Posts Tagged ‘dmv’

A California License Plate That Reads “SQUAW?” – Didn’t Oprah Say That Word Means “Vagina?” Yep – Is This Offensive or Not?

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

I’ll tell you, the chances of some part of America, like the lake behind a new dam, getting named squaw-anything are about nil these days.

Check it.

But naming your aging Audi “SQUAW?”

Well that’s A-OK:

Remember, Oprah believes this word means vagina.

Oprah.

Here’s Why Mercedes Drivers Use the Bus Lane on Montgomery in the Financh – High Reward, Low Risk

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

Let’s take a look up Bush Street from Sansome to see what it’s like during the evening drive.

It can start pretty early – look at the shadows:

Click to expand

It’s not gridlock, but it’s very slow. Drivers make it one or two car lengths per light cycle.

Starting on Bush to get to 1st Street to get to the coveted Bay Bridge on-ramp can take more than a half-hour.

Now what some people in this situation do is say this is ridiculous and then find another way to the bridge. They substitute

Others just stew in their rides – some of these people enjoy honking, you know, as an outlet.

And there’s yet another option.

You can just use the little-used left turn lane after Montgomery and then, and this is key, go straight through the intersection at Sansome to use the BUS TAXI ONLY lane to pass all those su

Thusly:

Now it seems that drivers would get ticketed for this maneuver, but I’ve never seen it happen.

(Cops hate traffic more than you do, so they never hang out here. Come to think of it, I don’t see too many buses or taxis using this special lane either. And I don’t think any forward-facing cameras on any SFMTA vehicle can get you neither)

Of course, then you gotta make it another four arduous blocks to the bridge, oh well.

But otherwise, this is the perfect crime.

Shhhhhh…

Three Things You Don’t Know About the Bay to Breakers

Monday, May 20th, 2013

1.  THE TOP OF HAYES STREET HILL _ISN’T_ THE HIGHEST POINT OF THE BTOB FUN-RUN. JUST CHECK THE ROUTE PROFILE:

“Here’s your route profile, starting from the SoMA near the bay going all the way to the breakers of Ocean Beach. See that big incline just before mile marker three? That’s the vaunted Hayes Street Hill. (And actually, the highest part of Hayes Street on this part of the course is near Pierce, not “at Fillmore and Steiner“ and not ”between Fillmore and Sutter.”)

And actually, that part of Hayes peaks at around 260 feet, not 215:

Now, here’s your winner. It’s the 270-something foot high saddle on JFK Jr. Drive betwixt Prayer Book Cross and Stow Lake / Strawberry Hill, where ”Kennedy” is written:

2. THE BTOB FUN-RUN IS A 12K, AND YET IT’S NOT A 12K – THE CLAIMED “WORLD RECORDS” ARE NOT, IN FACT, WORLD RECORDS

“Race organizers and media have reported that the course records set by Sammy Kitwara in 2009 and Lineth Chepkurui in 2010 are also world records at the 12 km distance;[31] however, the International Association of Athletics Federations, the international governing body for the sport of athletics/track and field, does not recognize world records or world bests in either an indoor or outdoor 12 km.[32] The Association of Road Racing Statisticians, a non-regulatory group that collects road running data, does recognize world records in the outdoor 12 km provided that the race course meets certain criteria.[33][34] In order to rule-out the possibility of wind assistancein point-to-point courses, the ARRS stipulates that the course must have “not more than 30% of the race distance separation between that start and finish”, or 3.6 km for a 12 km race.[34] Given that the Bay to Breakers is run on a point-to-point course in which the start and finish of the event are approximately 10.5 linear kilometers apart, the ARRS recognizes two other marks as 12 km world records: Kenyan Simon Kigen‘s 33:46 in Portland, Oregon on May 19, 1985 and Chepkurui’s 38:10 at the 2010Lilac Bloomsday Run.[33][nb 2]

3. MOST PEOPLE _DON’T_ PAY THE ABSURDLY HIGH REGISTRATION FEE. MOST PEOPLE YOU SEE ARE “BANDITS”

HERE’S THE OFFICIAL ESTIMATE: “…more than in the hundreds but less than tens of thousands.” THE REAL NUMBER IS TENS OF THOUSANDS.

