of America, like the lake behind a new dam, getting named squaw-anything are about nil these days.

Check it.

But naming your aging Audi “SQUAW?”

Well that’s A-OK:

Remember, Oprah believes this word means vagina.

Oprah.

Here’s Why Mercedes Drivers Use the Bus Lane on Montgomery in the Financh – High Reward, Low Risk

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

Let’s take a look up Bush Street from Sansome to see what it’s like during the evening drive.

It can start pretty early – look at the shadows:

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It’s not gridlock, but it’s very slow. Drivers make it one or two car lengths per light cycle.

Starting on Bush to get to 1st Street to get to the coveted Bay Bridge on-ramp can take more than a half-hour.

Now what some people in this situation do is say this is ridiculous and then find another way to the bridge. They substitute

Others just stew in their rides – some of these people enjoy honking, you know, as an outlet.

And there’s yet another option.

You can just use the little-used left turn lane after Montgomery and then, and this is key, go straight through the intersection at Sansome to use the BUS TAXI ONLY lane to pass all those su

Thusly:

Now it seems that drivers would get ticketed for this maneuver, but I’ve never seen it happen.

(Cops hate traffic more than you do, so they never hang out here. Come to think of it, I don’t see too many buses or taxis using this special lane either. And I don’t think any forward-facing cameras on any SFMTA vehicle can get you neither)

Of course, then you gotta make it another four arduous blocks to the bridge, oh well.

But otherwise, this is the perfect crime.

Shhhhhh…

Three Things You Don’t Know About the Bay to Breakers

Monday, May 20th, 2013

1.  THE TOP OF HAYES STREET HILL _ISN’T_ THE HIGHEST POINT OF THE BTOB FUN-RUN. JUST CHECK THE ROUTE PROFILE:

“Here’s your route profile, starting from the SoMA near the bay going all the way to the breakers of Ocean Beach. See that big incline just before mile marker three? That’s the vaunted Hayes Street Hill. (And actually, the highest part of Hayes Street on this part of the course is near Pierce, not “at Fillmore and Steiner“ and not ”between Fillmore and Sutter.”)

And actually, that part of Hayes peaks at around 260 feet, not 215:

Now, here’s your winner. It’s the 270-something foot high saddle on JFK Jr. Drive betwixt Prayer Book Cross and Stow Lake / Strawberry Hill, where ”Kennedy” is written:

2. THE BTOB FUN-RUN IS A 12K, AND YET IT’S NOT A 12K – THE CLAIMED “WORLD RECORDS” ARE NOT, IN FACT, WORLD RECORDS

“Race organizers and media have reported that the course records set by Sammy Kitwara in 2009 and Lineth Chepkurui in 2010 are also world records at the 12 km distance;[31] however, the International Association of Athletics Federations, the international governing body for the sport of athletics/track and field, does not recognize world records or world bests in either an indoor or outdoor 12 km.[32] The Association of Road Racing Statisticians, a non-regulatory group that collects road running data, does recognize world records in the outdoor 12 km provided that the race course meets certain criteria.[33][34] In order to rule-out the possibility of wind assistancein point-to-point courses, the ARRS stipulates that the course must have “not more than 30% of the race distance separation between that start and finish”, or 3.6 km for a 12 km race.[34] Given that the Bay to Breakers is run on a point-to-point course in which the start and finish of the event are approximately 10.5 linear kilometers apart, the ARRS recognizes two other marks as 12 km world records: Kenyan Simon Kigen‘s 33:46 in Portland, Oregon on May 19, 1985 and Chepkurui’s 38:10 at the 2010Lilac Bloomsday Run.[33][nb 2]

3. MOST PEOPLE _DON’T_ PAY THE ABSURDLY HIGH REGISTRATION FEE. MOST PEOPLE YOU SEE ARE “BANDITS”

HERE’S THE OFFICIAL ESTIMATE: “…more than in the hundreds but less than tens of thousands.” THE REAL NUMBER IS TENS OF THOUSANDS.

“The Bay to Breakers is known for the large number of unregistered runners, or “bandits”, who participate in the race. Ross Mirkarimi, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, reported that over half of the 60,000 participants in the 2010 Bay to Breakers were unregistered.[19] San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom was among the runners in 2010 who did not pay the registration fee to obtain a race number.[19][22] Registered participation was 24,430 in 2010,[23] 43,954 in 2011,[24] 23,072 for 2012,[25], and approximately 20,000 for 2013.[26]