“The Bay to Breakers is known for the large number of unregistered runners, or “bandits”, who participate in the race. Ross Mirkarimi, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, reported that over half of the 60,000 participants in the 2010 Bay to Breakers were unregistered.[19] San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom was among the runners in 2010 who did not pay the registration fee to obtain a race number.[19][22] Registered participation was 24,430 in 2010,[23] 43,954 in 2011,[24] 23,072 for 2012,[25], and approximately 20,000 for 2013.[26]

Finally, a Happy Time at the DMV: Third Annual Slappy Contest Today at 3:00PM – Skateboarding is Not a Crime

Sunday, May 19th, 2013

Except when it is a crime.

Actually, just riding your bike through the Fell Street DMV parking lot is a crime unless there’s a sign saying it’s OK to do so and, sadly, there’s no such sign.

Anyway, today’s show must go on:

It looked just like this in 2012, at the second annual. Good times:

Hurray!

Beware, Car Owners: The Great B2B Tow of ’13 is a Coming This Weekend – Hundreds Will Get Towed by SFGov – Will You?

Friday, May 17th, 2013

I’ll tell you, I’m not exactly sure when the tow away signs went up for this year’s historic Bay to Breakers street party – maybe it was today.

No matter, hundreds of cars are going to get towed this Saturday and Sunday.

It’s going to be epic.

Here are the streets to not park your car upon.

Sometimes they give you a week’s notice, but not this year I don’t think.

Click to expand

Let’s review.

Before we can have this…

…or this…

From hard-working Steve Nguyen

…we’re going to have to have this:

(I remember it as if it were just two years ago…)

“The Great Tow of 2011:

One car gets away  in the nick of time, but three others aren’t so lucky:

Ted and Al’s had like ten yellow tow trucks ready to go late Saturday night, in the driving rain. (Note how Bank of America is protecting its windows – the IndyBay crowd got to them, smashy smashy, about a year or so back, unrelated to Bay to Breakers.)

Now, speaking of prêt-à-porters, this is the main body, this is the largest array for the Golden Gate Park Panhandle:

And here’s the second-biggest grouping, along Masonic:

And there are some on the other side of Fell, typically in groups of six on some of the blocks.

But that’s it.

Not sure where B2B is hiding their 1000+ portable toilets claimed for 2011, at this point, just hours before the Kenyans take off on their winning runs.

Oh well.

And there’s no sign of the fencing neither, except for what they have every year.

We’ll see.

The Great Fence of B2B100 is supposed to have upon it either images of Christ hand-selected by P. Anschutz or photos of people who ran the race before white NIMBYs moved into the Western Addition. (You’ll have to tell me about it…). Anyway, here’s the baby fencing they have on scene already along with, and isn’t this cute, a message from San Francisco Natives for a Fun and Buzzed Bay to Breakers. Apparently, the cops can’t arrest for an open container in San Francisco…

And doesn’t this just break your heart – this Vespa scooter has been forgotten on the slopes of the famed Hayes Street Hill, the second highest point on the “racecourse.” Will Auto-Return charge $700 for its return?

Remember, Transit First.

All right, have a great Bay to Breakers 100!

Sucker Watch: Most Participants Won’t Pay to Enter the 2013 Bay to Breakers Fun Run So Why Should You?

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013

Oh, you are a sucker. Well, then be my guest – pay $48 for a number. And actually, and you’ll enjoy this, sucker, it’s already too late to get a good deal on registration for 2013. Prices be higher now.

Most people who aren’t professional runners  don’t pay and here’s a good reason not to pay:

Your money goes directly to “Christian Billionaire” Philip Anschutz.

And then he takes your $$$$$ and uses it to, over the years, oppose the concept of evolution and fund anti-gay efforts.

(It’s funny that he even took an interest in this historic fun run and street party but he likes running so there y0u go.)

The reason that organizers won’t say how many “bandits” show up for the party is because they don’t want you to think that most people don’t pay.

But, IRL, most people don’t pay.

If you don’t believe me then take a NSFW look right here.

How many bibs do you see? Every year they say they will eject all these people and every year they don’t actually do it.

Now the San Francisco Nike Womens Marathon is different. You see, they give out coveted awards and people just can’t help themselves. And then stuff like this happens; “NO BIB NO BIB NO BIB!

But B2B aint like that.

One difference this year will be a limit on the size of the bags you might carry.

It’s like the size of Fook Mi’s backpack, best I can imagine.

Click to expand

All right, have a great 2013 B2B.

And if you want to pay money to somebody, just take whatever your reg fee is and give it to Pride or whatever.

End Of Line.

The Time-Honored Tradition of Practicing for Your Motorcycle Driving Test at the DMV, Even Though Its Agin the Law

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Like this:

Click to expand

And you can’t ride your bike through the parking lot neither, but I do that all the time.

Oh Fell Street DMV, will you ever win?

Stick It To The Man: Unregistered Collection of Aging Mercedes Benzes Defies SFMTA DPT SFPD CHP CARB and EPA

Friday, November 9th, 2012

California registration? No thanks, that’s not for me. I prefer to use license plates from the Land of Enchantment and the Empire State.

But have you seen the urban snorkel (camera left, near the windshield) on my G-Wagen?

Breaking Bad:

Click to expand

Sometimes I just don’t know.

The Future is Now: The Era of “Automatic Number Plate Recognition” is Here – DPT Knows What You Did Last Summer

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

Check it – what do you think these rooftop sensors are for?

As seen on Market Street two days afore the big Halloween 2012 San Francisco Giants parade:

Click to expand

Read and learn:

Hey, SFMTA! Is this your new set of wheels? Oh it is? Well then, what are those attachment things on the roof detecting? Are they detecting a whole bunch of license plates? Well, good for you, SFMTA, good for you.

On McAllister Street during last night’s evening drive:

Click to expand

OMG, it’s Automatic Number Plate Recognition in the 415! And these things are not just sitting fixed by the ballpark during the World Series, oh no, they’s everywhere.

If only MUNI and the streetcars worked as good as these Blue Crush SkyCop-type contraptions:

Anyway, last I saw, this white Chevrolet Uplander minivan was headed into the Fillmore to catch violators.

Hurray!

“Freaking trash! I wonder how much they owe? Most of them are on the run, not even using their social security numbers. If there was only a way to make them pay…”

All right, Repo Man, that’s enough,

O.K., all the deets. I hope our meter maids have all the features shown here:

License Plate Reader

SkyCop® – Mobile License Plate Recognition & Video Surveillance System Pan & Tilt LPR Unit with Thermal Imaging Camera and High Resolution Day / Night Camera Hideaway Touchscreen Radio System

The SkyCop ® Mobile License Plate Recognition & Video Surveillance System (MLPRV) is a complete License Plate Recognition System packaged in a platform to provide mobile, on the fly, license plate reading, video surveillance and analysis. The most advanced of its kind, the MLPRV system incorporates all of today’s advanced technologies to provide on board storage, and remote access for database updates, data offload, and video records retrieval. This technology allows officers to instantly check license plate information as they drive through their patrol areas. Information such as:

  • Improper Registration
  • People driving on revoked licenses
  • Stolen plates and/or stolen vehicles
  • stolen renewal decals
  • Outstanding Warrants
  • Actual vehicle registration info
  • Sex Offenders
  • Known Gangsters

All of this information is provided instantly to the officer while they operate their vehicle, without any user action.

Designed for use in Law Enforcement type vehicles the MLPRV system can also be used with SkyCop® Trailer units and other types of vehicles to increase access protection on a temporary basis for special events. All MLPRV systems provide advanced user friendly features such as the dash mount Touch Screen Control / View Panel with “quick touch” keys for preset positioning of the License Plate Reader and Video Cameras.

Complete with full Pan and Tilt capabilities users can position the License Plate Reader Module in any position desired for precision read areas. Five (5) preset positions are available for frequent positioning. In addition to control functions the dash mounted Touch Screen provides real-time read display and live video display information to the user. “Hot List(s)” information can be entered or imported into the on board computer system to provide flag and alert information to the operator for License Plates that have been designated as plates of interest through local and national databases. Other advanced options and features allow for full integration into other SkyCop® products such as Thermal Imaging Cameras and High Resolution Day / Night Cameras that can be mounted on the Pan & Tilt device. The MLPRV System can also monitor and control other citywide deployments of SkyCop Camera systems for advanced monitoring of a scene. Command Center can also display the MLPRV System while in operation.

Technical Information:

The MLPRV is a vehicle-mounted system for license plate image capture and video processing permitting autonomous operation (requiring no direct action of a user) to read license plates and match against various hot list of wanted vehicles.

The Mobile Video Surveillance Platform will record video and audio using H.264 compression and have the ability to
record up to eight (8) analog cameras for on board video and audio storage with remote streaming to a command center. The system will include a 7” In-Dash Touchscreen for control and monitoring. The License Plate Recognition System (LPR) will use dual-camera imaging (high-resolution cameras for license plate reading, secondary cameras for evidence gathering), GPS (with or without) moving map display, back-end evidence and reporting software, and a wireless communication capability for transferring data between the back-end and each mobile unit. The LPR and Video Surveillance system is mounted on a Pan & Tilt drive system and can be installed on the center light bar or other preferred areas. The LPR and Surveillance Cameras can be automatically positioned on all sides of the vehicle while in operation.

Do You Know How Long You Can Drive Around San Francisco With Massachusetts Plates? Years and Years!

Friday, September 7th, 2012

So, how many years has this rig been in town with its special-looking red-lettered license plate? Years and years?

Wow, a “low number” plate from the Patriot state – aren’t you envious

Click to expand

Of course some people don’t need to pay the DMV thousands and thousands of dollars in registration and “ad volerum” use tax and smog certification and they don’t need to pay the SFMTA any parking ticket fines (up to a point, be careful tho) because they’re exempted. Why? I don’t know, stuff like active military service – I think that’ll work.

(So maybe it’s General “Stormin’ Norman” Schwartzkopf inside this black SUV heading to the Financh during the morning drive, day after day, week after week, month after month, who knows.)

But the other 99% of us need to would need to worry that some busybody will hop on the Internet and find the CHP CHEATERS website.

Uh oh.

Report Vehicles with Out-of-State License Plates to the CHPCHEATERS Program logoDid you know that the State of California loses millions of dollars a year in revenue from California residents who unlawfully register their vehicles in other states or countries?

Did you know that vehicle registration fees are due immediately upon accepting employment or establishing residency in the State of California?

Did you know that California law permits only 20 days to complete the process of registering your vehicle without paying a penalty?

The three most common reasons for not completing the registration process are:

  1. People are unaware of California registration laws.
  2. People are evading payments of registration fees and taxes.
  3. People are unable to comply with air pollution control laws.

Include the following information:

  • State or province in which vehicle is registered
  • Vehicle license number
  • Date and time the vehicle was observed
  • Make, model and color of the vehicle
  • Location where the vehicle was observed (street(s) and city)
  • Any additional comments and descriptive information

* State:

 

 

* Vehicle License Number:


       

* Date & Time Observed (example: 06/01/04 11:00 am):

Make:
      Model:
      Color:

* Location Where Observed
Street(s):
    City:

Comments / Evidence (Please include in the comments field any relevant information that might help with the investigation: specific addresses where the vehicle is observed, how long has the vehicle been seen in California, any information about the owner, why you feel that the owner is attempting to avoid California registration, local decals/bumper stickers/license plate frames, etc.):


* = Required Information

Norman Schwartzkopf!
Something tells me you want to go home!

Champagne, bibles, custom clothes you own
Calling up from special area codes